


Lost Souls and Reveries

by EmilyBea



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2019-06-10 11:35:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 117,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15290676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyBea/pseuds/EmilyBea
Summary: Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to the future he was destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set both of them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest).





	1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: Hi all! I am so happy to be a part of CSSNS and since I was asked I knew I just had to write something with shifters (humans who can turn into some kind of animal). It took a while to craft an idea but eventually I stumbled on this story. This story as of now looks like it will be about 15 chapters, and though there will be a bit more angst than my stories usually have (mostly in the flashbacks), we will have all the same CS cuteness as in my typical stories. Hope you guys enjoy and thanks so much for trying this new AU with me!_ **

Looking at the all of three boxes that held every one of his belongings, Killian Jones didn’t know whether to laugh or to sulk. 

It was pathetic to have so few possessions of matter, and since most of this clutter constituted essentials he didn’t want to waste as opposed to anything of sentimental value, it was an even drearier situation. At this time in a normal life, a person should have belongings and keepsakes. They’d have roots. They’d have some kind of driving motivation and a want to make things stick. All Killian had was a restless spirit and a tendency to look over his shoulder like the past might come barreling back in at any moment. 

“Hey, new guy!”

Killian recognized the voice that called to him immediately, and he barely suppressed a groan of irritation. He didn’t have anything against his upstairs neighbor per se, but Killian wasn’t a fan of idle curiosity, and he certainly didn’t like it when it was aimed at him. His intention by leaving this early in the morning was to avoid encounters of exactly this nature. He’d come into this apartment complex with no fanfare and he expected to leave the same way, but the man who called to him didn’t take the hint. Instead he moved closer to Killian, ignoring the basic signals Killian was giving off that usually deterred people and continuing to talk in a grating and persistent tone.

“You moving out already?”

Killian mumbled out a noncommittal noise even though he very much was leaving. He could have been polite. He could have offered a smile and some small talk, but it wasn’t his style. No, Killian was what movie-making romantics called ‘the strong silent type,’ heavy on the silent, and he wasn’t about to change for some nosey bloke who still dressed like he was ready for a frat party six years out of university.

“So where are you headed now?” Killian heard the query but he did nothing more than meet the man’s eye and arch a brow. That did the trick. Now the neighbor was intimidated, though he held his ground long enough to offer some parting words. “Forget I asked. But you might want to check the mail before you go. It just came in”

Killian grunted at the thought as the frat boy scurried off. Check the mail? When had he ever gotten mail in his two months living here? That was the perk of moving as he did. He never locked into contracts and he rarely even used his real name. It would make tracking him easy, and Killian didn’t want anyone to be able to find him with ease. There were two people the world over who stood as an exception to that rule: his cousin Ruby and her Granny. But when the time came to reconnect, they rarely used traditional means of communication. Why would they when they when there was still a pack bond between them?

Just the word ‘pack’ thought aloud in his mind had the wolf inside of Killian stirring. It was something he resented, something that he’d tried to tamper down. Not his wolf of course – for that would have been fruitless. Killian was a shifter by birth and by natural right, and denying the animal in him, the part that was definitely more beast than man, would only cause trouble and more isolation than he already felt. Still that instinct to want to belong, to rejoin a group, to establish a home even if it was with new family, was primal and basic. His wolf craved connection, but his wolf was dreaming if it thought Killian had any interest in that plan at all. There could be no making packs with humans, and Killian had situated himself in cities filled with only ordinary people for what felt like forever to keep himself from any sort of temptation.

Living so fully in the human world was a strange choice for a shifter. Truth be told, shifters had been around just as long as humans had, and their history was rich with intrigue, but they’d been hiding their true natures for centuries, choosing to keep their secret for fear of persecution. Legends remained, whispers circulated in more paranoid or observant parts of the world, but the thought of people who were part animal and part human had become nothing more than a myth to the vast majority of people today.

That being said, it was hardly easy for shifters to be around humans with prolonged frequency and not give something away. The urge to shift into animal form was a constant, and when the moon was full it was nearly impossible to ignore. As such, most packs built their own towns or villages and established safe spaces where they could live in relative obscurity. Those communities spanned the globe and spanned species. Not every shifter was a wolf like Killian, but the common thread they all shared was a wish to keep the peace and to roam free in wide-open spaces. There was a counsel and a sort of makeshift government that oversaw things in the shifter world, as well as a force to keep packs from exposing themselves to human eyes, but Killian didn’t bother with them any more. He didn’t heed any man’s rules but his own and that was exactly the way he liked it.

Loading the last of his belongings into his truck, Killian settle behind the wheel ready for the long and laborious journey. His new temporary dwelling was some twelve hours away from where he had been living the last few months, and it stood in stark contrast to the last ten places he’d inhabited. Instead of settling on a city with a high enough population that he could easily get lost in the shuffle, Killian had this strange internal need for something smaller and more specific. Instinct had been pointing him towards Maine for years, but he resisted the urge every time he had to move again. This time, however, he’d finally relented and secured a place in a tiny town on the coast that could offer him both proximity to the sea and to large expansive forests where his wolf could roam without detection.

When examining a map to try and find exactly what place he should start his new life in, Killian had dozens of villages to choose from. There were a number of townships that would provide the change of pace his wolf had been craving, but one name among the group stuck out – Storybrooke. It sounded too cheesy and quaint to be real, but sure enough such a place existed, and though at first Killian doubted the merits of choosing a town with such a name, he eventually reasoned that anyone from the past who might look for him would know of his aversion to such a cutesy sounding dwelling. It might ensure him a bit more safety in the end, and it never hurt to stack the decks in his favor.

The journey from Richmond up the coast was largely monotonous and undeniably fatiguing but it was nothing Killian couldn’t handle. One of the advantages of his shifter status was that he had the ability to be alert for longer periods of time. He also had more stamina and he could put off sleep and still function far longer than most humans could. But even with those abilities, Killian would have given anything for a shift and a good long run in the woods by about eight hours in. Instead of allowing himself to indulge though, he settled on fueling up at a small, unremarkable diner along the highway.

“Can I get you anything else, hon?” the waitress asked Killian after he’d downed the meal he ordered in under ten minutes.

Killian spared the woman a glance for the first time since he arrived and chose a corner booth to sit in. She was young, pretty, and chipper, exuding far more excitement than the three-o’clock hour at a rest stop diner deserved, but Killian knew why. She was interested in him, and that wasn’t his ego talking. It was indisputable fact. He could smell her interest and excitement since he walked in the door, but he didn’t need to be a shifter to know that she wanted him. This woman had attempted to flirt with him throughout the meal, but she was wasting her time. For one thing, she was human and thus off-limits, but for another she wasn’t right for him. If she was then his wolf would have taken notice, but that part of him remained quiet, proving this woman would never be anything more than a passing stranger.

“Just the bill, love,” he said – using the endearment as casually as he always did having grown up abroad, but he regretted it the second the word was out of his mouth. Bloody hell, now the girl was going to think he cared, or at the very least try to start a conversation about his accent and where he was from. He hadn’t any interest in engaging with her so he made a last request that extended the truth more than a little bit. “And I’m in a bit of a rush. Trying to make it home before nightfall. You know how it is.”

“Mhmm” she affirmed with a nod and a lingering light in her eyes that spoke to her not having fully given up hope. “You’re racing against time. Only question is, what’s got you so afraid of the dark?”

The words were meant as a passing tease, signaled by the fact that the waitress left then to get him the check as requested, but it hit Killian hard and caused a rush of emotion he’d been staving off for years to surge again. In this moment he was ill equipped to fight back the memories that came with such feelings, for everywhere he looked there were things that set him off. The décor on the wall was quintessential Americana, harking to small towns like the one he’d grown up in. Then there was the music playing on the jukebox in the corner, the time-warped throwbacks that were too old to be the songs of his youth but featured prominently in his memory because they were what his parents liked to listen to. Yet the most triggering part of the diner was the other patrons, most notably a large party in the other corner. In the fray were two young boys, brothers with dark hair and light eyes who were laughing and enjoying themselves tremendously. And as Killian watched them interact, it set off a slew of remembrances in Killian’s mind.

There was once a time when Killian had a large and bustling family, a clan of people just like him, who walked the world as men and women but had a propensity for more. His immediate family was much smaller, just Killian, his parents, and his brother Liam, but since their father was the leader of their pack and the alpha in charge of the communal land they shared, there’d always been others coming in and out of their home. From the outside it probably seemed like a perfect little life: they were a cookie cutter family with two growing boys and a thriving, engaged community of neighbors they could count on. The whole shifting into a wolf whenever the fancy struck thing… well that was just a bonus. But appearances were never what they seemed, and in Killian’s case it was all an illusion with a darker, more sinister truth tucked underneath. That harmony the world might have imagined in the Jones family was nothing but a lie, and it had been decades since he’d left that life safeguarded by his mother and his elder brother Liam. 

“You okay there, sugar?” the waitress asked, pulling Killian from the thoughts and making him jump slightly. He turned his attention to her and nodded, not bothering to look at the slip she delivered as he dropped a few bills to the counter. Then he muttered something like a ‘thank you’ as he left, putting on his jacket and heading out again.

The drive from that point on was much more difficult, and Killian admitted he was rattled and on edge. Usually he was an expert at shutting down wayward thoughts, but as the sun sank lower and lower into the sky he began to lose the battle. By the time he crossed the border from Connecticut to Massachusetts he’d given up completely, keeping his eyes on the road but really only seeing the images of a past that was better off forgotten.

_“Killian, my darling, wake up. Wake up, love.”_

_His mother’s voice was soft but insistent, rousing him from a dream he couldn’t quite remember, and as Killian came awake he could feel the tension in the air and smell the sickly sweet scent of fear. Instinct took over as his body went on the alert. His muscles tightened as he propelled up to a sitting position and his eyes darted around the room before settling back on his mother._

_“Mom?” he asked, frightened by her anxiety but calmed by her presence and the fact that she appeared unharmed. Her dark hair was braided down the side in familiar fashion though some of it had come lose and framed her face. Her blue eyes were fixed on him and though there was uneasiness in them, there was also the love Killian always received from his mother. She bore no visible bruises or scars, and Killian exhaled automatically at that happy fact._

_“We have to go, honey. Here, put these on,” she whispered handing him clothes warm enough for the elements outside as he got out of bed. “We don’t have much time.”_

_“Where are we going?” Liam asked, as he appeared at Killian’s door already changed. His elder brother was nearly fourteen, a whole seven years older than Killian was, and even he seemed uneasy at what was happening. Killian hurried to fulfill his mother’s request as she packed a few small things form around his room into a small sack._

_“Away,” she said and when her voice cracked she cleared her throat. “Far, far away.”_

_“And Brennan?” Liam asked as their mother came back around the bed to button up the last few spots on Killian’s coat. It wasn’t unusual for Liam to call their father by his name. He made a habit of it whenever their father wasn’t around. It was a form of defiance Killian admired even if he didn’t fully understand it. Their mother, meanwhile, looked surprised at the bold use of such a disrespectful address in front of her._

_“Your father won’t be coming,” she said before taking Killian’s hand and leading him out of the room and down the hall to the back door. “We’ll have a new life, and a new start.”_

_“But he’ll find us,” Killian whispered just before she opened the door. “He finds everyone.”_

_“Not this time,” his mother said crouching down to look him in the eyes and offering him a brave smile. “I promise you Killian, your father will never find you or your brother. I swear it by the moon and the stars and the night sky. I will never let him hurt you. Never again.”_

The memory of their escape faded away, skipping ahead through the years that they had known of safety. They’d left the country entirely by means both magical and against the human laws of the world. They had new names, new identities, a whole new story and a made up past, but those lies bought them a kind of freedom none of them had ever known in his father’s house. It was a quiet life with a fragile peace that kept it all together, but Killian’s mind didn’t linger on the good times for long, instead careening towards the night years later when the past caught up to them once more. It was a night that would forever change the course of his life and leave him broken, angry, and hell bent on revenge.

“Enough of this,” he muttered aloud to himself as the toxic thinking of his past filled his thoughts. His hand reached for the radio dial, searching out something, anything, that would take his mind off of this. 

The music helped for a while, and his method of blasting it loud enough that coherent thoughts couldn’t linger for long proved well worth it all things considered. But as he made his way steadily up the coast and found himself passing more and more signs for Boston, another memory struck. This one was different, having far less to do with his family but not packing any less power of feeling or emotion. It was a one time thing, a freak happenstance of chance, but all this time later he’d never forget it.

_“Alright, lad, it’s last call. You good to get yourself home?”_

_The old man at the counter of the Irish bar Killian had nestled into tonight asked the question with a hint of uncertainty. Killian held back a snort of indignation. Of course he was all right. It would take a whole lot more to get a twenty-one year old shifter drunk than the six glasses of whiskey he’d had, but since ‘Old Patty’ as everyone had been calling him smelled completely human, Killian couldn’t fault him the question. Instead he nodded and shot back the rest of his drink._

_“Well I suppose I’ll be seeing you tomorrow then,” Patty stated, already knowing the answer. Killian had been here the last four days. Chances were he’d be back again._

_“Seems rather likely,” Killian replied and the man looked him over as if sizing him up. Killian remained impassive, assured that he had learned at this point how to give nothing away unless he wanted to. Finally Patty gave him some parting words._

_“Be safe out there.”_

_It was a strange thing to say given Killian’s experience with this city so far. Certainly there was crime, but Boston was a mild place as far as cities went. He’d walked the streets late at night a number of times and never been bothered before by anything but the chill that came with nights this far up north. In fact, Killian found it almost amusing that the old man would say something. He walked out of the bar, completely certain that it was about to be another boring, uneventful night, until the wind shifted and his senses pricked up. There was a scent in the air that was familiar and foreign all at once and instantly his wolf knew another shifter was nearby. More than that the shifter was on the hunt, but why in the world would a shifter be hunting in the city? The question sent a cold chill down his spine and though Killian questioned whether or not he should stick his nose in this at all, his mind was made up when he heard someone cry out seconds later._

_Prompted by the signal that someone was in trouble, Killian sprinted down the length of the street he was on before finding the side alley where the scream had come from. What he saw once there stopped him dead in his tracks: there, standing before him, was a girl with shining blonde hair and fear in her eyes that couldn’t be denied even from the distance. There was also a giant dust-colored wolf snarling at her and poised to pounce at any moment. Killian’s instincts screamed at him that this girl had to be saved and protected, even though rationally he knew it wasn’t his job to save her, and there was no room to question it as his wolf pushed to the surface almost of its own volition. It was the first time he’d ever shifted where so many humans might happen upon him, and there was no way he wouldn’t be seen now by the girl in need of help, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was fighting off the other shifter and making sure she was safe._

_With all the quiet of a top predator, Killian moved towards them, only giving his position away when he’d already lunged for the other wolf, sending them both sprawling away from the girl. In the back of his mind Killian hoped she would run to safety and get the hell away from here, but he had to focus on the fight. Whatever was happening with this wolf it wasn’t normal – Killian could feel it in the air and see it in the beast’s eyes. They were a sharp and throbbing scarlet color that was unnatural. Wolves usually had gold or silver irises, and other species had their own colors that made them distinct, but Killian had never heard of any shifter kinds with eyes like these. He tried to mentally push out to this other wolf, using the common telepathic link all shifters shared, but to no avail. There was nothing but rage and malice flowing off of this unknown assailant, and that made him a powerful opponent and a deadly foe to face._

_As their fighting commenced, Killian sustained more bites and more hits than he expected. With alpha-lineage, Killian was stronger and more capable than the average shifter could ever dream of being, but the power of this unknown wolf was unexpected. Again his wolf’s inner instincts told Killian there was something wrong. This wasn’t natural and somehow this animal was tainted in ways Killian couldn’t understand, but that manic, violent energy gave the beast power. There was even a moment where it looked like this would end badly for Killian, but then the other wolf looked back at the girl who was still shaking in fear and trapped against the wall and Killian somehow found the strength to overcome. He took the opening that distraction had created, gaining the upper hand with sheer force of will, and though it hurt him to do it, there was no reasoning with this animal. He wouldn’t submit, he wouldn’t admit defeat, and the only way to keep him from continuing to charge at the young human was to kill._

_When the deed was done Killian waited for the nausea and sickness that came with taking a life to wash over him. He took no satisfaction in killing another, no matter how justified it was. But when he turned his gaze back to the girl he felt strangely at peace. Seeing her better now he could tell she wasn’t quite as young as he once thought, even if she was still too young to be appreciating her as he did. She had fair skin, wide green eyes, and a face so beautiful it was fit for an angel. The alleyway light cast her in this kind of glowing way, and Killian could see that she’d stopped shaking. Somehow she didn’t seem so afraid now, but that was madness. He was a wolf and she had just witnessed something that would be traumatic in any place, never mind a city such as this._

_“You saved me,” she whispered, the words so low a human would have missed them but they struck Killian with more impact than any blow he’d just sustained from his opponent._

_Her tone was so sweet, the words so genuinely grateful and filled with awe that it made him feel this strange warmth seeping through him. He longed to approach her, to get closer and understand what it was about her that could seem so perfect and so pure, but then a noise came from inside the building beside them. Only then did Killian realize it was a hospital. He hadn’t noticed before, too busy trying to save this lass who intrigued him and who called out to him on such a basic level, but now good sense returned once more. He took one last look at her before darting away, concealing the other wolf in the shadows of the alleyway until an authority member could come and contain the scene. Then Killian started a plan to get out of Boston before trouble could catch up to him and in turn maybe catch up to her too._

In all the years since that night, Killian had never had another similar interaction. There was the occasional run-in with another shifter, but never one so out of control or hell bent on killing a human. Other shifters like Killian who had gone rogue in some way might not operate within the traditional pack lines, but they also didn’t have vendettas against humans as that shifter had. Messing with humans was the best way to get yourself killed by the counsel or thrown into some kind of shifter detainment and no one sane had any interest in either of those options. 

There was also no other person who compared to that girl. No human or shifter Killian had met in the years since intrigued him in that way. He’d been curious about her and drawn in so immediately that it still puzzled him even now. She was so young, too young even, no more than seventeen he would guess, but she felt incredibly important and vital to the fabric of his life. To this day there were nights that Killian dreamed of her or where his mind wandered when sleep would not come. In those moments he would wonder about what the last five years had been like for her. Was she still in Boston? Had she managed to put that night behind her? Did she ever wonder if it was more than a freak animal encounter? These were questions he’d never have answered, but they were safer thoughts than the ones plaguing him so far during this drive. As such Killian allowed himself to linger in them the whole rest of the way, only letting go of them when he saw the ‘Welcome to Storybrooke’ sign just as the sun was beginning to set. 

The drive into town led Killian to believe that there was all of one main roadway in this place. A few more minutes brought him to what must be the center of Storybrooke, one single strip with shops, a market, and a couple of places to eat. To another long-time city dweller such a place might be unnerving, but Killian didn’t mind it so much. It certainly made finding the small real estate office he needed to locate that much easier, and as he parked his truck along the road and got out to fetch the keys to his new rental he thought he might even enjoy this place. He couldn’t see the ocean from here, but he could hear it well enough and feel its cooling breeze as well.

The coastal ambiance was complimented by the chirping of crickets readying themselves for the summer night ahead, and the chattering of people who lingered on the street in the after dinner hour. This was clearly a town that was close knit and connected, and it dawned on Killian that this could be an issue down the line. He had no intention of connecting with his fellow neighbors, only plans to shut away in the cabin he’d procured and try and find some peace before moving on again. That probably wouldn’t go over well in a town as small as this, but Killian didn’t care. Let them all be angry or concerned – it wasn’t his problem. All he cared about was surviving and resting up before eventually hitting the road again in the hopes of staying ahead of the demons that followed. 

With that conviction in hand, Killian crossed the street to the realtor, barely casting a glance to look for non-existent traffic, but out of the corner of his eye a flash of gold caught his attention. When he made it to the sidewalk he caved to curiosity and glanced back over only to stop in his tracks at the sight of a beautiful woman. The gold he’d seen had come from her hair, which was pulled back in a yellow ribbon but still hung long enough to entice him. He wanted to reach out and feel those silky strands, to see if they felt as decadent as they appeared. At the moment she was facing the other direction, not offering him a glimpse of her face, but in that time Killian took in her figure, seeing she was lithe but still blessed with curves that poked at a desire he hadn’t indulged in in years. In the dress she wore, he had a clear view of her long legs, and without so much as seeing her face she knew she was a knockout – but when she turned and their gazes clashed he never imagined what lay in store for him. 

_It’s her!_ Killian thought to himself, unable to fathom how that could be possible. All the same he was certain. The girl from Boston, the one he’d saved years ago, this was her! Only now she was grown up and even more tempting and alluring than she had been back then. 

In the five years since he first saw her she’d grown up substantially, morphing from a teen to a woman in the best possible way. He could see changes in her, differences from the girl who had haunted his dreams, but her eyes were exactly the same. He’d never forget that shade of green, or the feelings that came the first time they looked at each other. The same light he saw then was clear as day now, but somehow, the power it held over him was even more profound. He swore in that moment that she could see him, _really_ see him, and for a second he thought she would recognize him too. Only after a moment did he realize that was crazy. That night she’d seen him as a wolf, not a man. It was impossible, but in the face of this miracle of finding her again Killian felt a shift within his chest. It felt like his world had finally come into focus. This was more than a mere attraction to a gorgeous woman, but what it was Killian couldn’t rationally explain. The only thing he could think was an instinctual response from the recess of his mind:

_Mine_! His wolf said. _My love, my mate._

Mate? But that couldn’t be right. She was a human – definitely a human - but then again she was also so much more. She was a siren calling to him, begging his legs to propel him forward. He wanted to go to her, to talk to her, to see if her voice was as he remembered or if it had changed as the years went on. He had this need to hear her laugh, to see her smile. He craved the chance to touch her, to really know her, to see if she was what he imagined, or, as he was starting to suspect, if she was so much more than that. 

As their gazes remained locked in the span of seconds that felt simultaneously like a lifetime and all too swift and fleeting, Killian knew she felt the pull too. This wasn’t one sided, not if the flush that came to her cheeks or the widening of her eyes said anything. But what could he possibly say to her? _“Hi, I’m Killian. I have a fuck ton of baggage, a constant need to run from the past, oh and I think I’m in love with you largely because I can turn into a wolf and have semi-magical tendencies?”_ Uh, no.

“Emma?” an older woman asked, drawing his human’s attention away from him.

Killian felt the loss as she looked at another instead of at him like a swift punch to the chest, but it was settled by the fact that now he knew her name. _Emma_. Her name was beautiful, just like her, and it resonated at a level in his heart that should frighten him. This level of recognition and of wanting was so foreign to him, but it couldn’t have been more natural. Nevertheless, he had to get his bearings back or risk her thinking he was crazy, or stupid, or something of the like.

He couldn’t seem to draw his gaze from her, try as he might, but when she looked back at him she smiled, and it felt like sun on a perfect summer day, and a full moon at the height of winter. He and his wolf were both basking in what felt like perfection itself, and Killian could tell he was already addicted to this feeling. For the first time in a long time he felt his own lips curve into a smile, and he felt a surge of pride when he saw her response. Her expression brightened, her eyes spoke of wanting to come towards him too, but alas, it wasn’t to be. Much as he might want to cross every obstacle to get to her, it wasn’t in the cards. At least not tonight. Instead Emma returned her attentions to her companion, breaking the moment and the connection between them.

Killian was still caught up in her spell a while later. He stood there, rooted in place, for too long, trying to understand how fate could be this way. There was so much unanswered, so much that couldn’t be mere coincidence happening all at once, but the promise of seeing her again now that he was here filled Killian up with a tremendous relief. His old plan of staying shut away was gone now – for he knew he couldn’t be here and not seek her out tomorrow and every day thereafter. In her presence, he’d been granted a tremendous gift. He felt able to breathe for the first time in forever, and the weight of his world had been lifted. It was powerful and magical, and Killian carried the dazed but elated feeling as he gathered the keys to his new cottage and made his way to his new home.

**_Post-Note: Okay, so there is my first chapter and as you might be able to tell I am walking a new fine-line with this fic, a line between a very painful past for Killian (and some painful moments for Emma which we will see next chapter) and a fluff-filled, insta-love, shifter romance. Even by the end of this chapter you can see I couldn’t stay situated in the angst. I need the hope, I need the promise, I frankly need the love, and as such you guys can trust that you will find this here. I also promise I am not delving super deep and detailed into the traumas of the past. There will be painful emotions and memories, but descriptively I cannot handle going too dark. I leave that to better angst-writers, some of whom are also doing CSSNS. As such, you should prepare yourself for a largely fluffy endeavor with some twists and turns along the way. There will also be more action coming, as this chapter had some world building to do to get you all caught up with some basic shifter things. Anyway, I hope you will all join me on this new adventure, I thank you so much for reading, and I look forward to hearing what you think and sharing with you next time!!_ **


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: Hey all! So first, thanks to all of you who have shown this fic love and who are joining me on this new CS adventure. This chapter we will pick up from Emma’s POV and we’ll establish more of Emma’s story along with more of what the CS relationship might look like in this kind of AU. Fair warning that the heavier themes that we saw in Killian’s past have similarly sad shades in Emma’s._** **_If you’re worried about it (and keep in mind all angst is in the flashback) feel free to message me. As with the last chapter though, I am trying to shy away from anything like graphic sadness. Know that it’s all in the past and that this fic WILL be a certified fluff fest. Anyway hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!_**

How can something so dark be so beautiful? _It was the first thing Emma thought when she looked at the man she knew had to be from out of town standing there on Main Street._

_He was hardly dressed for the June weather or the Storybrooke style of living. Dark jeans, a dark shirt, and a black leather jacket gave him an edge that only accentuated the midnight color of his hair and the stubble of the beard he had along his handsome face. The clothes were well fitted and Emma couldn’t help but take him all in, noticing the hard lines of muscle that spoke to a physique she desperately wanted to get her hands on. The attraction that she felt was too fast, too potent, and then she caught the intensity of his blue gaze and Emma lost her breath. A purer color she had never seen, not even on the brightest of summer days in the ocean she’d grown up on. It was intriguing and perplexing, and in the light of this fading day Emma wondered if there were actually gold flecks among the blue or if she just imagined them. Either way his eyes were only one part of a perfectly potent package._

_Holy crap! This guy was… lethal, deadly, and totally and without question consuming her. The few seconds they’d been looking at each other felt simultaneously all too fleeting and like a small eternity in themselves. Emma couldn’t tell if she wanted to bolt under the intensity of his stare or if she wanted to run towards him. It was the strangest sensation, but it was no stranger than the thought that rang out in her mind at first sight:_ Mine!

“Emma, honey, you doing alright?”

The question from her mother pulled Emma back to the reality of the morning she was actually living in, and it mirrored the moment last night when her mother appeared and broke the trance between Emma and the enigmatic new arrival to Storybrooke. This time though, Emma wasn’t spacing out in public. She was in her childhood home enjoying a weekly breakfast with her parents. She felt herself begin to flush with embarrassment, wishing she hadn’t just been fantasizing about some hot guy in front of her Mom and Dad. She really needed to get herself together, impossibly handsome man or not. 

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just tired.”

“Sounds like someone needs more coffee,” her father said with his usual chipper tone. He got up to refill Emma’s mug and her Mom put more pancakes on her plate, which made Emma smile. This was so like her parents, to be totally in sync with each other and to have one guiding motivation of making their kids happy.

Emma had been on the receiving end of even more of their love and attention than usual lately because she wasn’t splitting the time with her younger bother Neal. Instead, her brother was off enjoying his summer in Boston with some of the world’s smartest teenagers at a camp designed for young geniuses. It was an honor, but not surprising that her little brother would get to go on such an adventure, because Neal had always been the smartest kid she’d ever known. All the same, Emma realized it was difficult for her parents to let him go away for such a long stretch of time even if he was thirteen. But after years of his early childhood when he’d had no choice but to stay cooped up inside and sheltered from other kids, they couldn’t deny him the chance to branch out. It was time for her brother to spread his wings a bit, if not leave the nest fully.

“Are you sure you’re getting enough sleep, Emma?” Her mother asked. Emma quirked a brow up in question and her mother qualified the statement immediately. “I just ask because I know there’s a lot on your plate. Your Dad’s told me how wonderful you’ve been and how much work you’re taking on at the clinic. I want to make sure you aren’t pushing yourself too much.”

“I’m fine, Mom,” Emma assured her, thinking that if anything the closeness to animals and the feeling that she was doing good works always boosted her morale. “It was just one restless night. It’s nothing to worry about.”

Any other parent would have been appeased by this kind of admission, but Emma’s mother remained tense even in the face of Emma’s promise. Mary Margaret Nolan’s blue eyes took in Emma as if studying for signs of an underlying struggle. Emma felt on the spot, but she willed herself to portray a sense of calm even if she didn’t fully feel it. Without her mother even having to ask, Emma knew the fear that both of her parents developed when Emma’s sleep was troubled. They were worried that the dreams were back, or rather one dream that had plagued Emma on and off for years.

“Why don’t I just give Doctor Hopper a call?” Her Mom asked, moving towards the phone. “You know he’s always so good at helping you. I’m sure he has time this week. Let me just -,”

“Mom!” Emma said, in a louder sterner voice that still tried to be courteous even in its forcefulness. Her mother looked at her again and Emma stood up and took her hand, trying to really make her see that she was making too big a deal of this. “I promise you I’m okay, and if I thought I had to go back to Archie you’d be the first one I told. It’s fine – trust me.”

Finally her Mom exhaled a breath and Emma knew the worst was over. The sudden bought of worrying had now mostly passed, and things could return to normal again. The three of them sat back at the table together, and though there was a kind of quiet that settled all around them, it wasn’t thick and tense in an uncomfortable way. Thank goodness for that. For now Emma had gotten away with her little white lie, but to ensure they didn’t go down that road again she needed a distraction. She jumped on the first one she could think of that had the highest chance of success.

“So have you heard anything from Neal?” Emma asked, switching over to something she knew they’d love to fill her in on. “How’s he liking MIT?”

“Oh he loves it,” her mother replied excitedly. “You should have heard him when he called yesterday. He was so excited about this flying contraption thingy. Goodness, he said the name about a dozen times, but I just can’t remember - what was it again David?”

“Drone Day,” Emma’s Dad filled in with a smile. “They had to design and build their own drone and whoever’s could complete the most tasks won.”

“Let me guess, his was the best?” Emma asked, already knowing the answer.

“Mhmm,” her mother hummed proudly. 

Emma felt a similar surge of pride for her little brother, knowing Neal was a remarkable kid with an amazingly attuned brain. He was truly brilliant, but he was also kind as well. Neal wasn’t awkward or secluded from the rest of the world despite his talents; he was just a regular teenage boy with a unique ability to remember all kinds of things and answer problems faster than anyone she knew. He’d actually been told a number of times that he could test out of his grade early and head to college in just a couple more years if he so chose, but he didn’t want that. Despite his gifts, Neal had always wanted to be normal, and after everything her parents were more than willing to give him that.

“When are you guys going down there again?” Emma asked, knowing that since they dropped Neal off last week her parents had been counting down the hours until another family visiting day would come.

As expected, her parents prattled on about the mid-summer check in that would arrive in a few weeks, and her mother mentioned that there might be some need for her to go down to Boston in the meantime. If that happened, she might get the chance to see Neal then. 

Emma bit back a laugh at the thought, knowing there was no real reason to get down to the city in the coming week, but she took comfort in the overwhelming love her parents had for her brother. Neal had always been there little miracle baby, born after ten years of trying to give Emma a sibling when all hope was relatively gone. When he’d gotten sick it had nearly killed her parents, but hope, and belief that things had to get better, along with some kick ass advancements in medicine, had cured Neal of the disease that threatened to take him far too soon. Having gone through all that with him, it was understandable that Emma’s parents would be so protective and fierce in their love for their youngest child, and Emma had learned a long time ago that it didn’t mean they loved Neal any more than her. There was more than enough love to go around in the Nolan family, of that she was totally sure.

“We’re thinking of having a big end of the summer cook out,” her mother said at one point, drawing Emma’s attention. There was no exaggeration in her mother’s world. If she said big, she meant big, like the whole town of Storybrooke big.

“Oh really?” Emma asked, already picturing it in her mind and knowing her Mom would find some way to top the dozens of other parties she’d thrown through the years. How she’d do that, Emma didn’t know, but the last summer party they’d had there were bouncy castles for the kids, elaborate lantern lights spanning the woods in the back of the house, flowers covering every corner of the grounds, and water fixtures just for show. Her mother had actually had a hedge maze put into the backyard. To be blunt, it was completely over the top.

“We figured it would be good to welcome Neal back home again and to celebrate your working with Dad. You know you never let us throw the graduation party I was planning last year.” Emma laughed at her mother’s slight pout. It was a well known fact to everyone in town that Mayor Mary Margaret Nolan hated to be denied a celebration.

“That’s because you started talking about hiring entertainers and acrobatic performers. I went to vet school, Mom. I didn’t join the circus. It was a lot.” 

“It wasn’t -,” her mother began to say, but Emma watched as her Dad wrapped his arm around her mother’s waist and heard him murmur words of correction. This led her Mom to sigh and admit the truth. “Okay, maybe it was a little much, but I was just so proud of you. We’re both so proud.” 

“I know, and I love you guys for that,” Emma admitted freely, standing up and giving them both a hug. “So if you want to throw the party that’s fine – just promise me you’ll try to keep it low key.”

Her mother replied that she would try her best at the same time that her father said ‘not happening,’ and the three of them shared a laugh together. But at that moment Emma realized her time with her parents was also running short. She had plans to meet up with her best friends Elsa and Anna today and if she left now she’d be there just in time to not get a scolding about being late. Emma made her goodbyes to her parents and headed for the front door, smiling to herself about the time she’d just had and how lucky she was to have her family.

By the time she was outside Emma was totally at peace, loving the warmth of the sun on her skin and the beautiful day that had settled into town, but just as she was about to head down the front path of her parents’ house and out into the world again, something caught her eye on the ground. Whatever the object was it was metallic, reflecting light where nothing should be at the edge of the emerald green lawn. Emma didn’t know what it was at first, but when she pulled it from it’s hiding place, half buried in the dirt, she was dumbfounded. _It couldn’t actually be… could it?_

Wiping the brown topsoil off of the pendant that hung on a simple white gold chain, Emma felt her fingers trace a design she’d studied for years. It was an unusual style of carving, but after close inspection it was clear this was supposed to represent a compass. North, South, East, and West were all represented, but the etchings in the middle were swirls that seemed almost ancient in their design. Emma had never seen anything else like them before, but she found this on that night – the night that could have very well been her last– the night that plagued her dreams for years. Seeing the amulet now, she felt the memories sink into her consciousness, as if she couldn’t control her own mind now that they were here again.

_Sitting with Neal as he lay sleeping in the hospital bed, Emma tried to ignore how pale he looked and how weak he appeared. Her brother had always been a small boy, but now he was identifiably sick and it tore Emma up inside to see him this way._

_Despite everything she felt though, Emma never ever let her brother know her pain. It was so hard, but every moment she spent with Neal she stood as strong as she could. Emma was seventeen and Neal was only seven, and where a few months ago she had thought he was often annoying and always under foot, now she realized what a gift it was to have him. Her little brother was the best kind of person, and she couldn’t even imagine him not getting to grow and to thrive and to put his stamp on the world. She had to believe he would get better. She just had to._

“Doctor, there has to be something else we can do.”

_Emma heard her mother’s voice from where she stood in the hallway with her father and the doctor, and the frailty in her Mom’s tone cut Emma to the core. Here was a woman who_ always _had hope, but right now her mother sounded like she had nothing to cling to anymore. She was starting to lose her faith, but she couldn’t do that. They couldn’t give up on Neal, not when he needed them more than ever._

“I know it seems bad, Mrs. Nolan -,”

“Mary Margaret,” _her mother corrected, and Emma almost smiled, knowing that her mother was always trying to remind the staff at the hospital of their first names. She believed that by building a bond it would improve Neal’s chances of getting better, and Emma knew all of them would give anything and do anything to help her brother now._

“I know it seems bad Mary Margaret, but this is just the first step of the treatment. When you came to me I told you that the cocktail he needs of medicines are hard on any body.”

“You did,” _Emma’s father agreed._ “But we didn’t realize… he’s just so…”

_“_ Weak. I know. This round of treatment is grueling and harder than anything he’s ever had to fight before. It’s a tougher combination than nearly anyone in this hospital will ever have to take, but it’s the only way we know how to maybe kill the disease. If he makes it through to stage two -,”

_“When he makes it,” Emma said out loud, knowing she wouldn’t wake Neal who was still sleeping soundly._

_Rising from her spot where she’d been perched beside her brother, Emma walked into the light of the hallway to see them. Her parents looked forlorn in the moment, and Emma could see the trail of tears that stained her mother’s cheeks and the welling up of unshed one’s in her father’s eyes. They were both at their breaking point, filled with despair and with guilt. The genetic nature of Neal’s disorder made them feel like it was their fault but it wasn’t. They weren’t seeing clearly because they were feeling too much. Emma, however, would not yield to the sadness yet. She had to believe that this would work, and if everyone else was too scared to be strong, then she would be strong for them._

_“Neal’s going to make it,” Emma stated with conviction. “He’s stronger than you all think.”_

_“Emma, honey -,”_

_“Don’t!” Emma said forcefully, holding her hand up. “I don’t want to hear anything from any of you if it’s not agreeing that he will get better. He told me himself today that the pain wasn’t so bad. He just needs a few days rest and you’ll see. He’s going to be okay. He has to be okay.”_

_Before anyone could contradict her, Emma turned around and headed down the long hallway, running when it was strictly forbidden in the hospital. She knew she wouldn’t stay gone for long, but the harsh glare of the hospital lights and the dizzying, claustrophobic feeling that facing all of this caused in her needed some kind of relief. Emma had to get some air and some space, if just for a little while, and she moved down the stairwell and out into the side alley of the hospital. She had found herself out here a time or two before, usually during the day, and she was glad that tonight there was no one else around. She needed to be alone. It was the only way she could let the tears that had been building fall._

_But in the instant that her eyes began to really blur with her emotion, something moved in her peripheral vision, causing Emma’s senses to go on alert. That was strange – since she’d just checked both directions and there was nothing there, but Emma had found in the months since they moved here from Storybrooke that wildlife wasn’t unheard of. There were raccoons in the city, and the occasional possum too. Emma assumed whatever it was would be something like that at worst, or maybe just a rat – which while gross was nowhere near threatening – but when she wiped her eyes and looked at the figure that stood in the shadows of the dumpster across the way, it made her blood run cold._

_The shape of the beast before her was obviously canine, but it was way too big to be any kind of dog that she knew. The one’s her Dad had worked with all her life looked nothing like this massive, hairy, beast. Emma swallowed harshly just at the imposing size of this animal, trying to convince herself it was just some lost freakishly large golden retriever that meant her no harm, but then its eyes flashed red and Emma knew this was a real predator, and not some passing, unthreatening being._

Okay, Emma, don’t panic _, she said to herself as she crept back to the door._ Nice and easy, don’t freak out. Don’t freak out.

_After a few seconds, she was back within arm’s length of the door and as she reached out for the handle Emma felt the tiniest surge of relief. There was enough space between her and whatever this animal was for her to get inside before it got to her, but then she went to turn the door and it was locked._ Shit! Shit, shit shit! _Emma’s eyes went to look for another place to run, but the beast was blocking the entrance to the street and it chose that moment to step further into the light._

It’s a wolf, _Emma thought to herself, but it was hardly a coherent thought. The musing was just the product of a brain rocked by fear trying to make sense of the impossible._

_How could there possibly be a wolf in the city? And since when had wolves gotten to be so large and so menacing? With the adrenaline spiking in her system, Emma’s vision began to haze around the edges. Her breathing became shallow, her palms sweaty as the emotion coursed within her. She heard a shrieking cry, only to realize it had come from her as the animal moved forward. It was a last ditch attempt instinctively to save herself, for there was nothing here in the alleyway to try and fend off a demon wolf._

_The next few moments were packed with a flooding sense of fear, but just as Emma thought her final seconds on earth had arrived, another wolf jumped into the fray of things. It was crazy to see, watching the lighter wolf that was hunting her be tackled by one that was a shade of midnight black. It didn’t make any sense, and the strangeness of it kept Emma spellbound. She watched in a sick kind of fascination, but her instincts never told her to run, not after the new wolf arrived. For some reason she felt safer, as if two huge animals was somehow better than just one, and then the tussle was over and Emma discovered the black wolf had won out in the end. He looked to be similar in size, if not a bit bigger than her attacker had been, but Emma noticed the difference in the eyes of this animal. Instead of red irises, his were gold – at least Emma assumed it was a he. It just kind of felt that way as she stared at the mammoth creature that had saved her life._

_“You saved me,” she said aloud, and then in the weirdest twist (likely brought on because she was fully crazed from what had just happened) she longed to reach out to this wolf. She felt the need to thank him, to be closer to him, but before she could get the chance the wolf sprang away, heading back down the alleyway and into the night…_

The laughter of some of the neighborhood children pulled Emma back from the remembrance of that evening. She took a steadying breath, trying to remind herself that it had all just been a dream as she tucked the medallion in the pocket of her dress. 

After years of working with her therapist, Doctor Hopper, Emma realized that whole incident had likely just been a mental break. The stress of her brother’s illness had pushed her mind to see impossible things, and in the light of the next day Emma found there was nothing in the alleyway to corroborate the story. It could not have been real in the end, and she’d resigned herself to the fact that though she’d never had a moment vividly captured in her mind, it couldn’t be the truth. This compass was the only thing that seemed to not belong in the light of day, and Emma had taken it with her only to lose it again years later when she was going off to college.

Finding it now felt like some kind of sign, a sign Emma didn’t know exactly how to read. She tried to piece it together as she moved through town to get to her date with Anna and Elsa, but it was all for nothing. There was no real way to know what anything meant, and for all she knew it was just a coincidence. The world was filled with them, after all, so reading too much into this would likely do her no good.

“Emma, you made it!” Elsa said by way of greeting as Emma walked through the door of the town’s tiny café.

It was a relief to Emma to see her oldest and dearest friend after a few days apart. Elsa was always so bubbly and kind, and the two of them, along with Elsa’s sister Anna, had been through everything together. Their mothers had been pregnant with them at the same time, and it was a long standing joke that Emma was just as much a sister as Elsa and Anna were. When Neal was sick Elsa and Anna were her rock and safe place. Elsa had even taken the bus a few times from Storybrooke to Boston during that terribly unsure time to see Emma and make sure she and Neal were okay. Then when tragedy struck and Elsa and Anna lost their parents in a car wreck just a year later, Emma tried to return the favor. She was diligent in making sure she was there for Elsa and for Anna, but even though she loved them to pieces, she wouldn’t call herself a particularly affectionate friend. As such it was a surprise to Elsa when Emma gave her a huge hug, trying to wash away the last of the emotions that the remembrances had caused. 

“Okay, Emma, what’s going on with you?” Elsa asked, sounding almost like a mother instead of a best friend. 

“Nothing,” Emma said. “What, can’t I give my best friend a hug?” 

“Of course you can,” Elsa responded with a softer look. “But I know you and I know when there’s something up, and something is definitely up.”

“I bet I know what it is,” Anna proclaimed gleefully as she appeared as if out of thin air, giving Emma a hug of her own before leading them all to their seats and diving right into the conversation. “You heard about the new guy, didn’t you, Els?”

“The new guy?” Elsa asked as Emma blushed, thinking back to the stranger she’d encountered last night and not having the power to shut off the way her heart skipped a beat at the mere mention of his existence. She should have known that somehow Anna would be aware of him. If there was even a whiff of gossip in this town, Anna was undoubtedly in the know.

“His name is Killian Jones if my intel is correct, and you know it always is,” Anna filled in with the same sass and silliness that she always had in spades as she flipped one of her braids over her shoulder and continued on. “He’s renting Mrs. Hubbard’s cottage down on the beach for the summer, he drives a red pick up truck, and he has a bit of an accent but other than that there’s not much to know yet. Tiana said he just came into town to pick up his keys at her office and then immediately left. I asked around the diner and it turns out he hasn’t been seen since.” 

“Well to be fair he only got here last night,” Emma replied as she digested the news.

Despite doing her best to seem unaffected, Emma was ravenous for more information about the town’s newest arrival. This was already more than she’d known previously, and truth be told even knowing his name felt powerful. Killian Jones – that wasn’t a name that you heard every day. It was strong, and admittedly sexy, and when Emma compounded that with the fact that Anna said he had an accent she was intrigued. There was no telling where the man was from just by appearances. All Emma knew was that he wasn’t from anywhere near here.

After a beat of silence fell between Emma and her friends, Emma realized she’d just stepped into a trap. Elsa, for her part, looked shocked at Emma’s added bit of news, but Anna only grinned as she took Emma’s opening to get more information.

“And just how did you know he arrived last night, Emma Nolan?” Ugh, she was so busted. Oh well, better to just tell Anna what she knew instead of trying to draw it out. 

“I may have seen him for a second on my way to dinner with Mom,” Emma answered, hoping beyond hope her tone of voice wouldn’t give her actual feelings about seeing him away. Unfortunately with her best friends, escaping notice was impossible.

“Oh my God and you didn’t even call me?!” Anna practically yelled as Elsa asked, “Really? What was he like?”

“There isn’t really much to say,” Emma assured Anna, “I only saw him for a moment. We didn’t even talk or anything.”

“But he made an impact,” Elsa said resolutely, in that almost prophetically accurate way she tended to have. 

“I guess,” Emma hedged, even though she knew for sure that he had.

“So you saw him. There must be something else you noticed. Spill it,” Anna begged, looking like a kid awaiting presents on Christmas morning. 

“He’s different,” Emma said immediately, and before she could think the better of it she gave a better sketch of him. “I’ve never seen anyone like him before. He stood out, but in a good way. He kind of looked like he should have ridden into town on a motorcycle with the shades and the leather jacket -,”

“Oh Tiana told me about that,” Anna replied gleefully. “She said it was hot, hot, hot. Like James Dean in his prime only better.”

Emma didn’t understand the flare of something like jealousy at Tiana’s characterization. After all she wasn’t wrong. The man – Killian, Emma corrected herself mentally –was more than attractive. His aura had pulled her in more than any other man ever had, but Emma didn’t love the idea of other women noticing him. It was weirdly territorial and very unlike her, but Emma couldn’t deny the feelings as much as she might like to. 

“He seemed kind of… intense,” Emma admitted, remembering the way it felt to be caught in his gaze and the way the look he gave her felt like a physical caress against her skin. “But I could just be reading into it. I don’t actually know him.”

“You will,” Elsa asserted suddenly, taking both Emma and Anna by surprise. The certainty in her friend’s voice caused Emma to shiver slightly, for in all the years of their being friends Emma had never known an Elsa prediction or insight to be wrong. Still it was strange. How could Elsa be so certain when she herself had never even seen Killian before? As if she could read Emma’s questioning thoughts Elsa qualified. “I just have a feeling about it.”

“Ohh an Elsa feeling!” Anna clapped happily, bringing attention to them from the other people in the café. “This just keeps getting better and better!”

From there Elsa and Anna began bantering back and forth over their tea and scones about what the future might hold for Emma and ‘her mysterious match.’ They went on and on, mostly teasing as they built out a whole trajectory for Emma and Killian’s relationship, but eventually Emma pleaded with them to have mercy. Much as she wanted to laugh along with the over the top theatrics and not think too much of this, it was harder than expected. What was meant as teasing somehow felt more powerful today, and Emma was sitting there yearning for all of these milestones to be real even though she didn’t know the man in question. The only way to shut it down was to do what she’d done with her parents earlier – and thankfully she succeeded, switching their conversations from chit chat of her would-be love life to other talks of the town and updates from Elsa and Anna.

Soon enough the afternoon get together with her friends drew to a close. Even though it was a Saturday, Emma still had errands to run and people to see. Right now there was a book on hold for her and her Dad at the library, and though Emma knew her friend Belle would be there a bit past closing time, she didn’t want to take advantage of the town librarian’s devotion to her job. Instead Emma took her leave from her friends and she hustled out the door and towards the library. The brisk pace she set herself was the perfect kind of distraction from her own wayward thoughts, but just when she believed herself to be in the clear, she turned the corner and walked right into a hard body. 

The impact of the collision was harsh, with her hands hitting a hard chest first and her whole body following thereafter, but before Emma could stumble, two firm, warm hands reached out to steady her. The zing of awareness Emma felt at the contact should have been warning enough that this wasn’t an ordinary person she’d just met with, but she couldn’t believe that it could possibly be her newest neighbor until her eyes moved up her assailant’s body and her eyes clashed with the same stormy blue ones she’d seen yesterday.

Dear Lord, this man was handsome. Emma had known that after seeing him yesterday, but standing this close did nothing to dull the fierceness of her want for him. If anything she was more enchanted than before, having the benefit of his hands on her and the most alluring scent that seemed to cling to him wafting over her. His whole energy was this fascinating thing, sending little bits of shock coursing through her system. Her heart beat out in a frantic rhythm, but weirdly she felt more settled than she had all day, as if her body was taking comfort in all this awareness that she’d never experienced before. 

“Are you all right, love?” 

His words melted into her as she luxuriated in the gravely tone and that subtle lilt Anna had mentioned. It was intoxicating to be so close to him, and Emma was so wrapped up in it, she hardly knew how to form words to respond. In fact she forgot to do so until he repeated the question.

“Yeah sorry,” she said, wetting her lips and pulling his eyes to her mouth in the process. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“Do you make a habit of such accidents?” Killian asked, his blue eyes shining with a playfulness that threw her for a loop. Was he flirting with her right now? Emma found herself wishing that he was even as she stepped back out of his hold. It wasn’t polite to stand there cuddled in his embrace, but already she missed the feeling of his skin on hers.

“No. I mean not really. Not more than other people anyway. I mean sometimes there are hiccups at the clinic when the animals get checked in and… you know what, I’m babbling. I’ll shut up now.”

“Don’t stop on my account,” he replied, sounding genuinely interested in hearing whatever inane word vomit had been close to getting out seconds before. 

“You’re Killian, right?” Emma asked, unable to help herself even though she was making it abundantly clear that she’d been talking about him.

“News travels fast in small towns,” he said, as if he knew first hand the dynamic of small villages like Storybrooke. 

“You could say that. I’m Emma by the way.”

“I know,” he replied honestly, surprising her completely. 

She must have shown the shock on her face because his smile grew wider in return, sending her heart fluttering again like she was some silly schoolgirl. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask how he’d already picked up that little piece of info, but just as she was about to Killian shook his head and muttered something like ‘damn interruptions.’ She was perplexed for half a second before the library door swung open and Belle appeared.

“There you are! I was starting to wonder if you’d be getting here today,” Belle’s eyes shone with delight at Emma’s visit, but when she spotted Killian they went wide and Emma could see her regret. “Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Belle this is Killian, Killian this is Belle. Belle’s the town librarian and Killian is…”

“Whatever you want me to be, love,” he replied, looking only at Emma and lacing his words with a delicious insinuation that she felt down to her core. It was without a doubt the sexiest thing a man had ever said to her and Emma was speechless in the face of it. After a few moments of fantasizing about what exactly she wanted from him, Emma tore her gaze from his. She felt the flush hit her cheeks as she looked at Belle who was a bit more composed but also totally amazed at the interaction. “Now, if you ladies will excuse me, I’ll leave you to it and be on my way. It was good meeting you, Belle.” 

“You too,” Belle replied.

_And me?_ Emma thought to herself, but the look on Killian’s face told her that she might have just blurted that mortifying question out loud.

“There are no words, Emma,” he assured her as he took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. It was a totally unexpected move. Both torturously tame and incredibly hot. “I’ll see you soon, love.” 

With those final words he walked away, looking far too good for Emma’s sanity and making her wish there hadn’t been an interruption. She could only imagine where that would have gone if they’d had more time together. She had a hundred different questions and this indescribable need to just be close to him, but alas, now was not the time. She had things that needed doing, and by the look of the expression on Belle’s face she had a bit of explaining to do too. Before she did though, she wanted to be sure of something.

“That just happened, right? I didn’t dream that up?” 

“Oh honey, that _definitely_ just happened, and by the looks of it, it’ll probably happen again too.”

_One can only hope._  

**_Post-Note: When I was first asked to do CSSNS a few months back, my immediate thought was that this had to be a shifter story because every one I have ever read has the love at first sight, true-love element that I just LOVE writing for CS. Because it’s Once though, I also had to have the interruptive elements. That show was constantly making these two wait, and while I’ve done that (and will do it a few more times in this story), rest assured that there will be a big, beautiful pay off. Anyway I hope that you guys enjoyed seeing Emma’s POV and getting some of her back story. Let me know what you think and as always I hope you have a great rest of your day!!_ **


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: All right friends so this is another chapter that has a hard flashback, and honestly, since it’s from Killian’s past, it’s going to be more difficult for some of you than last chapter. For my most lighthearted readers, I want to give you the chance to avoid it because there is a lot of emotion, and mentions of violence. I didn’t tag it as graphic violence because it’s not super descriptive, but just want to warn people as it might be triggering. The flashback scene is in italics (though I also use italics in the scene after because there is a phone call). You can skip the flashback if you so choose and just ask me for the reader’s digest version (as some of you did last week) and then take comfort in the fluff that comes out after. For the rest of you who like the angst, or who torture yourselves with it already outside of my stories, I hope you will enjoy. That being said I appreciate you all so much for reading and I would love to hear what you guys think!_ **

Pacing through the yard that surrounded his cabin in the woods, Killian couldn’t help but feel like all control was slipping away from him.

Since the moment he’d first seen Emma, there was an undeniable spark and a sudden awareness he was not used to. Never in his life had he reacted like this to someone, but despite the deeper instincts that told him that she was his true mate, it took really meeting her and feeling her skin against his to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that they were meant to be.

In any other situation, a shifter would be joyous on this day. To find one’s true mate was a gift that nature itself brought every shifter soul. Finding one’s other half was fated, written into the very fabric of a shifter’s being. As such, there were few in their community who went through life without eventually finding their someone. But Killian was a lone wolf now, and he’d put aside any ideas of a life with a partner to love and protect. He’d grown confortable in the solitude and he was well acquainted with the silence. Even in moments of weakness, when he’d felt how lonely his life had truly become, Killian never imagined this would be his destiny. He never could have conceived of this; that the girl he crossed paths with all those years ago – the girl he still thought of more than he should – would find her way back to him and that she would be the one.

For one thing, Emma was a human and that presented huge problems, the biggest being that this pull he felt and this intrinsic knowledge that she was the one might not be reciprocated. Killian wasn’t sure what Emma was feeling. Sure he saw that their attraction was mutual, and he could scent her desire when she’d been nestled in his arms yesterday, but he could hardly believe that he mattered as much to her as she did to him. Being his true mate meant that Emma was now his whole world, the best part of his life, the happiness shifters were promised and that he couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to have.

Even if Emma felt that way in return, those feelings would likely scare her senseless. Humans, after all, had no such fated customs. Oh they had concepts of ‘true love’ or ‘love at first sight,’ and of course they had well matched pairs who undoubtedly belonged together, but it wasn’t the same. The ties that bound shifter mates were unbreakable, the bond so strong it could _never_ fade away. When mates came together as one it was a literal infusion of two souls. It was more than love in so many ways, and Killian was slightly terrified he’d give away all that emotion if he were to see her again.

Normally there would be no question of whether a shifter would seek out their destined pair, but for Killian things were different. Despite the fact that there was no denying Emma was his, Killian didn’t know if it was right to pursue her. His wolf was determined that there would be no life worth having without Emma in it, and in his heart Killian felt the same, but rationally he had to think this through. He hardly lived a life of constant safety. There was a reason he moved every few months and that he looked over his shoulder more than the average person. Was it right to bring someone into that? Yes, she was his mate, but would she want to be? If Emma had free will, if she wasn’t bogged down with the instinct that told them to be together, would Emma choose him? Could he even ask her to? 

Unconsciously his hand rose to touch the space upon his chest where Emma had first collided with him yesterday, and though it was covered with the thin cotton of his well worn t-shirt, Killian knew what lay beneath. There was a mark there now, a swirled kind of insignia – the one that represented his shifter bloodline. It was an ancient symbol that might appear to be a tan tattoo to the untrained eye, and it was just more proof that Killian and Emma belonged together. Somewhere on her body Emma would have a similar shape where his hands first touched her, and Killian had spent all the moments of the morning when he wasn’t battling with himself trying to think of where he’d left it. It all happened so fast that he couldn’t be sure. The only thing he knew for certain was that he had a deep seeded need to see it again and to mark her more in other ways.

Wherever his imprint had landed, Emma’s mark on him was even more significant than it otherwise would have been. It was remarkable that she was his one and that she’d left a part of her with him to be sure, but in the process she’d also ended up healing a very old scar, one left as a bitter memory of the worst night of his life…

_“Oi, you fuckin wankers! Get off the bloody street!”_

_The yell from an older bloke out his window into the busy London night might have been offensive to anyone else, but Killian took comfort in the grumpy, caustic ways of some of his fellow neighbors. It was a lost cause to be yelling at any passersby right now. The rugby match against Liverpool had let out only a few hours before and there were hours yet to be spent at the pubs for the fans. A loss might have garnered the people in this borough a quieter night, but as it was there was celebration to be had, and, as such, very little quiet._

_“Well good evening to you too, mate,” Liam joked loud enough for the man to hear, pulling a laugh from Killian. “God we live among a load of batty people. Think it’s a human thing?”_

_Killian shrugged as he continued to chuckle at Liam’s feigned censure. It wasn’t a very common thing for Liam to give in to a good mood, but tonight Killian had enjoyed watching his brother relax. Liam worked too hard trying to help their Mum and Killian, and finally, after months of not giving himself any kind of break, their mother had had enough. She’d hemmed and hawed about how Liam was twenty-four years old. He should be out in the world, enjoying his life, making mistakes and learning from them, but that wasn’t Liam’s style. Killian knew it had already taken a lot for Liam just to go to one rugby game, and he didn’t imagine there would be more of such excursions anytime soon._

_“Mum’s going to be disappointed, you know,” Killian said as they left the busier area of the bar district and headed back towards home. “I think she was half hoping you’d get me drunk and we’d roll in at four in the morning.”_

_“That was never going to happen,” Liam stated resolutely and Killian sighed, shaking his head._

_“Of course not brother, because heaven forbid you break a rule.”_

_Killian wished those words had been more clearly said in jest than how he relayed them. It was true that Liam was more uptight than most people – many had even gone so far as to call him stuffy and repressed – but even if he didn’t like it, Killian knew there was a reason. Ten years had passed since they left their old life behind, but for Liam the memories of the existence they once led were far stronger than they were for Killian. All the same, Killian just didn’t understand why Liam allowed himself to be so affected. There had been no sign of their father or fellow pack-mates since they left, and they’d done everything magically possible to block the pack bond that would allow their father to track them, but Liam was still ever-vigilant. He took the protector role so seriously, and in every other aspect of his life he held himself to the same high standard. It was admirable, but honestly it was also exhausting and a bit alienating. It was difficult for Killian to feel truly close to Liam because of it, and Killian had often felt like he lacked the honor Liam embodied because following the letter of the law didn’t come so naturally to him._

_“Rules exist for a reason, Killian. You’d -,”_

_“Do well to remember that, I know I know,” Killian said on an exhale. It wasn’t worth getting into a row with Liam about it. They just saw the world differently, that was what Mum always said. She also said that was perfectly okay – the world needed differences of opinion, and their family was better for having them._

_“Things will change for you in a few months. When your first phase comes, you’ll understand the gravity of the situation. With secrets like the ones we carry, rules become a blessing.”_

_Liam had been feeding Killian the same line since Killian was thirteen and first started rebelling against some of the expectations in his life. On the first full moon after his eighteenth birthday, he would make the final connection with his wolf and he’d be able to shift for the first time. When that happened, Liam believed Killian’s restlessness would fade and his temperament would grow milder, but Killian doubted that. He’d been dreaming of the day he’d finally come of age since he was old enough to understand what he was. He couldn’t wait to roam – to run free as the animal within. When that day came he wouldn’t crave restriction and guidelines as his brother seemed to think. He would finally know what it was to live, and he wouldn’t limit himself, not for one damn moment._

_“If you say so, broth-,”_

_Before Killian could get the word out, Liam’s arm shot out in a signal for Killian to stop and go quiet. This was something his brother had done hundreds of times in their youth, but there had never been reason for it since they came to England. The sense of foreboding that crept over Killian was sharp and uneasy, and then he caught the scent – another shifter was nearby, and the smell was sickeningly familiar. Their father was here – he’d found them._

_“Mum,” Killian whispered and before Liam could stop him he broke into a sprint, running the rest of the way to their home. He’d never moved so quickly in his life but his body wasn’t his own. When he made it to the house his heart dropped – the front door was broken open but the lights were all out. Killian’s blood ran cold but he stepped forward only to have Liam hold him back._

_“Killian, no. You stay behind me. You understand?”_

_Killian must have given some indication that he would listen as Liam led the way, and as they moved into their once safe and serene home, Killian felt like he was walking through a nightmare. The house was trashed, with no corner left untarnished. It was obvious that no human had done this and evidence of animal activity was all over the place. Claw marks bore into the walls, bite marks marred furniture and trinkets along the way, and their mother’s delicate, pastel décor lay broken and shattered on the floor._

_The further inside that they moved, the more Killian’s dread increased. The house was still now. There was no sound, no sensible living presence anywhere that he could sense, so by the time they made it to the kitchen and found the scene of their father’s final crime, Killian was devastated but not exactly surprised._

_Things from there were simultaneously hazy and crystal clear. One second grief washed over him and just as quickly he felt like he was being ripped apart at the seems. Somehow the trauma of what awaited them detonated Killian’s shifter instinct before it was time, and as he crumbled to the ground he transformed from boy to wolf. Once in that state his mind was wracked with the sharpest sense of pain and this all-consuming fear. He was completely out of control and all he could think was that he had to run. He had to get out of there. He’d find his father and he’d kill him for killing her. But before Killian could make it much farther than the front door he was tackled to the ground by another wolf._

Killian, you have to stop! _his brother pushed in his mind, but Killian didn’t know how. He felt totally consumed by his animal and he had no idea how to do this. Liam had only told him the most rudimentary things about shifting, he hadn’t even really started his preparations and he had no ability to tame the instincts that were driving his world right now._ You’ll expose us if you keep going!

_Killian didn’t give a damn if the whole bloody world knew what he was. What did that matter when their mother was gone? What did anything matter? All that mattered was avenging her death. She couldn’t die without justice. She couldn’t have been hurt that way and their father go free, but where Killian had an unyielding need to fight, Liam was still stronger._

I don’t want to hurt you, Killian, _Liam said at one point when the fight was already lost. Liam held Killian down in a stance where he couldn’t break free, but still Killian struggled. He fought and he fought, and just as he was about to let out a howl of pure frustration Liam’s paws dug in further. His claws pierced skin where they lay just above his lungs and Killian let out a low whine. The physical pain was terrible, but it was the only thing that proved enough to break the spell he was under. One second he was a wolf and the next he was back to himself, though his chest was bleeding from where Liam had punctured skin._

_“I’m sorry,” Liam said, his face white as a sheet after he shifted back. He’d looked shell-shocked when they found their Mum, but now he was even more disturbed. “I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I –,”_

_“She’s gone,” Killian whispered, ignoring his brother and the blood that spilled from his wound. “She’s dead. He … he killed her.”_

_“Killian, we have to clean you up. You’re in shock right now but I hurt you badly.”_

_“We have to kill him,” Killian said, ignoring Liam’s point. “You know that don’t you? He has to die for this.”_

_“Killian -,”_

_“I’m going to kill him, Liam!” Killian yelled, the mania of the moment having not faded in the slightest. “I’m going to kill him for taking her like this. I don’t care about your rules – I don’t care about pack law – I’m going to find him and I’m going to end him.”_

_“We both will,” Liam whispered, and though the promise was soft, Killian knew it was honest. “But not tonight, Killian.”_

_“But we have to -,” Before Killian could continue Liam interrupted, his voice stronger now and his tone absolute._

_“You want to take on our father, brother? You need to learn how. He’s the alpha of the strongest pack in the Americas and he didn’t get that way by luck. He’s animal first, barely a man anymore, and he’s got skills you couldn’t dream of yet. I promise you you’ll get your revenge, but I won’t lead you to your own slaughter. We wait until we know we can beat him, and in the meantime we run. We have to go before he decides to come back and finish the job.” …  
_

The shrill sound of a ringing phone pulled Killian from the memory, and it took him a minute to realize the phone was his. It should have been obvious since he was out here in the woods alone, but he used the damn thing so infrequently that he never got quite used to it. There were only two people in the world who had this number, and as he accepted the call Killian already knew which one would be calling. 

“What’s going on, Ruby?” he asked, hoping in spite of himself that his cousin wouldn’t hear the lingering shakiness the memory left behind.

_“What’s going on? Seriously, you’re asking me that? You’re the one who found your true mate, Killian! When were you going to tell me?!”_

Killian sighed as the fingers of his left hand came to rub at his temples. He loved Ruby as his cousin and his best friend since they were young, but her gifts always seemed to show up when he was least in the mood for them. Without fail Ruby knew when something big was going on with Killian, because that was what happened when your cousin had a father who was shifter and a mother who was a witch – you ended up being the focus of her prophetic, wolfy powers. Usually it was a mild annoyance, but today her added response to the new twist in Killian’s life wasn’t exactly ideal.

“Clearly I didn’t need to.”

_“Ugh, Killian! Just because I have visions sometimes does not mean you don’t call me when important stuff happens. You know I’ve waited a whole week for you to call -,”_

“A week?” Killian asked, surprised. “I only met her two days ago. You knew I was going to find Emma and _you_ didn’t tell _me_?”

_“Well of course I didn’t tell you. If I did you never would have gone to her. I couldn’t risk that. I mean you’re already questioning it as is, can you imagine if you knew before hand?”_

“I never would have come,” Killian confessed, a sense of shame rising in his chest as he did. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but if given the choice back before he’d actually seen Emma again, Killian would have avoided attachment at all cost. Now though he felt sick at even the idea of having never found Emma. Even if he dreaded the darkness he could bring into her life, Killian knew he wanted her and that he always would. 

_“Exactly. And we couldn’t have that. She’s your perfect match – your_ mate _. You, Mr. ‘I can’t have anyone, I have to go it alone’ have a mate! It’s like a freaking miracle! I swear Granny almost passed out from joy when I told her."_

“She’s human,” Killian said, his mind wandering back over that complication. He’d never heard of any shifter with a human mate. It simply didn’t happen.

_“She is?”_ Ruby asked, surprised. _“Huh, I didn’t get that in the vision.”_

“Well she is,” Killian said, his heart hammering in his chest just at the thought of Emma’s status. As a human she was weaker, more vulnerable. It scared the shit out of him, and his animal was anxious to go find her again and make sure she was safe. Still he remained where he was, fighting off the urge. 

_“And you’re what? Disappointed? Seriously?! Who gives a shit if she’s human? She’s your mate!”_

Killian remained quiet at Ruby’s outburst. He understood her reaction, really he did. It was something that merited celebration instead of fear. Finding his mate should make him the happiest shifter alive right now, but where he felt that sense of freedom and completion at having found her, he also felt the weight of the unknown. This wasn’t a black and white, cut and dry situation. It had to be handled with care, and he needed to keep his wits about him, as hard as that was.

_“Okay, that was bad. I shouldn’t be yelling. You’re anxious about it I get it, and I didn’t call to make things worse,”_ Ruby asserted, completely undermining everything she’d done since he answered the phone. 

“Really? That’s surprising,” Killian responded. Ruby sighed loudly.

_“No. Despite what you think, Killy, I called to help you.”_ Ruby’s use of his nickname when he was just a boy showed the depths of her care for him. All criticism aside, Ruby was very clearly on his team and only wanted the best for him, even if she was more than a little pushy. _“I thought you should know that I’ve seen what’s coming.”_

“And you’re actually going to tell me what you saw?” Killian asked, curious as to what would prompt Ruby to do that. Usually she was guarded about the glimpses she had into the future, especially distant happenings. For her to confide in Killian was a break from the norm.

_“Not everything,”_ Ruby replied. _“But enough so that you know that there is no choice here. You and Emma belong together. In every version of the future I’ve seen it’s you two together in the end. Even if you run right now, the two of you will find your way back to each other, so you might as well just stay and spare yourselves the heartache.”_  

“You’re serious?” Killian asked, the hope in his voice ringing out clear as day. To hear this assurance from Ruby was a balm he’d so desperately needed, and knowing that no matter what they’d find their way to each other meant that Killian felt free to choose her now even if it didn’t feel fair to burden her with the baggage of his past.

_“Mhmm. You’ve found yourself a pretty determined mate, Killian. She’s gonna give you a run for your money.”_

_She already has,_ Killian thought to himself, or so he believed. He took it from Ruby’s giggle through the phone that maybe he had actually said those words aloud.

_“I can hardly wait for all of this to happen. I haven’t been to a wedding in… well, ever really, and I get to be an Auntie! Well technically a second cousin, but we’re gonna call me an aunt. And there’s going to be a lot of little ones, so -,”_  

The vision of his future life that Ruby painted stole Killian’s breath away for a moment. He couldn’t put into words just how sweet a dream it was. To think that he and Emma would find all that together brought him hope he’d long since lost. He wanted nothing more in the world than to call her his wife and to cement the bond that mating would provide, even if they knew so little about each other right now. Time would no doubt strengthen this feeling that she was the one, so to think of them sealing their union and starting a family together filled him with a sense of need and want that threatened to wear down all his self-control. But he had to get a grip on himself and on Ruby before she pushed him right over the edge.

“All right Ruby, I get your point. Just… give me some time. Please.”

_“You can take all the time you need,”_ Ruby said happily, knowing that she’d won and he would now stay and try to make things work with Emma. _“Just remember, every moment that you wait is one you won’t get back.”_

Confident that she’d done her job and pushed Killian back on the path towards his true mate, Ruby said that she had to go and get back to Granny. Killian asked her to say hi for him, and Ruby promised she would, also informing him that she’d be in touch again soon. But as he put the phone away and he moved back outside, Killian’s mind was stuck on that final insight from Ruby about time and the risk of wasting it. Right now he was hesitating about which path to follow towards the future that he wanted, but in doing so he was denying himself precious moments with Emma. He knew that seeing her would make him happy and that being in her light, even if just for a moment, would be worth anything in the world. So why was he still here, wasting away the day when he could be with her, trying to make her see him as he saw her?

With that guiding thought in mind, Killian set out from the cabin and turned on the senses he’d tried dulling through the day. The best part of knowing his mate’s scent now was that tracking her was easy, but with Emma he hardly knew what to expect. He was aware that thanks to her many friends and close-knit family that it was very likely she’d be with other people, making his approach that much harder, but he hoped that somehow he’d time things right to find her alone. He’d take Emma anyway he could get her, but the idea of them having a moment to themselves prompted a swirling sense of rightness in his heart, the one that felt an awful lot like happiness, something he’d gone without for quite a while.

Making his way through town, the faces that passed him were a blur. Everyone was kind, everyone greeted him with a friendly ‘hello’ or ‘how ya doin?’ and Killian did his best to reciprocate, but he couldn’t linger. He couldn’t bear the thought of spending his time mingling, not when he knew he was getting closer and closer to his Emma. By the time he’d made it to the little park where she was, his whole body hummed with anticipation. Then the moment came where he spotted her on an ivory colored bench under a massive willow tree, lost in the pages of a book, and it felt like he’d transcended to a whole new kind of heaven.

Seeing her sitting there, bathed in summer sunlight as her golden hair cascaded over her shoulder, Killian felt like he was seeing Emma for the first time all over again. The intensity of emotion that washed over him just being this close was amazing. It never stopped feeling like the world was alive because of her, and like he was finally awake enough to feel it when he was in her presence once again.

It struck Killian as unbelievable that he’d been able to go on this long without her. Obviously she’d been too young for his wolf to know they were destined for each other back in Boston, but since finding her again he felt the weight of their separation ferociously. Despite what he’d said to Ruby before, about not coming back if he’d known he’d find his mate, Killian knew that choice would have come from pure ignorance. Before arriving in Storybrooke he could never have conceived of someone like Emma, for to know her was to love her and to want her happiness more than anything else in the world. 

As if she sensed him staring at her, Emma’s eyes moved up from where they’d been taking in the words upon the pages of her book and immediately found him. The high he felt as she looked at him was heady, but it was made even more powerful when he saw the reaction his appearance prompted. Excitement overcame her, her smile was genuine even if it was shy, and Killian could hear the increase of her heartbeat from here, tapping out the same frenzied, frantic pace that his danced anytime she was near. Every part of her reaction called out to him, and as if he was compelled to move forward, he closed the distance between them until he was right beside her.

“Hey,” she greeted, somehow walking the fine line between cool and collected and slightly timid at the same time. 

“Good morning, love. I hope I’m not disturbing you.” Killian tilted his head, motioning towards her book, which he realized was a copy of _The Princess Bride_.

“No, not at all,” Emma said, motioning for him to sit down. “I’ve read this book a hundred times already.”

“I saw the movie when I was just a lad,” Killian replied with a smile as he took a seat beside her, leaving only an inch between them. Their air around them crackled with energy, and though it was cool for a summer day, Killian felt his temperature rise at his closeness to Emma. “Never got around to reading the book. How do they stack up?” 

“They are both brilliant, but I think I like the book the best. Thus the constant rereads.” 

“And the bookmark.”

Emma looked down at the marker for her page and a beautiful shade of pink tinted her cheeks. It fascinated Killian to watch for multiple reasons, none more so than the fact that this blush didn’t come from embarrassment. There was nothing to be ashamed about in having a bookmark covered in buttercups, and when she looked back up at him he saw the truth in her eyes. Her flush had come from interest in him and from pleasure. She liked that he knew this tiny detail of her favorite story, and Killian swore to himself right then and there that he’d learn everything that made Emma similarly happy so he could see this look for the rest of his days.

“What can I say? When I like something I go all in.”

“No half-assing it for you, love?”

“Never,” Emma replied with a laugh.

Killian grinned at the easy conversation and the humor in Emma’s voice. She was so exuberant, so full of a light that was infectious, and Killian didn’t think it had anything to do with the fact that they were true mates. This feeling of goodness and serenity was all Emma. Her brilliancy and brightness was organically of her making, and he wanted to revel in it as long as he could. The only problem was Killian had fast become tongue tied, and though he had a million things he’d like to ask her, no words would form.

“You know I was hoping I would see you today,” Emma confessed, not seeming to be bothered by his lack of ability to add more to their conversation. Her admission shocked and delighted him.

“That feeling is entirely mutual, Emma. In fact it’s the reason I’m here.”

“You mean to tell me that you braved town just for me?” Emma asked, teasing him even as her thoughtful green eyes told him she was desperate to know the answer. Instinctively he reached for her hand, taking it in his and the rush that came when their skin made contact almost drove all coherent thoughts from his mind. Nevertheless he pressed on.

“Aye, love, and I would do far more for a moment in your company.”

A minute passed between them, charged with all these words they both left unsaid. Instead his thumb grazed across her wrist and their eyes held. It was the sweetest form of torture, having Emma so close and knowing what this was between them but not being able to act. He had to keep his instincts to go faster tamped down and let Emma lead the way. It was the only way this would ever work.

“It’s the craziest thing…” Emma said as she blinked and shook her head, looking back out to the park for a few seconds before she returned his gaze. “I feel like I know you already but we’ve only just met.” 

Her words were intoxicating to Killian as they symbolized that Emma was feeling the same pull between them. She didn’t know what it meant, of course, but it was glorious to hear her put the feelings they shared in such a way. Her bravery astounded him. That she would be so giving and so honest was amazing to him, but he had to be wary of saying too much. If he allowed himself to confess all that he felt she’d likely call him a mad man, or worse, run from him, neither of which he could ever survive.

“Sometimes that’s how it goes,” Killian said lightly. “Or so I’ve been told. I’ve never felt that way myself. Not until you.”

Emma’s smile told him that he’d made the right choice in the end, and he was damn proud that he could bring her any kind of joy. It felt like he was king of the whole bloody world, and he was so drunk off of the pleasure of the moment he failed to notice that they were no longer alone. Despite his usually unbeatable awareness of his surroundings, it took a few seconds for Killian to realize that there were two women standing across the park and watching them closely. He recognized them from his walking about town yesterday, and he believed they were friends of Emma’s. That suspicion was then confirmed when Emma followed his gaze and spied them herself.

“Oh crap. I’m never gonna hear the end of this,” Emma said with a sigh, and though Killian wanted nothing more than to ease her burdens, he knew stepping in would only make things worse.

“Friends of yours?” Killian asked as he reluctantly pulled his hand back from hers, already missing the connection between them.

“The best. But they’ve got that look – I better go talk to them,” Emma said as she grabbed the bag that was at her side and stood up. Killian did the same, wanting to prolong the moment as long as he could. His mind grappled with a way to keep her longer or to secure another time for him to see her as soon as possible. But before he could find an answer, Emma offered one of her own.

“Do you like coffee?” she blurted out, and though it was an innocent question Killian could tell Emma hadn’t actually meant to say it aloud.

“I do,” he responded, intrigued at where this conversation was now going. 

“Well the town diner has really good coffee, surprisingly enough. It’s nothing fancy, but…”

“But the best coffee rarely is,” Killian finished and Emma nodded. She looked suddenly flustered, as if she was embarrassed by the fact that she’d been about to ask him on a date. Her eyes flittered between him and her friends in a show of her growing nerves, so Killian stepped in to fill the role he’d been wanting to take on since he found her here. “The thing with coffee though, is it’s all about timing. I defer to your expertise, love. What’s the best time for a coffee in Storybrooke?” 

“Eight fifteen,” Emma said with a relieved smile, before she clarified. “In the morning. Not at night.” 

“Right then. Well I suppose since we’re both in the know that I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, love.” 

“Good,” Emma replied, her lips curling up in a beatific smile that made his heart ache to take her in his arms and whisk her away, friends be damned. Instead though he stayed as he was and watched as she departed with a final goodbye. “See you tomorrow, Killian.”

“Aye. I’ll see you then.”

**_Post-Note: Hey all – so hopefully you’re still with me and enjoying the story. I know that the flashbacks have been hard, with Emma and Killian both having really difficult moments in their pasts but the backstory actually is important to the present story for CS and the rest of this AU where things from the past will come back at different points. That being said, I’ve promised fluff and I hope that I have delivered. We’ve got a good dose of insta-love and pining here, and though there are interruptions (god I hate those pesky friends sometimes!) it’s that same kind of cuteness I love to write in all my fics. Hope that you guys enjoyed and have a great rest of your weekend!_ **

 


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: Hey everyone! I am back with the newest chapter of ‘Lost Souls and Reveries’ and we are picking up on Emma’s POV. I’m excited for this chapter because it introduces more important pieces to the puzzle of this fic while also giving me lots of CS feels. We get the introduction of a new character, and luckily less angst than there has been in the past few installments. That being said I hope that you guys enjoy and thank you so much for reading!_ **

“Okay, it’s official. I, Emma Nolan, am a walking, talking cliché.”

As she muttered the words aloud, Emma shook her head, taking in the scene before her. Her bedroom was currently a mess – which was very atypical – and the reason for the massive display of untidiness was the same one that had caused similar chaos the past three mornings. In a matter of minutes she would leave her apartment and head for the diner. Only now her once regular routine included a companion, one who was sinfully attractive and who Emma couldn’t seem to get enough of.

The mere thought of seeing Killian was enough to send another flutter of apprehension through her, and her hand came over her stomach resting where the tumult was most obvious. She wondered if these butterflies would ever go away, but she had a feeling they were here to stay. Emma had known Killian nearly a week at this point, but still this nervous and elated energy swirled around inside of her. People might call this a crush normally, but Emma felt like the word wasn’t right. A ‘crush’ insinuated that attraction was frivolous or fleeting, but Emma felt like her pull to Killian was neither of those things. For whatever reason she felt intrinsically connected to this man. Day in and day out her mind always seemed to wander back to him, and at night it was even worse. There was no reprieve even in her dreams from this sudden fixation, and it felt like a battle day in and day out to keep up the appearance that everything was normal.

All of this emotion was so big and so consuming that Emma assumed Killian must know on some level how she felt. She never tried to hide her interest in him, and she’d actually flirted with this man more than she’d ever flirted with anyone, but still he played it slow. She didn’t understand why that was, especially since every look he sent her way was practically dripping in heat. Waves of wanting poured off the man, and there had been little touches and the sweetest words he’d also sent her way that made Emma dizzy. But every time she thought he’d make a move he would pull back, leaving Emma remiss and wondering why he hadn’t gone there. Yesterday she’d even thought that he might kiss her, and the thought had her whole body buzzing with need, but at the last moment he’d bid her farewell and they’d gone their separate ways.

_“Maybe he’s old fashioned,”_ Anna had offered as possible explanation when she and Elsa came to Emma’s place for pizza last night. _“Maybe he looks like all roughish and wild, but he’s really a secret gentleman. You can’t judge a book by its cover, you know.”_

_“Maybe,”_ Elsa conceded. _“But I think he’s trying to give you control. He’s letting you set the pace, letting you make the choice of what happens between you.”_

Emma had thought about her friends’ opinions extensively last night, and she still didn’t know what the answer was. Anna’s point about Killian being a gentleman was so far correct, but for all his politeness and charm Emma could sense the intensity he carried internally. It was one of the reasons her mind had been wandering to much dirtier places than it usually did. There was something about Killian that he was holding back, and Emma could sense that if they ever got to a point where he let go, ‘gentlemanly’ wouldn’t be the descriptor of choice for his temperament. Elsa, in turn, seemed to be on the right track, but the problem with that argument was that Emma was already being as blunt as she ever thought she’d have to be. Short of asking him out (again!), what could she do to show him that she was ready?

She tried to brainstorm a solution through the course of the morning, and by the time she reached the diner she’d decided the only thing to do was go on instinct. But when she opened the door and found Killian was already there and waiting with her favorite coffee order in hand, her plan immediately changed. Right now her instincts were screaming out for her to pull him close and kiss him. She imagined the moment vividly, knowing that it would only take a second for Killian to take over the kiss that she’d start. He’d hold her close, tasting her and taking her and driving her crazy and then…

“It’s a hot one out there today, huh?” one of the servers, Glinda, asked Emma. The question pulled Emma from her not-so-safe-for-public reverie. 

“Uh, it’s not that bad actually,” Emma replied, knowing that despite the sunshine, her jeans would be fine both for the house calls she had lined up today and for her hours at the clinic later. Then she realized Glinda was trying to help her out of the mini-daydream she stepped into and she smiled. “But you never know. Things could heat up.”

“Oh, they’ll heat up all right,” Glinda said before going back about her work as Emma headed over to Killian. In the few seconds it took to get to him, Emma schooled her features and tried to get her thoughts in order. 

“Good morning,” Emma said with a smile as she nodded her head towards the coffee in her hand. “Is that coffee up for grabs?”

“No, love. It’s entirely yours,” he said as he handed it to her, their fingers grazing each other’s just barely but still sending a flare of awareness coursing through her. 

“I know,” she said with a soft chuckle as his eyes lit up with humor. “It just seems rude to assume.” 

“Aye, I understand. It’s why I’m not sitting yet. I know you’ve a full day ahead of you…”

“But you also know by now that I can never turn down pancakes,” Emma concluded as she led him to what had quickly become their booth. 

Taking her seat, Emma experienced the same gleeful feeling that this was exactly where she needed to be. For the first time in her life, Storybrooke felt like more than home. It felt complete, and she felt invigorated even in her sleepy, seaside town. The usual antics of the diner and its customers were made all the better because she got to share them with Killian, and by the time Glinda had brought over their ‘usual’ Emma could no longer contain herself. She dug into her meal, moaning at how good it all was and wondering how it was possible that food she’d been eating her whole life could taste so radically new and different and sublime.

Yet while Emma was innocently enjoying her pancakes, her enjoyment had drawn a wildly different response from Killian. She felt the shift as soon as she made the sound of approval, but when she opened her eyes again he was staring at her like a starving man. The lust in his eyes shone through as a deeper, darker blue, and those gold flecks she’d noticed before glimmered ever so slightly. His jaw was hard set, and she watched the tension in his neck that tightened and released. He seemed bigger somehow, and he’d certainly moved closer to her, but it wasn’t close enough. The table still divided them, and Emma knew even as she fell under the dizzying spell of wanting him, that that was for the best. Right now they were surrounded by other citizens of Storybrooke, and so the fantasies that simple pancakes had just inspired on both of their parts had to go un-acted on.

“Sorry,” she said with a shrug as she broke eye contact and looked back down at her lap. “I just really love pancakes.”

With no words of warning, Emma felt Killian reach for her hand and take it in his. His hold was intimate but firm, and Emma’s eyes shifted to the action, taking in where they were connected for a few seconds before she looked back to Killian. In his eyes she still saw the same raw emotion, but his voice came out gentler and more earnest than she expected.

“There’s no reason to be sorry, Emma. Every moment I spend with you is one I cherish.”

Emma exhaled at his promise and the boldness of the words. She knew instinctively that the claim was completely honest, and she couldn’t hold back her happiness at that. She wanted to tell him that she felt exactly the same way, and that even though it was fast she already felt like they belonged together, like she’d finally found her missing piece, but this wasn’t the place. So instead she chose to go with humor instead of a confession neither of them was really ready for.

“Even the ones where I lose it over pancakes?”

“Especially those,” he said, his voice a throaty growl that made Emma’s thighs clench together automatically. God, this man was sexy, and when he looked at her like this Emma felt like she was the most important person in the world, and that maybe, just maybe, he saw her as alluring and desirable as she felt he was.

Emma was so caught up in Killian and this moment of connection that she didn’t notice the bell above the diner door ringing or the entrance of a new long-time diner patron. But where Emma was oblivious, Killian immediately perked up, and not in a good way. Before Emma could process anything, he withdrew his hand from hers as his body tensed to the closest thing that was fight ready while still sitting in a booth. For a few seconds Emma stared at Killian, taking in the drastic change in his attitude, and Emma couldn’t understand the worry and anger etched so clearly on his face. Then she turned to find the sheriff, Graham Humbert, and Emma was even more surprised. Everyone liked Sheriff Graham. He was one of the nicest, most welcoming people in all of Storybrooke, but looking at the sheriff’s face right now, Emma realized that Graham also looked anything but friendly.

“This guy bothering you, Emma?” Graham asked. His voice was low and almost menacing in a way Emma had never heard before. She shook her head immediately before looking back at Killian.

“No, Graham this is Killian. He just moved into Mrs. Hubbard’s cottage. Killian this is Sherriff Graham Humbert.”

Emma expected the two of them to shake hands, but neither of them made the move to do so. It was very unlike Graham to be so withholding, and Emma knew from the last few days that it wasn’t typical for Killian either. She’d been with him a number of times when people had come over to introduce themselves, and while it was clear Killian wasn’t used to this kind of small town hospitality, he always put his best foot forward. With Graham though, Killian was engaged in some sort of macho stare-down Emma didn’t understand. The force of it was overwhelming, the charge in the air tangible, but then Graham finally broke eye contact and looked away for a second, making Emma strangely feel proud of Killian even though she was uncomfortable at the same time. 

“I didn’t realize there was a… _sheriff_ here,” Killian said, enunciating Graham’s title with some innuendo that she couldn’t discern. Did he not like the law for some reason? How strange. Emma was puzzled, but she watched in a weird kind of fascination as Graham replied.

“And _I_ didn’t realize we had a new rogue in our midst.”

“Graham,” Emma whispered in a chastising manner. Not because the word rogue was so bad, but still, couldn’t he be a little kinder? She couldn’t seem to count on it despite their being friendly for years, so Emma tried to switch topics. “How did the conference go?”

“Well enough,” Graham said, offering Emma a forced smile before shooting another look at Killian. “And I won’t be going to any more for the foreseeable future.”

“Sheriff Graham, there you are!” a fellow neighbor, who turned out to be Tiana, called. “I heard you were getting back today. Do you think you could help us out? We tried to get that new alarm set up at the office, but we need some sort of code to have the alert go to the station.”

Emma shared a look with Tiana, and the other woman sent her an expression that said she’d been watching from her spot at the counter. She was trying to do Emma a solid, and Emma was so thankful. Whatever was happening between Killian and Graham, it was going completely over her head. There was no reason she could imagine that they would dislike each other, except maybe that Graham was trying to protect her as her friend. Still, why would he think she needed protecting from Killian? He’d done nothing wrong.

After some more hesitation Graham yielded and agreed to go with Tiana, but the flirtatious and enjoyable mood that Killian and Emma had going before had already been tarnished. It made Emma sad that their morning had been crashed like this, but what she really wanted to know was why Killian had acted that way. It didn’t seem like the man she knew would be prone to such displays, but maybe she didn’t know him as well as she thought. Emma grappled with that painful fact as their waitress came round to leave the check and Killian paid the bill, standing and offering his hand to help her up. 

“I’m sorry about all of that, Emma,” he said, addressing her concerns head on and drawing her eyes back up to his when they were outside once again. “Earlier with the sheriff… that was bad form. I wish I had a better explanation, but all I can say is I promise to do better. I’ll talk to him, smooth things over.” 

“You would do that?” Emma asked, taken aback by the offer but touched that he would go to those lengths for her without her even having to ask.

“If it would make you happy.”

“Well he’s my friend,” Emma said, quickly clarifying. “ _Just_ a friend.”

“Is it bad for me to admit I’m glad to hear that?” Killian asked and Emma felt herself blush as she shook her head, not directly answering.

“He’s also the town Sheriff. Graham is a part of Storybrooke, Killian, so if you want to stay here…”

Emma trailed off, not wanting to presume that was his plan because they hadn’t actually discussed how long he was planning to be in town. Perhaps this was just a stop for him in a longer journey elsewhere. Maybe he was only interested in staying the summer and then leaving again, but just the thought of that left Emma aching and more upset than she should be.

“Then I have to make it right,” Killian filled in, insinuating that his residence would in fact be permanent without actually saying the words. “I’ll work on it, Emma. You have my word.” 

Emma smiled at his willingness to do this for her, and she had yet another urge to close the gap between them and kiss him. The craving to do so clawed at her incessantly, but she pushed that urge away since they were standing right there on Main Street in plain view. Even so, Emma didn’t want today to end as the days before had. She didn’t want to say goodbye and have to wait until tomorrow. After their interruption earlier, it just didn’t feel like enough. There needed to be something more. There just had to be, at least that’s what her heart was crying out for.

“Are you free tonight?” Emma asked, enjoying the surprise that Killian made no attempt to hide. She liked it even more when that surprise melted into a warmer, stronger look of need. "It’s trivia night at the Rabbit Hole, and my friends and I usually go if you’re interested…”

“Yes,” Killian said without hesitation and Emma suppressed a laugh at how fast he responded. Realizing how quick he’d been, Killian tilted his head and scratched behind his ear in a move Emma recognized as bashful from their past few interludes together. “I mean, who could turn down trivia?”

“Right,” Emma said with a shake of her head and a low chuckle. “You’re in it for the trivia. Just a big ole trivia junky.”

“No, Emma,” Killian said, taking a step closer and sending her silly thoughts scattering as desire took their place. His hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing the corner of her lips and sending a smooth but rough sensation coursing through her. Then his voice dipped lower as he spoke again, becoming a silky whisper that was soft enough that only she would hear it. “I’m here for _you_. Never doubt that.”

His words felt like a truth so evident that it defied contradiction. The world was round, the sky was blue, and Killian Jones was in Storybrooke for her. These were somehow just facts of her life now, and in a matter of days – really only a few hours spent in each other’s company all together - Killian had become a given. It defied logical explanation, but this voice in the back of her mind was determined that Killian was it for her. He was her person, her perfect match, and he was finally here after a lifetime of waiting.

Emma had long interacted with the idea of ‘soul mates,’ but she was skeptical that they truly existed before now. Even if she’d grown up with parents who embodied partnership and love and commitment, the idea that somebody could fall in love at first sight or that people ‘belonged together’ never quite clicked for her. Those kinds of stories were for Hollywood and fairy tales. In the real world people were just people, and love was something that you fought for and protected but were not promised. Yet with Killian, it felt like this had been a long time coming, as if somehow, someway, the universe had made a promise to see the two of them together.

“So I’ll see you tonight then?” Emma asked eventually, blinking away the haze of her thoughts and hopes and musings. She was unsure of how much time had passed, and she was a little disappointed that this new and tender embrace hadn’t led to a kiss, but she was comforted by the fact that tonight might finally be the moment when she got her wish.

“It’s a date,” he replied with a grin. And as Killian turned and left her there watching after him, Emma wondered if he’d meant it or if it was just a turn of phrase. Either way she couldn’t wait for tonight, and she headed out to her morning house calls practically floating on air.

That feeling of felicity stuck with Emma throughout the day. After a few hours spent hopping all around Storybrooke to tend to some animals who couldn’t make it into the clinic easily (including a stubborn old mule on the MacDonald’s farm, a lovable but feisty outdoor cat that frequented the firehouse, and a fluff-ball made real that belonged to one of Storybrooke’s elderly citizen’s), Emma found herself walking the same familiar streets and heading to the clinic. She was making good time today, and she was happy that none of her patients were in dire condition. Everyone was healthy, or would be that way soon enough, and it was truly days like this that made her love being a vet. 

Strolling into her and her father’s practice, Emma hoped that high note that defined her morning would remain. Right now, though, it was lunchtime, and the clinic was closed for an hour or so as a result. Their receptionist, Jasmine, had taken off for a little bit, but from her father’s office, Emma heard familiar voices. Her mother was here today visiting, and Emma could just picture her parents now, sitting together and enjoying each other’s company. Knowing the two of them they were probably perched on the couch, sharing a meal like it was the most normal thing in the world because it was to them. It made Emma smile to think of it, and she loved the predictability of their bond together. It was a very rare thing for her parents to be upset with each other, but as Emma walked towards the office to greet them, a flash of a memory that was long forgotten crossed her mind.

_“Watch your step, Emma honey. The cleaning crew was here earlier. The floor might be slick.”_

_Emma heeded her mother’s warning as they walked through the clinic tonight. It was past closing time, and no one was here. The waiting room that was usually filled with all sorts of people and animals was quiet and Emma wished they had come here earlier. This place wasn’t nearly as fun without animals to play with, but they had to come and get her Dad so they could go to dinner. He was supposed to be home an hour ago, but he never showed up. Her Mom said he must have had a last minute case, but Emma wondered why he hadn’t called. When her father had to stay late he always called. That was the rule._

_Moving through the hallway, Emma held tight to her mother’s hand. Every room they passed was empty. There were no puppies in the kennels and no kittens who needed a doctor. Things had been slow this winter, at least that was what her father said. The lights were all off too, except for the yellow glow of the back room. That was where her Dad made the animals feel better, and it must be where he was now, but before Emma could run down to see him, her mother pulled her towards the door of the office._

_“Am I not coming with you, Mommy?” Emma asked and her mother shook her head even as she smiled._

_“No, honey, I think it would be better if you wait here. I’m sure everything is fine, but I just want to double check. Can you wait here for five minutes like a good girl? I promise I’ll be right back._

_Emma nodded, never wanting to disappoint her mother even though she was desperate to see her father sooner. Her mother nodded, happy that Emma had agreed and she gave Emma’s head a quick kiss before she walked out to find her Dad. Emma waited for a little bit but then she heard it. A scream. The sound made her jump in her seat and she ran to the doorway, looking down the hallway, but her mother wasn’t there. She must be inside the room with Daddy, but Emma was worried. Why had she screamed? Was she okay?_

_Despite having just promised her mother to stay put, Emma moved down the hallway. She was scared and she didn’t want to be alone. She wanted to make sure her parents were okay, but when she came to the door way and peaked inside she never expected what she saw. It was a huge big cat, and her father was trying to save it._

_“David, you can’t be serious! It’s a_ mountain lion _. A mountain lion! Don’t you realize how dangerous those are?”_

_“Of course I do, Mary Margaret. But he’s hurt. He needs my help.”_

_“David, it’s a wild animal you’re talking about. Not some dog you found on the side of the road. Mountain lions kill people. As in kill them.”_

_“He won’t hurt me.”_

_“David, have you lost your mind? You can’t be doing this! It’s too big a risk. What if it attacks you? What if it attacks Emma?”_

_Emma jumped out of the doorway and leaned against the wall before she could be spotted, but the temptation grew too strong and soon she looked again, focusing on the animal and not so much her parents’ discussion. Their words continued on, but Emma’s attention was all aimed at the lion. Emma could tell it was big, far bigger than her father was, even though it was laid out on the floor in the far corner of the room. It was even bigger than the lion she had seen at the zoo in Boston and she wondered if that was normal for animals around here._

_For some reason, when Emma looked at the beautiful creature before her it made her think of magic, and before she could think the better of it she moved inside the room. She wanted to be close, for whatever reason, and the only thing that stopped her from moving was that the animal chose that moment to look right at her. She was stunned by its eyes. They were the color of a copper penny, and they shined like the sun right at her._

_“Mary Margaret, I need you to trust me,” her father pleaded. “I would never put you or Emma in harm’s way. This is completely safe, I promise you. I can’t fully explain right now. It’s complicated. But when we get home I will tell you everything.”_

_“Shifters,” her mother muttered, sounding like she was amazed. Emma didn’t know what the word meant and before she could control herself, curiosity got the better of her._

_“Mommy, what’s a shifter?” …_

“Emma! There you are, we were wondering if you’d make it back by lunch,” her mother said, stepping out of the office and wrapping Emma in a great big hug. “I brought your favorite today.”

Emma was still surrounded by the lingering haze of that memory. Actually, was it even right to call it a memory? It seemed more like it could have been a dream or a productive of an over active imagination. Having worked with her father for years, including as just a helper since she was a girl, Emma was certain that her father never took in wild animals for care. There was a policy at the clinic that stated as much, but maybe that hadn’t always been there? Either way, Emma shrugged the remembrance off, knowing she had to be present to keep her mother happy.

“Grilled cheese?” Emma asked, gifting her mother with a smile even if she still felt a little off kilter. 

“And onion rings!” her Mom replied cheerily, pulling Emma into the office where her Dad was enjoying his own version of lunchtime bliss.

“Have I mentioned lately that I love you?” Emma asked, sincerely meaning it even if to her Mom it must feel like mere commentary on her bringing Emma lunch. 

“Don’t get too carried away,” her Dad said with a teasing glint in his eyes. “She also brought salad.” 

“Salad is good for you, David. Emma knows that and she’s totally on board.” 

“Sure I am…” Emma said, casting a conspiratorial glance at her father as she sat down and dug in, making sure to have enough leafy greens to appease her mother while also savoring the classic comfort food she loved so dearly.

“Your father and I were just talking before you got here about how well the new tourism push has been working,” Mary Margaret filled in, sounding too nonchalant for her not to have an angle here. Emma swallowed down her food, knowing full well what direction her mother would like to take this. That being said, Emma wasn’t about to make it easy for her. 

“That’s great, Mom. I know you guys worked hard on that this winter and more tourists mean more money for the town.”

“Mhmm,” her mother hummed before pivoting to a slightly more pointed comment. “It seems some tourists might even have more long term potential. I’ve heard about one person in particular who might just end up calling Storyboroke home.” 

There was no denying that her mother knew about Killian at this point. The puppy dog look in her blue eyes that was begging Emma to spill was a dead giveaway. Emma could only imagine what was going through her mother’s mind. Probably just a flooding of relief that Emma was finally showing interest in someone, and in the mix there were probably dreams of a wedding and babies and all the jazz. Never mind that Emma was still pretty young to be thinking that way. To Mary Margaret Nolan, those were all components of any worthwhile happily ever after.

“What do you think, Emma? Do you think they’ll stay?” her mother prompted after Emma had gone too long without answering.

“I don’t know, Mom. It’s still early days. There’s still time for him to change his mind.” 

Silence followed, which surprised Emma, and she looked back up from her food to her mother who was beaming. She looked like the cat who had caught the canary and Emma thought back on what she said, only for her father to tell her where her misstep had been.

“She didn’t say it was a man, at least not outright.”

“Damn it,” Emma muttered aloud. That was such an easy trick not to fall for. She had walked right into it now.

“Language,” her mother said, before seeming to remember that Neal wasn’t home so there were no little ears to pick up on this. “But really Emma, I can’t believe you haven’t said anything.”

“Why would I?” Emma asked, shaking her head with frustration at the way things sometimes were in Storybrooke. “You were just going to hear everything through the grape vine any way. Hell I bet you’ve gotten an update for every time we’ve seen each other.”

“Pretty much,” her father admitted. Her mother leveled him with a stare that warned him not to give away too many secrets and he put his hands up in surrender. 

“Whether or not we’ve heard anything isn’t the point, Emma. We care about you, and if this Killian Jones is important to you, we’d like to meet him. I mean really I should go over and introduce myself anyway. I’m the mayor after all and -,”

“Mom, please, don’t,” Emma begged, not bothering to play it cool anymore. “I know you’re just trying to look out for me, but… could you maybe not?”

“You can’t ask us not to protect you, Emma,” her Dad said sternly, showing the first sign of really sincere emotion since this whole thing started. “That’s our job, and we take it very seriously.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that I’m an adult, and the whole overbearing parents thing is kind of a lot. Could we maybe tone it down a bit, or put it on hold? Just for a while. I still don’t even know what this is, really, and subjecting the guy I like to an interrogation from my parents is not the way I want to play this.” 

“So you _like_ him?” her mother asked gleefully and Emma sighed. 

“Yes, Mom, I like him. But it’s complicated. We only just met. I don’t know where it’s going yet.”

_I know where I want it to go,_ Emma thought to herself. _I just have to figure out how to get us there. Tonight._

“Well maybe we could -,” her mother started, but then Emma’s father took Mary Margaret’s hand and he broke into her suggestion with a suggestion of his own.

“I think the best thing we can do is trust our daughter to know her own mind. If Emma says she needs some time, then we should give it to her.”

Her mother looked less than pleased at the thought, but as per usual her Dad was able to work some kind of true love magic and silently convince her that this was the right way to handle things. Eventually Mary Margaret nodded, turning back to Emma and promising that she wouldn’t interfere. At least not right now. 

“But when you do know for certain, I hope that you’ll tell us honey. We may be your parents, and maybe it’s not the coolest thing to tell your Mom and Dad everything, but we really want to know.”

“I think that’s painfully clear, dear,” David said before he pressed a kiss to her Mary Margaret’s temple. “Emma, do you think you could manage filling us in when you’re ready?”

“Yes. I think I can do that.”

“Well that’s that then,” her father said. “And on that note, Emma and I have clients coming, so I think we have to call this lunch what it is: over.”

“Okay, okay. I’m leaving,” her mother said waving her hands in the air as she grabbed her bag and came to give Emma a hug goodbye. “I love you, honey. You know I only want the best for you.” 

Emma did know that, and she told her Mom as such as they said their farewells. But when it was just her and her father left in the office, Emma knew that there was still something coming down the pike. There was no way her Dad could talk about her dating life and be so chill. It wasn’t his style at all.

“If he hurts you he’s a dead man,” her father said and though it sounded totally crazy Emma had to laugh. Her Dad might talk a big game, but he was a good guy. He wasn’t a killer, and Killian was in no real danger for better or worse.

“I’ll be sure to let him know that, Dad.”

With that, the two of them returned to their work day, letting go of the conversation about Killian and easing into their typical routine of caring for the town’s animals. But all the while Emma couldn’t help but wish that tonight would come around already. Because when it did, she was going to make sure Killian knew exactly where she stood, and she could hardly wait to see where things went once he knew just how much she wanted him.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it. Chapter four has come and gone, and I have to say I loved writing it. That being said, I am even more excited for next chapter because it will bring some big and important moments for Emma and Killian. Anyway thank you all so much for reading, and I would love to know what you thought and where you think we might be headed. Hope you all have a great rest of your weekend!!_ **


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: Hey everybody! Hope this update finds you doing well, and that you’re ready for another installment of ‘Lost Souls and Reveries.” This chapter was very fun to write because there’s a bit of intrigue, some new developments in our shifter universe, and of course, more CS cuteness. I can’t wait to hear what you all think and I’m so looking forward to your thoughts on this. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy!_ **

_“A real man lives up to his word, even when it damn near kills him.”_

Killian had heard those words more times than he could count from his elder brother over the course of his life, so much so that he could practically hear them aloud as he headed for the sheriff’s station.

The confrontation to come was something that Killian wanted no part of. It was bound to be unpleasant, but nevertheless it had to be done. This morning he promised Emma that he would try to smooth things over with Graham, and he would never break a promise to his mate. Even if he hated the idea of making peace with someone who had challenged his claim to her, Killian would try for Emma’s sake. Besides, the show down in the diner had proven to both him and Graham who the stronger shifter was.

Hours later it still amazed Killian that Graham was a shifter at all. There was no way to deny it when seeing him in person, but Killian had picked up no trace of another of his kind in the days since he’d arrived. It worried Killian that he could miss what should have been so obvious, and at first he wondered if his senses had taken some kind of hit. Perhaps the distraction of finding his perfect match had desensitized him to what should be undeniable signs. But he concluded, with the benefit of a few hours spent canvassing Storybrooke, that this was not the case. There was still virtually no scent that would hint at Graham’s existence, and Killian couldn’t comprehend how that was possible. By the time he arrived at the station, Killian was no closer to an answer, but as he walked through the front door his determination to get to the bottom of this had further solidified.

“Good morning,” a petite woman greeted from what appeared to be a deputy’s desk. “You must be Killian Jones.”

The acknowledgment of who he was surprised Killian until he remembered how small towns like Storybrooke operated. Still, this didn’t seem like a deputy greeting the town’s newest arrival. It was almost like this tiny woman had known that he would be here today, but that was crazy. He had made no appointment, and after the incident in the diner he was likely unwelcome and unwanted here, but this woman stood staring impassively at him as if his presence was just another item checked off of a very long list.

“I am, yes.”

“You’re early,” She said, motioning towards the clock on the wall. “He didn’t think you’d be here so soon.”

Killian wanted to ask how Graham could know he would come at all, but at that moment the man himself appeared.

“I think I’ve got it from here, Tink,” Graham said, embodying a much more laid back attitude than he had before. “It probably wouldn’t be a bad time to make the lunch run. We’ve likely outwaited the rush by this point, right?”

“You’ve got it boss,” she said dutifully before offering Killian a polite goodbye and heading out, leaving Killian and Graham alone.

“So… you made good time,” Graham said, pulling Killian’s attention back again. With the departure of the human buffer, Killian expected animosity to surface, but Graham remained as calm as he was before. “I’m assuming you surveyed the whole town. Find anything?”

“Nothing,” Killian said, perplexed by the newfound easiness in the sheriff’s demeanor as they walked back through the precinct and to Graham’s office. “How did you manage that?”

“Let’s just say you’re not the only one who doesn’t want to be found.”

The hair on the back of Killian’s neck stood up at the mention of his past though he did his best to appear unaffected. It was too much to hope that Graham wouldn’t go looking, but where there would be very little to say about him as far as the human government was concerned, Killian undoubtedly had a reputation amongst the packs. All it would take was one call and Graham would get some iteration of his story, if he hadn’t heard it already.

“Appears you have me at a disadvantage. You seem to know more about me than I do about you. Hardly seems fair,” Killian mused.

“There’s not much to know,” Graham said as he motioned for Killian to take a seat before taking his own spot behind the desk. “I don’t exactly come with a pedigree like yours.” 

“No, but you’ve inserted yourself into a human town and become the sheriff. You don’t think that’s an interesting choice?” 

Killian purposefully infused in his tone how strange it was for a shifter to do something like that. It was one thing to go rogue and live among humans. But to enmesh oneself so deeply in their community and take on the role of protector? Well that was a bizarre choice indeed, one that clearly stemmed from a story worth hearing.

“I didn’t insert myself,” Graham said evenly. “I was raised nearby by humans so they’re what I’ve always known. I tried the whole ‘pack’ thing out for a while when I was younger, but it didn’t stick, so I came home.”

Killian marveled at how forthcoming Graham was being with this information, especially given how anomalous it was. Humans didn’t raise shifters – there were fail safes in place to make sure it didn’t happen. To keep the secret safe orphaned shifters stayed within the clans. They were adopted by a pack and not allowed to live with people who shouldn’t know the truth. Yet Graham spoke of his past like it was nothing, and maybe to him it was. For Killian though, the past was something he wanted to forget and fend off as best he could. It wasn’t something he shared lightly, but now that Graham was aware of who he was, his options were limited. Killian could either take the man out in the hopes of preserving his secret (which was frankly not an option), or he could try and make nice and hope he could eventually trust the man.

“Packs are overrated,” Killian responded.

“That they are,” Graham agreed with a low chuckle. “But it begs the question – why is a rogue wolf who’s forsaken the bonds of pack and family laying claim to a human? Just what are you doing with Emma Nolan?” 

“She’s _mine_ ,” Killian growled out immediately and the ferocity of his response triggered a defensive stance from Graham for the first time since Killian arrived.

“ _No,_ she’s not.”

Killian could feel his wolf pushing to get out at the provocation. His animal wanted a fight. It wanted to rip apart any shifter who would doubt his claim to Emma or question his motives. If Killian let himself give into those baser instincts his wolf would win too. A physical fight would just prove what their showdown had this morning – Killian was stronger and more dominant than Graham was, plain and simple. But a brawl would also make a mess where Killian couldn’t afford to create one. He tried to breathe through his rage instead of caving to it, but it was bloody difficult to do so.

“Look man, you want to stay here, fine. You and I both know I can’t successfully fight you off,” Graham confessed bitterly. “But I’m not letting you come in here just to mess with her. Emma might just be a human but -,”

“She’s not ‘just’ anything. She’s my mate and she’s perfect.” 

The look of shock on Graham’s face was unsurprising. He must be thinking the same things Killian considered when he first found Emma. How was it possible? She was a human and Killian was a shifter. True mates that crossed the species simply didn’t happen – but it had – and he had the proof both in his heart and on his person.

“You can’t know that,” Graham replied, convinced it had to be a lie.

“And yet I do.” 

“You just got here. The full moon is still weeks away. You need it to -,”

“She marked me,” Killian said, proud of that fact even though he didn’t like that he had to share it with anyone. “My wolf knew from the moment I saw her, but it was confirmed when I got this.”

He pulled down the collar of the shirt to reveal part of the insignia Emma had left as a presence on his skin. Meanwhile Graham shook his head, clearly blown away at all of this. The sheriff hadn’t expected this twist, but Killian hoped that now that he knew the truth, Graham would stop trying to get Killian to leave her alone.

“Well shit… I guess she is yours.”

“As I said,” Killian responded with a huff before returning his shirt to normal. 

“I would apologize, but I’m not really all that sorry,” Graham said with a shrug. “I was only trying to protect her.”

“Why?” Killian asked, before clarifying. “Why are you close to her? To her family?”

“Because of David,” Graham stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Emma’s father?” Killian’s brow furrowed as he asked the question. What did Emma’s father have to do with this? He wracked his brain, thinking of the few tidbits he’d learned from Emma about the man, but all he recalled was that he was a vet like Emma.

“You don’t know,” Graham said, his eyes giving away that he himself had just made some kind of mental connection.

“Know what?" 

“Why did you come here?” Graham asked, completely ignoring Killian’s question.

“Honestly? Because Emma asked me to.” 

“Not the station. I mean Storybrooke. How did you end up here?” Killian didn’t follow Graham’s insistent tone.

“It was random. I just did.”

“Really?” Graham asked, unconvinced. “You had no other reasons?”

_Of course you did,_ the voice in Killian’s head which he knew to be his wolf said adamantly. _She was here. You knew she was here. She was calling you to her. Calling you home._

“Well I didn’t come here on a whim,” Graham said, filling in the silence that his question had prompted. “I came to this town specifically out of all the ones around here because of Doc Nolan. Because he saves people, people like us.” 

“He’s a healer?” Killian asked, now completely and utterly flummoxed. “But he’s…”

“Human, yeah.”

If he hadn’t already been sitting Killian would have needed to take a seat. This was so much to wrap his mind around. A human who knew about shifters? That was a threat, one that the council would have a lot to say about if they ever heard. It was part of the reason that Killian was nervous about his relationship with Emma. She was his mate, but there weren’t any laws in the shifter world that said how to handle that. It was a huge grey area, but her father knowing about shifters was cut and dry. He should not know, and if anyone found out that he did, he’d be handled somehow, likely in a way that would hurt Emma because it would take away her father forever.

“Why does he do it?”

“I’ve never asked him,” Graham replied with a shrug. “And I don’t know if he’d tell me if I did. That’s his business, not mine, but there are shifters all around this area who owe their lives to him knowing. David’s not a threat, even if he has to hide what he does for us.”

“And Emma, does she know?” Killian asked. Part of him hoped that she did. If that were the case then he wouldn’t have to worry about the reveal of his true nature. Maybe she’d be open to this. Maybe it wouldn’t freak her out to find out the man who wanted to spend his life with her forever was part wolf.

“No, she doesn’t. I don’t even know if David has told his wife,” Graham said honestly. “If Mary Margaret does know she’s never said anything to me, and that would be impressive, since she’s hardly known for her ability to keep a secret.”

The implications of all he had just learned weighed heavily on Killian. On the one hand, Emma’s father knew about his kind and he had decided to help them however he could. That was admirable, even if some might consider it reckless or crazy to open himself up to the risks associated with what he was doing. But on the other hand this was a secret, a secret about Emma’s family that he now knew and that Emma did not. Killian didn’t know if he could handle keeping something from Emma. Right now things between them were new and undefined, but he had every hope of moving things along with Emma and soon. In a perfect world they’d cement their bond as mates by the first full moon in a few weeks, Emma’s being human or not, but he couldn’t go into that with any kind of secret. What kind of foundation was that to build a life together?

“He has to tell her,” Killian said firmly. “If he doesn’t I will.”

“I figured you might say that,” Graham said with another smirk. “But that’s between you and him. Unless you want me outing you as a wolf to your future father in law.”

Killian grimaced at the thought, assuring Graham that he did not want that. He would figure this out. He just needed a bit of time to endear himself to Emma. Only with the benefit of more time together would Killian learn the best way to move forward, and until he knew how to handle this with the grace and tact it deserved, he’d keep this to himself. Graham agreed to respect that, and Killian decided that despite the fact that he had a dozen more questions, he would only ask one more. He wasn’t sure how much time they’d have before Graham’s deputy returned, and it wasn’t exactly a human-safe line of questioning.

“Why is there no trace of any shifters here?” Killian asked, genuinely curious. “You were right before. I tracked all over the town and there was no trace of anyone, including me. How is that possible?”

“That’s my job,” Tink said, spooking Killian since so few people had the ability to sneak up on him. She tossed a bag from the diner over to Graham, apparently back from her lunch run. 

“Tell me you’re a witch or something,” Killian pleaded, truly hoping she had some reason to know of their existence instead of being another human caught up in a dangerous situation.

“Tink is a Lynx shifter,” Graham explained, as if what he was saying wasn’t certifiably insane.

“That’s not possible. There are none left.”

“Ha! That’s what you think,” Tink quipped, her human looking eyes altering at her command to include a distinct shade of amber that Killian had never seen before. When she lifted this barrier Killian could finally scent her, and he was amazed. She was telling the truth. Would wonders ever cease? “Just because we don’t mark our territory constantly like wolves do, doesn’t mean we’re gone. Some of us like a little more discretion.”

“Lynxes can camouflage their scent naturally. Tink just broadens the scope – keeping Storybrooke and the trails coming in and out invisible to others.” 

“Well that’s… brilliant,” Killian admitted. “Thanks for that.” 

“You’re welcome,” Tink replied, clearly proud of herself. “But do me a favor and try to stop wandering, okay? You’ve had me working overtime with all the running and the pacing you’re doing. I know it’s over Emma but if you could just keep yourself in one area it would really help a lot.”

“Uh right,” Killian said, startled that she knew so much and a little sheepish at having been tracked this week. “I’ll keep that in mind. Any other shifters or surprises I should know about?” 

“Nope. That about covers it,” Tink said with a smirk before she raised a brow at Graham and nodded towards the door.

“Well all right then,” Graham said, standing from his chair. “If there’s nothing else, I think Tink and I should eat this and go make our evening rounds. There’s a storm coming tonight. Want to beat the bad weather if we can.”

Killian took the hint, rising from his seat and saying goodbye to both of them before heading out of the station. He was still shocked by all that he’d learned in there, and his mind tried to make sense of the new discoveries he was faced with as he made his way home. But while he was walking, he came to understand exactly what Graham and Tink were on about before. The winds had shifted and the atmosphere had changed in the time since he’d gone to hash things out. A storm would come, probably not until later tonight, but instinct told Killian it would sweep in quickly and stay a long while. Summer storms were famous for that, and Killian couldn’t help but think of the worst summer storm he’d ever seen many years ago…

_It was fitting that the world outside was still but charged. The air around them was hot and heavy, weighing on the forest in an almost impressive way, but it wouldn’t last. Miles off there was a feint sound of rumbling and the winds up high whistled a little more strongly through the trees. The normally brilliant summer twilight was dull and gray, and the white clouds above grew darker to the west as they headed this way. In another hour this relative state of natural peace would be long forgotten. The storm would be in full force, and that was when they would strike._

_“It’s not too late you two,” Granny pleaded from the corner. “You don’t have to do this yet. There’s still time.”_

_“To what, run?” Killian asked, the words dripping venom as they spilled from his lips. “No we’re done running, and the only way this stops – the only way the world can be free of Brennan is if he’s dead.”_

_In every second that had passed since his mother was killed, Killian had harnessed just a little more pain and hurt and hate. It had been almost two years now since his mother had been killed, and the rage he felt towards his father flamed brighter than the sun at the peak of summer. The darkness inside of Killian had grown a little bit day by day, feeding him strength and stamina. This might be about justice, about righting a wrong that was too cruel to even contemplate, but Killian had not taken any kind of high roads to get here. He had channeled every ounce of his ability and feeling and natural alpha-genes and honed himself into a weapon. His body had shifted from boy into man through rigorous training and never letting up. He had managed to fully control his wolf, and learned to communicate with his animal side in a way that should have taken decades to perfect. But his only goal in achieving all of this was to rid this world of the monster that was his father._

_“Ruby, dear, try to talk some sense into them,” Granny said, calling on Killian’s cousin who had been zoned out since Killian and Liam arrived here last night. But when Granny grabbed her hand, it seemed to pull Ruby back, and she looked at Killian with clear eyes as she made a surprising statement._

_“I can’t. They need to do this. So many lives hang in the balance. Brennan is only getting worse, Granny, and soon it will be too late. The sickness is spreading.”  
_

_“Sickness?” Liam asked, and though Killian was interested as well, it wouldn’t matter what Ruby said. He was here to kill Brennan and that would not change._

_“Alpha sickness. It’s rare, but sometimes when an alpha forsakes the good of the pack for the wants of his animal it happens. Your father has had it for years, but at some point there will be no human side left. Brennan will be a wolf – and a rabid one at that. When that happens…”_

_They all knew what would happen if his father reached peak strength and derangement. There were already no lines that Brennan wouldn’t cross, but at least the man had strategy. A wolf would be guided by instinct and instinct alone, and with a heart so black it no longer knew what goodness felt like, Brennan would be a force so dark it couldn’t be survived._

_“So our window is closing,” Killian said, his muscles flexing in preparation for the fight ahead. He was ready for this, not caring that the chances of survival weren’t great. Honestly it didn’t matter to him. If he died then so be it. As long as he rid the world of Brennan once and for all, it would be worth it._

_“Yes,” Ruby whispered, her sad and resigned look telling Killian she probably knew exactly how he felt. A part of him felt a pang of guilt for worrying her and Granny like this. But he couldn’t prioritize that over revenge. He just couldn’t._

_“Any other things you’ve seen that could be helpful?” Liam asked, but Killian knew it was a losing battle. Gifted as Ruby might be, she was also cursed, at least that was what Killian’s mother used to say. Knowing the future was a burden that must largely be handled alone. It was the only way to keep things as they should be. Telling them too much could actually hurt the future, and Ruby knew that._

_“Don’t let him bite you,” Ruby said firmly. “The sickness is contagious.”_

_“When did it start?” Liam asked, his curiosity and hope shining through in the question even though he tried to hide it. “The sickness. Was he bitten before we left?"_

_This was a moment of truth for Liam, even if it didn’t matter to Killian. There was no way that he could ever forgive his father. Whatever this alpha sickness was, whatever craziness Brennan had been infused with it didn’t matter. A real man would have fought it off, or would have taken care of the problem. No one could truly love his wife or his family and hurt them as Brennan had. There was no excuse – nothing that would make it right. So when Ruby gave the final blow, Killian didn’t feel any kind of pain._

_“No. He wasn’t.”_

_Silence descended upon their cabin as the four of them soaked in that knowledge. It was the ugly truth, but in some ways Killian was glad for it. Now he had more to hold onto, more hatred to stow away, and he would need all of it to do this tonight. Absentmindedly his hand reached for the pendant around his neck, and he felt the cool, comforting metal he’d been wearing since they fled from England. The compass was his mother’s the only thing of hers Killian had kept after everything, and right now he needed it with him. Though she herself was peaceful and good, Killian knew his mother’s spirit would be with him tonight. He only hoped he could avenge her, and that maybe when it was all over he would be able to claw himself out of this darkness he’d created…_

The ding of his phone that sounded when a message arrived sucked Killian from the depths of his memory. He was a little more used to the thing now, having given his number to Emma a few mornings ago, and he prayed that it was her reaching out. When he saw that it was he smiled, and when he read her message his smile bloomed into a full-blown grin.

_E: Hope you’re brushing up on useless information for tonight. The Rabbit Hole is on the corner of Hickory and Main, FYI._

Killian couldn’t explain how he knew, but he was certain that this text wasn’t actually about telling him where the bar was. This town was so small; it would have been impossible for him to miss it after a week here. No, this was Emma reaching out and confirming that they’d see each other. It was a sign that she was missing him and wanting to be reunited, though probably not as much as him. He sent her back a message of his own, promising to do his best to bring her honor and to see her soon. Once his phone was put away he hurried up, walking as quickly as he could back home so he could get on with this evening at last.

Unfortunately, getting ready ended up being a little more complicated than he expected. It was easy getting home, of course. Killian would actually be surprised if any one could get lost in so small a town, shifter or not, but when he got down to readying himself to see Emma again, the challenge presented itself. Having very little experience in any kind of ‘trivia night’ Killian wasn’t exactly sure what one wore to such an evening. He assumed it was casual, right? They were going to a bar and playing a game, so that would stand to reason, but since he was getting to see Emma, Killian still had this urge to look his best. He wanted his mate to desire him, because he was desperate for more moments when her eyes grew darker and her scent shifted ever so slightly to one of want and need. More than that, Killian also wanted Emma to be proud of him. Despite his wish to be alone with her, the reality was tonight would be filled with other people too including her friends. It was imperative that he make a good impression, and there was only one chance to make a first.

In the end, after showering and trying to set himself to rights, Killian went with what he knew best. Dark colors had always suited him and he didn’t have anything else in his wardrobe to even consider. He tried to strike a balance between casual yet upstanding, and then he grabbed his leather jacket despite the heat and the impending rain for one reason, and one reason alone – because Emma liked it.

He had learned that particular fact early on, seeing the way she took him at their first few meetings, but yesterday as he was walking through town, hoping to run into Emma during her lunch break, he’d overheard some women in the town gossiping. At first he was angry that anyone would speak of Emma behind her back, but as he got closer to them (still standing far enough away that no human could have heard from such a distance) he noted that everything they said was complimentary. No one had a bad word to say about his mate; they simply commented on how taken she was both by Killian and by his choice in outerwear.

_“I cornered her after their breakfast at the diner today, trying to figure out how far things have gone between them. You should have seen how flustered she got. She was blushing like crazy and mumbling. All I caught was blue eyes and black leather.”_

Killian chuckled to himself during the brisk walk to the bar, not because he found Emma’s reaction to him funny, but because he knew it was unusual for Emma just as it was unusual for him. Never in his life had Killian succumbed to such feelings. He’d never been this distracted or in need of more time with anyone before. The only person he’d ever lay awake and dreamed of was her, but since coming here those dreams he once had had changed. Now, instead of innocently wondering where Emma was and wishing she were safe, his thoughts had progressed further. He still wanted her to be taken care of, but he now felt it was his duty to see her protected. He wanted to be close to her, yearned to touch her, to explore the sweet seductive pull between them, and so he spent the hours when they were apart imagining how it would be when they finally came together. 

When he arrived at the Rabbit Hole, Killian was nowhere near under control. On the contrary, his constant thinking of Emma and waiting for the moment he’d get to see her again had him feeling frayed and unmoored. He lacked direction. He didn’t know how tonight would be or how he should be as a result. Would Emma want him to be friendly, or would she welcome more from him? He hoped that he could show her his intentions, but he didn’t know how, and as he stepped inside the well-used town tavern he debated the merits of a number of different options.

Yet at the moment that Killian found Emma under the lights at the bar, he stopped dead in his tracks. Instantly all debate flew from his mind, and it was replaced by admiration and enthrallment all centered on one Emma Nolan. He was rooted to his spot, looking at her and taking her all in, and what he saw was nothing short of a miracle.

It defied reason how any one person could be so beautiful, but here she was, a marvel and a treasure that a man could look the world over and never see again. Killian’s eyes moved down from her beautiful face along the curves of her body, finding her outfit of choice for this evening even more transfixing than her usual fare. Jean shorts and a short top that didn’t quite cover all the way down shouldn’t look this good, but on Emma it was sublime. She looked young and carefree, laughing at something one of her friends said beside her at the table, but he could feel the charge around her. Her anticipation hung thick in the air, but there were other scents too, scents he did not like at all.

Killian tore his eyes from Emma and looked around for the encroachers. There were other men here, men who were far from Emma but who watched her and her friends with interest. It stoked the protectiveness in Killian and an instant feeling of aggravation. He did not appreciate others looking at his Emma, no matter how impossible it was to ignore her. But those primal thoughts couldn’t overcome him. At some level Killian knew that Emma was her own keeper and guardian. She could handle herself – she’d been doing it for years – but he wished that he could fill that role for her. He wanted the world to know that the two of them were tied together, and as if she could feel his presence from the intensity of his yearning from her, she turned at that moment and found him in the crown.

When she spotted him her reaction was immediate and overwhelming. The wave of her happiness that she emitted hit him right in the chest, and Killian could do nothing to resist her. He made his way through the place, ignoring every other person until he was at her side, where he felt he most belonged. They were close, only a matter of inches apart, but he had to touch her, even if he couldn’t great her exactly as he might want. His hand came to hold hers lightly, his thumb tracing a soft trail over her hand as he grounded himself in the fact that they were here together.

“You made it,” Emma murmured, her voice silky and smooth and utterly irresistible.

“Trust me, love, nothing could have kept me away.” His eyes traced the flush that came to her cheeks at his words, and only when a throat cleared from beside Emma did he regain himself. He looked away from Emma, seeing her two friends, Anna and Elsa, in the booth and he offered them a smile. “I hope you don’t mind me crashing your game tonight.”

“Mind?” Anna asked incredulously. “Honey, we are thrilled! We have all sorts of questions about -,”

Anna let out a yelp mid statement and jumped slightly, and Killian knew that under the table one of them had swatted or kicked her to keep her quiet. He couldn’t tell based on faces if it were Emma or Elsa, for Emma looked mortified but Elsa looked irritated, like a mother who’s child had gotten somewhat out of line. 

“Uh, you know _trivia_ questions. Not like digging into your background interrogation questions.” 

Anna’s attempted cover prompted a groan to come from her sister and Emma ducked her head down for a moment, her hand coming over her eyes as she shook her head. Meanwhile Killian had to laugh at this and try to alleviate the tension.

“Well whatever questions pop up, I’ll do my best to answer them.”

This seemed to appease all parties, and just as he took his seat the festivities began. It became apparent rather quickly that this was a town-wide enjoyment and a usual occurrence for many in attendance, including Emma and her friends. There was a lingo here and inside jokes that Killian was not versed in whatsoever, but he found his ignorance only added to his overall experience. As the night progressed Emma made sure at every turn to keep him in the loop and include him, and soon enough he found he wasn’t just enjoying her company, but that of everyone else as well.

“I think you might actually be the perfect addition to our team,” Anna said after Killian had correctly guessed an answer for a question about this year’s World Cup. “I know pop culture, Elsa knows all things history, and Emma’s our science and animal guru, and you can handle the guy stuff.”

“Anna, girls can like soccer too,” Elsa reminded her. “But real talk, how much do you know about the history of alcohol? Leroy always asks a question about it without fail and -,”

“All right, all right quiet down. I can’t ask my questions if you’re all talking,” their host grumpily announced – lambasting their team as well as all the others who were chatting on their own. He was a small man, but Leroy certainly packed a lot of aggression into one small form. “In 1887 a bartender by the name of Jerry Thomas served the first martini ever. What city did the hotel he worked in reside in?”

Emma and her friend’s all looked to him expectantly and Killian was elated that he actually knew the answer. There was no real reason why he would, except for the fact that he’d actually spent time in the city a few years back.

“San Francisco.”

“You seem awfully confident about that answer,” Emma teased, and Killian didn’t miss the way her leg subtly grazed his under the table. It was a gentle touch, but it was enough to have his already present flame of wanting burn brighter.

“That’s because I am.”

“You’re bluffing,” Anna quipped, even as she wrote it down and covered the answer with her hand so none of the other parties (some of whom like to cheat a bit) would see.

“Am I?” Killian asked and it was Elsa who spoke up.

“Nope – he knows it. He won’t know the next three questions, though I think he’ll pull through for us in the last round.” 

Killian looked to Emma for explanation as Leroy announced that he was in fact right and Emma explained about Elsa and her way of knowing things. It sounded to Killian like she might actually have some kind of gift, though he didn’t know the extent of her talents. Regardless he was soon distracted as the game continued on and his subtle flirtation with Emma unfurled as well. In the end Elsa was right. Killian did not know very many more answers, but the final question was one that stumped Emma and her friends, and he, blessedly knew what it was.

“The state bird of Virginia is a Cardinal.” 

“Write it down, write it down,” Elsa urged Anna and a few minutes later, after they’d submitted their answer sheet for the final round, they found out he was right and that the four of them had won the game.

The women of his table immediately broke out into laughter and shows of excitement. Anna and Elsa were beside themselves, their game-long competitiveness paying off in spades, but it was Emma’s reaction that blew Killian away. Her excitement at having won was palpable, and Killian swore he’d never felt a similar high before. To see Emma happy was a remarkable gift and he felt the same sense of elation coursing in his own veins though the stakes were so small. This was one game of trivia, but Emma made it seem like the greatest accomplishment. She celebrated with her friends, and then, in a twist he never saw coming, she pulled him close for a kiss right there in front of everyone.

It was pure bliss when their lips came together, but where Killian desired the chance to pursue this further, Emma pulled away all too quickly. It was an instinctual reaction – just a sweet, short show of her affection, but when they came apart she only lingered in that happy thrill with him for a moment. When it dawned on her what she’d just done, the color drained from her face and her excitement immediately deflated, letting worry in in its stead.

“Oh um, I didn’t – well I mean I shouldn’t – I’ll be right back.”

Killian tried to reach for her and keep her close but Emma slipped away with a speed he didn’t see coming. One moment she was there with him and the next she’d gone running, leaving him not only desperate for more but also needing to make this better. He wasn’t sure what exactly was wrong, but he vowed to himself to fix it as he followed her. There were murmurs around them, no doubt discussing the scene that had just happened, but Killian tuned it all out, tracking Emma and finding her out back in small alley way. It struck him as significant that this was where his moment of truth with her would come, especially since they’d been in such a space before but under completely different circumstances.

“Emma, love, are you all right?” he asked, his eyes taking in her stance as his heart went out to her. Her position wasn’t defensive per se, it just looked like she was trying to hold herself together. There was anxiety in her brilliant green eyes, and he moved toward her slowly, not wanting to rush her, but also needing to ease that to the best of his ability.

“Yeah I just – I kind of lost my head in there. I didn’t plan that or anything. I’m so -,”

Oh no she didn’t. Emma thought that right now she was going to apologize to him for that kiss, but he wouldn’t allow it. Instead he closed the space between them, pulling her into his arms. He held her for a moment, taking in the heat that returned to her face and the slip of her mask. It revealed that she was just as desirous as he was, and when he knew that this was what she wanted he fused his lips with hers, tasting her again and letting himself have that more he’d craved when they were in the bar.

It took no time at all for Emma’s hesitations to fade, and Killian reveled in the way she arched into him and her hands clung to him. She met him beat for beat, her passion even more vibrant and amazing than he’d ever imagined. She was exquisite – a dream made flesh – and Killian was in awe of her. He would give anything in the world to take this further. The take these kisses even further. He let his hands roam her body, feeling her gentle curves and her smooth skin, but before he could get too carried away he retreated, breaking the kiss an waiting until Emma opened her eyes, blinking as her vision adjusted in the after math of such an embrace.

“I know you didn’t plan this, Emma. I didn’t plan it either. It’s sudden and unexpected, but I think you should know that my feelings aren’t in any way fleeting.”

“Your feelings?” Emma whispered, her eyes glancing back down at his lips before they returned to his eyes, searching for answers he was more than willing to give.

“I want you, Emma,” he confessed as his fingers traced along her cheek, before he pushed a lock of her wayward hair behind her ear. “There’s something about you that I can’t deny and I wouldn’t even if I could. I know it’s fast, but I also know that this pull between us matters. I know that _you_ matter, more than anything has in so long.”

“I feel the same way,” Emma said with a smile as her hand rested above his chest. She must feel the unnaturally fast beat of his heart, but in the quiet of the alley he could hear hers matched the same rhythm almost identically. “I just didn’t think… I mean you never really made a move so…”

“Been waiting for me, have you?” Killian teased and Emma’s laughter was so bright and so bubbly that it filled him with joy all over again. He was floating right now, despite their surroundings and he never wanted this moment to end. “Well now that I know that, I promise, you won’t have to wait anymore.”

“Good,” Emma said before pulling him for another kiss and filling those last fleeting moments out there under the golden lantern light with all the peace and joy and love deserving of two souls who had been searching for each other forever, only to finally find their way home.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it. Chapter five came bearing some new beats, developments, and confirmations. I know it was kind of information heavy at the beginning – but I don’t think many other chapters will be that way from here on out. I foresee more action coming down the pike. That being said there were things that needed to happen, like Killian learning about Graham and Tink and David. Also on the CS front we just needed a kiss already, I mean come on. Five chapters is a slow enough burn for me. Anyway next chapter, which will be here in two weeks, is from Emma’s POV again and it will cover the aftermath of this kiss and then ask out for the first date. I hope you’ll stick around on this adventure with me and let me know what you thought about this chapter! I love to hear your feedback, and appreciate all your support!!_ **


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: Hello all! So I debated when drafting this fic how fast I wanted things to go, and I gotta say part of me is kicking myself now. Making this fic so much longer than I originally thought means we are going a little slower than my usual rate, but I really think it will be worth it in the end. That being said, we are at chapter six and you can rest assured more pieces are coming together in the past and in the present. Hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you all think!_ **

“So this morning’s office schedule is pretty light as of now, knock on wood. Just that litter of kittens who need their shots, Lionel Johnson’s iguana who isn’t eating as much as usual, and the Smith’s dog who needs a restitch.”

Emma heard the words that Gus, the clinic’s administrator, was saying, but it all felt very far away even though she stood right beside him. Subconsciously she internalized the information being told to her, and at some level she’d picked it all up, but still Emma was distracted, and distraction and her work simply did not mix. She had to have the facts and focus or her patient’s could suffer, so she silently shook herself and tried to pay better attention, speed-reading the chart Gus handed her that said the exact same things he’d just imparted.

“Chester needs a restitch?”

“Yup. Your Dad checked him earlier on his way out, and the wound was still clean after you patched him up yesterday, but a few of the stitches broke overnight. We think he does that pseudo-running thing some dogs do in their sleep. Doesn’t look like he purposefully messed with it.”

“Got it,” Emma acknowledged, knowing that Gus was right. It was likely just a dream-induced injury, and not something more to worry about. “And Dad’s all good on the farms today? He doesn’t need any back up?”

“No word yet. Last I heard all things were going well, but he’s not at the farms as it turns out. He’s somewhere outside Augusta. Got a call this morning from a remote patient and they said it couldn’t wait.”

“Another referral?” Emma asked and Gus nodded. “Someone should really give him an award or something. He’s got to be the most popular vet in Maine at the rate.”

“You’re telling me,” Gus said motioning towards the schedule in a way that said managing it was no cakewalk. Emma laughed and watched as Gus walked back out front to the waiting area and she knew she should follow suit and head to the exam rooms where her charges were waiting.

Before she could do that, however, she needed to get herself in order, and part of that meant looking through old files to make sure they were giving the best form of treatment. Gus had given her all of the medical histories they had on their regular patients, but for the kittens Emma wondered what exactly would be the best treatment option. They had a number of paths to choose from, and though she could make the decision on her own and be confident in that, she felt a need to be her father today and handle things as he would. To do so, she headed into his office, seeking out the files in the back cabinet that had all his information on strays and rescues.

As she looked for the files, Emma found her eyes moving over to her father’s desk, which was meticulously ordered but comforting at the same time. He had the same familiar pictures standing up there. There was one of her parents at their wedding, one of her Dad and his best friend Lance who Emma considered an Uncle, ones of both Emma and Neal as very small kids, and a recent snapshot of the four of them at Emma’s graduation. But there was only one picture on the table with a person Emma had never met and it was the one of her father and his mother. He was only a newborn in the shot, since his mother hadn’t lived very long after having her father and his twin brother, but it was one of Emma’s favorites all the same. The love in that photo was completely undeniable, and though the loss was heart wrenching and honestly so sad, she’d found her father smiling at it many times before, taking comfort in a mother he never got the chance to know.

Emma’s fingers traced over the frame absentmindedly as she looked at the shot, but before her mind could wander too far on her family history, she heard the tell tale sound of chaos. A chorus of meows that could only be made by very young and rambunctious kittens was sounding out, and the sooner she got to work, the sooner those little cuties could get back to the shelter and the volunteers who would no doubt want to dote on them.

As the day progressed, Emma let herself relax into her work, losing herself in the familiar and unexpected parts of the process. She started by seeing to their nosiest tenants, the half dozen kittens who’d been brought in a few days back. They were ready for their four-week shots, and all of them were well behaved given the circumstances. Turned out all they wanted was some attention and affection, which Emma was very happy to give before and after she administered their vaccinations.

After the kitties, Emma shifted over to iguana care, which, as expected, turned out to be a rather benign case. The iguana was absolutely fine – he was just changing what food he wanted. It turned out normal old romaine could get boring, and Emma was able to get him to eat much more when she offered him a little fruit and some cherry tomatoes. She’d keep him over night for observation, but she was certain he’d pull through. And as for Chester, the lovable if overactive English setter, his stitches did in fact need tending to but he was a good boy as she did the work. She didn’t even need to call in Gus for back up, and soon enough he was all stitched up and good to go.

This smooth sailing was arguably great, seeing as it made Emma’s life easier, but the lack of intensity in her day opened Emma up to wandering thoughts again. Because there was no real risk involved, her mind could do its own thing as her body did the work she knew by heart, and it turned out that when given the chance all she could think of was Killian Jones and the way he kissed.

And damn could he kiss! Just thinking about it sent a thrill of anticipation up Emma’s spine. That elated sensation reverberated outwards, filling her with this energy that felt almost electric and he wasn’t even with her. Emma was completely by herself, but the room was still filled with anticipation and wanting all the same. It was crazy to be so affected by someone, but that seemed to be how the story went where Emma and Killian were concerned. She’d been drawn in since they first saw each other, and there’d been a build in her wanting him since that first moment, but after that kiss outside the Rabbit Hole… well, leave it to say there was just no way to resist anymore. She had to give in, and damn if giving in didn’t feel so freaking good.

It was so good, in fact, that Emma had caved to that desire more than once in the past few days. The weekend had been filled with little moments, almost of all of which began, ended, or consisted wholly of kissing this man who made her feel so much. There was some talking scattered in between, mostly Killian saying these amazingly sweet or sexy things that just made Emma want him even more, but the kissing was the defining part of every interaction. They were honestly acting like teenagers, finding each other and sneaking away to make out like it was going out of style, but Emma found that she loved it and that she couldn’t get enough.

The excitement of not knowing when she would see him but being certain that he would find her filled Emma with this rush she’d never known before. Part of her was dying to ask Killian exactly what this was between them. She wanted to put labels on the attraction that they clearly shared, but another part of Emma wanted to stay caught up in the moment. It felt so freeing to just be impulsive and take what she wanted, and Emma didn’t think she had ever felt more alive than she did in those fleeting instances. Still, there was only so long that this pattern could hold. At some point her tendency towards needing a plan and craving direction would win out, and when it did she and Killian would have to talk about what was next and when ‘next’ would be here.

The thought of what all of this meant had been weighing on Emma to some degree, and though she tried to keep it to herself throughout the weekend, Emma did confess her slight misgivings to Elsa and to Anna. It was hard not to, especially since she told them about the first kiss. Since being informed of the new direction of Emma and Killian’s relationship, her best friends had been starved for more news and more updates, and because they were like sisters to her, Emma was confident that anything she said would stay between them. She told them honestly about all she felt – about how for right now this was enough, but that she wanted more with Killian eventually – and their insights and perceptions had been most eye opening.

For Anna, this whole dance was a build up that Emma should be enjoying. It had been forever since Emma had shown interest in anyone, and never to this degree, and she’d been so busy with school and now working at the clinic that she hadn’t had time for any kind of flirtation. Anna saw Killian as a means to a delicious and healthy end, and if things lasted in the long run that was great. But more than anything, Anna believed that Emma needed the adventure and a little more spice in her life. Emma agreed with that last part, but she found it hard to be so cavalier about the future. She loved the current dynamic of waiting and wondering, but the thought that somehow this wouldn’t work out or move forward hurt Emma’s heart and had old protective walls wanting to come up again.

Elsa, meanwhile, saw things very differently. To her the worry was not needed, not because Emma wasn’t really putting her heart on the line or feeling more than she ever had, but because it wasn’t actually a risk. Time had only further cemented Elsa’s instinct that Killian was a keeper, and she held him in this esteem that made Emma feel like he would be a permanent fixture in her world and in Storybrooke too. Elsa’s feeling before meeting him had blossomed after his coming to the bar. She’d met him and sized him up completely, and her results gave Emma this incredible hope. Knowing Elsa felt like this was right for her gave Emma room to really believe that it could be, and though she trusted her own instincts to lead her in the right direction, Emma had been counting on Elsa’s gut with even more faith for years…

_After everything that happened last night in the alley, Emma felt like she couldn’t tell what was real and was a dream anymore._

_She’d come back inside after the attack and had taken her time to find her family again, and when she did it was on the tip of her tongue to say something. She had to tell them, right? They needed to know that two giant wolves had just had a massive showdown in the back of the Boston Children’s Hospital. But for some reason Emma couldn’t say the words. Maybe it was because her parents looked so relieved to see her after she’d run off, or maybe it was the fact that she could see how tired they were from all of their stress, but in the end Emma ended up saying nothing, holding onto memories that confused her and alarmed her._

_Emma tried to sleep that night, hoping maybe in the morning it wouldn’t seem quite so crazy, but her dreams were filled with glimpses of those insane moments played over and over again. Panic that her life was ending would shoot through her, only to be ebbed away when the black wolf showed up to save her. She woke up time and again, tossing and turning in her sleep, until finally Emma gave up, rising with the sun and heading back with her mother to the hospital first thing._

_Her hope was to see Neal and feel better. She was praying her brother would be in better shape, and that he’d distract her from what had happened. But being in that building again was like living through the trauma all over again. Emma was jumpy and on edge, and she didn’t know how she could make it through this morning, never mind the rest of the day. Her parents asked her if everything was all right, and again she had the chance to come clean and to tell them what had happened, but she just… couldn’t. It felt impossible to say, and though her parents could still tell that she was off, Neal was just as happy to see her as he ever was. He was still frail and fragile, but his smile when Emma was near lit up the whole room. That happiness Neal had became her anchor, and she stayed with him for hours, choosing to remain even when her parents were called away for more meetings with the doctors._

_“Oh thank God, I found you guys.”_

_For a moment Emma thought she must be imagining things, because she heard her best friend’s voice clear as day. That was impossible though. Elsa was in Storybrooke, more than two hours away, but then Neal’s eyes went wide with excitement and he sat up in bed eagerly._

_“Elsa! You came to see me! I knew you would come!”_

_“You did?” Emma asked of Neal, before turning back to Elsa, her eyes growing wet with tears. “You came?”_

_“I had to. I had a feeling this morning when I woke up that I should be here, so I hopped on the bus and here I am.”_

_Emma hugged her friend fiercely, trying desperately to keep from crying though her tears broke through all the same. Elsa held onto her tight, infusing in the embrace all the love and compassion they shared as best friends. It meant the world that Elsa was here, that she’d come without even having to be asked, and today of all days Emma needed her most. She’d been feeling so terribly alone, but now she had someone to confide in and to trust her true feelings with for the first time in forever._

_“No Anna today?” Emma asked, wondering how in the world Elsa had managed to come alone. She and Anna were practically attached at the hip, and there was no doubt in Emma’s mind that Anna would want to be here to support them too._

_“She doesn’t know I came. She’ll be furious when she finds out, but you know she hates to lie, and she’s just terrible at it. I couldn’t trust that she wouldn’t tell Mom and Dad we were coming, and I couldn’t risk not getting here.”_

_“I can’t believe you’re here,” Emma said as they both took a seat, with Elsa coming next to Neal and exchanging their special handshake they’d formed a few years back at Neal’s insistence._

_“It was time,” Neal said, like that was the most obvious thing in the world and both Emma and Elsa laughed at his assured statement._

_“Yeah buddy, it was. Sorry I took so long,” Elsa said and Neal accepted her apology as they got to talking._

_Elsa filled Neal and Emma in on all the happenings in Storybrooke. Most of it Emma already knew from her daily calls with Elsa and Anna, but Neal ate every update up completely. He asked roughly a million questions and Emma swore she hadn’t seen him this perked up in weeks, but eventually he did get tired again. It was natural that he would get weary as the day went on, and though he had to succumb and go to sleep, he pleaded with Elsa not to go without saying goodbye. Elsa promised, and when Neal was definitely out, Elsa turned to Emma with an expectant look._

_“Okay, so you’ve had some time now. You have to tell me what’s going on.”_

_“You mean other than this?” Emma asked, waving her hand around the room. She didn’t need to say the words aloud. It was obvious that Neal’s illness was taking a toll, but Elsa looked persistent, and Emma knew once her friend was on a case, she never let it go without answers._

_“Yes. Something happened. I know it did, I can feel it.”_

_Emma debated for another moment whether or not she should say anything but eventually she confessed it all to Elsa. She told her about the wolves and the fighting, about her fear and the calm that came thereafter. She didn’t leave any of it out, even the weirdest parts about not being afraid of the second wolf, and when it was all over Elsa didn’t look at her like she thought she was crazy or she was judging her. She just took Emma’s hand in hers and spoke her mind._

_“Oh my God, that sounds terrifying. I can’t believe that happened and in the city no less.” Elsa whispered the words but her alarm made it louder than it should have been. Emma worried they would wake Neal, but another look at her little brother showed he was still soundly sleeping._

_“But you believe me, right?” Emma asked, needing her friend to believe that she wasn’t as crazy as she felt._

_“Of course I do, no question.” Elsa said without hesitation. “But that doesn’t mean I have any idea why it happened. It must have been just a freak thing, but you think someone else would have seen them. They didn’t just disappear.”_

_“You’re right, they couldn’t have,” Emma said, standing suddenly, feeling like she had to go back to the alley. It was the only way she’d be able to prove what had happened really took place, since there had to be evidence. The battle between the animals out there was brutal, so there must be a trace of something. “Stay here a minute. Okay?”_

_“Stay? But where are you going?” Realization dawned on Elsa’s eyes a second after she asked the question and she soon stood too. “No Emma, you shouldn’t go down there alone. You can’t. You need -,”_

_“Elsa, what I need is for you to stay with Neal, okay? I don’t want him to be alone. I promised him he wouldn’t be and I don’t know when my parents will be done with their meeting.”_

_“But Emma -,”_

_“Elsa,_ please _?” Emma begged and finally Elsa nodded._

_“Fine. I’ll give you five minutes, but if you aren’t back by then I’m coming after you. Got it?”_

_Emma agreed before bolting from the room. She moved as fast as she could without running, and she wasn’t sure if it was because she had an eerie feeling retracing her steps from last night or because she was so desperate for answers. Either way she was out in the alley way again in no time. Again it was empty, though now she could see everything so clearly and she took care to keep the door open so she wouldn’t get locked out again. Then she moved forward, her breathing heavy and her hands shaking as she entered the space that was once so charged._

_From what she could tell nothing looked out of place. The ground was strangely clean. There was no gravel even, and Emma was confused. She knew there should be signs of damage, and there should be a body somewhere too, but when she looked around the corner of the dumpster there was nothing. No blood, no body, nothing out of place. Emma felt even more confused than she had before and a prickle of foreboding climbed up her back. She looked back towards the entranceway, but there was nothing, only the occasional person walking by, completely unaware of her existence._

_Emma shook her head, at a loss for words. There was really nothing here. So it had to be a dream right? She’d just had an episode – a mental break people called it. God she was crazy! She was actually losing her mind and –_

_From the corner of her eye she caught a glimmer of something and she turned to look at it more closely. Stooping down to the ground, she reached for the metal object that was left here, and when her fingertips first made contact she felt a flash of something she couldn’t quite name. It was a white-hot surge of awareness, and the only thing she had to compare it to was the moment when she’d first seen the black wolf. It was foreign and bizarre, but also intriguing, and as Emma flipped the pendant over, letting the chain attached fall loosely over her hand, she marveled at the design she found, knowing, even if all signs spoke to the contrary that this was a part of the puzzle currently playing out in her mind._

_After a few moments of taking in this mysterious artifact, Emma headed back inside, knowing if she lingered any longer she would have Elsa to answer to, but when she arrived back at the doorway of Neal’s room she was surprised by what she saw: somehow, in the time she’d been gone Elsa and Neal’s roles had been reversed. Her brother, for his part looked wide-awake and totally reenergized, and Elsa seemed to have fallen asleep at his bedside. Emma immediately moved towards her checking she was all right, and her friend came awake with a start._

_“Emma? Oh crap, did I fall asleep or something?”_

_“Yeah you did. You were out like a light. Must have been the early bus ride.”_

_“It must be,” Elsa said, sounding like she wasn’t quite convinced even though it was the most rational explanation. “Wow I have a headache – what do you think the chances are they have acetaminophen in a hospital?”_

_Emma laughed at Elsa’s joke, taking comfort in the fact that her friend was returning to herself. “I’d say pretty darn good."_

_“What’s acid-o-mini-fin?” Neal asked curiously and Emma responded with a brief explanation causing Neal to wrinkle his nose. “Medicine? But you don’t need medicine Elsa. You need grilled cheese. Emma says everything can be cured with grilled cheese and she knows everything."_

_It touched Emma to hear her brother’s high opinion of her, and she tried to fend off the tears that formed in her eyes at his sweet words. God, he was the best kind of kid, and he just had to pull through. Luckily, today he seemed to be doing so well, especially since Elsa had gotten here._

_“Did someone say grilled cheese?”_

_The three of them turned to find her parents holding bags of food that Emma knew would hold their favorite meal inside them and she watched as their eyes grew big at seeing Elsa, but just as Emma expected their shock turned to love and appreciation swiftly. For as much as Emma was a part of Elsa and Anna’s family, Elsa and Anna were just as much a part of hers…_

“Knock knock,” two familiar voices said from the doorway of the exam room and Emma turned to find her best friends bearing similar bags to the ones in the memory she’d just been reminiscing over. “Did someone order grilled cheese and onion rings?” 

“Uh, no,” Emma answered honestly. “But if you brought them to me I’ll love you forever.”

“Oh you already love us,” Anna said with an eye roll before pointing down the hall towards the back door. “We were thinking picnic tables today, since it’s so nice out.”

“Well first we were thinking we’d ask if you were free for lunch,” Elsa said with a smirk. “But then Anna decided that you would forsake any plans for a grilled cheese.”

“Historically yes, that has been the case,” Emma replied with a laugh cleaning up a bit before following her friends out into the beautiful summer afternoon. 

“I said we shouldn’t assume, especially with the way things are going with a certain new neighbor,” Elsa supplied, making Emma blush at the mention of Killian. She tried to conceal it by brushing off some of the stray leaves from atop the picnic table that her parents had put back here years ago. 

“And then _I_ told Elsa that it’s not an issue because there was no way you’d plan a real date without telling us first.”

“So all those breakfasts just don’t count?” Emma asked trying to sound like she was teasing and not fully affected by this conversation, and Anna shook her head firmly as she took a seat.

“No ma’am they do not. Until that man sweeps you off your feet with a romantic dinner or trip or something, I’m not counting it. Diner pancakes do not a love story make. You need a proper date.”

Emma wanted to respond that all of those mornings spent with Killian kind of did feel like the start of a love story. She felt the same nerves and excitement every time she and Killian had shared breakfast that people claimed to feel on a really good date, but approaching footsteps on the path here at the side of the clinic stopped her. Emma guessed it would be Gus with an update, or maybe Belle coming to join them or something, but when she saw their guest was Killian she was struck with an instant anticipation that made her almost dizzy.

“Well speak of the devil, and he shall appear,” Anna chortled with delight. “Not that I think you’re the devil,” she explained to Killian. “You seem very nice and not at all hellish or evil.”

Emma knew that Anna’s words, though radically out there and kind of wild, would be seen as no threat to Killian. He had a good sense of humor, and he seemed to understand her bestie’s tendency to turn a strange phrase now and again. But she still felt relief when she heard his throaty chuckle and saw the smile on his face. She’d been fighting back a groan, and she exhaled a sigh of contentment as she looked back at him, finding herself hypnotized by his ocean-colored eyes.

“I appreciate your assessment, Anna. I’ll have you know I see no devilish qualities in you either.”

“Really? Because I do,” Elsa replied, her joking tone making everyone laugh again as Emma awaited whatever moment was about to come.

“So, what brings you out this way?” Anna asked, clearly digging for the information Emma wanted and Killian only spared her a second’s glance before looking back to Emma.

“I’m actually hear to ask Emma on a ‘proper’ date if you can believe it.”

“You are?!” Anna asked excitedly as Emma asked a question of her own. “God, you heard that?”

“Yes I did, and yes I am. I had thought it would go a bit differently,” Killian confessed, and Emma knew he was referring to their audience. It occurred to her then that she wanted things to be different as well, and as much as she loved Anna and Elsa, she didn’t want this moment to come with so little privacy. So when Killian looked like he might press on and still ask her, she grabbed his hand and tried to turn things in a new direction.

“Maybe we could just…” she trailed off looking back at her friends. “Could you give us a second?”

“Absolutely,” Elsa said for both Anna and Elsa. But where Elsa looked totally fine with Emma and Killian leaving for a bit, Anna looked downright disappointed. In this moment she looked like a little girl again, and Emma found she had to muffle a laugh as she pulled Killian towards the door to the clinic, and back inside, away from prying eyes. 

“Well this is an unexpected pleasure. I finally get to see where you work.” 

“Oh, right,” Emma said, forgetting that he hadn’t been here before. Over the past week he’d become the focus of so much of her time and thinking that Emma weirdly felt like he’d always been here. “Do you want a tour?”

“Maybe another time, love. I’ve already crashed your lunch with your friends. Probably best to keep things brief or we may face repercussions.”

“Good call,” Emma agreed as she led him into his office and shut the door behind them.

When they were finally alone Emma felt her already present excitement amplify and she waited to see if he’d let go of her hand or get right to the point, but he didn’t. Instead he moved closer to her, his hands running over her body in that now so familiar way. In their wake they left trails of arousal and desire, and Emma arched slightly closer, looking for something to take off this edge of need that he brought her every time. She looked up at him, her eyes tracing the curve of his lips, and she wanted him to kiss her right now. She wet her lips just thinking about it, and she swore she felt a growl come from his chest at the action. But instead of giving in, he held back, his hand coming up to cup her cheek in a sweat and steady gesture.

“I came here today with the intention of asking you out, love.”

His confession was laced in a husky tone that told Emma Killian was similarly in need of some kind of release. She honestly didn’t know if kissing would be enough. She wanted so much more, it was like her body and her common sense had disengaged from each other. They were at the clinic where she worked, and though the door was closed any number of interruptions could come, but it didn’t seem to matter to Emma. She still wanted more… only after a moment did she realize he was waiting for her to respond and she swallowed harshly, forcing the words out though her throat was tight with her emotion.

“So I gathered. Are you still planning to?” she asked, as her hands trailed lightly over his chest. 

“I know I should, but I don’t think I can,” he said, surprising her, but before she could feel the sting of rejection he clarified. “I don’t think I can risk you saying no. I’m tempted just to tell you that we are going out, because I want you too much.”

“I won’t say no,” Emma promised, trying but failing to suppress the thrill of his words. They were dominant and demanding, but Emma knew he would never wield that power against her. Killian was a man who took what he wanted, but he also respected her, cherished her even, and all his admission did was stoke the flames more and more.

“Thank God for that. So tonight then?”

“I’m off here at six. Pick me up at seven?”

“Aye, love. Nothing could keep me away.” 

With that agreement settled between them, Emma arguably could have moved to return to her lunch. Her friends were waiting on her and she only had so long for a break before she had to return to her duties of the day. Yet she couldn’t let Killian go without taking some of what she wanted. She pulled him in for a kiss, but where she might have instigated the embrace, Killian soon took over. It was hot and heavy and full of inexplicable promise, and Emma wasn’t too proud to admit that she lost her head a little bit. Killian transported her out of time and space, and he made her forget herself and where they were until he finally let her go, reminding her that though they had to stop for now, there was always tonight.

“I don’t know if I can wait that long,” Emma confessed, knowing she should be embarrassed by saying that but she couldn’t seem to muster that emotion. She was too blissed out on good feelings to let anything bad in.

“It will be a trial for sure, but I believe you capable of anything, Emma, once you set your mind to it.” 

The compliment washed over Emma and she brought him in for one last kiss. This one was fleeting and swift, but she couldn’t help herself, and from the gleam in his eyes, Emma knew Killian felt the same way. Without any more words he offered her his hand to lead her back outside, but when they left the office door, they were greeted by an unexpected face in the hallway.

“Emma?” 

Shit! Her Dad was here. Shit! Shit! Shit! 

“Uh… hi Dad,” she said awkwardly. “I thought you were out on a call.”

Emma didn’t know what to do here and she looked at Killian for some kind of reaction. The only thing she saw in his expression was openness. He was looking for her to lead and he cemented that by squeezing her hand slightly. Only then did she realize they were still holding hands, but as she looked to her father, she saw he had definitely noticed. Instinctively Emma let go, but she felt the loss the moment that she did, and she found herself regretting that decision.

“I was, but it didn’t end up being the emergency they thought.” Her Dad looked over to Killian for a minute, clearly sizing him up, and Emma repressed the urge to groan at how blatantly over protective he was being.

“Doctor Nolan, I’m Killian Jones. It’s nice to meet you, finally.” Killian offered his hand in greeting, and though Emma was scared her Dad wouldn’t accept it, he immediately did. Thank God – Emma didn’t know what she’d do if there was a scene right now. She was mortified enough as is.

“You too. I’ve heard a lot about you and I suspect we’ll have to have a talk at some point about your intentions.”

Okay, now Emma was really embarrassed. Killian had literally _just_ asked her on a date and her Dad was pulling this? It was way too early for talks like that, right? It wasn’t fair to pressure Killian into anything. There was a good chance the date wouldn’t go well, or maybe Killian would change his mind. But just the thought of either of those things happening made Emma’s stomach sink painfully.

“Aye, I’m not going anywhere, sir, so I look forward to it.”

It was hard to mute her reaction to those words, but Emma tried her best. They filled her with this insurmountable hope, because she knew Killian was a good man. If he said he was staying he was staying, and if he said he’d someday subject himself to that talk with her Dad then that meant he really say a future for them. Thank goodness for that, because with every passing day Emma felt herself falling deeper and deeper into this and into him. Killian Jones was impossible to resist, and he proved that by being a rock and support for her even in this trying moment.

“All right, well now that you two have got that all figured out… I’m going to see Killian off and get back to my lunch. I’ll see you in thirty minutes?” she asked her Dad nodded before saying good-bye to Killian and heading into the exam room. With that, Emma led Killian out the door once more.

“I’m so sorry about that. If I had known my Dad would be here…”

“It’s more than okay, Emma. I was glad to meet him. I imagine we’ll be seeing more of each other in the near future.”

“But we haven’t even had the first date yet,” Emma said with a smirk. “What if it goes terribly?” 

“Will you be there?” Killian asked and Emma nodded, not tracking his logic until he spelled it out for her. “Then by definition it will be perfect.”

Emma felt herself melt a little more at his promise, and as he said his goodbyes she was tempted to go after him, but she had already made her friends wait too long. It hadn’t been any more than ten minutes or so, but still, they deserved her full attention, or at least as much of it as she could give.

“So… how did it go?” Anna asked innocently. Emma blushed and her friends both drew their conclusions immediately. “That good huh?”

“Oh yeah. He asked me out for tonight, and it was going really, _really_ well, at least until we ran into my father.” 

“Your Dad is here?!” both Anna and Elsa yelled and Emma nodded. “God this just keeps getting better.”

“He’s going to want to talk about it,” Emma said, not knowing how to handle it if her father did ask her about Killian.

“Of course he is,” Elsa agreed. “But it’s going to be okay either way. Your Dad is a reasonable man over all. Just tell him what you want when you want, and remember, the day has to end eventually.”

_And when it does, I’ll get to see Killian again,_ Emma thought to herself, feeling the rush of excitement and nerves all over again. And as the day went on, Emma held close to that anchor of excitement, wondering where they night might take them and what kind of magic a date with this man would bring to her world.

**_Post-Note: I cannot even tell you guys how excited I am for the date chapter. It’s been something I have been looking forward to for a while for a number of reasons, one of which being that the flashback is actually a happy one. Can you imagine?! Yes, you read that right, next chapter is basically a fluff fest, and it will be here in two weeks. Anyway I hope you enjoyed the story and I would love to know what you guys thought. Underneath the flashbacks and the present story, I’m putting in little crumbs of what’s to come, and they might be really obvious to you guys but as someone who never writes stories with any kind of twist or anything, it’s a big deal for me. Hope to see you all again in two weeks!!_ **


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So the first date chapter is finally here and I have been ready to get here for what feels like forever! In this fic, there are obviously some different dynamics at play. There is the intrigue of Killian and Emma’s pasts, the mythos of shifters, and some potential future hiccups that must be faced – but in this chapter we are getting my traditional blend of CS cuteness and fluff. It’s a real love fest, not going to lie. Anyway, I hope that you guys enjoy and I thank you so much for reading!_ **

Dating. As a concept, it was something that all people should be familiar with. It was a normal part of human life, and at the surface it seemed like a straightforward idea: if two people were interested in each other, they should seek out time to be together and get to know one another, thus hopefully further developing that interest into something more.

For Killian, however, dating was a foreign concept. Part of that was thanks to his roughish ways. He’d been so young when his mother died and had dedicated his life to seeking out justice, there wasn’t exactly time to pursue a relationship. By the time their battle had been fought, Killian was exhausted, wary, and resigned to a life of being totally alone. But even if things had gone well, even if he had had an ordinary shifter life, dating would still be somewhat of a mystery.

As a shifter there were certain built in bits of knowledge one always carried, and arguably the most important was the meaning behind true mates and their placement in each other’s lives. The instant attraction, recognition, and bond that came when mates met made typical human dating somewhat obsolete, at least the first phases of it. The weight of meaning that a first date carried in human culture wasn’t present in shifter circles, because the anxiety of trying to figure out if something would work wasn’t there. When destiny was a guiding light in the bond of mates, things were different. Mates craved connection to be sure, and they sought out time to be alone and together more than most, but there was never that stress of what would come next, and so, for the first time in his life, Killian was facing the first date jitters so many humans must feel all the time.

“There’s no need to be nervous,” Killian said aloud to himself as he looked in the mirror, adjusting the last of his clothing so it looked just right. “Emma is mine just as I am hers. She just doesn’t know it yet.”

The thought calmed his frayed nerves, but nothing could fully calm him. Since he asked Emma out for this evening he’d been in tumult. Part of him was anxious for this and nervous that he would somehow be found lacking or that he wouldn’t be enough for Emma. She deserved an amazing date, and an amazing story (something humans always seemed rather fixated with, at least in the movies and shows Killian had seen on the subject), and Killian wanted to give that to her but he wasn’t entirely sure how. The other, and undoubtedly larger, part of him however was just desperate to see her again. Worry or not, Emma’s closeness to him would ease away any nerves or doubts that he had. She was the remedy to his very worst feelings, and he knew that if he could just muster up a little faith, he would find that this evening went every bit as well as he was hoping.

What may have appeared like a sudden invitation to Emma earlier this afternoon was hardly that. Killian had been planning for days how exactly to woo his woman, and eventually he’d decided on a course of action. Again, he was a novice at this, so first hand experience could provide very little information, but in all of his planning and hoping and ironing out of details, Killian had held his mother’s memory close. Of all the people in his life, she was the one who somehow believed in love most. Despite everything she dealt with from Killian’s father and from life itself, she never gave up on love, and she never stopped believing the magic true love could bring was out there…

_Walking through the doors of his home after a long day of school, Killian took comfort in the place more than he ever thought possible._

_They’d been here in London for a little more than a year, and so far things had been quiet. Killian still knew that his brother and his mother worried about the potential return of his father, but they never told him that, and they never let that worry stop them from making new, happy memories. It had been a trying year in some ways, with Killian having to adjust not only to a new school, but a new country and a new culture as well. Yet strangely he felt more at home here, half a world away, than he ever had back in America._

_“Mom, I’m home. And I don’t have homework,” Killian said, starting out with the white lie purposefully. He admitted to himself that he_ did _have homework, he just didn’t have any he was actually willing to do. It was a wasted effort though, for a moment later his mother popped her head out of the kitchen with a look that said she highly doubted that._

_“Killian…”_

_“Fine, I might have something. But it’s dumb though.”_

_“I can’t believe that’s true,” his mother said as he took a seat at the kitchen table. She came over and pressed a kiss to the top of his head and gave him a hug. He accepted it, appreciating the warmth of her embrace and the way she smelled familiarly of cinnamon and vanilla. That smell had been of comfort to him since before he could remember, and he was happy they never lost it even with their running away from home._

_“They want me to write a story.”_

_“And…?” his mother asked, still not following his hesitation. “Killian, you love stories. You can’t get enough of them.”_

_“Yeah but this one’s about love.”_

_“Ah,” his mother said, a bit of understanding crossing over her face. She wiped away the flour that had been on her hands from whatever she was baking and then she contemplated Killian’s predicament. “That is a bit more challenging. Why don’t you write about you and Liam. You love your brother, and he loves you. Just write about one of your adventures together.”_

What adventures? _Killian thought to himself. His brother was hardly given to excitement these days. But instead he diverted with another, more pressing problem. “It’s supposed to be romantic because of Valentine’s Day and all."_

_Killian heard his mother mutter about the merits of having children write up romances, but he didn’t fully hear or understand it all. Either way she eventually disregarded her disgruntled feelings and took a seat beside him at the table._

_“Okay, so why don’t you base your story off of a fairytale? You know enough of them to do one justice.”_

_“I know,” Killian agreed, and though he hesitated for a moment before confessing how he felt, he decided to be honest with his mother. “But it feels like a lie. Fairytales aren’t real, and love like those stories isn’t real either.”_

_Killian could see the hurt that his words caused his mother and he was too ashamed to keep her gaze. He looked down at his hands, angry at himself for burdening her, while also being angry at the world and his teacher. It was wrong to pretend things were as they would never be. But after only a moment his mother covered his hand in hers and urged Killian to look at her again._

_“I know that you’re thinking of your father and I, Killian, and you’re right, that’s not the way love was intended to be. But just because we didn’t have love doesn’t mean no one else ever has. Your grandparents, my Mom and Dad, they had the best kind of love. They were a one in a million fated pair. Their love… well it’s the kind of dream you have to believe in, because it’s just so beautiful.”_

_Killian listened then as his mother outlined the tale of his grandparents. Their love was a story of finding hope in a hopeless place. His grandfather had dealt with a great loss, the loss of his brother and the rest of his family, when he was just a young man. He’d left his home without truly believing there was more out there. But one day he’d found a partner, a love, and a light for his darkened world. It turned out that she had also known hardships, but where he was doubtful and unsure, she always held on to her faith and conviction in something bigger and more beautiful than she had so far. The two of them knew from the very first moment they met that they were meant to be, and they were more than run of the mill mates. The love they had and the spark that ignited between them was so strong it left a mark on both of them the very first time they touched. His mother pulled out her pendant that she always kept close to show him the swirls and designs he already knew by heart. It appeared a kind of similar shape had been printed on their skin, brought only by the magic of a real and true love._

_“Do you have a mark?” Killian asked, forgetting himself. But his mother didn’t look saddened by the question. On the contrary, she looked relieved._

_“No, honey. Your father and I… we weren’t entirely normal. He thought that maybe we could make something work, whether nature deemed it destiny or not, but these things can’t be forced.”_

_“So you weren’t mates then?” Killian asked._

_“It’s complicated, Killian, and if I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re asking not because you’re curious but because you’re trying to get out of homework.”_

_She used a teasing tone and coupled it with the action of tickling him, making Killian laugh and the moment of unease wash away. And when both of their giggles had ended, and they were left just with the happy aftermath, his mother’s eyes remained bright as she left him with some parting advice._

_“The most important thing to remember when it comes to love is that_ real _love heals you. It will be your guide and your compass, but you have to trust it. Even if it’s scary, you have to choose love, and you must always choose it. It’s the most important thing in the whole world. Promise me you’ll remember that, Killian.”_

_“I promise.” …_

In the years since his mother’s passing, Killian had not done enough to keep that promise. Before her death, Killian was a boy, not fixated on love or finding forever. He’d been waiting anxiously for his first shift, not distracted by girls or the promise of a future mate. Then, after she was gone, Killian allowed himself to become jaded and angry. Even when the dust settled and he removed himself from everyone and everything he’d even known, trying to numb the pain, he still didn’t allow himself to believe the stories where love could be real. Like his grandfather before him, Killian resigned himself to a far more lonely life, but through meeting Emma he felt that renewed hope.

Looking back on it, Killian realized there was no real way to impart the feeling that came with a love like this. It didn’t matter that he was only a boy when his mother told him the story. He could be a man with no burdens and no past emotional harms and he still wouldn’t understand. Only in seeing Emma, in holding her, in knowing she was his and he was irrevocably hers could he fully grasp the magnitude of a love like this. Of course it was healing and light and blissful – it was like breathing fully after years of going without clean air. It was elemental but inspired, and even now, as he stared down an evening the likes of which he had never known, Killian still had hope, because he had Emma.

Finally, after what felt like forever spent waiting, the sun sunk low in the sky told him it was time. He could, at last, go and find Emma, and from there they’d both experience this newness together. He had it all squared away already. He’d made sure every last detail was together, and enlisted Graham and Tink to help him keep it preserved, and then he made himself presentable for his mate. It wasn’t much, and as Killian walked towards Emma’s apartment he knew that there was no comparing what he brought to this evening with what Emma brought to everything, but he still felt a lightness to his step and a pride in his heart. This was happening. He was doing this, and hopefully his instincts would prove right, providing Emma with the kind of night he deserved.

By the time Killian reached the stairs to her second floor dwelling above the clinic, his heart was pounding his chest. His body was more alive than it was on a full moon run, and his anticipation swirled in the air around him. Even a human must sense this kind of tension and desire, but when Emma opened the door to greet him, all thoughts of what she knew or thought were gone. All he could see was Emma, and all he could think was that she was the most impossibly beautiful creature he’d ever known. God, she was absolutely perfect. She was poised but still sexy in this pink dress she’d chosen, and it highlighted every last curve she had while somehow still being tasteful. Her golden curls were pulled back, exposing more creamy flesh for his viewing, and the beauty of her face was hers and hers alone. The rosy tint at her cheeks was no artifice – it was her genuine reaction, one that heated Killian through to the core and scorched him in the process.

“Hey.” Her voice were husky but still completely her own, and it told him so much though she’d only said a word.

“Emma, love, you look stunning.”

“You think?” Emma asked, biting her lip and looking down at her dress as she shifted a bit, letting the skirt flare out. She looked back up at him and though her question was sincere, Killian could tell she knew exactly how much he loved her in this dress.

“I know,” he intoned as he moved forward, offering her a single rose. Her eyes lit up at the offering and as she brought it to her nose to take in the subtle scent, Killian caught her giving him another once over.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” she said with a sultry flare and Killian grin. 

“Aye, I know that too.”

The point of his response was to be overly cocky, and he was rewarded for it by an eye roll from Emma even as she blushed. This was more and more interesting. It seemed that Emma liked this brand of charm, and since he had every intention of giving Emma everything she wanted, he would have to remember that for the future. For now, though, he thought he’d use her response to his advantage. He moved closer to her, taking her into his arms and moving in so he was only an inch away from her lips.

“I also know that I’m only so strong, Emma. I waited so long for this evening to come, but on one thing I can’t hold back.” 

Their lips met at his promise, and Emma didn’t need words to tell him that she agreed with his plan. Waiting for the end of the evening to kiss her senseless simply wasn’t an option. He had to have her, had to taste her, and feel her in his arms right now. After a moment spent in this glorious state of heaven he would pull back, but he needed this connection to hold onto. It was like an anchor that couldn’t be denied.

“I think I like it when you don’t hold back,” Emma murmured when they came up for air, and Killian felt a low growl emit from his chest. Seeing her like this made him crave more, and in the back of his mind he thought about how they were, at most, twenty feet from a bed where he could take her and make her his. But instead he clung to reason and to the path he knew she deserved. 

“Shall we, love?” he asked, offering her his hand and she accepted it, taking one last sweep of her apartment before locking up and heading down the stairs with him watching to make sure she was safe all the way.

“It must be rather convenient to be so close to the clinic,” Killian mused as they made it down on solid ground again. He took stock of their surroundings and couldn’t help the smile that formed when he thought of seeing her earlier today. Stealing away that moment of time was lovely, as was getting the chance to see a place that meant so much to her. There was, of course, the hiccup with her father, but that was nothing compared to the good of seeing and being with Emma.

“Ha! That’s one way to put it.” Emma’s eyes scanned the area critically, like she was half afraid that someone would pounce on them.

“You see it differently?”

“I see that while this is the ideal location for a morning commute, it’s not exactly -,” a light at the door of the clinic went on then and Emma groaned before finishing her thought. “Private.”

Again Killian was in a situation where he should arguably have seen this coming. If he wasn’t so taken with Emma, he might have been able to give her some warning that this thing she feared was coming. But when Emma’s father and the small woman he knew to be her mother exited the clinic, stumbling upon them hand in hand, Killian wondered if he ever stood a chance. Mary Margaret Nolan had a reputation that proceeded her, and from everything he had heard from Emma and for others, he would not put it past her to be a master of slipping by without detection. Human or not, Killian reasoned that any mother of Emma’s must be a fearsome thing to behold, but she came wrapped in a happy, friendly package here in this moment.

“Oh, Emma! There you are. We didn’t expect to see you.”

“Didn’t you?” Emma grumbled and Killian tried his best not to laugh aloud. As awkward as this situation could have been, he could feel nothing like discomfort. Instead he sought to sooth Emma with a look and a last squeeze of her hand before he offered his in greeting for her mother. 

“I don’t believe we’ve met, Ma’am. Killian Jones.”

“Mary Margaret Nolan,” she said, sounding thoroughly charmed. Her voice held a tone that was chipper and fresh, as if a long day of work hadn’t passed her by. “You know my husband, David.”

Killian and Emma’s father shared a knowing nod, and in David Nolan’s gaze Killian could sense a number of things. There was the protectiveness of a father, who was fiercely dedicated to his only daughter, but there was also a bit of apology for his wife. This transparent ploy to meet him which was being played off as accidental obviously wasn’t David’s idea, but Killian respected a man who did what he could to make his partner happy. Since he had every intention of doing that for Emma, he could more than empathize. He just wondered if Emma would be a similar kind of meddler to her mother. When they had children, what roles would they play? That thought was a rabbit hole that could lead him into a string of fantasies all evening, so he shook them away, reminding himself not to move too quickly and to stay in the moment.

“So, might I ask where you two are headed off to tonight?” The question from Emma’s father was mild and calm on the surface, but Killian could tell it was also a test. He wanted to make sure his daughter was getting her due respect. Killian only wished he could make Doctor Nolan see that she would always find that in Killian.

“It’s actually a bit of a surprise,” Killian confessed, his free hand coming up to scratch behind his ear. When he looked at Emma she was smiling at his tiny display of bashfulness and immediately he felt relief. Despite her current discomfort, Emma was still happy and still with him, and that meant more than anything else.

“Don’t worry, Charming. Graham told me all about it, I’ll fill you in later.” Mary Margaret made the promise to her husband before turning to address Emma and Killian once more. “Now you two go have a wonderful time. And Killian, make sure Emma brings you over for Sunday dinner this week. We’d just love to get to know you better.” 

Killian heard the strangled sound of shock that came from Emma at her mother’s words, but her parents had left, heading in the opposite direction before she could speak. Such an invitation was big and bold. It also instilled a lot of faith in Killian and Emma’s connection. This was their first date, but for some reason Mrs. Nolan believed this wouldn’t be their only one. She was, it seemed, so certain that he was being invited to a family event, and while Killian was all too willing to oblige, wanting that intimacy with Emma as soon as he could have it, he would never rush Emma into something she wasn’t ready for.

“I can’t believe she just did that,” Emma stated, her lingering dismay apparent as her brow furrowed. “I’m so so sorry.” 

“Don’t be, love. I haven’t had a chance for family togetherness in years. I’d love to join you, if you’re up to having me of course. But perhaps we should make it through this date before committing to such an outing.”

“You’re seriously okay?” Emma asked, as they started walking towards their final destination. “You’re not totally freaked out by my overbearing parents. I mean they were waiting for us. You realize that, right?” 

“I do, but no I’m not ‘freaked out.’ Your family is a part of you, Emma. They are the people in your life who matter most. For that reason I want to know them, and whenever you’re ready, I’m hoping to get that chance.”

A quiet moment passed between the two of them where Emma seemed lost to her own thoughts. Killian knew his words packed a powerful meaning, and he hoped that she knew he was speaking in earnest. It might be a lot to confess, for it implied that he saw a substantial future between the two of them, but it felt right. To assure Emma that she need not worry, he had to be honest with her, and eventually she spoke again, confessing her own thoughts in the process. 

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re actually real.”

“I can assure you I am, love. But if it makes you feel better, I feel the same about you. To go from what I’ve always known to life with you in it has been a transformation. It’s hard to imagine something like this exists.”

Emma smiled at that, leaning in closer to him. Their bodies were melded together as they walked in the direction of the beach, and it felt so natural. This might be their first time on such an outing and with such a blatant display being together, but Killian could picture doing this for all his years to come. Walking down the main streets of Storybrooke with his Emma’s hand in his was intoxicating, and though they had to brave the looks and inquiries of some of their neighbors, Killian was proud to be seen with Emma at his side, and even happier to know that by morning everyone would know the two of them were together.

“So Graham knows about this? How? Why?” Emma asked as they drew closer to the beach.

“I needed his help in securing things.”

“So you’re, what, friends now?” Emma asked, shocked but not hiding her contentment at the fact that whatever their old issue was was now resolved. 

“We have an understanding,” Killian said with a shrug. That was the truth after all. Killian couldn’t exactly picture himself grabbing a beer with Graham any time soon, but the hostility was gone and a truce had been secured.

“Right. Well I smell a bromance coming on, because this is a complete one-eighty.”

Killian laughed at her joke and it was full and long, the kind of laugh he’d been denied for ages. Still they were normal when he was in Emma’s company. She was smart and funny and she had a way with words that got him every time, but though he loved to linger in the happiness she brought him, he sobered up when they got to the spot just before his plan would become visible. In doing so he managed to hear every part of Emma’s reaction, from the gasp of surprise to the way her heart beat skipped and she hummed out a happy sound of satisfaction.

“Wow. This is… gorgeous.” Emma said, looking at the cove out here on the beach that was sectioned off for them.

On the sands there were blankets and cushions set up for a picnic as well as all the food and drink they’d need. He’d packed everything that he thought Emma would want and then some, wanting to be prepared for whatever may come. The main attraction tonight would be the sunset, which while not happening directly over the water, would paint the clouds on the horizon in brilliant shades of pink and orange. But in preparation for when that was done, Killian had set up candles and a few old-fashioned lanterns for them. The candles were nestled in the rock linings of the cove, and he was happy they’d lasted in his time away. As he’d expected the walls of the place protected the flames from too much breeze. Either that or Tink had been by to keep an eye on them.

“You really did all this for me?” Emma asked, her voice unsure. Killian turned to her, seeing how overwhelmed she was by emotion. Her eyes were misty but bright with a want and desire. They told Killian that she loved what she saw, she just couldn’t quite believe it was real. As such it was up to him to prove it to her and to make her see that this was all real and all for her.

“I would do so much more, Emma,” Killian promised as he brought her hand up to kiss gently. “This is only the start.”

From there, Killian acted out the plan he’d been clinging to for days. He led Emma to the picnic he’d procured for their meal, watching with delight as she reacted to each choice. It seemed the intel he’d collected had been correct about what Emma might like in this situation, and he largely had Elsa and Anna to thank for that (for both sisters had been very forthcoming with Emma’s preferences after being there when he asked her out). He made a mental note to tell them how much he appreciated their help, but it was only a fleeting thought, as his focus remained solely on Emma and their lively, enjoyable conversation. 

In choosing a picnic set up, the obvious thought of an outsider was likely that this was a romantic ploy, and in part it was. Killian wanted Emma to have something different and special. He wanted them to share a story that was sweet for their first date together, but this set up also paved the way for seduction as well. Seated together side by side and somehow always touching, a picnic felt more intimate than dinner at a table or in a booth. It enabled Killian to linger in Emma’s direct presence, and as the meal unfolded they both grew bolder in their closeness and connection. Soft grazes moved to more defined touch, and though there was still an innocence that hung around them as they sought more pieces to the puzzles of their lives before meeting, there was also a growing flame between them to match the candlelight all around.

“So your mother calls your father ‘Charming,’” Killian commented at one point when they’d moved on from dinner and into dessert. The sun had set by this point, and they were nestled underneath a twilight sky, but as the day faded, a new light shone on Emma that was just as beautiful as the one before it. It was effervescent and captivating in a whole new way, and it spoke to the light of the moon that would be coming soon, which Killian couldn’t wait to see. “Is there a reason for that particular moniker?” 

“It’s an inside joke,” Emma explained with a laugh as she cuddled in closer to him, not having any care or worry for being too close despite it being their first date. “I know it doesn’t seem this way, given how she is today, but my mom was somewhat of a hell-raiser in her youth. At least that’s what Dad tells me.”

“I can see that,” Killian acknowledged and when Emma peered up at him he clarified. “She had to learn those sneaking skills from somewhere.”

Emma laughed and the reverberation of it went through Killian. For a second he closed his eyes, soaking it in and he inhaled he was surrounded again by her sweet, luscious scent. It was the perfect mixture, made even more luxurious by the feel of her fingers tracing unknown shapes against his arm, and when he opened his eyes again, he looked back down at her and awaited her story.

“Very true. Well anyway, when my Mom and Dad first met at college, Mom was going about her business, completely oblivious to guys and dating and all of that. Where everyone else was there to party, she was there to build a future for herself. She wanted to take the world by storm, and she was squarely determined not to fall in love or get attached to anyone until she’d done that. You see she’d recently lost her father, and her stepmother was… difficult to put it nicely.

“Anyway so it’s the first week of school. My Mom is taking all honors courses and already kicking ass, and she’s so busy with all her work that she doesn’t realize she’s got an ardent admirer.”

“Your father?” Killian asked and Emma nodded.

“Oh yeah. Turns out he saw her at orientation and just knew, and he couldn’t really figure out how to make his move. Finally he goes up to her and tries to talk to her, but she tells him flat out she’s not interested.”

“Only she absolutely was.”

“Totally,” Emma agreed. “She just didn’t want to admit it. But my Dad respects her wishes. He gives her some time, but not a ton of space. He keeps popping up places, and apparently every time they run into each other he’s got some witty, charming thing to say. Of course my Mom secretly loved it, but she tried to deflect and she dubbed him ‘Prince Charming’ and not in a good way.”

“Ah, so she worried he was too good to be true then.” 

“Exactly,” Emma said with a soft, thoughtful smile, as if the story of her parents love occupied a special place in her heart. “Luckily for both of them she caved a week later and let him take her out. Then he turned out to be exactly who he said he was, but the name still stuck. They finished college and grad school, Dad started his practice while Mom worked for the town and still he was her ‘Charming.’ When I was a little girl they even made a whole to do about me being a princess. If my father was a prince then obviously I was royalty too.”

“I’m sure the world has never known a better princess,” Killian said and he watched as Emma blushed at his compliment. 

“What about you? Do you have any family?”

“I did,” Killian whispered, and though he felt the pain of his loss, it wasn’t as bad as when he was alone. Emma’s being here helped him, and the weight of that ugliness didn’t have the chance to settle or stay when she was here. “A mother and a brother, but they’re gone now.” 

“I’m so sorry.”

“It was a long time ago,” Killian reasoned, but Emma saw through that.

“But you still miss them.”

“Aye, I do,” he confessed. “But I carry them with me, and I know now that things happen the way they do for a reason.”

“That’s very mature of you,” Emma said, and he gave her a small smile. “I’m sure it took a lot of work and thought and faith for you to come to that realization. I can’t even imagine…” 

“Alas it’s a realization I’ve only just stumbled upon. In fact, it took meeting you to really accept it.”

“Do you believe in fate?” Emma asked, not shying away from his words, but rather jumping to a new level Killian never expected to encounter tonight. This was early days, and for humans such deep talk would likely be frowned upon, but Emma seemed eager to ask and he was more than willing to oblige her. Her hand had come up to his chest, resting above his heart and she was close enough that he could feel her breath against his cheek as he replied.

“I do. And if I didn’t before I certainly would now.” He left unsaid the fact that she was the source of all of his hope, but somehow he knew she understood him. He didn’t need to confess everything, because the bond they already had without even cementing their mated status was stronger than anything he’d ever known before.

“I just feel like I know you, or maybe like I’m supposed to know you? I don’t know it’s hard to explain but it’s also simple…”

“It’s like everything is new and familiar at once.”

“Yeah,” Emma murmured. “We barely know each other, but it doesn’t feel that way. We met and I instantly knew that you matter and you matter to me especially. I don’t know why or how but I know that you fit in my life and in my world. It’s like you found me, but I didn’t even realize that I needed to be found.”

Her words made Killian shiver slightly because they were so powerful and profound. They were an exact reflection of his thoughts about her, but they meant so much more because he never expected them to come. With Emma’s being human he imagined things would be so different, but here she was confessing that she was nearly as wrapped up in him as he was with her. Yet underneath his gratitude and growing love for his mate, there was a tiny thrum of anxiety: this recognition and this sense of rightness had everything to do with his being a shifter and their being a fated pair, but she didn’t realize that.

Emma didn’t know the whole truth of who or what he was and what this was by proxy. She also didn’t know that he had found her before, and that this wasn’t the first time they’d crossed paths. They’d met in Boston years ago, during a time she’d begun to talk about tonight that he knew had been so hard for her, and she’d made an impact on him even then. Surely he must have done the same since he was a wolf and one whose presence and power defied human logic or explanation. Still, while he wanted to come clean and confess everything to her, Killian couldn’t bring himself to do it right now. Maybe that was selfish of him, but for some reason his heart told him that it still wasn’t the right moment. As much progress as they’d made the past few days, they still needed more time, and though it hurt him to keep things from Emma, he had to trust his instincts, which had gotten him this far and to this perfect woman. 

“I feel the same way, Emma. I know it’s fast, and maybe you think it’s far too soon to be making such statements, but you mean…” he hesitated but ultimately decided to confess as much as he could. “You mean everything, love. I’ve been anchorless in recent years, wandering and wondering what it all means and what my purpose really should be. But in meeting you I feel like I’ve found that. I know I am exactly where I’m meant to be, and though I don’t know exactly what the future holds, I find myself hoping and praying that whatever is in store we’ll see it through, together.”

Emma’s eyes were brimming with emotion and Killian didn’t know what she would say to respond, so when she pulled him down for a kiss he was relieved and ecstatic all at once. Feeling her acceptance and tasting her agreement and desire first hand was indescribable, and in the face of her want for him, Killian let rational thought flee for quite a while. The kiss grew deeper, hotter, and more demanding. The two of them were intertwined more fully, neither wanting even the tiniest bit of space, but just when things were about to dip into more intimacy than was right, Killian pulled back and Emma did the same. Without conversing aloud, they both knew how far this could go, and whether that was the mating bond or a shared concern for seeing this miraculous connection preserved, Killian couldn’t say. He could only think that he was the luckiest of men to be living out this beautiful dream in real time.

“So in this future you were picturing… do you stay in Storybrooke past the summer?”

Though Emma’s breath was shaky from the kisses they’d shared, Killian could still hear the slight sense of bashfulness her question prompted her to feel. She didn’t want to be digging for more it seemed, but Killian immediately set out to ease her fears and worrying and he did so while pushing back a strand of her golden hair that had fallen out during their heated exchange.

“I stay as long as you want me here,” _Wherever you are, there too will I be_ , he thought to himself.

“Well after tonight I can see that being quite a while…” Emma said with a smile that drove him half mad. There were just so many layers: her relief that he was staying, her hope for the future, but also this air of teasing and knowing exactly the kind of effect she had on him that wasn’t bloody fair. It was the smile of a siren, and it fit exactly with the challenge she laid before him. “Do you think you can handle it?”

“Aye, love. In more ways than you know.”

With that promise they gave into another heated embrace out there underneath a growing moon. It was steamy and surreal and so utterly serene that Killian wished it would never end. But eventually the end of the evening did come. Their private cove under the stars must be left, and Killian saw that Emma made it back home safe and sound. And though it was hard to say goodbye, harder than nearly anything he’d ever done before, Killian was assured that he would never really say goodbye to Emma. For in finding her he had cemented his future, and though he couldn’t say exactly how it would all turn out, he knew it would be everything because he’d have his one true mate. 

**_Post-Note: So there we have it. I hope this first date chapter lived up to people’s expectations and I am really excited to see what you guys think! Now for the bad news… because of all the other chapters I have planned to post in the next few weeks it’s going to take a little longer to get the next chapter to you guys. Instead of two weeks from today, it will likely be three. BUT, despite having started up at school again, I have managed to write up through chapter 11 of the fic, and I have got big big pay offs coming when I can eventually post. Hope you guys will forgive the extra time off. Either way thank you all so much for reading and I hope you have a great rest of your day!_ **


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N: Hey everyone – so this chapter is from Killian’s POV again. I originally had it planned to jump to Emma’s, but then I ended up having so much I wanted to write that I had to add a chapter. This one takes about a week after the first date, and it includes a Killian/David conversation, a critical flashback (which is darker than my usual stuff, but I wrote it so it’s probably more like angst-light), and then some CS cuteness to make up for it. I hope that you guys enjoy and would love to hear what you all think! Thank so much for reading!_ **

Staring out from the stretch of beach where he and Emma had their first date about a week ago, Killian found a strength and a solace that he was in dire need of. 

That wasn’t to say that things weren’t going well with Emma, they were. Still there was something that kept him from feeling the true depths of happiness a mate should provide. It had nothing to do with Emma either, for she was perfect in every way. She managed to spark something in him that made him better by mere association, and she inspired him more than anyone ever had before. The problem was his and his alone, and it all stemmed on the fact that he still had not told her who he truly was.

Since meeting Emma, Killian had known that the truth of what he was would have to be revealed. There was no way to hide his nature, and, to be honest, he wouldn’t want to even if he could, at least not long term. His greatest wish was the chance to be completely open with Emma, to let her see each side of him, the good, bad, and the ugly, for only then could she decide what was right for her. He hoped that she would choose him still, but he didn’t know for certain. All things indicated Emma being open minded and full of care and kindness, but this secret was so much to handle. She would have to learn of a whole new world, and that was before finding out about Killian’s lineage and his darkened familial past.

In that past lay Killian’s surest worry, for in his heart, underneath the anxiety and the worry, he knew Emma would love him even as he was. She would be shocked to find out he was both man and wolf, but it wouldn’t stop this thing between them. His past though… well that would be harder for her to empathize with since she had a tight-knit and adoring family. They had faced trials, but none like the demons in his world, and while Emma was capable of nearly anything, he didn’t know if she could put herself in his shoes. Would she understand the choices he’d made and the actions he’d taken? Or would the man he’d been prove to be a scar she couldn’t look past?

Killian didn’t know what Emma would do, but as he stood there on the shoreline, gazing out into the expanse of blue/grey ocean and feeling the lick of a cool coastal breeze against his skin, his mind wandered back to that man, and his most horrible, morally reprehensible deed…

_Stalking through the dense underbrush of the forest surrounding his father’s compound, Killian knew he made no noise and left virtually no trace. He had perfected all skills of the hunt over the past few years, forcing himself to become a natural predator. He understood the way winds shifted and why the earth made sounds beneath each creature in the woods. He exploited that knowledge to move closer and closer to his destination, and as he did so he fought off the remembrances of this land and the life he once had here._

_As a child Killian had free range of the compound and the miles and miles of land surrounding it. He and his family were revered amongst the clan that lived in these mountains, and though he and Liam had never been old enough to shift, their father had believed it was their duty to learn this place from top to bottom. His methods had often bordered on reckless, like the time he stole Killian from his bed one night only to drop him in the middle of the woods two miles off from home. Killian had woken up alone and terrified, but the only thing he feared worse than the woods was his father’s anger. As such he’d never cried out for help. He only did his best to track back home. It took him hours, but finally he found his way. When he was back his mother was a wreck, barely holding it together, and Liam looked like he might pop off at their father at any moment, but his father had offered only a sickening grin and a twisted bit of commentary._

“A whole two hours faster than your, brother. We might make something of you yet.”

_That incident was one of the reasons that Killian’s mother had decided to run. She had known for a long time that his father was a monstrous man, but with Liam at least Brennan had waited until he was twelve for such a perilous test. At barely seven, Killian was that much less equipped to find his way and survive the night. He could have died out there in the autumn chill, and though he was but a boy he’d realized how wrong that was. A father who could do that held no love in his heart for his child, and that was just another reason that killing him tonight would be a relief and not a burden. Killian’s heart was filled with hatred and resentment. He should never have been treated that way, and neither should Liam or their mother. Brennan was evil incarnate, and to have such twisted actions come from ‘family’ was the worst thing imaginable…_

Calm yourself, Killian. Don’t think of him. Think of us. We’re stronger together. He can’t win, not if it’s you _and_ me he’s fighting.

_The mental command from Liam was predictable but also necessary. Killian was getting carried away with his emotions and his brother was right – he couldn’t let his thoughts run away with him. He had to take that hurt and hate and wield something stronger. Giving into remembrances would distract him, and since the time had come to make their move, distraction could not come. Instead he should focus on his and Liam’s bond – they were of one mind these days, and their animals needed to be in tune to face this._

Two guards at the front, and four – no five – inside _, Killian said through their telepathic link. After a moment he felt Liam’s agreement come through their bonded connection._

It’s time. You know what to do.

_Killian did know and his wolf let out a low growl in anticipation. His paws flexed along the ground before he moved into position. It was his job to stay hidden for the time being. Liam would create the diversion to draw out more of the guards, which took the form of a loud and harrowing howl, and then Killian would strike. They’d gone over this a hundred times, and at first it went just as expected. Killian found the high ground as Liam purposefully gave himself away. The scouts began to sniff the air and still caught nothing, only when Liam was ready did they sense him, and then all hell broke loose._

_The small army that their father had collected over the years was fearsome by any shifter standards, but for Liam and Killian, they proved to be a test that was easily withstood. Liam alone took down the two guarding the outside, making sure to injure and not kill as he did. Killian didn’t care if the whole lot of them were slaughtered, since they each of them enabled Brennan and subjected their own families to his ruthless ways, but Liam insisted that it wasn’t right. Finally Killian agreed, if only because it would save him strength for when the time came to take down his father._

_With each opponent they took down, Killian could feel them getting closer to that goal. He sustained some hits from their enemies, but instead of it lessening his strength, Killian felt empowered with every small victory. He absorbed the pain and made it something new, something wild and indestructible. Of the five remaining, Killian alone took down four, and he would have taken them all if Liam hadn’t again counseled him for restraint._

Save your strength, brother. You’ll need all of it.

_Killian knew he was right, and he watched as Liam made quick work of their last attacker. When they were all down, the world around Liam and Killian was quiet again, but in the quiet there was a sinister thrill that crept up Killian’s spine. Their father knew they were here, and he was waiting for them, making them enter his space one final time if they wanted to take him down._

_Wordlessly Liam and Killian moved forward, still in wolf form. Their breathing was schooled, their stamina high as they stalked in, but when they finally saw their father he was in human form. In the ten years that they’d been apart, Brennan had done some changing. He was bigger now, though his hair had started to show silver in the midnight black Killian remembered. But the most altered thing about him wasn’t the harder lines of his face or the bulk of his body – it was his eyes. They were fractured, with the once gold irises taking on a sallow tint. There was no longer a solid ring of color, but jagged pieces like broken glass. It was unnatural and unnerving, and Killian believed it must be because of the sickness. Either way, Brennan looked completely undaunted by either of them, and instead he smiled in a way that spoke to a true mental dissociation._

_“Well, it took you two long enough to get here.”_

_Killian repressed the urge to growl at the words, but he wouldn’t give his father the satisfaction. Instead he remained stony, his muscles tight and ready to charge._

_“So, are you going to stand there all night or are you going to shift so we can talk this out as men? Your mother wasn’t the brightest, but whatever witch she got to block you all certainly was.”_

_The urge to lunge and go for his father’s throat was too strong, and Killian was a second away from doing it when Liam surprised him by shifting. Killian was too shocked to think of what his brother could be doing, but he heard Liam’s mental ‘_ trust me, _’ and realized his brother must have a plan._

_“There’s nothing to talk out. You know what you did, and it’s time you’ve paid for all you sins.”_

_Liam’s words were forceful and earnest. They resonated in a way that spoke to their being a very real threat from a man who took honor and character seriously, but their father didn’t take it that way. Instead he laughed maniacally and the sound sent a chill through Killian. He’d been a madman before, but now Brennan was just completely mad._

_“And I suppose you’re going to be the one to do it? Tell me, Liam, did time do anything to ease those insecurities of yours? Did living half a world away finally let you believe you were an equal shifter to your brother?”_

_“It’s never been about who is strongest,” Liam said, not taking the bait. “The only thing that matters is together we can defeat you.”_

_“How… moronic of you to think that way,” Brennan said, losing interest in Liam as he set his eyes back to Killian. His look of approval was sickening to Killian, mostly because as a boy he’d wanted it so badly. Now it made him ill to think that Brennan saw a single thing he liked about him. “You were always supposed to be my second, Killian. Your mother knew that – it’s why she ran. She sought to steal that right from you. She couldn’t see what you were meant for. Seemed in securing strong bloodlines I sacrificed having a mate with real sense.”_

_Liam and Killian stared at their father, who had just opened a door to a question both brothers had long held close. How in the world could their parents have been mates? What could have possibly possessed their mother to submit to a mating with a devil made flesh like him?_

_“I see your mother never told you the truth,” Brennan said with another chuckle as he flexed muscles and brought his hands together, stretching leisurely, as if the fight before them wouldn’t be to the death. “Allow me to illuminate you – your mother was an investment. She came from a good family, with a rich alpha tradition and I wanted sons born of a certain stock. She, meanwhile, wanted a ‘fated mate.’ Typical womanly foolishness.”_

_“You faked it somehow, didn’t you?” Liam asked, his voice so hard from hatred Killian thought that he himself had spoken aloud._

_“I forced a witch to help me… shall we say… convince your mother of our bond. She believed that it was meant to be, and I played the part until I had what I needed – heirs. My only mistake was in thinking your mother a push over. Turned out she had a bit of smarts after all – eluding me all that time. I was almost impressed enough to let her live.”_

_The insult to his mother proved too much to bear, and without any words to Liam Killian attacked, charging his father who immediately shifted into his animal form. Things from there were messy and hectic. It was a tussle that seemed nearly impossible. Brennan was practically double his size, having so many years on them and so little human instinct left. He was ruthless and underhanded, but at one moment, when it looked like he’d earned the upper hand on Liam, Killian found his opening. Without any hesitation or delay he struck, taking his father by the throat and ending him, much to his father’s surprise._

_Wounded beyond his shifter ability to heal, Brennan’s body moved back to human form instinctively. As his hands moved up to his injured neck he looked almost happy with what had happened despite the fact that he would die. The mania in his eyes was undeniable, and the fractured black lines that were there before seemed to shatter before filling in with the color of his blackened soul. Slowly the gold of a healthy wolf turned nightshade, and with his dying breath he left Killian with some final, chilling words._

_“You are what I always wished you would be."_

_A few moments passed where the adrenaline remained astronomical. Killian waited, watching, and almost doubting that his father could truly be dead but he was. His body lay there, lifeless and unable to be revived, but where he expected relief and release, Killian felt the shadows of his misery creeping up on him. He and Liam might have defeated their father in the end, but somehow Brennan had still wounded him severely. By making him a killer – by making Killian like him – he’d taken something from him, and it was too late to take it back. Killian might have done what needed doing, but he had blackened his own heart to take his father out._

_“You did it,” Liam whispered, sounding like he was still in awe of all that had happened. “You really did it.”_

_“We did it,” Killian said, but his voice was dull and sounded far away even to his own ears._

_As the high of the hunt and the fervor of a kill settled, Killian felt more and more consumed with the crushing weight of what he had done. The last few years of Killian’s life he had been living just for this chance. He wanted revenge and now he had it. The deed was done, his mother avenged, but who was he now? Was he the man he’d been when all of this began, a man he barely remembered? Or was he the monster made in his father’s image that Brennan believed him to be. Killian couldn’t decipher for himself so he turned to face Liam, and then his heart plummeted in his chest._

_“He bit you,” Killian whispered, and Liam made a noise that might be considered laughter but came more from residual fear than anything else._

_“No he didn’t…” Liam’s hand moved up to where Killian was looking, just at Liam’s upper arm and then he froze. When he moved again he brought his hand to gazing distance and he saw what Killian saw – blood. He’d been bitten. Oh God, what could they do?! …._

“Has anyone ever told you that you’ve got the whole brooding, lone wolf thing down pat?” 

The sound of Tink’s voice pulled Killian from his thoughts and this time he didn’t bother getting worked up over the fact that she’d snuck up on him. This was a favorite pastime of the town’s resident Lynx and he’d given up pretending he could outdo her, especially when he was in the thick of such a memory. He tried to compose himself and mentally shake away the darkness before responding.

“Glad I fit the part. Has something happened?” he asked, not sure why Tink would seek him out on her own. 

“Doc Nolan is looking for you,” she said with a smile. Killian’s stomach lurched and her grin grew even wider. Yeah, Tink definitely knew how uncomfortable but also important this moment would be. “He was thinking you should stop by. Emma’s offsite this morning.”

“You could try not to look so pleased, you know,” Killian said and Tink laughed, the sound light and airy and in full contrast to his own feelings.

“I could, but why bother? This is going to be hilarious. I only wish I had better seats.” 

Killian didn’t bother confirming with her what that meant. He had a vague idea, and it involved Tink listening from some distance away. With shifter hearing she could be anywhere within three blocks and hear the conversation, and Killian would bet anything that she was going to pretend to canvass around the clinic just for a chance to overhear the impending interaction. Instead of fighting it he only sighed, dusting off some of the sand from his clothing and heading out in the direction that he needed to go. Tink offered a chipper ‘good luck’ and he accepted it, knowing he would likely need it when talking with Emma’s father. 

The build up to getting to this moment was unnerving, and Killian ran through a few scenarios in his mind. This could go a number of ways, but Killian was hoping that since David Nolan already knew of shifters, he wouldn’t be quite so opposed to Killian and Emma’s mating. The problem was this was more than an ordinary run of the mill shifter and a human dating. This was him, Killian Jones, heir to the Jones clan and probably the best known runaway wolf on the entire continent.

It remained to be seen how much of his back-story would be known by Doc Nolan. As a healer, David would surely know shifter law and custom, but he might not be up on gossip or clan history. But when Killian finally walked into the clinic and he was face to face with the father of the woman he loved, Killian’s suspicions increased. At the very least David was skeptical of Killian, but he played it cool as he greeted him.

“Killian, glad you could make it. Please, come with me.”

Killian followed Emma’s father’s lead, but he was surprised when they passed his office and instead went down to the exam room.

“I hope you don’t mind, I still have a full day of patients but I thought it was about time we talked. Seems fitting to ask the town’s newest wolf what exactly his intentions are with my daughter.” 

Killian swallowed harshly at the blunt words, but he trusted David to know when it was safe to speak of such things. The clinic’s receptionist was in the building, but with human hearing she was out of distance to pick up on this. As such, Killian was free to tell the truth.

“My intentions are to love her as my fated mate deserves.” 

For the first time David looked surprised, and Killian could see he had completely flipped the tables on him. His mouth opened but words didn’t come out until he cleared his throat and tried again. 

“I’m sorry, did you just say mate?” David asked.

“Aye. Emma is the one. I believe you know what that means.”  


“Well yes, technically. I mean I’ve met plenty of mates before,” Doc Nolan acknowledged as he shook his head, the disbelief still clear as day in his expression. “But Emma’s human, and humans and shifters… it’s impossible.”

“It’s long been thought to be, yes. But meeting your daughter has proven that perhaps nothing is ever so finite. I was meant to find her again, and I did. The bond won’t be denied.”

“Again?” David asked and Killian’s brow burrowed in confusion. “You just said you found Emma again. When did you find her the first time?”

Killian internally groaned. He hadn’t actually meant to tell Emma’s father this, but perhaps it was for the best. Maybe if he knew of Killian’s past actions to protect her, he would believe him a suitable match for his daughter. But as Killian told the story, David seemed more guilt-stricken than impressed.

“It always killed me to let her think I didn’t believe her,” David said. “When she finally told her mother and I what happened, she had already half convinced herself it was a dream, and then the way she described it all, I hoped that it was. A red-eyed aggressor and an unknown savior… it didn’t add up. But you’re telling me it’s real, and I let her…”

“You did what you thought was best,” Killian said, feeling for Emma’s father and the choice he had to make between telling Emma the truth and keeping her safe from the counsel. “Knowing would have only put her at risk, and now she can know. She’ll be protected, and she’ll forgive you.”

“How do you know that?” 

“Because she’s Emma,” Killian said, knowing that was explanation enough even as he continued on. “Because she’s goodness itself and she loves you. And when Emma loves she loves forever.”

“You know because you love her,” David said, his tone filled with understanding as Killian nodded.

“More than anything. It’s not just the bond either. It’s deeper than that. I thought of her before I knew – before the match was made. I never stopped thinking of her all this time. She was always meant for me. I just have to try and be enough for her.”

“Do you think you can do that? Can you be the man she deserves?” 

Killian nodded again. “I would do anything for Emma.” 

“And do you think that she loves you too?”

“I hope she does,” Killian said honestly.

For a moment David was quiet, taking this all in and trying to digest it. It became clear as the seconds ticked by that David was a man guided by reason. Killian was glad for that, because Emma had told him that reasonable or not, her Dad did have those customary paternal instincts of protection that bordered on being overbearing. Even so, David seemed amiable, and his acceptance came much faster than Killian could have ever hoped. 

“It’s really a miracle when you think about it. You know what it means for the world that our two species can be bonded? It’s…”

“Incredible, I know.” 

The two of them had reached an understanding, though there was still much more to say. Killian had questions of his own, questions of how David knew of shifters in the first place and if he had ever been planning to tell Emma, but just then familiar footsteps sounded down the hall, and Killian knew she was here. 

“Emma,” he said and David looked confused before the door opened up, revealing she was there. 

“Dad? Killian?” she asked, clearly concerned at the two of them being together. “Everything okay?”

“More than,” her Dad said easily as he finished up what appeared to be routine shots with his tiny patient. “Killian and I were just talking as he waited for you to get back.”

“Oh,” Emma said, sounding happy despite herself and offering Killian a smile that he readily returned. “Well I didn’t know you were coming. I don’t really have a lunch break today. There’s a lot going on…” 

“Nothing I can’t handle. Why don’t you kids go? Take the rest of the day. There’s only so much summer sun left to be had,” her father urged, prompting Killian to grin. To think he’d come in here assuming the worst, but here was Emma’s father practically pushing them together.

“Seriously?” Emma asked, flabbergasted. Killian took Emma’s hand, surprising her even further since she her father was right there. 

“Best not to question such an offer, love. The day will be far more enjoyable spent with you, and I’ve been hoping to see more of Storybrooke.” 

“Well in that case…” Emma laughed before going around the table and kissing her Dad on the cheek. “See you later Dad, and thanks!” 

They waved goodbye as they left, and Killian and David shared a knowing look. There was still more to discuss, but it could wait for another day. For now he could focus on Emma and try to enjoy her company as much as he possibly could. That was much easier done when they were out of the clinic and headed out into the world. Having Emma’s hand in his and knowing that they had unexpected time together was the best kind of surprise, and when she asked him if he wanted to see one of her favorite places in town, his answer was an instantaneous ‘yes.’

“I take it that this spot isn’t exactly in the thick of everything,” Killian said as they walked from the clinic in the opposite direction of town. It seemed they were headed towards the woods, which surprised Killian but made him somehow more excited.

“Not even a little bit. I honestly don’t know if anyone else even knows about it,” Emma said with a thoughtful smile. “It’s kind of my place, for better or worse.”

Her statement was loaded, and Killian wondered why a place could be bad. If it was one of her favorites, surely it should only have good memories associated with it, but then again life was more complex than that, and he knew that first hand. Whatever it was about this little corner of the world that spoke to Emma, he would trust in her judgment, and as they moved further and further into the woods, Killian marveled at the fact that she had managed to find a place he himself had yet to track.

“Are you sure this spot is in Storybrooke’s purview, love? This has been quite a trek so far.”

“Losing steam already? How disappointing,” Emma teased back, the easy banter between them prompting a laugh from Killian. “Don’t worry. We’re almost there… wait for it… now.” 

Moving past a low hanging willow, whose brush had been obscuring the actual spot Emma had discovered, Killian took in the splendor of this grove of forest. It was somehow even greener than the rest and the sunlight here, though filtered through the canopies above, was present enough for a golden light to shine. There were wild flowers scattered throughout, but the grassy knoll built up to a hill that met up with the highest part of Storybrooke. Killian had found a portion of that high ground before when he was scouting the town upon his arrival, but he completely missed this place. And that was a shame, since it really was a diamond in the rough.

“So what do you think?” Emma asked and Killian squeezed her hand before looking at her. 

“I think it’s amazing, Emma.” 

And he did. It was more than aesthetically pleasing too. Whether she was conscious of it or not Emma had picked a place built for safe harbor. It was hidden away and ensconced in a landscape that would hide scents easier than the average grove. Because of the slight unevenness of the land, the winds would work best for a predator here, and the easy access to the high ground was something that Killian always valued, even though he was so many miles away from the problems of his past. If Killian didn’t know any better he would think Emma had a shifter’s instincts. But maybe this was the byproduct of their bond. He found himself pushing for more details to see if that were possible.

“How did you find this place?”

“Running,” Emma admitted, leading him to a row of boulders that were smooth and more comfortable than most natural settings ever allowed. The two of them took a seat, remaining close, their hands still intertwined. “My parents couldn’t really seem to keep me in one place very long. As a kid I was constantly going, going, going and by high school, when they let me run the trails myself, there was no stopping me. There probably isn’t a single part of these woods I haven’t seen, but this spot always felt best.”

“I haven’t noticed you running much lately,” Killian said, wondering if, as he suspected, something had changed her habits around the time she was in Boston.

“When Neal got sick and we relocated it just… didn’t come naturally. I wasn’t cut out for running around a track or on a treadmill. The best part of running was the fresh air, but I was nervous about the city already and then…”

Emma trailed off, and Killian knew that she was thinking about the night they met. Only Emma didn’t realize that he’d witnessed her trauma first hand. He could only imagine how much that must have scared her. It had terrified him and she’d only been a stranger then. Now, thinking back… God he’d come too close to losing her without them really even having a chance.

“But you’re back now, love,” Killian said moving her closer and wrapping his arm around her. She nuzzled in, appreciating the affection, and Killian breathed in deeply, taking in her scent and finding that despite the bad memories she wasn’t anxious or upset. She was still calm and collected, and he was so happy to play even a little part of that. “And if it’s a partner you’re needing, I happily offer up my services.”

Emma glanced at him, her eyes lighting up from the words. The humor he saw there was infectious, but so was the spark of attraction. She had heard his words and thought it was dipped in innuendo, which wasn’t actually his intention. Then again, subconsciously he always wanted Emma, and it made sense that his mind might work against his patient tactics in the hope of having something more.

“That wasn’t the kind of _exercise_ I was thinking you’d help with,” Emma said, her voice sultry and low as her fingers traced down his chest. In an instant his body was flooded with adrenaline and lust. He knew exactly what his mate wanted, and he could sense that she was serious, but then her sexy smile broke into laughter. “That sounded cornier than I meant it to. You know what I mean.”

“Oh I definitely know, Emma,” Killian replied, her laughter catching in her throat as the heat returned again. Their bodies were inching closer, the tension in the air thick and tantalizing, and Killian wasn’t strong enough to resist. His mouth came down to hers, their lips melding together and their kiss grew as time went on.

Out here in the woods, they were assured of complete privacy. There was no one around, of that Killian was entirely sure, and knowing that sparked ideas in Killian’s mind. The thoughts he had were dirty and primal. His hands roamed over Emma and he thought about taking her clothes off piece by piece. He could tease and torment them with purposeful slowness, or he could gratify them both by ripping the thin cotton she was wearing to shreds. He loved that idea, and his wolf growled inside for him to choose that course. It was time to have her, to claim, to mate –

_Not like this,_ the rational part of him thought aloud in his head. Emma deserves more than a roll around in the woods. _She’s everything, and she should be treated as such._

Retreating from the kiss was a battle of sheer will, and Killian didn’t know if he had the ability to overcome, but somehow he did. In the moment that they broke apart, Killian kept his eyes fixated on Emma, searching for her thoughts and her feelings. Her eyes were closed still, her sensations delayed, and when she blinked them open and looked at him Killian swore he fell even deeper into her. For there, emanating from those gorgeous jade pools that were the window to her every thought and wish, was an unfiltered love. Emma told him with a simple look that this was more than physical need, and though he could never resent that look, it almost wasn’t fair. How could he resist the woman he loved? How could he ever tell her no? 

“I don’t get how it’s possible, but I feel like I always know exactly what you’re thinking,” Emma whispered, like the connection between them truly amazed her but was also second nature.

“Do you, love?”

“Mhmm. And right now you’re thinking sex in the woods might not be our best bet.”

Hearing Emma acknowledge how far this could go between them sent a shot of want through him. His stance tightened by only a fraction, but he knew Emma caught it since she mirrored immediately. Flicking her gaze back down to his mouth, she bit her lip in a move of resistance, and it made him want to pounce. No one had any business being so damn tempting, and keeping himself in check around Emma was near impossible.

“Rest assured love, I’ve no aversion to wide open spaces typically,” he said, trying to repress more images of the two of them wrapped up together out amongst the natural world. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Emma whispered, her hands running over him with purposeful seduction. It was a playful touch, but it was also one Emma needed right now. Killian knew from personal experience that letting go wasn’t an option right now, and he knew his mate felt the same, whether she understood why or not.

“It’s just that you’re a woman, Emma.” That was an obvious comment, and humor entered Emma’s eyes before he clarified his thoughts. “You’re the best kind of woman, and when we go there -,”

“And we _will_ go there,” Emma said, surprising herself when the words were blurted aloud, and turning a bit pink from embarrassment. Killian meanwhile found he had to laugh and he pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth before continuing.

“Aye, love. We _will_ go there. But when we do, it’ll be more than a romp in the woods. I want nothing but time, and a full understanding of who we are and what we want. I need to know you’re with me, Emma. I need everything laid out between us, because when we take that step there will be no going back.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to explain why that was. This wasn’t just an expression. Their lives and relationship really would be fundamentally changed when they cemented their fated bond. There were no re-dos or break ups in mated life. True mates were always and forever connected, and Killian knew that Emma and he were as real as they come, despite her being human. Perhaps her status had made their pull even stronger. He wouldn’t be surprised, not given how he was already feeling. Still, as much as he wanted to tell her the truth, there was a selfish part of him that held his tongue captive. He was too afraid to push things too quickly, and so he kept quiet, knowing that soon he would have no such luxury. The full moon would be here in just about a week, and Emma had to know by then. She simply had to.

“I love the way you care so much,” Emma said, her soft, warm voice pulling him from the worry he’d been facing. Her eyes were lit up with truth and with care of her own, and it made Killian’s heart swell in his chest to see her so happy. “And I trust you, Killian. Whatever’s coming – because I can tell by the look in your eyes that you think that something is, in fact, coming – it’s going to be okay. Whatever it is, it won’t break us.”

“I don’t deserve you, Emma,” Killian said pressing his forehead against hers as he breathed her in, trying to capture her goodness and her breathtaking show of support to hold onto forever. “But I promise I will do my best to be better. To do better. For you.”

“For _us_ ,” she countered, and then, after taking his hand and kissing the top of it sweetly, in a gesture he had used on her far more than once, Emma stood from their spot, keeping his hand in hers. “And we’ll have to come back to the whole who deserves who nonsense, because I’m not so sure I’m buying that. But first, I need -,”

“Let me guess… grilled cheese and onion rings?” Killian asked and Emma looked pleased, but also moved to say something else before Killian jumped in with the rest. “And a chocolate milkshake with a dash of cinnamon.” 

“You really do get me,” Emma said with a laugh and Killian couldn’t help pulling her closer and wrapping his arms around her as she leaned into his side. 

She was right after all, but what Killian left unsaid was that he more than ‘got’ her. He loved her, he understood her, and he cherished every part of her that made her the woman that she was. There was nothing about Emma that needed changing, nothing that could dull the shine of his mate in his eyes, and Killian only hoped that he got to stand in her light for many, many years to come.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it – as I said there was some definite darkness in this chapter. I mean you knew I eventually had to show their father and how that showdown turned out. But the Liam stuff… well, let’s just say that part is still to come. I hope that I managed to right some wrongs with the CS fluff and the David/Killian talk though, and I think you can all relax and enjoy in the fact that next chapter we get the big reveal. It will be from Emma’s POV, but there are definitely more puzzle pieces to be found and put in place. Hope you all enjoyed, and as always I would love to hear what you thought! Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you have a great rest of your day!_ **


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N: Hey all! So, as promised, we are back with a new chapter (though I am a day later than my usual posting schedule) and this one is arguably the big one. Finally the reveal is here and I have been waiting for it for what feels like forever. It’s going to take a little bit to get there – after all, I can’t just drop the bomb with no ease in, but by the end of the chapter Emma will know the truth and we will all know her reaction. Without giving too much more away, I’ll leave you all to read. Let me know what you think and I hope you all enjoy!_ **

If someone had told Emma even a month ago that she’d willingly walk down the street hand in hand with a man in front of the whole town, she would have called them crazy. That was absolutely not the kind of thing she ever did, but here she was, braving the Fourth of July festivities, proudly holding tight to Killian’s grasp as they made their way down Main Street and over to the park where the town-wide cookout was already in full swing.

“So you’re really sure you want to do this?” Emma asked, teasing Killian when he had made it abundantly clear that this was _exactly_ what he wanted. “It’s not too late to duck out.” 

“And miss the chance to turn up with the world’s most beautiful woman on my arm? Never.” 

Emma melted into his compliment, despite how over the top it was, and she marveled at how honest he was being and how she couldn’t deny how much he meant the words. They’d been together for a few weeks now, and in all that time Killian bestowed such praise on her constantly. But it never tipped over into the realm of flattery just for flattery’s sake. It was charming, but it was also real, and it left her feeling as beautiful as he believed her to be while also tempting her to say screw it and skip this cookout entirely. The things that she wanted to do with this man were hardly appropriate for this public setting, and if the past few weeks had taught her anything, it was that Emma was a lot less patient than she once thought.

A few weeks – really only two of actually dating – was a very short window to feel this possessive of what they had. Emma was protective of their relationship, and she cherished it far more than a passing fling or ordinary courtship. It felt big and bold, and traditionally, this was the stage of a relationship where people started labeling things, maybe calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend. But that particular label didn’t seem like enough. Somehow, since meeting Killian, Emma had realized that there was a trivialness to that once aspired to status. It felt like a temporary step before either a couple would break or move on to more. And sure, maybe people dated for years and years without officially taking things further, but in her heart Emma already felt like she and Killian were more.

That feeling was something she’d been clinging to the past few weeks. For all the growing and sharing they were doing together, and for all the time they’d spent in each other’s company (which never did feel like enough), Emma could still feel some boundaries that simply wouldn’t budge, and she wondered why they were up at all. On her end this felt like a given. She was so confident in the two of them, and though they’d never said the words, Emma knew that Killian loved her. He was _in_ love with her, and she felt the exact same way. So what was left between them that was going unsaid? And why did Emma feel like it mattered a whole heck of a lot?

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to know your thoughts right now, love,” Killian murmured as they arrived at the park entrance.

There were people milling about, streaming in to get to the party, but Emma and Killian stopped, standing still in the ebb and flow of foot traffic. Emma turned towards him, meeting his stare after he’d made his comment, and she saw in his gaze that he had picked up on everything she was feeling. He might not know exactly what was bothering her, but he knew something was off, and the look in his eyes was so resolute and certain that she knew he was determined to rid her of any burdens she was carrying. That care and love she saw there only made her fall a little bit more in love, but as much as she wanted to tell him, as much as Emma would like to put it all on the table and be honest with him, she knew it wasn’t the time or place. With their luck her friends or her parents would pop up any second, and the last thing she wanted was to tell Killian that she loved him for the first time with an audience.

“Good thinking. Probably best not to have such a conversation where we could be ambushed.”

Emma gaped at him for a moment before succumbing to laughter. He was funny in his delivery, and the humor was undeniable, but it was also eerie how spot on he was. She knew she hadn’t said anything aloud, but he understood her completely anyway. How was that possible? How could any two people be so in tune with each other? And why didn’t she hate it after spending her life trying to maintain her privacy in a small town where privacy was fleeting?

“Are you like a secret mind reader or something?” She asked, raising a brow at him and taking stock of him all over as if trying to find some kind of physical sign that he was telepathic.

“I’m an _Emma_ reader, and I hate to break it to you, love, but you’re somewhat of an open book.”

“I am not,” Emma said, shaking her head though she still found herself smiling all the same. “You can ask anyone. I’ve got a perfect poker face. I’m undefeated at the legion hall charity games – the definition of cool and collected.”

“With everyone else I dare say you are, love. But with me…” Killian’s words trailed off as he stepped closer, his arms wrapping around her and his fingertips leaving blissful zings of awareness where they brushed against her bare skin. “With _us_ , it’s different. We know each other better than we know ourselves. We’ve learned it fast, but still it’s there. Like a language only we speak.”

“And apparently I can’t shut off the transmission,” Emma said, her voice a bit breathier since Killian was so close and she was wrapped up in his scent, and warmth and big strong arms. 

“Would you want to if you could?” Killian asked, a bit of concern crossing into his previously relaxed and happy expression. Instantly Emma sought to rectify it, and she did so by answering him honestly.

“No. I love what we have. I wouldn’t want to change it.” 

Thoughtfulness colored his features at that, and while it didn’t alarm Emma, it did remind her of her earlier thoughts. Killian was hiding something, something that worried him. There was a secret he was holding onto, presumably something he thought would change what they already had. But even though Emma didn’t know what it could be, she wanted to tell him that it wouldn’t change things. Whatever he was worried about – whatever he deemed necessary to hold back when they’d always been nothing but open – it wouldn’t ruin this, and it was nothing that they couldn’t handle together. She knew that deep down in her soul.

“Knowing you want this and want me is the greatest gift, love, and I fully intend to show you how grateful I am tonight. But right now…”

“Let me guess, incoming?” Emma asked, knowing that for whatever reason, Killian was always able to tell way before she was when someone was approaching to interrupt one of their interludes.

“Aye, love. Don’t worry though, I’ll protect you.”

His whispered words as Elsa and Anna appeared had Emma chuckling softly to herself, and after giving her best friends a hug, she returned to holding Killian’s hand and began to experience this annual party with a totally new view. It was a very different experience to spend the day like this. Of course she and Elsa and Anna had all been coming together for ages, but they knew the routine like the back of their hand. Killian though was a novice still at Storybrooke’s ways and customs, and watching his reactions to all of it and seeing how excited and desirous to participate he was made Emma’s already present love for her town’s antics grow all the more.

“Okay, so we’ve had food, we’ve made the rounds, we kissed the Captain’s wheel…”

“Which I still don’t get to be honest,” Killian whispered low enough so only Emma could hear as Anna went about listing what they’d already done. It was a Storybrooke tradition to kiss the old ship’s wheel statue in the park at this festival every year, but no one really knew why that was or how the tradition started. Seeing Killian’s reaction to it had been hilarious because he seemed to be the only rational one in attendance, but even with the weirdness, he ended up complying. Just the thought of his reaction, however, made Emma laugh, and she muffled the giggle by ducking into him and using him to keep the sound quiet.

“Now the only thing left to do is rumble!” Anna announced gleefully.

“Rumble? Like a fight?” Killian asked, his stance tensing ever so slightly as he moved to bring Emma a bit closer. It was a protective action, one that Emma appreciated though it wasn’t actually needed. She clarified for Anna, speaking in terms an outsider could understand. 

“Every year we duke it out at the game tents. It’s a big thing – we play every game and whoever ends with the biggest prize wins,” Emma said, and while she saw that Killian was appeased that there wouldn’t actually be physical violence, he was clearly still concerned about the terminology. Elsa, however, chose this time to cut in. 

“But one year when we were kids, the orders got messed up for the game prizes. Emma’s Mom ordered normal fair things like stuffed animals and blow up toys and instead the town got five hundred fake WWE championship belts.”

“You’re kidding,” Killian said, not believing it at all, but then he looked at Emma and his eyes widened. “Seriously?”

“Oh yeah,” Emma replied. “And, never one to let the unexpected cramp her style, Mom really leaned in. Most of us didn’t know anything about professional wrestling -,”

“Heck we still don’t,” Elsa interrupted with a laugh as Emma smiled.

“But all the adults made a really big effort to make it cool for one night so that we wouldn’t be disappointed when all we got was a belt.” Killian’s eyes softened at that and he nodded, silently acknowledging how touching and fun that must have been.

“So to honor that night – and to honor Emma’s Dad’s job, which was just to keep yelling ‘Let’s get ready to rumble!’ the whole time – we call this the rumble.”

The laugh Killian let loose at the story prompted Emma and her friends to laugh as well. It was, after all, a very funny thing, and Emma could still remember her Dad that night. He knew nothing about wrestling, except for some old catch phrase, but he’d done everything in his power to see them all enjoy themselves, and he had definitely succeeded.

“Well, I might not be the best, seeing as I haven’t been to a fair in… I couldn’t even say how long,” Killian admitted. “But if it’s a rumble we’re having, then I’m in.” 

“Great!” Anna said gleefully, and her tone was so chipper it spoke to some kind of scheming. Before Emma could rein her in though, she was already presenting her thoughts. “So I’m thinking you versus Elsa. You fight for Emma, Elsa fights for me, winner gets the better unicorn plushie at the end of this.”

“Anna,” Emma said, not even knowing how to proceed. She wanted to tell her friend that was silly and that she didn’t need Killian to prove himself with some dumb fair games, but then he squeezed her hand and she looked back at his smiling face.

“If you’re okay with cheering me on, I think I’ve got this, love.” How could she say no to that? Between the handsome face and the hot as hell accent, lilting in that heated way she loved so dearly, she was helpless to do anything but accept.

From there, a truly impressive ‘rumble’ proceeded. The four of them went to every tent for every game, and it turned out that Elsa and Killian were well matched. Killian, for his part, was excellent at any game requiring strength and precision, while Elsa was amazing at all the games of chance and seeming randomness. She anticipated better than anyone Emma knew, which usually made her the undisputed winner on fair night, but tonight it was neck and neck, until the final game – the ring toss.

“You couldn’t write this better,” Anna said to Emma as they stood off watching Elsa and Killian prepare for the final event.

“Couldn’t write what?” Emma asked, not following.

“The ring toss,” Anna said, matter of factly. Emma blinked, not knowing what her friend was getting at. “Oh come on, Emma. Killian’s going to win you the title with a ring, and it’s only a matter of time before he gives you a very different kind of ring giving you a very different kind of title.”

Realization sunk in after a moment and Emma blushed as she swatted Anna’s arm. “Anna, shh, he’ll hear you.” 

“Oh please. That man is in love. L-O-V-E, love,” Anna said in what could best be described as a stage whisper. “There are more than wedding bells in the air, Emma. Don’t think we all can’t see that.”

Emma’s stomach flipped at the thought. It was something that was so out of this world – getting married? That couldn’t possibly be on her radar so soon, and yet it was. This was not the first time she had thought about a future with Killian, and that future, at least the ideal one that her heart liked to surmise about, especially in her dreams, did involve getting married someday. If she were honest with herself, the dreams included that day coming way sooner than it probably should too, but she had never vocalized those wants before and she was worried Killian would hear. For all the good that had blossomed between them these past few weeks, and for as fast as she had grown to love him, Emma couldn’t help feeling like there was one last step to take before the future Anna was hinting at. There was one last wall to conquer – one more thing that lay in their path – and while Emma was working on overcoming it, she wouldn’t rush Killian.

As if he could feel her watching him, Killian chose that moment to glance back at her. She didn’t think that he had heard Anna, but she could feel the intensity of his emotion even from the distance. He was more than clear with his thoughts about her and his care for her, and when he smiled it set the anxiety her friend had just let loose fading away. Emma felt exponentially better, and she offered him her own smile before he turned back to take on the toss.

“I really want this,” Emma whispered, her voice low but her meaning more sincere than nearly any words she’d said aloud before. “I want him." 

“And you have him,” Anna said as she came to take Emma’s hand. “Totally and completely.” 

Emma exhaled a deep breath at the words and she smiled again, following Anna’s lead back to Killian and Elsa. They were just about finished with the game. All that was left was one ring on each of their parts. Elsa went first, tossing and almost getting it to stay on the neck of the milk bottle, but it was Killian who was victorious in the end. He cast the ring with a finesse Emma hadn’t expected, and it landed perfectly atop the bottle, making him the victor.

The excitement and the pride that Emma felt in the face of his winning was certifiably over the top. This year’s rumble did not require that she leap into his arms and squeal with the excitement of a kid rather than the woman she was, but Emma didn’t care. She felt so light and free with Killian, and when things were good, she wanted to enjoy how good they really were. Life lived like this was a breath of fresh air, and the cherry on top was when she was back on the ground, still in his arms, and he leaned down to kiss her exactly like the conquering hero did in every romance book she’d ever read.

“Okay, okay we get it. You love each other. No need to give us all a show.” 

Anna’s words brought Emma back into the present, and she knew that a blush had crept over her cheeks at the mention of love, but she didn’t back down. Instead she shook her head with feigned censure, and told Anna that she did want a show. If she didn’t she wouldn’t be so nosy all the time.

“Fair point,” Anna confessed with a shrug. “But since I’m turning over a new, more mature leaf, might I suggest hightailing it out of here? A little birdie told me your Mom is like thirty seconds from popping up.”

“Well we could wait…” Killian offered, not wanting to rush Emma, even though he knew by now what her parents’ appearance would mean. They had said hello and spent a little time with them earlier, but a second meeting would no doubt be longer than the first. Her mother would talk both of them to death, and at the same time she’d thoroughly squash the mood that celebratory kiss had just sparked in Emma.

“Or we could save ourselves and run,” Emma said, pulling him along with her as she cast a goodbye over her shoulder to her friends. “Love you guys, see you tomorrow.” 

Anna and Elsa waived goodbye after them, and, through some stroke of immense luck, Emma and Killian managed to get out of the fair grounds without being spotted by the leaders of the Nolan clan. The rest of the town certainly saw them, and Emma noticed the looks that each neighbor cast their way. What surprised her though was the softness she saw there – people had largely accepted Killian, and they seemed really happy for the two of them. That acceptance made Emma happy. She didn’t need it, but she was glad for it. It would hopefully make the whole telling him he was the one and convincing him that this was a forever kind of thing that much easier.

“So, now that you’ve gotten me alone, what’s the plan, love?”

Killian’s question rumbled from his chest, washing over Emma with a trickle of seduction. He wasn’t even trying to do anything, but Killian was just too hot for her to fully function. She closed her eyes for a second, grounding herself in this and in him, and then she opened them and told him what she wanted. 

“Take me to your place.”

Her request made Killian’s eyes widen, but she knew he wasn’t surprised. Over the last few weeks the heat between them had only been burning hotter and brighter, but despite some kisses that blew her away, and despite the tantalizingly distracting feel of his rough but also gentle touch, Emma and Killian hadn’t taken things to that next step. She’d been ready for it, aching for the chance to be alone with him and make some of her more vivid fantasies real, but Killian had been taking things slowly. Tonight, however, Emma didn’t want slow. She wanted to go all in, and she wanted to now.

“As you wish.”

Emma’s heart thumped loudly in her chest as they walked, hand in hand, from the park where the festivities had been through the town towards his cabin. By the time they reached the woods, Emma’s anticipation was at record levels. Her whole body was swimming with desire, and she could barely contain it. She knew Killian was aware of it too because his jaw had gone hard but his blue eyes were molten every time he looked her way. He seemed seconds away from sweeping her up into his arms and carrying her, and she would have welcomed that, especially in the moment where she got so distracted that her foot caught on a root that was sticking up slightly from the ground below.

Before Emma could hit the earth with a loud and painful thud, Killian had pulled her to him, cradling her in the warm and strong embrace she’d come to love so much. Somehow her back had ended up at his front, but their bodies were aligned perfectly even like this. The breath rushed out of her, and her body had to play catch up for a moment. She had braced herself for a fall, but it simply hadn’t come, and she blinked away the adrenaline before realizing that they were in another stretch of woods she knew very well…

_In the moment just before waking, Emma already knew that she was not where she should be. The ground beneath her was hard, though the grass licked lightly at her skin in a soft and pleasing way. The air was too fresh and too pure for her to be at home and in bed, and the smells around her… she was definitely outside, and that meant it had happened again. She’d had the dream, and she’d left the house as she slept, completely unaware of what she was doing._

_Blinking until the early morning dawn didn’t hurt her eyes so badly, Emma’s first sight was the canopy of the trees she’d ended up in. They were giant pines, tall and proud and ever growing, and while they would be considered beautiful and tranquil at any other time, right now they spiked only fear in Emma. She was outside again, presumably alone out here in the elements, and she didn’t know how to stop it._

_Rising from the ground, Emma noticed how covered she was in dirt. It climbed up her legs from her bare feet, tore at her clothes, and no doubt smudged her face and her neck as it did her hands and arms. She was a mess right now, and the one thing she remembered most from the dream was the howl of a wolf. It was loud, defiant, but also familiar, and Emma could feel it still reverberating through her, as if she herself had made the sound instead of hearing it in a dream._

_Making her way through the woods, trying to remain unseen by anyone who might happen to be out at this ungodly hour, Emma tracked back through the dream. The foundations were the same. It started with that night at the hospital. Two wolves – one good, one bad, fighting over her. She was trapped, she was scared, but then she wasn’t. The midnight one seemed to care for her, to protect her, and then the dream would morph. Suddenly she wasn’t in Boston anymore, she was in the woods, these woods._

_She also wasn’t Emma anymore at this point, at least not really. Her point of view was too low, her movements so different than if she’d been walking or running on her own. She was aware of so much – too much – and the darkness of the world did nothing to deter her. She could see everything, feel everything, and she was totally in control. She’d made her way through her favorite groves, tracking and running, and then at the end, she’d made it to the river and she looked into the water only to see another wolf. This one was so different – a pale, almost white coat making the beast look amazing and other worldly, and it was this animal that howled, this revelation that pushed her mind from sleep to wake._

_Even now, Emma didn’t know what to make of all of this. Why was there a new wolf when she’d been battling familiar ones all this time? And what did it mean that the wolf had been where she had been? Doctor Hopper would call this projection. Emma knew he’d explain it away as more stress, likely over choosing which college she wanted to go to, not that her parents were going to let her go. With all of this happening who could blame them? Emma was crazy, really and truly crazy and there was no hope of her ever being normal or accepted when this was her deep dark secret…_

“Emma?” Killian’s concerned voice broke the spell of her remembrance, and Emma shook her head slightly before looking back at him. She could see in his eyes so much love, and suddenly she felt an urge, an urge to tell him something she’d never even told her very best friends. Something her parents knew, but didn’t really know, since she’d kept parts from them and from Archie. It was a moment of truth, one final test, and Emma hoped that maybe it would be the thing he needed to come forward with his own secret.

“I used to have these crazy dreams, right when we got back from Boston,” she began, continuing to walk through the copse of trees towards his cabin with his hand in hers. “They were wild and exhausting. I’d sleep ten hours but feel like I never went to bed. They were all so vivid in the moment too. One second I was living this undeniable double life. It was almost more real than the world I was living in, but when I woke up I’d start to forget. The pieces would slip away, but the feelings still remained. The doctors said it was stress, but I would - I mean I used to… sleep walk.”

Emma expected Killian to ask for more, but when she looked back up at him he remained quiet. His eyes were fixed on her, his expression unreadable, but she felt a silent urging from him for her to continue so she did.

“The walking was tamer at first. I’d wake up in the kitchen or the back yard. Still close to home, but definitely not where I should be. But by the end of my senior year it was bad… really bad. My parents had to lock every door, install an alarm in a town with virtually no crime, and keep an eye out. They took shifts of who would sleep, and sometimes I still got out. I have no idea how, and they didn’t either.”

“And when you got out, where did you go?” Killian asked, his voice even despite the fact that she was telling him this alarming bit of back-story. 

“The woods. Always the woods.”

She gave him some more details of those morning memories. They were hard to speak about, mostly because they were so radically out of the norm, and by the time they’d gotten to his house Emma was starting to feel like maybe this was too much. She hadn’t said any of this aloud in so long and it sounded even more bizarre to her now than it did then, but luckily Killian didn’t seem off put in any way. The only thing he could see on her face was concern for her safety and something else that surprised her. It was almost like he didn’t think these dreams were that insane, and she wondered how he could be so calm in the face of something so strange and wild.

“God, Emma, that sounds… frightening and more than a little scary.”

“It was in a way,” Emma admitted. “But it wasn’t _where_ I woke up that scared me, it was the part when I was awake again. I always had this sinking feeling that I was forgetting something, something really important. It was like something wasn’t right in the light of day. Something was really _really_ wrong, and… well I mean it wasn’t. Everything was fine, and then my birthday came, and I don’t know, I felt a lot better suddenly. I was a bit more settled than I had been. The dreams didn’t come as much, and now when they do it’s just a dream. No random relocations thrown in the mix.” 

“That’s good to hear,” Killian said, his hands running over her as much for her comfort as for her his own. “I hate to think of you out in the world and without protection. If anything ever happened to you…” 

“I’m fine,” Emma promised, trying to convince him that she was in fact all right as they took a seat on his couch. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.”

Pulling him down for a kiss, Emma was so relieved when Killian kissed her back. He might have felt a bit withdrawn when she’d made the confession about her dreams, but he was with her now in an undeniable way. The only problem was, that when they finally came back for air, the walls had come up again. He was sitting here, holding her close and doing that thing where he subtly protected her from the whole entire world, but she could see the difference and feel it too and it was terrible. She hated it. Simply hated it.

“I shouldn’t have said all that, should I?” Emma asked, her heart hurting in her chest at the realization that she might just have fucked this up. “I messed up.” 

“No, Emma. You’re perfect, and I’m glad you told me. Truly I am,” he assured her and Emma smiled at the words, knowing he meant them even if he was still being weird. “You know how I feel about you. In your heart you know, but I haven’t said it aloud yet because… because I’ve been keeping something from you.”

Emma’s heart constricted in her chest even though she had known this was coming. Killian had a secret, something he’d been guarding all this time, and if she knew him as much as she thought she did, it was something he’d probably never told anyone at all. Yet even with the sadness she felt that he had kept something from her, it wasn’t distrust that settled within her. She only wished to help him and to alleviate his pain. Whatever it was, he was so worried and she couldn’t do anything to help until he told her. She moved closer, her hand coming to rest over his heart, which was beating so fast it must be painful, and then she made him a promise she knew he had to hear.

“Whatever it is we can face it together. It’s you and me, okay?”

A moment passed where Killian didn’t say anything. He seemed caught up in something, a memory if she wasn’t mistaken. For a moment it was like he wasn’t there, but Emma instinctively reached out to him, taking his hand. When they touched he was instantly back with her, and his eyes shone bright with a need to be with her.

“You and me, right?”

“Always.”

Hearing him say that made Emma breathe easier. Whatever was happening in his mind right now, there was no hiding the truth, and Killian still wanted this. But as much as she had been willing to give him time before, Emma’s patience had grown frail. She felt like this weight he was carrying was the only thing left between them, and she wanted so badly for him to let it go. If he did they’d be free to just… be, and as strange as that sentiment was, Emma’s instincts told her that they needed that. She knew he wasn’t going anywhere, but whatever secret he was harboring, he needed to share, not just for her sake, but for his as well.

“There’s something about me you don’t know, love. I’m…”

Killian trailed off, and Emma knew that they had finally reached the moment of truth. She had literally no idea where this was going. Killian had kept this guarded for weeks. It was the only part of him she hadn’t had access to, and she needed it even though she felt a tiny bit of fear. Why was he so hung up on this? Was it really so bad? She just wouldn’t know until he said something.

“You’re…” she prompted, her eyes searching his face which was clouded with worry. Then his words came so quickly she almost didn’t hear them.

“I’m a shifter.”

“A shifter,” Emma parroted, and though she didn’t understand what that was, the words came out less as a question than a statement. The term sparked the remembrance she had back at the clinic a few weeks ago, but she shook her head, knowing that couldn’t have been real. It must mean something. Was this a fetish or something? No, it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. She’d have sensed that red flag early on. But whatever it was, this part of her, deep down inside was suddenly excited and elated for now explainable reason. “I don’t know what that means.”

“It means… actually, it’s probably better if I show you.”

Taking her hand in his Killian brought Emma to sit on the couch in his living room. It was a strange thing to do, but Emma knew it was because whatever this was, it was so big he thought she might fall from the shock of it. Meanwhile the word kept bouncing around in her head. Shifter. Shifter. Shifter. She tried to fathom what this was, and if her old, probably made up memory could be accurate, but then she was distracted by Killian moving back across the room and pulling the shirt he was wearing over his head. Emma was not expecting him to strip down in front of her, and despite this being a very serious moment her eyes honed in on his muscled physique. A thrill coursed through her as more and more of him was revealed, and when he was finally down to just his briefs she found her words.

“Killian, what are you…?”

She trailed off when Killian took a deep, steadying breath and then, well, shifted. Like shifted from a man into a wolf in a split second. It was the craziest thing she’d ever seen. One second he was there, for a fleeting moment there was this transition that happened so quick you would blink and you missed it, and then there was this animal – a huge, black wolf, standing where Killian had just been. The animal was poised and powerful, and then his eyes opened and Emma instantly recognized them and him too.

“Holy shit! Holy shit you’re a wolf!” she said, her voice coming out harsh with the emotion of the realization. “Killian, you’re my wolf! Oh my God Killian, you’re my wolf! The wolf from the alley… the wolf from my dreams…”

Killian let out a low whine in his animal form, and though Emma wasn’t exactly fluent in large, wild canine speak, she knew it was a signal that she was right. It completely amazed her that any of this was happening. Now she knew why Killian had her sit down for this reveal. She was dizzy from the shock of it, but she also had this intrinsic need to get up and be close to him. She was fascinated by his coat and color, by how large his animal was, and of course the fact that he could turn into an animal at all. But before she asked those questions, and before she addressed how the hell any of this was possible, she moved across the room to where he was and hesitantly reached out to touch him.

When her fingers made contact with the warmth of his fur, her whole body filled with the most wonderful feeling. It was somehow more consuming than their first time meeting, and finally she knew that the last piece of the puzzle was solved. This was the secret Killian was hiding. This was the truth he’d had to keep hidden, and God what a beautiful, amazing, and magical truth it was. Emma’s eyes actually misted up at the fierceness of all the she felt, but she kept the tears at bay to try and speak her thoughts aloud. 

“I don’t understand how this can be real. You’re a wolf – sorry, a _shifter_ – and you saved me. Back in Boston…”

Now Killian did return to himself and Emma jumped at the transformation, more from surprise than fear. No, there was nothing like fear here at all. She felt completely safe with Killian still, but she hoped he would fill in the blanks so her mind could truly comprehend all she’d just seen.

“Aye, I did, love.” She knew it was him, but it still felt good to hear him say it. So all this time she hadn’t been crazy. There was a wolf, and somehow, someway, he’d found his way back to her.

“Wow. That’s so… crazy,” she said for lack of a better descriptor. “What are the odds?”

“I’d say about one in a billion,” he replied and she laughed, the sound pitched higher than normal from the bevy of emotion. Killian, for his part, stepped closer to her, testing the waters but finding Emma didn’t need any space. She moved towards him too, and reveled in the feel of his arms around hers. 

“And you found me again. How did you do that? Did you track me or something?”

“No, Emma. It was all instinct. I had the urge to come to Maine for years now, but I finally gave in after resisting so long. I didn’t realize what we were to each other when we first met, but my wolf knew subconsciously you were out there somewhere in the world, calling to me.”

“And what are we to each other?” She asked with a breathless sense of wonder. She knew that her tone spoke to a true yearning to know, and that she was holding nothing back. Right now she was an open book, but it felt only right since he was just as open with her.

“We’re what’s called fated mates, love. In my world it’s normal. All shifters have their perfect partner, their other half, and you, Emma Nolan, are mine, just as I am yours. Bonds between humans and shifters… well I’ve never heard of one happening, but it could be the reason you had those dreams and felt those things. It could be our bond, just working in more mysterious ways.”

“Oh thank God,” Emma said with genuine relief finally it was Killian’s turn to look confused. He must not understand her thoughts on this, so she tried to explain them. “It’s just I’m totally crazy about you. I wanted you from the first second I saw you and I feel like you’re the one. It’s good to know that’s real. It’s not just my mind playing tricks on me.” 

“It’s real,” Killian murmured, his hand coming to cup her cheek, sending a zing of awareness through her already sensitive flesh. “It’s the realest thing I’ve ever known, the surest love that can ever be found.” 

“Love?” Emma asked and Killian nodded.

“Love. I love you, Emma. For now and always. For this life and every other, I love you.”

Hearing that was the most remarkable thing that had ever happened to her. Knowing that she and Killian were destined to be together was amazing, but to hear that he loved her… it just filled her so completely with joy that she was at a loss for words. She jumped further into his arms, wrapping herself around him as she kissed him with all the passion that she had. He mirrored those feelings and that desire so perfectly too. They were wholly connected and on the same page and Emma had never felt better in all her life. She was finally alive, finally getting the chance to know the best that happiness had to offer, and she never wanted to let go. But of course, ever the responsible and reasonable one, Killian realized there was still more to be said. Before they could get too carried away, he pulled back, and when she looked at his cerulean eyes, she saw he still had things to explain, things she needed to know.

The story of his life, as a shifter and as a man, came easily then. Killian let it all out, every last part, leaving no detail unaddressed. Emma listened to everything he outlined for her about his past losses and heartaches and his life as a shifter. He talked about the pull of the full moon each month and the mating bond that would come when they finally came together. He talked more about shifter culture and the devotion he’d always have to her and the family they might one day make together. Then he explained how their case was one that he never imagined possible – there were no known cases of shifters and humans being fated pairs, but that didn’t make him any less sure. He showed her his mark and she in turn showed him where hers had appeared, at her hip. She wrote it off as weird reaction to something that would fade away in time, but then she looked at where she’d touched him, and she marveled at their perfect set of markings.

“Wow… just… wow,” Emma said, smiling to herself as she continued to hold onto him. “Wait, you just told me you’re a lone wolf now but you called it something else…”

“A rogue,” Killian replied and he watched as a connection formed in Emma’s mind.

“That’s what Graham called you that day at the diner… oh my God, Graham has to be a shifter, right?”

“A wolf, like me,” Killian confessed, sending Emma’s mind in a dozen directions. How could he have hidden it? Who else knew? Then Killian dropped another bomb she never expected. “He and Tink are the only other shifters in the direct vicinity.” 

“Oh my God Tink too?” Emma asked, her eyes widening. “That’s so cool! Is she a wolf also?”

“A lynx,” Killian said, before explaining to Emma that there were dozens of shifter species the world over, some more rare than others.

“I can’t believe you guys manage to keep it a secret…” Emma said, but then her stomach clenched as she thought back to that memory. It had to be real and not a dream like she thought, and that, given everything Killian had said about rules and the council, was not a good thing. “But Killian, I think my parents know. I mean they might… I have this memory of a mountain lion at the clinic and my Mom saying the word so… maybe?”

“I don’t know about your mother, love…” Killian left the rest unsaid. 

“But my Dad knows, doesn’t he?” Emma didn’t need to ask. His face said everything, and it also said he felt terrible not coming right out and saying so himself.

“I think it’s best to ask him yourself.”

“God this is all so much. I never imagined this, but somehow I feel like I always knew. Is that normal?”

“It’s our mating bond,” Killian informed her. “It’s strong already, and it will grow even stronger if you choose to be mine in every way.” 

“Oh I’m definitely choosing you,” Emma said, completely sure of herself and Killian actually hummed out a sound of approval, that sent waves of pleasure through her. Holy crap, that was hot. Was that a shifter thing? Or just a man who really really wanted her to love him? “I love you, Killian, and I want this. More than anything.”

“That makes two of us, love. But this is fast, especially given human custom. What I’ve told you tonight is a lot to process and I need you to be sure. There’s no going back once a mating bond has been sealed so we can wait as long as you need. The full moon this month is tomorrow, but I would wait forever for you.” 

“And if I don’t want to wait?” Emma asked, her heart pounding so loudly at even the thought of mating with him. She wanted it so badly, but she also felt the severity of his words. This was a huge step and an even bigger commitment, and that was something to at least sleep on for one night.

“I will always do everything in my power to see you happy, Emma. You have my word on that.” She nodded, glad for his loyalty and devotion that he made apparent with every word and touch and look he sent her way.

“I think I need to talk to my parents,” Emma confessed after a few moments of internal musing. “Or at least my Dad. But I _do_ want this, Killian. Nothing you told me tonight changes how I feel. I knew that I would love you forever before I knew everything, and I still feel that way. I’ll always feel that way.”

“I trust you, Emma. More than I can say. If you say you’re ready then I’ll believe you, but have a night to think on it. Tomorrow if you feel the same, you will find me and we’ll be together, and if not I’ll still be here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Let me guess, this is the part where you say goodnight,” Emma said, sighing in a dramatic way they were both used to by now. He was ever the gentleman, and though she knew they could spend the night together and not go too far, Killian would never dream of attempting such a feat. “There isn’t anything I can say to convince you otherwise, is there?” 

“Not tonight, love. I know it’s not easy, but it’s how it has to be. I can’t trust myself not to take all I want. I’m only so strong.”

“I get it,” Emma acknowledged. “I don’t love it, but I get it.”

“Soon enough it’ll be tomorrow,” Killian said, but then he tilted his head and adjusted his words. “I lied. It’ll never be soon enough. I want you every second of every day.”

Her heart melted at that and Emma pulled him in for another kiss, this one soft but slow and languid. It was peaceful but resiged, and still she hoped he could feel her love in it, because she really did love him. So so much.

“Until tomorrow then,” Emma said, trying to capture his slight lilt and Killian laughed shaking his head.

“Uh, no, love. If you think I’m letting you walk alone at night you have another think coming. I’ll see you home and safe, just as I always do." 

And with that, the two of them set out back to Emma’s house, where they did, regrettably part ways. But though she had so much more to consider and to talk about with her father, Emma knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that tomorrow they’d come together for real. It was time for them to be one – to be mated as he called it – and as she fell asleep that night, Emma’s dreams were filled with the magic Killian brought into her life, and hopeful visions of what might be when they were truly and totally together at last.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it – Emma now knows about shifters and true mates and pretty much everything. I have purposefully left some vagueness about how much of Killian’s past he has talked about though, mostly because the flashbacks haven’t revealed it yet. Regardless, next chapter will be important because it’s from Emma’s POV. She is going to confront her father and once she has all the info (which she, and we, definitely do not have) she will make her choice. Hope that you guys enjoyed the chapter and would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks so much for reading and have a great rest of your weekend!!_ **


	10. Chapter 10

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So we are back, and as you might have guessed, it’s full moon night (or day, as it were). Obviously I am writing this, so Killian and Emma are always going to choose love and be fluffy. But… I may have a few tricks up my sleeves that we have to get through before we can get to the good stuff. Emma has to talk to her Dad and get things straight, and that’s going to be quite a hurdle for her to get over so there’s less CS than usual in this installment. Originally I was going to combine this chapter with the next, BUT I didn’t want to rush things, and I actually have a new POV that needs including too, if you can believe it. To make up for the fact that you all have to wait for the good stuff, however, I am posting the next chapter next week instead of in two weeks. Anyway, really looking forward to hearing what you all think about this, and I hope you enjoy the chapter! Thanks so much for reading!_ **

Sleeping soundly through the night after being told that the man you loved was a wolf shifter proved to be as difficult as one might imagine.

After Killian brought her back home last night, Emma found herself unable to go to bed easily. She was thinking and pondering about all she had learned, letting it all play over and over in her mind until morning rolled around. Everything she’d discovered and all the new parts of the truth she never realized before were so remarkable, she couldn’t shake the feeling of excitement enough to sleep. Killian was a _shifter_. He could physically shift from a man into a giant, beautiful, somewhat menacing and yet still serenely beautiful wolf, and somehow, seeing him do that had taken the already raging inferno of want Emma had for him and turned it up even more.

Meeting Kalian’s animal was profoundly impactful. It shifted something inside of her that she didn’t realize was out of place, but in the light of a new day she realized that feeling was prompted by the fact that she finally understood. Discovering the truth gave Emma another layer of Killian to know, and that layer was something so wrapped up in who he was that she felt she could finally see him and know him in his entirety. It was an amazing sensation, and whether it was the fact that he’d been her hero and saved her all those year ago in Boston, or whether it was his undeniable strength and prowess that came with being a shifter that turned her on, Emma didn’t know. Whatever it was, the result was the same: she’d been restless all night, lusting away for a man who loved her and who she so dearly loved in turn.

It seemed silly to Emma in so many ways that they couldn’t just be together. She knew that she wanted Killian and nothing that she found out today would change that at all. Beyond being silly though, it was also somewhat painful. Emma was so wound up with wanting that it was terribly uncomfortable. She was constantly aware of this aching want to be close to Killian, to her mate. God even the word made another shiver of desire course through her. She’d never been in such a state and she hated the fact that she knew what would ease it and she couldn’t just give in. This was the looming ‘mating heat,’ at least that was what Killian called it, but according to him this wasn’t even the worst of it. Somehow, these urges and desire were going to grow. Emma was going to crave him in ways she couldn’t understand, but she was already doing that, so how could it possibly get stronger than this?

Clinging to him last night, Emma knew she had never been so wanton. He was only intending to drop her off at her door and maybe kiss her quickly goodnight, but Emma had seen him starting to bolt and she pulled him towards her. Once her hands were on him and their lips crashed together, Killian was right there with her. He pressed her into the front door of her apartment, which remained closed, leaving her body caught between the sturdy wood and the hard lines of his body. Emma reveled in the feeling and the force of it, moving towards him, trying to take everything that she wanted, but alas, Killian was a man of tremendous will power. He pulled back, through some sheer force Emma couldn’t imagine. She was totally and completely his, ready to commit right in that moment, but Killian was firm in his reasoning…

_“You know I’d give you anything, Emma, and I promise you I will. Tomorrow, when the time comes, we can have it all. But for tonight you have to trust me. It has to be this way.”_

_“I do trust you,” Emma said, her breaths still a little uneven from the exertion of that kiss. “I just…” She let her words hang there. There was no need to say them. She’d said them already plenty of times – she hated waiting, and that was what they had to do, at least for tonight._

_“Some might say we’re blessed, love,” Killian murmured with his hand coming to cup her cheek, his eyes tracing the corner of her mouth as it twisted with confusion. He smiled at her and explained. “We’ve had less than a month of anticipation, and come tomorrow this will all be sealed. We’ll have forever, if that’s what you want.”_

It’s what I want _, Emma said, but not aloud, because she knew deep down in her heart that Killian needed this last bit of time. She might not fully understand why, but just as he was willing to give her anything and everything, she wanted to do the same for him. She’d suffer the separation just a little longer, and then hopefully all his promises of always would come to pass._

_“You will feel the shift, tomorrow, Emma. A moment will come when the call will be too strong. It aligns with the tides, since the tides are brought on by the moon herself. When the moment comes you’ll need me, desperately, and you’ll know where to find me,”_ _he said as he kissed her goodbye last night._

_“And what about you?” Emma asked, teasing him for she did not know how much he was already affected by the lunar cycles._

_“Saying goodbye to you even now is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, love,” he said, his voice a harsh growl that spoke to pain wrapped in something almost desperate. His hands tightened on her again, as if he was rethinking the whole thing, but she watched as his features hardened, and he knew he was back to his original intentions. “I’ll have to take steps to keep myself away from you, and I don’t know if they’ll work but I have to try. Only then can it be your choice, and it has to be your choice, Emma. It has to be yours.”_

As much as she’d tossed and turned wishing for relief from the sexual frustration and wanting him to just come back and take her already, Emma respected his thoughts on this. It meant everything to Killian to have Emma choose to be his with _all_ the facts in hand. For some reason, her being human and her wanting him outside of the mating bond mattered to him even though it wouldn’t matter for an ordinary shifter match. He confessed to her that he hated to think that Emma was stuck with him just because nature wanted things that way. But that was because he couldn’t see what a good, kind, and wonderful man he was. Yes, Killian had told her of his past. Killing his father… losing his mother and brother… that was a darkness that no soul should have to bear. But it hadn’t changed Killian’s core nature. He was still a man worth loving, the only man she could ever really love, and if it took waiting a little while longer and then finding him to make him see that so be it. Emma would submit to the torturous separation so that Killian found his peace in the end.

In the meantime, Emma’s only other distraction came from trying to figure out her parents’ knowledge of shifters and their world. Killian had kept mum about what he had learned about her father specifically, saying nothing beyond the fact that Emma should speak with her Dad, but Emma got the sense Killian didn’t know much himself. There were things her Dad was hiding, secrets he’d been keeping close, and before she took this next step with Killian, Emma knew it would be best to know exactly what those were. It was the only way to be fair to her and to Killian, and now that Emma knew of shifters in a legal way, she could maybe be a safe space for her father who had to hide what he knew.

Getting ready for her day, Emma should have been exhausted. She slept so poorly that she should have no energy to do anything at all, but there was more pep in her step and energy inside of her than any day that had come before. This was likely thanks to the charge of tonight that was already all around her. The moon made Killian and other shifters strong, and he believed it would make her strong too. It would certainly call them to come together tonight, but in the meantime Emma was in need of motion and action. She couldn’t seem to sit still, and she was at the clinic at a record time after getting breakfast and coffee at home. This morning she and Killian couldn’t see each other, and though her heart felt the loss of missing out on that special bonding moment, Emma knew it was right for both of them as soon as she walked into the clinic doors.

At this time of morning there was usually quiet at the clinic, so it surprised Emma when she walked in the front door and found lights on and the sound of someone working in the back. It couldn’t be Gus – there was no way that he would have already come in when he lived a ways away – so it stood to reason that it must be her Dad. As Emma walked further inside, she found that hunch was correct, for there, moving about with a clear sense of anxious anticipation in the back exam room, was her father.

“Dad?” 

Her father immediately turned to face her and Emma could see from the look in his eyes that he knew what was coming. It was a relief that at least she wouldn’t have to spell it out for him, and she trusted her Dad to tell her the truth when she asked it head on, but in an automatic act of bolstering herself, her arms crossed over her chest. Try as she might, she couldn’t help feeling a little defensive. This was supposedly her clinic too, but her Dad had a whole other business and line of work he’d never thought to tell her of. Some might call secrets so big a betrayal, and though Emma wouldn’t say that, she couldn’t ignore that part of her was hurt by this.

“I want to start by saying this was never how I wanted things to go, Emma. I thought about telling you a thousand times, but you finding out like this… it wasn’t a part of my plan.” 

“How could it be? You probably never thought that I would have a mate.” 

The word felt foreign on Emma’s tongue. Humans didn’t refer to each other as mates, but as she said it aloud her spirit was comforted. Just the acknowledgment of what she was to Killian and what he was to her calmed her down, and that was something she was grateful for in the face of this difficult conversation. She also clung to that word for other reasons too, using it as a reminder that she and Killian _were_ together no matter what her parents or any body else might have thought would come. All this talk of plans made her ill, because any life that hadn’t led to Killian would have been one of lesser happiness. If things had been ‘normal,’ if she had fallen for an ordinary man… well she just couldn’t see it. Deep down in her heart, she knew it had to be him.

“No, I can safely say the possibility never crossed my mind. I’ve never heard of such a thing. Shifters and humans together…” her father trailed off, and though Emma was at some level grateful for the fact that her father wasn’t lecturing her away from Killian or warning her about falling too quickly, she was also impatient, and she wanted to know the truth.

“You should have told me, Dad. This secret is… honestly it’s ginormous. Plus it’s not just yours. It effects all of us – the whole family, heck all of Storybrooke even - and you kept it from me.”

“I’m sorry for that, Emma. Truly I am. But you have to believe that I did it to protect you.”

Emma closed her eyes briefly as she let his claim sink in. As far as excuses went, it was a good one. From what Killian had told Emma of the council, they were incredibly hostile to outsiders knowing about them. An entire species of humans who could turn into animals didn’t manage to go for millennia without real widespread detection without eliminating would-be threats. Still it was hard for Emma to swallow this down. Her Dad was an honorable, honest, and open man, and so this huge secret didn’t sit well in the context of the father that she knew. 

“Killian told me about the risks, I think you did what you thought was best.”

“But you don’t agree that it was,” her father said, no hint of question in his voice, only resignation.

“I think it was an impossible decision. Either you tell the truth and put as at risk, or you hide it and… put us at less risk?” Emma’s tone hinged up because she was realizing that either way they were in danger. Why keep them in the dark if he was still going to do this all these years?

“If the council ever found out, they have a process. Some shifters have gifts, ways of knowing if a human knows. You never being told would have saved you and your brother.” 

“So Mom knows then. That mountain lion at the clinic… that was real?” Emma asked. Her father’s face let surprise slip out openly, and she realized that whatever happened next in that memory she had, her parents must not of realized that she had seen what she did. 

“Yes. A local shifter was badly injured. They brought him here, despite the fact that I never see patients in house.”

Her father explained a bit more about the particulars. Some might have called his fast pace and the seemingly innocuous details rambling, but Emma took it all in. It turned out that his practice that was off site was almost always visiting shifters. He didn’t actually take pet work or farm animals outside of Storybrooke; all of the cases that he had were for shifters. It meant that he had to know both realms of anatomy – that of people and of animals - but the problem was that Maine, sparsely populated by humans and filled with shifter-suited lands as it was, didn’t have many healers. Truth be told, her Dad was kind of the only one.

“Why do you do it?” Emma asked, not wanting to beat around the bush. There had to be a reason, and the least her father could do was tell it to her after all of this.

“Because they’re people, Emma. People who deserve help, and I have the skills to help them, so I feel like I should.”

That sounded exactly like her father, and Emma took comfort in the response. She knew deep down all along that this was something he did because he was generous and kind. He cared about everyone, would do anything to see another person’s life made better. It was what made him such an incredible role model for her whole life, and it was something she would always love about her father, even if these revelations were difficult to process. 

“How did you find out about shifters in the first place?” Emma asked, and though the whole encounter so far had been filled with fascinating details, this was the first confession from her father that truly shocked her to her core. 

“I’ve always known about them. The Nolan family has always been aware of them, at least that’s what my Uncle always claimed.”

“Your Uncle that raised you?” Emma asked genuinely not understanding. 

Her parents never really spoke much about their childhoods. Her mother’s mother had died when Mary Margaret was still very young, and her father had died soon after, leaving her mother alone so much earlier than she should have been. That loss was something that her parents had in common though, because according to the stories she’d heard before, her father’s mother had died in childbirth, and his father had never been in the picture. He lived with his uncle until he was of age, and then he left home, never looking back or bothering to stay in touch.

“His name was George, and I wouldn’t call what he did ‘raising.’ He trained me, prepared me, groomed me for what he called ‘the family business.’”

Emma’s stomach sank at the way her father bit out the words. Whatever the business was, it was bad. Real bad. “Let me guess. It’s not veterinary work.”

“We were hunters, Emma. Have been for centuries. There are other families like us – humans who know the truth – and they hide their identities just like shifters do.”

“But why?” Emma asked, the horror in her voice matched only by the indignation. It seemed so stupid. _Hunting?_ Why would you ever want to hunt shifters, and further more why would you need to? “If humans have been chasing shifters for years – _killing_ them for years – wouldn’t you have proof? Wouldn’t you be able to expose them and get rid of them like that?”

“That’s what the council has always feared, but hunters…” Her father’s eyes took on a thoughtful quality, as if he was pulled back to those early days of his life and was reliving the memory of what all of it had been like. “They’re paranoid by nature, and they’re dedicated to their rituals and traditions. Hunters are skeptical, not just of shifters, but of other humans who are ignorant. People who don’t know the truth are deemed stupid and unnecessary. Hunters only care for each other, and in that world there are certain expectations. You are born into a hunter’s life, and there is no leaving. It just isn’t done.” 

“But you left,” Emma acknowledged. “You got out somehow.”

“I was disowned, written off. There was no staying for me, not after everything that happened.”

Hearing her father tell the tale, Emma felt like she was there, living through his remembrances too. She could picture it all, her Dad as a teen, unsure of himself and his place in the world, but constant in his want to do right by others. He told Emma about his friend from school, his best friend, his only friend. They’d known each other from the time they were boys, and they’d bonded because they both lived lives without any real family, her father with his unfeeling uncle, and his friend within the foster system. Because of their common experience, their friendship was strong, they formed an unbreakable bond, like brothers, but when his friend turned eighteen the truth was revealed. He was a shifter – and Emma’s father had never realized it until the first full moon hit.

“You just didn’t know?” Emma asked. “I thought you trained for this.”

“I did, but shifter children are impossible to detect. They need their first phase to come into their abilities, to start leaving traces in the way a full shifter does.”

“So what happened when you found out?”

“I did the only thing I could think. I told Lance the truth. I told him about my family, what we did and who we were, and then I did everything I could to get him as far away from us as I could.” 

“Wait, Lance... You mean Uncle Lance?!” Emma asked, completely flabbergasted. Her Uncle Lance was not her father’s brother – but he was the closest thing that her Dad had anymore. They actually lived pretty close to them. Only an hour or so away, closer to the deep woods and mountains than the coast down here. And Emma had grown up feeling they were real extensions of her family. She never had any idea of their true nature, but now that she did, she found she was excited and awed all at once. “Oh my gosh so Aunt Gwen and Aerelya… are they?”

“Shifters, yes.” Emma let that wash over her. It was such a revelation, but there were still more questions that needed answering. 

“Well clearly you saved him then.”

“Yes,” her father said, proudly. “He made it out. He’s how I ended up in Maine in the first place. He found Gwen and she brought him here. She was from a small clan, and Lance was looking for a new pride after losing his own. When I finally escaped my Uncle, it’s the only place I could think to come. That night, the night you saw me helping that shifter, it was Lance. There’d been a scuffle near his home. A rogue bear shifter looking for a fight, and Gwen was desperate, so she brought him here.”

“How did you get away from your Uncle? I mean he’s still alive, right? When you talked about him, you never mentioned that he was dead.”

“He’s alive, last I heard. But that is another long and complicated story, Emma. Too complicated for today.”

“But you _will_ tell me someday,” Emma said, knowing that he would even before he nodded in agreement. 

“I will. I promise. But today there are other things to see to. The full moon is tonight, I’m sure Killian has explained what that means to you.”

Emma blushed and suppressed a groan. Talk about awkward! The full moon meant mating, and the last person – as in the very _very_ last person – that she would ever want to talk about that with was her father. The thought alone sent a wave of repulsion and embarrassment through her.

“I didn’t mean like that. I just meant that if you do this, if you choose to be mated to him, it will be forever. That’s how things are with shifters. They never do anything by halves.” 

Emma barked out a laugh at her father’s attempt at a joke and she nodded that she did understand the repercussions of her choice. If she and Killian cemented their bond tonight, they would never again be apart. They would be two parts of one whole, and Emma was ready for that. She craved it and wanted it, more than she could ever say.

“I’m ready for that,” Emma said, trying to reassure her father, who had taken on a worried paternal look over the last few minutes. “But I kind of need to tell Mom still.”

“Oh she knows,” her father said evenly. “She’s known as long as I have, and she guessed at what would come to be even when I told her it should be impossible. She’s already talking flowers and cakes and wedding dresses.”

“That might be a little premature,” Emma said, her heart falling as the reality of this whole morning’s revelation set in. “I might be ready, but I don’t know if Killian will be. What you’ve told me… it changes things. Maybe he won’t feel the same. Maybe it isn’t his family he had to worry about. Maybe it’s ours.”

“I won’t pretend to know everything about your relationship, Emma. Despite your mother’s army of lookouts, and despite the rumors about the Jones pack that even I have heard, there’s more than enough I’m in the dark about, and I’d like to keep it that way,” Her Dad said, almost pulling a smile from Emma’s lips. “But what I _do_ know is that there is nothing that would change the way he feels for you. A man who looks at a woman the way he looks at you is certain. No matter what happens, he’ll be there, shifter pull or not.”

“I hope you’re right,” Emma said, accepting the hug her father offered her and closing her eyes as she took a deep breath to steady herself.

“Well there’s only one way to find out. You go talk to him yourself.” 

“Do you think Mom will be mad if I do this without talking to her?” Emma asked and her father shook his head.

“As long as she gets to be there for the wedding and the grand kids she’ll be happy,” her father said assuredly, before looking mortified and back tracking a bit. “Not that you have to rush on that. You’re young. There’s still time.” 

Emma laughed at her father’s stern retraction, and she didn’t have the heart to tell him that she didn’t think his comments would make much difference. If Killian was still in this with her after all these revelations, Emma didn’t believe either of them could wait long for marriage or the rest of it. This was a fast paced romance to be sure, but if Emma’s understanding of shifter culture was clear, that was the way these things often went.

“Thanks Dad. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Moving forward, Emma came to give her father a hug, and when she did she felt his immediate release of tension. “I really am sorry, Emma. You know I love you. You’re my little girl. My princess.”

“I know,” Emma said as she chuckled quietly at the tone in his voice, the one reserved for overly adoring parents. “And I forgive you. Just, please, from now on if there’s any huge, life altering things you find out…”

“You’ll be the first to know,” her Dad said, and when Emma’s eyes narrowed comically he corrected himself. “The second. But you’re Mom was a given.”

Emma smiled at that, knowing that her parents love, which was as true as human (or any kind of) love could be, was such a fundamental given in all of their lives. The two of them were a perfect pair, and Emma was happy to also know in her heart that she had found such a love for herself. She now had her ‘given’ and she’d given him her heart from the moment that they met. 

Before they could say much more to each other, the jingle of the overhead bell alerted them to a new presence in the clinic, and from the whistling that came, Emma knew it was Gus right away. That meant the day was starting – it was time to get to work, but the thought of working was abhorrent to her, and now that the dust had settled of all her father had said, that pesky need was back again, and it felt like maybe – oh crap – no it was definitely, growing stronger. Shit, shit, shit! Emma looked out the window in the direction of the coast, as if somehow the forest would suddenly disappear. Was this the moment? Another tug came at her chest, like her heart was trying to launch out of her body. Yeah, this appeared to be it.

“Morning you two. You’re both here bright and early. Busy day?” Gus asked, checking the schedule with some confusion as Emma tried to fathom how to even form words right now. She should be mortified, but honestly she was just desperate to come up with a plan of escape.

“Not at all. Emma was just leaving. She’s taking the rest of the week off.”

“Thank you,” Emma murmured to her Dad, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before barely saying goodbye to him and Gus.

Within seconds Emma was out the front door, moving at a speed that was just short of running, and not giving a damn who saw. All she knew was that her path from there was clear: She had to get to Killian, because finally, blissfully the time was upon them, and Emma had never, ever been more excited or elated in her entire life.

…………..

Staring out the window of her classic Victorian home, right off the main street in Storybrooke, Elsa took in all the splendor of the world around her without really going deeper than the surface. She saw everything of course, but her mind was elsewhere, far from the grass and trees and blossoms that surrounded her family’s historic home.

Years ago, when her parents passed away, Elsa debated leaving this place. It was so full of memories, so thick with remembrances of her parents and their lives before the accident, but it was also the only home she and Anna had ever known. She couldn’t throw that all away. It was a part of them all, and with time those wounds that memories inflicted became little bits of light. Having moments where she thought about her parents made her happy. She missed them, more than she could ever say, but it still felt like they were here, watching out for her and Anna, and Elsa didn’t know if that would be the case somewhere else.

Whether their watching them from beyond the grave was true or not, Elsa didn’t know. She didn’t pretend to understand the afterlife or the grand design of the cosmos or anything, but she had a gut feeling that her family was always with her, and her gut was oh so rarely wrong. Her gut was also acting up a storm lately, and today of all days, it was bound to be chatty as all get out.

For whatever reason this strange gift of intuition that Elsa had, the dreams that seemed almost real and the visions that came and went in a flash, acted up most at the high times of the lunar calendar. It took Elsa a long time to make that connection, but it was her grandmother who planted that idea in her head when she was a girl of only nine or ten. Nana Rose was a lovely woman, if not all there at the end. She loved each of them so much, but she would spout these things – crazy things, that while beautiful and exciting just couldn’t be true.

_“We have magic in our blood, Elsa dear, always have. But you – my darling girl – you have the real gift. A gift not seen in a hundred years. Don’t be afraid of it. Keep yourself open, and always, always speak your truth as you see it.”_  

Elsa knew magic wasn’t actually a thing, but she took her Nana’s advice to heart, even when it was hard, as it was today. For this morning, Elsa had woken up from a series of dreams that while vivid, were almost impossible to describe. They were so unbelievably life like, but there were pieces missing. It was like she had walked through a world built on puzzles and secrets, but the lingering parts that she did remember were ingrained in her head. The dreams jumped between the soft summer glow of a forest meadow, with moss and flowers, and the perfect blend of shade and sun. It was so vivacious, so alive, and so green it almost didn’t feel real, but Elsa knew that it was. In the end, the places in her dream were always real. Every single time.

This was a place she had never been though, and that usually meant that it was a place she would one day see. Elsa didn’t mind the thought, but the other place in her dream world was almost the opposite. One moment she was in the woods and sun, and the next she was plopped in a completely different environment. It was rainy there, so terribly dull and gray, and it was a cityscape too. The natural world wasn’t present at all. It was the heart of a concrete jungle, and though Elsa loved a good city, and she lived for a cool rainy day, she had felt… defeated, and sad. It was unlike her to experience those emotions, and when she woke up, after what felt like days of wandering those streets, she woke up knowing she hadn’t found what she was looking for. And to top it all off, the final moment was even more mind boggling, for in that darkness that came at the end of a dream and right before waking, she’d heard the distant cry of a wolf. It was a howl, low and deep and it haunted her, as such howls had done for the past few years.

The sound of feet pounding down the stairs at the pace of a dead out run pulled Elsa from her thinking. She had come down stairs to make a leisurely breakfast, not having a shift at the hospital today, and since Anna was off from the school, she was prone to sleeping in herself. This was the norm for them in summers – brunch more than breakfast really – but it was unusual for Anna to be so energized this early. She hadn’t been like that since they were kids, and the sudden burst of enthusiasm meant only one thing: that she recognized what day it was. 

“Full moon day!” Anna said giddily as she slid into the kitchen, her socks taking her across the floor and almost ending in an accident, but barely scraping by. “God I’ve been waiting for this forever. Ever since Killian got here I’ve been begging the days to come faster and faster. I mean you’ve seen them – it’s love love love like to the end of the universe in back. Big love. Once in a life time love. With that kind of love, you _have_ to have seen something. Tell me! tell me! tell me!”

Elsa laughed in the face of her sister’s hugs and jumping up and down, along with the words that spilled past her lips so quickly most people wouldn’t know how to make heads or tales of it all, and she felt some of her earlier anxiety dispel at Anna’s joy. There was nothing like the sunshine Anna brought to Elsa and to the rest of the world. It always eradicated any kind of cold that came into her life, something Elsa was beyond grateful for.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t,” Elsa said coyly, pulling away from her sister’s tight squeeze as she got the last of the eggs out of the pan and plated for them. Anna grabbed the final elements to help set the table, but her silence, which was very rare, told Elsa that her patience had grown as thin as it could get without flat out revolt. “Okay fine, yes there was a dream.”

“Only one?” Anna asked, confused no doubt by the fact that one was an unusually low number for Elsa any time of month.

“Only one you really _really_ want to hear about.”

“It’s a wedding, I just know it. Please tell me it’s a wedding!”

Elsa allowed three heart beats to pass before her face broke and she smiled. “Yes, I dreamed about a wedding.”

The squeals and screams that came from her sister at that moment were almost ungodly and she sprung up from her seat and danced around the room like a kid at the most magical Christmas ever.

“I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! So where does it happen? Are we talking beach, or the gazebo, oh or maybe the woods? I don’t know what it is about Killian but he’s got that vibe. Like an ‘I will totally have my way with my woman under the stars vibe.’” 

“Anna!” Elsa said, chastising her sister who ignored the attempted language check completely. 

“Oh please. The man practically growls when other men look at Emma. It’s so totally hot. I want one for myself.”

“You say that like you can add it to your Christmas list and a comparable man will just appear,” Elsa said, scoffing at the very thought. 

“Well obviously not my Christmas list, besides that’s way too far away. But Nana Rose always said that when in doubt you have to wish. I’m putting every last ounce of my wish power out there. You and I need men like that.” 

“Oh you’re including me too, are you?”

“Yup. It’s time, Elsa. I know you’re the one with the magic -,” Elsa gave Anna a look that had her sister correcting herself, “sorry, instincts. But I know this time. My gut might not talk all that much, but she’s here and she’s saying it’s _your_ turn to find love like Emma and Killian have. You deserve to be cherished and adored. You deserve a man who walks around Storybrooke a little aimlessly because he’s just hoping that he’ll see you. You deserve a man who looks at you like you’re everything, because you are. You’re the best person in the whole world, Els. Emma’s a close second, because she is our sister too, without a doubt, but you’re so strong and so kind and so selfless. You’ve given up so much for me and for everyone you meet. So it’s time for love to happen for you, and I can’t be the only one wishing. You need to start wishing to.”

“ _Anna_.”

That was all Elsa said, just her sister’s name with an inflection that said it all. There were tears in her eyes at the thoughtfulness, and though part of her thought her sister was certifiably insane, she couldn’t help the feeling in her chest that was so flattered and happy. It meant the world to her to know Anna loved her so much, even if her sister showed her every day. And somewhere, underneath all those worries and responsibilities she’d been shouldering for years, there was a part of her that mirrored her sister. It was a hopeful part, that wondered if maybe Nana Rose might have been right and if maybe wishing could make a difference.

“Just promise me you’ll be open to it, okay?”

“I promise,” Elsa said, finding she actually meant the words.

“Good,” Anna said, settling back to her breakfast. “Now. Let’s talk business – this wedding is coming, and it’s coming fast, and we need to make sure we get our say. Mary Margaret is awesome, but she’s totally going to take it all over. We gotta stake a claim to planning stuff early so we can make sure Emma gets everything she really wants.”

Anna continued on speaking about what needed to be done to make a wedding perfect for Emma, and Elsa relaxed into the conversation, finding that she herself thoroughly enjoyed the topic despite how bizarre it was. There absolutely had not been a proposal or an announcement or anything, but here they were with Anna droning on about floral arrangements and bridesmaids dresses. This was all based on a dream, and yet in her heart Elsa knew that it would come to pass. Because in that dream – in that glimpse into a future Elsa truly believed Emma would find – it wasn’t any of the details that mattered to Emma. All that mattered to her friend was the man who stood beside her, and luckily every outlook Elsa had seen included them together and happy, for now and in the very distant future.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it! This chapter has set us up for the fluff and smut that has to come with a mating heat, and I hope that you guys enjoyed it. Like I said, minimal CS direct contact – but there were ways I tried to include the fluff. Also writing from Elsa’s POV was a fun new challenge, and it’s very important to my story and what will come next. There will be a few more POV’s from other characters too in the future, but rest assured, this is a CS story and it will ALWAYS be a CS story. Anyway thanks so much to all of you for reading. I am thrilled you continue to join me on this journey through what is fast becoming one of my favorite fics, and I can’t wait to see what you all thought!_ **


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So as I have said, originally I was going to have last chapter and this chapter be combined, but in doing that I was going to have to sacrifice some of the smut or cuteness. Instead I have broken it up into two chapters, but don’t worry – this one is going to be pack a bit more punch than last time (also finally earning that M rating). At least I’m hoping… can’t wait to see what you all think and thank you so much for reading!!_ **

While in theory it had been gentlemanly and necessary to allow Emma to be away from him until she was ready to commit to everything he wanted, following through on that promise was more difficult than Killian could have ever imagined.

Whatever urges he felt before, and whatever pull Killian felt to Emma that was rooted deep within, it was apparently just a mild iteration of his want and need for her. For today, when he’d woken just as the sun was dawning on Storybrooke, his very being was altered. Today he felt the separation from his fated mate as a sharp and constant pain instead of a subtle ache. Emma being far away was unnatural to him. His wolf was clawing to the surface, battling it out with him that waiting wasn’t an option. They needed to come together and make this real now. It was what his animal craved, and truly what Killian desired as well.

Yet despite the torture it felt he was going through, Killian had remained remarkably strong. He’d managed to keep himself from tracking Emma and stealing her away. Well, he’d managed part of that. See, he was only so strong after all, and there was only so much physical distance the mating heat would allow. He had to be near her, and so he had come to the space at her apartment and the grove of trees out by the clinic. He was in wolf form, and far enough away as to still be giving her space, but in the few times Emma had been outside or by a window, she looked in his direction and he wondered if she knew he was here.

“Gotta say I admire your restraint,” Tink’s voice said from about fifteen yards away. Killian was in wolf form, and as such did not jump or flinch, but he shook his head again at the fact that Tink could get the jump on him. How did she always manage to sneak so undetectably? “With the full moon tonight I assumed you’d be way farther gone. Every shifter I know who has found their mate goes full blown loony toons by now. Light stalking is child’s play really.”

_It’s not stalking,_ Killian pushed with his mind, unable to speak when he was in his animal’s skin. _It’s… protecting._

“Well whatever it is, keep it up. You were right in your instincts. Emma has to be the one to make the choice, and she’s choosing you, you know.”

_She is?_ Killian asked. 

He was hopeful – so bloody hopeful – but he had purposefully kept enough distance so as that he couldn’t hear inside the clinic. He assumed that at some point Emma would speak to her father, and that was a conversation that deserved privacy. He was close enough that if Emma was in trouble he would know, but far enough away that the noise inside the veterinary office was more a murmur than identifiable tones.

“Mhmm. I’ve been listening to her chat with her Dad, and things are looking good.”

Killian tensed at the admission from Tink. Part of that was because he was glad for the feedback, but there was a bigger chunk of him that felt like he needed to defend Emma. This wasn’t something that Tink should be eavesdropping on. It was a private moment between his mate and her father.

“Relax, Jones. I already knew it all – well most of it.”

_How? Graham said he didn’t know Nolan’s reasons for all this._

“And he doesn’t,” Tink responded. “But when Mary Margaret found out I was a shifter, she was… well let’s just say far more forthcoming with how this all came to be. It worked out though. I know enough to keep the town safe, and she gets a go-to shifter for all her questions, of which there are many. It’s a pretty even trade.”

Killian was stunned, but he didn’t know why. He should have realized by this point that Storybrooke was never all that it seemed. Just when he thought he had things figured out, there was always another twist. It was why he’d been so anxious today. Part of him was waiting for the other shoe to drop. He was terrified Emma would decide against this and chose to resist this natural tie that bound them together, but Tink said she was choosing him, and Killian had to believe the Lynx wasn’t lying.

“There’s only one problem,” Tink said with a wry grin toying at her lips. Killian let out a growl and then Tink laughed, the sound chiming through the trees and the light breeze that was always blowing in Storybrooke. “Calm down, it’s not actually a problem. Well not if you can run fast.”

Killian didn’t know what she meant and then he heard the door to the clinic opening. There was Emma, and she was on the move. Instinctively Killian knew where she was headed – she was headed to him, and he was… _Shit_ he was here instead of waiting for her! As such, he had to follow Tink’s advice. He had to run back home, being sure to dodge any unsuspecting humans along the way. In the end he only got back with a minute or so to spare. He was able to put on some fresh clothes and run a hand through his hair, and then he heard Emma’s footsteps up the walk and her soft knock at the door.

“Whatever you do, don’t pounce on her,” he whispered aloud to himself. “She’ll want to talk. Talking is good.”

The muttering was a signal that Killian had pretty much lost his mind at this point, but it couldn’t be helped. His human and his animal were nearly at war right now, given how different their priorities were. Both wanted Emma more than they could conceive, but only one part of him knew how important restraint was in this moment. There were things that needed to be said and discussed. He and Emma had to lay it all out there between them and consider every angle of their future together, and even then she may not be ready. Killian didn’t know what he would do at that point. Short of chaining himself up and begging her to leave him for the next few days, there were few things he could think that would subdue his wolf, but as he opened the door to see this woman who had become the center of his entire universe, those thoughts melted away. For there, clear as crystal in her beautiful jade eyes, was Emma’s want for him as well. She hadn’t come to say no or to put a pause on things. She wanted him, and by God she would have him.

“You came,” Killian said, his voice filled with the awe that reverberated through him. He cleared his throat, trying to dispel that charged tone as best he could, but it lingered as he clarified. “Is everything all right love? You’re early.”

Well, actually, ‘early’ wasn’t really the right word. In fact, Killian had been waiting for what felt like forever, but the tides had a few hours yet before the strongest pull would form between them. Emma’s coming this quickly could mean a number of things, and he waited eagerly to hear any possible explanation.

“I couldn’t wait,” Emma confessed, taking a step towards him but stopping before she was touching him. She hesitated and Killian hated it. He didn’t want her to in any capacity that he was truly and irrevocably hers. Beyond that he would also give her anything he was capable of providing. Whatever she wished for, Killian would make it so.

“And I wouldn’t want you to. God knows how I missed you, Emma. Only a few hours but it felt like lifetimes to me.” With the confession he pulled her into his arms, taking comfort in her immediate exhalation of a deep and tension-filled breath. She leaned into him affectionately, her body seeking out his as much as his did hers, and he felt the moment where their heartbeats began to sync, their breathing both evening out somewhat. Still, Emma clearly had more on her mind, and since his wolf was rioting with impatience, Killian found himself compelled to ask her straight out how she was feeling. “Have you realized what you want, love?”

“I already know what I want,” She said with firm resolve as her fingertips traced a perfect path along his chest. “I knew what I wanted last night. Hell, part of me has known forever, I think. But there’s something… something I have to tell you.”

Killian’s stomach plummeted at the fear that he heard in her voice. It wasn’t subtle in the slightest. Emma wasn’t attempting to shield what she felt from him, but whatever it was he wanted her to know that he would fix it. Nothing could come between them if she loved him as he loved her. If she, as he knew she did, accepted him for every part of who and what he was, then love would find away. She just had to believe, and right now he had to remind her of that, by getting her to tell him what was worrying her.

“You can tell me anything, Emma,” he said as his fingers traced across her cheek. He looked at her, taking her in in all her splendor, and he hoped she knew how much he meant that. To be on the safe side, he assured her again. “You can tell me anything at all. Do you want to come inside?”

“I don’t trust myself inside,” Emma said. Her reason was clearly the same as Killian’s: she would be too tempted to take things further if they were alone and in his home together, and Killian’s chest swelled with pride, both at her candor and at how much she wanted him. Still it couldn’t fully take hold, not until all Emma’s doubts were alleviated.

“How about your spot, love. Would you feel safe there?”

Emma nodded, her eyes growing misty at his offer, and they walked together, hand in hand to the glen she’d shared with him only a few days ago. On the way, Killian gathered bits and pieces of what was to come. She had spoken with her father, and her worries stemmed from that. But it wasn’t because her father didn’t approve. He was on board, but there were parts of her past Killian still didn’t know.

When they arrived in the place that Killian would always think of as belonging to his mate, Killian waited until Emma was comfortable enough to tell him everything. They sat there in the subtle quiet of the woods for a moment, the hum of life around them calming even though he himself was agitated. Every second that he didn’t know what was wrong felt just a little bit painful, but finally, with a bravery he admired and adored, his Emma told him everything, sparing no detail, and leaving no stone she knew of unturned.

What Killian heard over the next few minutes astonished him. This new reality that Emma spoke of was so far away from anything he’d ever considered in the time since finding her again. Yes, hunters were talked about in shifter circles. They were a part of life for all clans and packs for centuries, a deadly threat that did exist and were known to take out rogue shifters or small groupings of them, but Killian had never really been afraid of them. His father was a terrible beast of a man, but he had always been able to protect the pack from those kinds of outside threats. Then, when Killian and his mother and brother ran away from his father, hunters had been more a legend to ponder than a real and actualized threat. For what were hateful humans compared to the brutality of Brennan Jones? Surely nothing that would keep Killian up at night.

Still it was wild to consider this new development. What were the chances that Emma’s family would be a part of this culture? For centuries they had known of shifters and chose to try and rid the world of them. That no doubt came from prejudice and pride, two things Emma spoke of as if she was trying to make sense of their terrible choices. Of course Emma had never been a part of that life, and her father had left it as soon as he could, making amends by healing shifters instead of harming them, but while Killian would never dream of attributing blame to Emma simply because of her heritage, she was clearly terrified that that was exactly what would happen.

“I can’t even imagine what you’re thinking,” Emma said in a rush, after confessing the whole story so quickly that parts of it still hadn’t fully sunk in with Killian. “This isn’t what you signed up for I know. I have… baggage, I guess? Can you even call a segment of your family tree who were homicidal crazy people baggage? I don’t know. All I know is I don’t want to trap you. If this is too much I need you to tell me. I need you to -,”

Though Killian knew Emma wanted to discuss this more and to try and talk through it, in this moment he knew what his mate truly needed. She needed to be assured of the truth – that he was going nowhere if she wasn’t by his side. She was his life, his love, his whole world, and nothing and no one was going to change that. This news was staggering. It was a complication in a tapestry between them that was already convoluted and filled with more intrigue than most, but it played no role in his love for her. Nothing would ever be able to chase his desire for her away. She was his forever, and it was time that Emma knew that once and for all.

To show her, he silenced her with a kiss and he didn’t bother with politeness or gentle touches. It was hard, fast, and forceful. One minute he’d been holding her hand, quietly listening to her, and the next he’d pulled her to him. She was on his lap, straddling him where he sat in an instant, and as his intentions became clear, Emma gave herself to the sensations too. She met him for every lick and stroke and nip. Her hands traced their own frenzied patterns on his skin, as her heartbeat accelerated to a pace that thudded loudly in his ears. Without words Killian knew that he was telling her everything she needed to know, but just at the moment where sanity was about to leave him and he almost moved to claim her out here in these hidden woods, he pulled back, filling the space between them with a simple truth.

“This is too much, Emma, but not in the way you’re thinking. I’m not sitting here worried about your family or mine. The past is the past. It doesn’t define us. It never has. What matters is the way I feel when you’re here with me. I feel like I can only breathe when I’m with you. Life is duller and darker without you, even if it’s only hours that we’re apart. I need you more than I need anything else. Without you… well, love, I simply can’t fathom a world where I even exist without you now. I need to be yours Emma, and I am desperately hoping that you need to be mine too.”

“I do,” Emma whispered, pressing her forehead against his as she closed her eyes and took a steadying breath. “I really really do. I love you, Killian, and I don’t want to wait anymore. Make me yours.”

It took everything in Killian to resist that all-too-sweet request. He actually growled at the thought, his animal living for the idea of laying Emma out here on the grass and making her fall apart a thousand ways before taking her and mating her out here in the natural world. But for their first time – for the mating they would remember most of all – Killian knew Emma deserved better. She deserved romance, and he had planned for this, hoping such a moment would come for both of them.

Sweeping her up into his arms, Killian moved as quickly as he could through the woods with Emma in his hold. She giggled at the gesture, commenting that he was so strong, and that it must be some kind of ‘shifter bonus,’ but she really didn’t grasp how true that was. Tonight she’d find out, when he waivered between the tenderness of his love for her and the roughness of his animal instincts. But for now he would let her think he was simply her valiant protector. If she wanted a white knight, then that’s exactly what he would be.

When they made it inside his home once more, Killian let Emma down to her feet and he closed the door behind them. He kept her wrapped up in him, unable to let her go, but when they shifted their position, Emma looked from him to their surroundings and she gasped. He knew what she saw though he didn’t dare to take his eyes off of her. He had filled the space with beauty, trying to change his ordinary cottage and make it someplace more magical. There were tiny tea lights everywhere, and he’d chosen them specifically because he knew that Emma would love them. They were classic and romantic, at least according to the woman in the shop he’d gone to just outside of Storybrooke a few days back. Amongst those soft flames there were also flowers. They spanned all types and species. Some he’d found out here in the woods he’d grown to love, and that he knew Emma loved too, but others he had gotten from the florist today. The mix of roses, sunflowers and a wild mixture filled the air with a sweet, pleasant scent, but all Killian could sense was Emma in all her perfection.

“Killian, this is…” Emma’s words caught in her throat and though he knew she was talking about the ambiance around them, he filled in her statement with his own thoughts about the woman who stood before him. 

“Entrancing. Totally and completely." 

Emma looked back at him, seeing his intent was to compliment her and then she was on him, closing the space and taking another kiss. That kiss turned hotter and more seductive, and soon Emma was tugging at the clothes that separated them. They made quick work of stripping those away, leaving layer after layer on the ground and revealing more of each other as they did. Their movements were guided by instinct, but it flowed with a grace Killian never expected. Perhaps it was a gift of true mates, but there was no jerkiness or awkward moments. Though this was wholly new, it was also the most familiar dance for both of them. 

Moving Emma from the living room to what would forever more be _their_ bedroom, Killian felt his needs rising by the second. He had a million ways he wanted to love his better half. He had to hold her, taste her, mark her. By the end of the mating moon, Killian wanted him and Emma to both know that she was fully claimed. He craved the chance to leave traces all along her beautiful body, most of which she’d be able to hide, but some of which the world would have to see. Claiming Emma would be extensive and all consuming, and for Killian’s sanity, there needed to be no avoiding how tied together they were. The only problem was that Killian didn’t know where to begin, but he followed his instincts as he lay Emma out on his bed, examining every inch of her bared body and salivating at the sight.

Gazing down at his fated mate, there was no denying that Emma was perfection itself. From the creaminess of her skin, to the lithe but still full curves of each slope of her figure, there was nothing in the world more gorgeous than her. Killian was mesmerized by her eyes, her lips, her slender neck. His eyes moved lower, down to her breasts where they held a moment. He imagined the pleasure he’d create for both of them there, then his eyes tracked lower, seeing her toned, flat abdomen and thinking that someday he’d make her swell there. When she carried their children – their pups as wolf shifters often called them – she would grow into something even more remarkable. He growled at the very thought, his eyes tracking lower to the vee between her legs that he had to get his mouth on. But in the heat of the moment, the last thing he expected was to hear the musical melody of Emma’s laughter. It was a surprise, even as it washed over him and made him feel so bloody good. He was powerless to ignore the sound, and when his eyes climbed back up to hers she smiled and explained.

“I can’t help but think of all those stories about the big bad wolf I heard as a kid when you look at me like this,” Emma said, biting her lip absentmindedly and drawing his gaze back to her tempting mouth. Killian hummed a sound of appreciation and understanding, after all, it was only natural she should think of such a thing, her being human and all, but when he actually spoke his voice was gruff and growly, feeding into those old fairy tales more than he meant to.

“And are you frightened, love?”

“Hardly. Well…” she drew out the word on purpose, knowing what it did to him. “I guess I am a little scared. Scared that you’ll keep looking and not claiming me like you promised.”

The words were all Killian needed to pounce, and Emma’s responding sounds of shock and want only spurred him on further. He set about tasting her as he wanted, trailing kisses from that fierce and feisty mouth of hers down her jaw and to her neck. Once there he left a trail of kisses and of bites that didn’t quite break the skin. That part he would save for when they were finally joined together, but that didn’t mean these perusals wouldn’t leave marks of their own. In the morning light, Killian knew Emma would be a certifiable map of all the places he had touched and pleased her, and as he moved down to her breasts as one of his hands moved down her body and slipped between her thighs, he was certain that pleasure was exactly what she felt.

“Killian!”

Her heady sigh, turned to a moan as his fingers went from teasing her, to purposefully pulling at the strings of her desire. He circled her clit with his thumb as two fingers moved inside her and his mouth remained at the swells of her breasts. He could hear her straining for breath, seconds from falling apart and then he demanded that she do so, and in an instant Emma came, crashing into the wave of ecstasy that he’d wanted to give her since the moment he arrived in Storybrooke.

“ _Fuck_ , how can you be real, Emma?” he asked his sincerity bleeding through as he watched her in awe while she came down from her high. She blinked away the haze of her climax and quickly returned to him and this moment again, the lust and love in her eyes shining through. Then she smiled and ran her fingers through his hair in a gesture that somehow gave him just as much pleasure as seeing her fall apart. “You’re too remarkable – too incredible to comprehend.”

“I think that all the time, only I think it about you.”

Killian breathed her in and exhaled fully. He wanted to stay in check for this. Being too rough would not be good. Emma needed him to be stronger than that. She needed –

“Don’t hold back with me, Killian. Never with me.”

Her insight into his thinking and her gentle affirmation was too much to be born. He was in motion again, moving down her body until his lips were at her sex. He’d imagined this moment countless times. Her scent called to him in every way and her taste was somehow more sublime. He was a starved man for her, and he took her with his mouth without any kind of calm. Emma, for her part, loved it. She writhed beneath him, begging for more and taking it when he gave it to her. He made her fall apart once, twice, and only when she’d cried out his name in that raspy, lust-filled way a third time did he move back up her body again, leaving his marks along the way. This was all, no doubt, exhausting to his mate, but soon enough he’d share his essence with her, and between their bond and the strength of the full moon, she’d be revived, finding the energy to continue their mating for hours to come.

When he was finally back above her, looking into Emma’s eyes and seeing so much trust and hope Killian was speechless. For a moment, he couldn’t imagine a way to speak the words that still needed saying, but the tension in his body and the aching hardness of his own need clawed at him. He somehow found a way to form the words, and they were ones she most certainly needed to hear.

“Before we do this, Emma, I need to tell you one more time that this means forever. Shifters don’t usually marry. There’s nothing more intense or all consuming than mating as one on the first full moon. We’ll be together forever if we do this now. Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” Emma agreed immediately, leaving him no room for doubt or insecurity.

“Thank God for that,” he said angling towards her and feeling the flushed heat of her skin on his.

“Full disclosure my Mom is going to demand a wedding, shifter bond or not.”

“If she doesn’t, I will. My only request is that it happens soon,” Killian said, surprising Emma by shifting their positions and putting her on top. She wouldn’t stay up here all night, and when he claimed her, this position would have to change, but for now he needed the vision she made for with her hair tumbling down around her, her eyes filled with a heady mix of satisfaction and hunger for more. In a word she was everything, and he could never dream of deserving her. 

“How soon?” Emma asked as she got her bearings and Killian growled. He knew she was simply curious, not trying to deny him, but if he had his way they’d be married as soon as he’d finished claiming her today and tonight.

“I’ll let you decide that, love.” 

“You’d let me have control?” Emma said, her tone suggesting things far beyond the particulars of their would-be wedding. It was matched by her actions as she came above him, teasing them both without actually taking him inside.

“I’d let you have anything, Emma. Everything I have to give.” It occurred to him then there was still one tiny part that needed disclosing. “And speaking of. There’s a chance I’d give you more than just my love tonight, love.”

“I’m on the pill,” Emma countered, somehow knowing when he looked down at her exposed stomach that he meant a baby and Killian shook his head.

“Human forms of contraception aren’t exactly designed with fated mates in mind, love. I could still get you pregnant.”

“Oh my God, seriously?” she asked, and for only a split second Killian was worried, then he saw her delight at the revelation. “God, why is that so hot?” she said with a groan and Killian growled himself, finding his control had slipped too early. He was back to being above her now, but Emma didn’t seem remiss. Instead she clearly wanted that. “Claim me, Killian. Make me yours like you're already mine.”

He had no choice but to heed his mate’s request, and from there the heat of mating frenzy took over. The power of the moon was guiding them both, even though the moon still wasn’t at her strongest. It heightened everything. Every sensation was stronger and surer, and both Killian and Emma absorbed the strength too. It could have been hours that they continued this way, the pleasure washing over them more times than they could count, but finally, things slowed, if only for a moment. Killian came with a final roar, a sound more befitting a beast than a man, and then he solidified the mating with a sharp bite to her perfect flesh. Emma did the same instinctively without his having to tell her, and he felt the added euphoria of her mark in that moment, the pleasure of it rocking him to the core. With that, the mating was official – they were one now, one soul in two bodies, and Killian had never felt more at peace.

“That was…” Emma trailed off, failing to find the words for all that was as Killian chuckled, not sure where he found the strength after taking her so hard. It had to be the mating heat. There was no other earthly way that someone could muster the energy with all they’d just done.

“Aye, love. And there’s more where that came from.”

“Are you serious?” Emma asked, and though she sound somewhat appalled at the thought that there could be more, there was also something else lacing her beautiful voice – desire. For as much as they’d already had, Emma still wanted more, and Killian felt himself falling just a little more for her because of it.

“Afraid so,” he said, already feeling himself growing hard for her again and knowing that mating heat or not, it would always be like this with Emma. Once would never be enough. No amount could ever be.

“You, afraid?” Emma said, smiling like the secret vixen that she was. “Now that I don’t believe.”

And though she was right, for he wasn’t actually afraid of this pull between them, Killian did show her over and over again just how serious he was. And when the night was over, and the moon had mostly played her part, the heat and love still remained, a testament to all that they were building, and all that they would share for now and forever more…

…………………

Staring out the window of the coffee shop where he currently resided, Liam Jones felt the weight of the summer rains washing down on this Seattle afternoon.

The air around him was heavy and wet, and the inside of this café did little to counteract the dreary feeling. The downpours dulled his senses and filled the world with an ambient hum, and his wolf hated that, snarling from within to let Liam know just how distasteful his animal found their current dwelling. Tonight was the full moon, and a wolf was meant to be outside, to live in the wilds, to cave to the creature within. But where the beast wanted to roam and track and hunt, the man knew to play this smart. It was how he’d made it this long without fully breaking – he never shifted. He hadn’t in a very long time.

The reason for the restraint was simple; with each shift another piece of him would fall away, crumbling into nothing. At first it hadn’t been so apparent. He believed he was okay, that the bite couldn’t truly control him. But slowly sickness crept in, and the only way to keep a steady mind was to resist his baser instincts. He couldn’t give in, though fighting off the twisted alpha call inside of him exhausted him to no end. Liam pretended that this caffeine fix would help, but he knew it wouldn’t. It would take a dozen cups of coffee to make a dent on a normal shifter, and he was no longer normal anymore. He was… well Liam didn’t know what or who he was anymore. He was a stranger and a monster even to himself.

“Can I get you anything else, sugar?” The barista who had been circling for the hour he had been here asked. Liam shook his head, not caring that he was rude and aloof. This woman was barking up the wrong tree as the terrible saying went, and he wasn’t interested, despite what she may want. “Are you sure? You went through that first one real quick and you’ve just been sitting here since, staring out that window. Are you waiting for something?”

Liam was about to stand to leave, dismissing the woman without giving her anything, but then something happened. He was suddenly hit with a sense of knowing that defied description and it came seemingly out of nowhere.

The force of awareness that slammed into his mind and body physically caused Liam to flinch in his seat. It was an impact he had long hoped for, but never truly imagined would ever come. After years of feeling severed, like a part of him was amputated from his very flesh, at last he had his senses back. Killian – his brother – he was alive, and Liam knew immediately where he was. For some reason their pack bond had been reinstated, or at least to a point. Their connection wasn’t clear as it had once been, but it was there. It was there!

The details of where this connection was coming from were shaky. Liam dealt with nothing more than flashes for a moment. Visions of green leaves in an untamed northern climate, of a calm sea off a rocky shore, and a small town set up moved through his brain like fragments of memories he’d made himself. There were people in the line up, ordinary people, but one woman came up over and over again. A blonde woman with green eyes. She was pretty, but the feelings attached to the image told Liam the truth – this girl mattered to Killian. No, she more than mattered. She was his life – his mate. How unbelievable.

In the midst of these waves of feelings and fragments, a sign appeared for context. It was the best clue Liam had of where his brother might actually be, a green placard on which there was script: _Welcome to Storybrooke_ , it said, and Liam knew that wherever the bloody hell Storybrooke was, that was where he had to be.

“Brother,” Liam said, his voice harsher than even his ears were used to.

“Your brother?” the barista asked, her tone confused and pulling Liam back into the café where he was instead of the memories where he’d been. “Is he coming here?" 

“No,” Liam said, not explaining himself as he grabbed his coat and immediately strode as fast as he could from the coffee shop. _I’m going to him._

**_Post-Note: So… do you hate me? Do you love me? Where are we at with this chapter? I mean Emma and Killian are very in love and the mating has happened. They are in this together forever now, but I couldn’t just let it end there. I had to include Liam, and I do have to be honest with you guys, Liam is very much an unknown at this point. I always knew the mating would reopen the former pack link that Killian and Liam had, and now… well we have to wait and see what happens now that Liam is able to track him again. Is Liam good or bad? Is he somewhere in between? I’m not telling, at least not for a few weeks yet. Hopefully I can get the next chapter out in two weeks, but because I have been so bogged down with school work, this is actually the last full chapter I have written. As such it might be more like three weeks for the update to come. Anyway, can’t wait to hear what you all think, and thanks so much for reading!!_ **


	12. Chapter 12

**_A/N: All right everyone, I know I left us on a huge cliffhanger last time, and I am about to drop yet another slightly angsty chapter in your lap… I know I know I am terrible! But the muse wants what she wants and as this story has come to me it’s been very layered. These hard parts of the story factor so fully into the beauty I see ahead, and I feel like it would be doing a disservice to you all if I didn’t give you the full context. That being said, this is a hard flashback, one that my more softhearted readers might want to avoid. There’s still goodness and fluff and a little smut for good measure, of course, but the story is getting complicated. Never fear, CS is golden and together and committed. Nothing will be changing that as we move forward. They’re mates and they are bonded. That being said, there’s some work to be done before we can get to happily ever after, and I hope you will all stick with me through it! Thanks for reading and please, let me know what you think!_ **

Smiling. It was a simple gesture to many people, something they were used to doing more often than not, but for Killian Jones it had been years since he had smiled with any regularity. That being said, there was simply no comparing his past and his present. At this juncture in his life, he was easily the happiest he had ever been, and he couldn’t contain that exhilaration as he woke up a few days after the mating moon with a grin already plastered to his face.

The past forty-eight hours had been an incredible time, and Killian couldn’t begin to decide what part was best. All of it had been the makings of the most wonderful dream, and though it was outrageous that he should be so happy after a life spent so long in darkness, he had to believe it would continue. Holding Emma in his arms right now as she slept, Killian could feel their connection clear as day. She was wrapped up in him fiercely, as if even her unconscious self couldn’t bear to be apart from him, and he understood that feeling so acutely. The thought of leaving Emma’s side for any reason tore at Killian too much to be abided, and in two days they’d barely left this cabin, choosing to lock themselves away and indulge in this alone time as much as they could.

In that time, Killian had learned more about his love than he knew before. They had been so connected, not just physically but emotionally too. In between their mating moments there was downtime and quiet, filled with shared thoughts and hopes and wishes. He’d listened as Emma talked about what kind of life she’d always seen for herself, a life filled with both the purpose of her work and the love and central importance of family and friends. He related to that wish most ardently, even if he didn’t have the passion of a profession to keep him occupied. It was no matter to Killian. His work as Emma’s mate would be to make every one of those wants that she confessed to him come true if he could. There seemed to be nothing out of the realm of possibility in what she’d confided, and since his drive to be the perfect partner and mate was unmatched, Killian knew his sheer force of will would find a way.

The thought of that endeavor and of building a life with his woman had Killian pulling Emma closer. He closed his eyes and inhaled her perfect scent, reveling in the feeling of her laying here, right where she belonged. He didn’t want to wake her – God knew Emma needed the rest after the non-stop sex they’d been having for days – but she moved a bit in her sleep, cuddling closer and causing her golden hair to fall away behind her. The subtle shift in her position immediately drew the eye to the new mark Killian had left on her skin, one that would remain forever just as their first meeting marks did weeks ago.

In the midst of all of the passion and love that came with cementing their bond during the full moon, Killian’s attentions to his other half broke ‘normal’ human bonds to something more. In the heat of the moment, as he’d reached yet another high at the hand of his love, Killian’s animal had gotten out a bit more than it should, and he’d bitten Emma with enough fervor to leave a shifter scar. The moment was purely instinctual and more than a little primitive, and he knew it was common place for shifter mates. Bites and markings to signal love and a territorial bond was normal in his world, but the problem was that even if it felt so damn right to bite her and leave that sign of him and his claim, part of Killian hated himself for doing it. He might be a shifter, but Emma was human. She wasn’t fragile because of it, but she did deserve so much more. She needed to be protected and cherished, and he’d allowed himself to be too rough, taking too much even if it felt fucking perfect in the moment.

When he came back down from that ecstasy point that making love to Emma always brought, biting back an actual howl of satisfaction, Killian was initially mortified, even as his blood pumped with pure adrenaline. He should be totally ashamed of hurting Emma. He knew that it was wrong to bite her like that, leaving the etched mark of his canines against her creamy and once pristine skin. It had to be wrong, right? But then he looked into Emma’s eyes and what he saw there was nothing like pain. All that shone in those jade depths was a satisfied, simmering lust, and a love so strong it still left him breathless. Eventually her lips turned up at the corners, her knowing smirk lighting something inside of him and she laughed, the giggle sounding so bloody brilliant he could have died right there and been the happiest of men.

Unexpectedly, Emma managed to use the moment to flip their positions, taking the lead in their lust-fueled dance and leaving him mindless with want as she did. It was unfathomable how much he craved her, how badly he needed every last ounce of her desire and passion and love, but this time, as he felt her get close she was the one to lean down, her mouth latching on the spot that mirrored his bite to her. She didn’t hold back and he felt the sharp sting only for a second before absolute euphoria hit his every last sense. He was powerless to not go over the edge, and when he finally came back to himself, it was Emma’s turn to look a bit regretful…

_“Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have done that, right?”_

_“Emma -,” he wanted to immediately reassure her, but she broke into his thoughts with more of her own._

_“No, it’s just you’re a shifter. That’s probably part of the ritual or something but I’m just…”_

_“The single most remarkable creature who has ever lived?” Emma’s brow furrowed even as her cheeks stained a deeper shade of pink._

_“That’s not what I -,” he interrupted her this time by flipping her back to a lying position as he moved above her, dropping kisses in between his words,_

_“The most beautiful woman the world over?”_

_“Killian,” she breathed, the sound a mix of censure and desire all at once._

_“The most incredible mate fate could ever design?” Killian asked, and Emma’s tears grew misty as she reached up to where she’d placed her own mark on him._

_“You’re not mad?”_

_“Never, Emma. I’m yours to do with as you wish. I love you, and soon enough I think you’ll realize that your wants are my wants. Always."_

_Those words were enough to set his mate’s mind at ease again, but instead of resting up in the face of all this passion, the two of them were famished for it yet again, starting the cycle all over again and spending the whole night chasing that beautiful bliss…_

“I don’t get how you can be so bright eyed and bushy tailed this early in the day,” Emma’s voice said from beside him, pulling Killian from the recollections of last night. His mate hadn’t even opened her eyes yet, but when she did, she found exactly what she’d been expected and she smiled despite herself. “Don’t you ever need to sleep?”

“It seems not, love. And I suspect this will come in handy down the line.” 

“Oh really?” Emma asked, stretching her limbs and humming out a questioning sound as she awaited his response. Too late he realized it might be too much to say aloud. It was jumping the gun a bit, as people liked to say, but with Emma he wanted no secrets. So he had to tell her the truth of what he’d been thinking. It was the only way.

“Aye, love. Someday when we have little ones that need tending to, that lack of need for sleep might come in handy. I’ve no actual experience with pups, but I’ve heard in the beginning they’re up all hours.”

Emma stared at him without responding for a moment. She blinked a few times, and Killian waited to see what her response would be. Would she think he was mad for suggesting that children would be coming soon? He would wait as long as she wanted, but in his heart he knew he was ready for that step with Emma. He could just imagine her carrying their child, glowing with the life the two of them had helped to create and it had him hard as could be. Then his thoughts shifted to Emma as a mother, and he knew that no matter how young they were she would be the best kind of Mum. She had every proper skill and feeling and quality. She was a wonder, and any child of theirs would be so lucky to have her.

“Sorry, did you just say _pups_?” Emma asked, and Killian bit back a groan as he scratched behind his ear.

“I did. It’s a shifter thing, love. They won’t shift until their older if they inherit my abilities, but…” 

“But baby wolves are called pups. That’s so… strangely adorable. I love it.”

Killian breathed a sigh of relief at Emma’s words, but instead of saying how happy he was at her response he showed her instead, kissing her still smiling lips and sparking the fire that had been quelled only slightly as they had slept. It took no time at all for them to be ramped up back to the highs of the past few days, and Killian thought to himself that this was the only way to start his mornings – in bed with Emma and planning out which way to ravish her first

Bringing himself above her, Killian allowed his dirtier thoughts to guide him. His mouth trailed across her skin, making its way down her graceful form as Emma’s breathing grew more and more labored. She should be spent still. They should both be completely exhausted, but there always seemed to be more energy and more love to give. He smiled at the thought, and at the way Emma almost flinched when his lips came to her breasts. Her jerked movement spoke to surprise, but the way she arched closer told him she wanted more. Much much more. And of course he was beholden to her every wish and whim. If his Emma wanted to be pleased, he would damn well please her. 

“God, this mating heat might actually kill me,” Emma said, her words sounding pained after he toyed with her for a few more moments, using his hand and mouth to have his wicked way with her. He chuckled at that, and he watched as the goose bumps broke out on her bare flesh.

“I told you, Emma, the heat has passed. It’s just us now. Has been for hours.” 

“Oh right. See it’s hard to tell because the sex just keeps getting better,” she quipped and Killian growled out a sound of pure pride.

“Does it, love?”

“You know it does,” Emma said with a feigned huff and Killian felt his gut tighten at the sight. Emma was always brilliant, but damn if there wasn’t something about her faking disdain that turned him on even more. Who was he kidding? Everything she did turned him on. “And you also know that I can only take so much…”

Killian thought back to all he’d learned from both her words and her actions over the past few days and he grinned again. It was true – Emma had definite limits when it came to her lust. She needed to be sated, and in bed she could be a greedy little thing in the moment. When her body was wound tight it sought nothing in the world but release, but that was perfect as far as he was concerned. He wanted to give her so much they both nearly broke, taking things right to the edge and landing before it in that perfect state of bliss.

“I know, Emma. God above I know.”

The moments from there began to blur together. So much dizzying pleasure was too much to follow closely, and soon Killian lost track of how many times they’d both surrendered themselves completely. He took her with his mouth, then he filled her as he wanted, losing himself in her more than once but never losing that stamina or want. The mating moon was gone, but there was still so much fire left between them. It was almost impossible to find contentment, but when they did… God it was unreal.

“That’s it. You’ve officially ruined me,” Emma said, her voice breathy as she shook her head before looking him in the eyes with love and trust. 

“I thought I’d done that already,” Killian hedged, his voice giving away a hint of worry at the fact that she might not have felt completely branded by him and only him before.

“Oh you had. You ruined me for all other men the day we met. I just meant bigger picture stuff. Like work and friends and a social life. I don’t know how to do all that. It’s gone. There’s just…”

“Us,” Killian filled in smiling. He knew it was exaggeration, and that though Emma might be wrapped up in him now, her heart had never lost any of its love for her family and friends. Still it filled him up with brightness to hear her say these words. It meant he was enough, and that somehow he was proving himself worthy of the most precious gem in all the world.

Emma’s lips moved to form some sort of reply, one Killian was desperate to hear aloud, but before she could get her thoughts out a knock came at the door. Immediately Killian was on alert. Fuck! Who could that be? And more importantly how had he completely failed to hear any sign of an incoming visitor before now?

“Are we expecting company today?” Emma asked, sitting up a bit in bed and looking at him with genuine curiosity. Little did she realize that her words made his heart stutter in his chest. She hadn’t asked if _he_ was expecting anyone, but if they were at a unit. She was grouping them together, making them parts of a single whole and that was a gift of gigantic proportion.

But truth be told he was not anticipating anyone’s arrival, and the fact that there was an unannounced caller had him more on edge than he’d been in days. There should be no reason for anyone to be out here. Graham and Tink would never think of it, and Emma’s parents… shit maybe this was them. Mary Margaret Nolan was a determined woman, and she seemed to never find a line she didn’t like crossing. Similarly there was the possibility it was Emma’s friends. Anna especially seemed the type who might ‘happen to drop by’ but Killian certainly hoped not. If he were lucky it would be nothing, just an imagined noise that could be ignored. Unfortunately a louder knock came jut a moment later, this time more forceful, and Killian moved to respond. He threw on some clothes to cover himself and moved from the bedroom with one last kiss to Emma’s forehead. Again their visitor knocked and Killian felt his jaw clench in aggravation.

“All right, all right. Just hold your-,”

The words died as Killian opened the front door, revealing his cousin and her grandmother and the shock was substantial. Ruby was here! But why? And dear God why did she have that look in her usually cheerful but impish eyes? 

“Killian.”

Ruby’s voice almost squeaked as she spoke his name in greeting, and she looked both relieved to see him but also ghastly pale. She was clearly worried, and Killian couldn’t think of a time his cousin had ever been in such a state. Ruby was normally so vibrant and at ease, even when everything had happened with his father, she was withdrawn and weary, not manic or stricken. To see her this way… it sparked a chill through his spine and a strong sense of the worst kind of foreboding.

“Ruby? Granny?” Killian looked to the older woman again and he saw her eyes were filled with tears, and not just tears, but fearful tears, ones born from true anxiety and stress. She showed the full effect of whatever was worrying Ruby, and it struck like an icy blow to his confidence and peace of mind. _Fuck_ , whatever this was it was bad. Really bad. 

“I’m so sorry, Killian. You weren’t answering your phone and you have to know-,”

As Ruby was about to say the words that clearly haunted her, a floorboard creaked from further in the house and Killian turned back to see Emma, now fully dressed and waiting in the living room. She stilled when all eyes came to her and then she offered a small smile and a wave. “Uh, hi. Sorry. I thought you might be my parents or something.”

“Not yet. Your Dad’s still winning that fight to keep your Mom away… for now anyway,” Ruby said with a smile of her own, one that Killian was shocked actually touched her eyes. Moments ago his cousin looked like she’d never be happy again, but being near his mate seemed to have a similarly comforting effect on his cousin as it did for him. 

“You must be Ruby,” Emma said, not shying away from Ruby’s flaunting of her supernatural gifts as she stepped closer to them all. “And you must be Granny. I’ve heard a lot about you two.” 

“And we know so much about you, my dear,” Granny said as she came inside, leading Ruby and bringing Emma in for a hug. “We’re so happy you found our Killy. At the end of the day, that’s a gift. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“I won’t,” Emma promised, looking back at Killian with a smile after Ruby pulled in for a warm greeting as well. When the niceties were through with Emma and his family, he came back to her, taking her hand in his before Ruby spoke again.

“It’s so good to meet you, Emma. I’ve wanted to for so long. I know we’re going to be such good friends – I’ve seen it,” Ruby said with a laugh that was almost full, but still rattled with the shrill tones of an underlying fear. “I just wish our first meeting was under better circumstances.”

“What’s going on, Red?” Killian asked, her childhood nickname coming to the forefront thanks to his own mounting anxiety. The only thing keeping his heart rate somewhat steady was his mate’s hand in his, but Killian knew. He felt that terrible sinking feeling even before Ruby said the words. 

“He knows, Killian. He knows where you are and he’s coming here, now.”

And there it was. The coldest, most suffocating douse to the happiness they’d been feeling. Never in a million years did Killian think it would happen. He was supposed to be gone now. He’d done everything to block himself, to hide his tracks. How could this happen? And how could he ever make sure Emma was safe?

“Who? Who’s coming?” 

Emma’s question hung in the air, but Killian couldn’t say the words. He only looked at Ruby, silently pleading with her to say it was all a joke. Some wildly inappropriate joke, but a joke none the less.

“Killian…” Ruby said, looking back at Emma and then to him again, urging him to tell her but then Emma stunned them all by guessing who it was.

“It’s Liam isn’t it?” Emma asked and Killian’s eyes found hers, and he wondered how the hell she could know. “You said your family was all gone, but you only ever said your Mom and Brennan had actually died.”

Killian couldn’t look away from her, instead pulling her closer and feeling the relief when she held onto him too. Even when she broke her gaze from his and looked back to Ruby and Granny, Killian still felt sure and stable. Despite the discomfort and alarm that Liam’s knowing of his location brought, it was all out there now. For better or worse. Emma knew all of Killian’s past, or at least she was starting to.

“He survived the bite, didn’t he?” Emma asked and Ruby nodded. 

“Yes, he survived. Well… part of him anyway.”

And though he’d tried so hard to burn away the memory of that night forever, Killian couldn’t help but relive every damn second of it as Ruby told the story aloud… 

_“He bit you.”_

_Killian repeated the words aloud, but it still didn’t compute. Even though the proof was irrefutable, and he could see the mark of their father’s fangs there on Liam’s skin it was too much to fathom. His brother had been bitten, and now he was presumably cursed. No, worse than cursed: he was fated to become the kind of monster they both loathed most, at least if Ruby’s visions had been true._

_“That bastard. He just couldn’t help himself.”_

_Liam’s muttered words rang out hollow, not matching with the fear that Killian could still see etched in his brother’s expression. The realization that he’d been infected had gone over just as one might think. Liam was horrified even while he was unwilling to believe it. But then something happened. A change came over Liam, and the energy of that earnest denial and fear shifted to something Killian never expected this early: acceptance. The sense of eerie calm that his elder brother seemed to emulate within only moments of finding out his new fate clawed at Killian, and his apprehension leapt to an all time high. It sounded and now looked like Liam was giving up, and Killian couldn’t have that. He wasn’t ready to admit defeat, not when it meant losing the one person in this world that mattered to him the most._

_“It’ll be fine, Liam. We’ll figure something out. Ruby will see a way out of this. She always does. This isn’t the end.”_

_“Isn’t it?” Liam asked, his eyes tracking back to their father’s lifeless body, and his voice taking on an edge that made Killian’s skin crawl. “Soon I’ll be no better than him. Hell, I could be worse. I’m younger than he was. Stronger too. I’ve trained harder. Why shouldn’t I be every bit of the monster that he so desperately wanted to be?”_

_“You couldn’t – you_ won’t _,” Killian stressed, reaching for his brother, but Liam recoiled from the comforting touch, giving him a crazed look and shouting with a fury that hadn’t been there only seconds before._

_“Don’t touch me!”_

_Killian went still at his brother’s reprimand. Never in their lives had Liam ever taken a tone like that with him, but Killian knew it wasn’t truly his brother that he was dealing with. Because in that moment, the color of Liam’s eyes had turned a darker shade of navy that ran to inky black. The brilliant blue with the flecks of gold only ever found in wolf shifters was tainted, making Liam look like a child’s nightmare made real for the span of a few heart beats. The unnatural color was only there a moment, and then it was gone, but Killian couldn’t deny what he had seen, as much as he wanted to. It was the bite, the poison and the demons that alpha sickness brought, and whatever this sickness was, it was already spreading and spreading fact. His brother was being taken over, blackened by it all, and Killian felt helpless to stop it._

_“Killian, I’m sorry,” Liam said when he returned to his senses, his eyes normal again and his face filled with remorse. “I don’t – I can’t… I can’t control this.”_

_“I know you can’t. It’s not your fault, Liam, but we have to go. We have to get Ruby and get the hell out of here.”_

_Liam seemed almost wistful at those words and the mere idea of finding their cousin and then finding a cure, but he stayed where he was, rooted to his spot. “Brother, it’s not that simple.”_

_“Of course it’s not simple. But fuck if that means we aren’t trying! And if we have any chance of finding some sort of cure we have to -,”_

_“I can’t leave,” Liam whispered solemnly stopping Killian dead in his tracks._

_“What?”_

_“I said I can’t leave.” This time Liam spoke with more volume, and when he did he was using that same calm but almost lifeless tone, and it packed all the same impact as it had at the start._

_“Liam, you’re talking craziness. Can’t leave? What would possibly keep you? This place is toxic. Staying here is the worst thing you could do for yourself. We have to go, surely you see that.”_

_“And what of the pack?”_

_It made absolutely no sense to Killian that his brother should speak of the pack at all. It was never in their original plan to have any interaction with the politics of this place once Brennan was dead – what the hell did they care about these people? In Killian’s estimation they were all accomplices to his father’s terrorizing rein. All the good members of the clan had either fled or been killed since he was a boy. It was only them now and Ruby and Granny. Everyone else could hang for all Killian cared._

_“Fuck em. Fuck them all, Liam. We owe them nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing.”_

_“There’s more than just the bad, Killian. You know that. There are families here. Children – children in circumstances not so unlike our own.”_

_As Liam spewed out words that Killian just couldn’t bring himself to follow, he could feel a growing ache of pain at the back at the base of his head. The tension in his body was manifesting physically, cutting through the adrenaline he’d been running on, and he blinked a few times to try and fight it away. It was impossible to keep up with Liam right now, and how could he ever be expected to? His brother had just essentially received a death sentence that would be preceded by a seriously debilitating mental decline. This alpha sickness was toxic and destructive. It would erode the very goodness and good sense from his brother’s being. It would ruin everything Liam had built his life towards… and then it hit him._ This _was the sickness striking again. That urge to be alpha and to stay with the pack was what was guiding this new vision. It had to be, and the only way to potentially pull his brother from this was to make him see reason._

_“Be that as it may, it’s not our problem. Brennan is dead. They’ll all be fine. We’ve freed them from his tyranny, but we have to leave. Now.” They’d already been here too long. In truth it was shocking none of the guards or pack members they took out had come back here already. Time was absolutely not on their side._

_“You’re wrong, Killian. There’s no reason we can’t start over here. We can right his wrongs. We can make this pack whole again… but I need you, brother.”_

_“What you need is to be healed Liam, and that won’t happen here.”_

_Liam was silent in the face of the truth, but Killian could feel his brother’s thoughts through the bonded pull between them. As brothers their animals had always been even more in tune than the average members of a pack, and whether it was the intensity of the moment or the sickness spreading in his veins, Liam was even more readable now than before. His thoughts were fragmenting a bit, racing at a pace Killian was never used to from Liam, but the intention was clear. It turned out Liam didn’t believe healing would happen anywhere, and he wasn’t grieving that fact as he should. Instead he’d internalized his new fate, and he seemed impassive in the face of his new future._

_“I want you by my side in this, Killian. We could prove Brennan wrong. You wouldn’t have to lead, I know you’ve never wanted to. I can do that, but if we’re going to make this a smooth transition, we need to show a unified front.”_

_“Liam, I love you. You know I do,” Killian said trying to keep himself from breaking down in the face of this horribly sad turn. His brother was lost to him, he could sense it already, and it killed him to even think that, never mind accept it. “But there is nothing in the world that could ever entice me to do this. I won’t be a part of this. Not even for you.”_

_“Why can’t you see that this is the right thing to do?!” Liam bellowed, his new found anger winning out again, and though Killian wanted to recoil he remained unflinching in the face of the outburst. “You really believe, Brennan, don’t you? You think you’re better than me!”_

_“I’ve never thought that, Liam,” Killian vowed, and even now he didn’t think that way. No, if anything Killian could see that it was he who was the monster. If it weren’t for him, they never would have gone after Brennan in the first place and Liam would still be whole. All of this was thanks to Killian’s inability to put down his craving for revenge. Their mother was gone and nothing was ever going to bring her back, but still Killian had been relentless in his pursuit. Now it seemed his penance was to watch the man he always looked up to crumble into madness, another casualty of the darkness that Killian couldn’t fix or remedy._

_“You’re lying! I can see it all over your face. The hate you feel, the anger! Don’t try and deny it!” Liam said the words while moving around the space, and Killian could see that though his brother was still in human form it was a wolf’s pace. This signaled upcoming aggression, but Killian wasn’t willing to fight his brother. He would truly do anything to avoid it._

_“I do feel hate, and anger. But not towards you. Towards -,”_

_“Brennan, is dead Killian,” Liam said with a sneer that was more like their father than Killian had ever thought Liam capable of being. “There’s no reason to feel so much for him anymore. He’s gone now, and we’re still here.”_

One of us is, _Killian thought to himself sadly, but he hadn’t been careful enough in concealing his thoughts from his brother and the look of shock and hurt that crossed Liam’s face was soon swallowed whole by a paranoid rage._

_“So that’s your plan then?” Liam said, his voice dripping in condescension and burning Killian even as it brought a bitter frost to the air between them. “You want to take me out because of this?”_

_“I never said that, Liam, I would never -,”_

_“No you won’t, because I won’t let you!”_

_Instantly Liam sprung back towards him, shifting in the blink of an eye and hitting Killian full on as he was mid-shift. The tussle was fraught with too much energy as adrenaline pulsed through both of their veins. It was terrifying for Killian, and undoubtedly worse than anything they’d faced before. Their mother’s murder, their father’s death… none of it compared to this fight where his choices were both miserable. Submit to his brother and die, having wasted so much of his life in a darkness of his own design, or rise up and stop his brother, ending this cycle of madness while also ending the last good part of himself in the process._

_A moment finally came when that choice had to be made, and in the end it was instinct that instructed Killian. His wolf’s will to survive was too strong, and when he got the upper hand on Liam he took it. He was trying to figure out a way in the few seconds he had the upper hand to knock his brother out and somehow get him back to Ruby, but then he heard the voice in his mind._

Do it, brother. Kill me. Save me and save yourself. Because if you don’t…

_Killian’s heart stopped, both at the plea for Killian to kill him and the images that flashed through Liam’s mind. It was the sickness’s plan – to ascend not just to leader of the pack, but true alpha of their clan. For a moment Killian felt his heart would never beat again, but Killian could see in Liam’s eyes the pain and anguish that such thoughts created. Still, he also saw the battle there. The beast inside of Liam had made this desperate plea the most impossible thing to beg for even as it was slowly eroding his brother’s will to fight. In truth, this moment showed his brother’s strength, and it gave Killian hope that Liam would somehow defeat the monster brewing inside, but then Liam’s eyes went dark again and he tried to bite Killian and that moment was gone._

_With his choice now made, Killian struck a final blow, knowing it would knock his brother out without killing him. It would deny Liam that last rational wish, but Killian could never have granted it. Not in a thousand years. He loved his brother too much, and maybe that was selfish, but he wouldn’t be the one to kill Liam. It was asking too much of him, and after everything he’d done, and everything he’d become – he couldn’t do that. That inability to act then made it so that now all Killian could was run. He had to get as far away from here as he could, and he had to do it fast, because if Liam’s desire to be true alpha was real then he would never stop hunting for Killian. As the one who had killed their father, it was Killian, not Liam who had inherited the pack’s true alpha spirit. Liam could technically rise to that post, but it would always be Killian who had earned it in the eyes of nature, at least until he himself was taken out._

_Before he could leave, however, Killian knew he had to say goodbye to Liam. This would likely be the last time he ever saw his brother, for he was going straight away to Ruby and to Granny. The three of them would be gone as fast as possible, and they’d never come back, of that he was sure. That meant that he was leaving Liam forever, and that ate him up inside more than anything ever could._

_“You can still fight this, Liam. I know that you can, if you find the will. I only wish I could help you, but I know there’s no way that I can. If you can hear me, if the battle isn’t already lost inside your mind, then please, I beg you to fight. Fight as long as you’re able. Stay the brother that I know. You’re more than Brennan ever could be, because you are_ good _. Really and truly good. You’re the best person I know, Liam,… God, I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.”_

_Tears fell as Killian crouched low by his brother, but then he heard the murmurings of others waking up, and he knew it was only a matter of time before Liam rose too. Killian’s window of escape was closing and he had to get out. He would find Ruby and Granny and get them to safety, and then… Well God only knew what would become of him then…_

“We fled that night,” Granny said as she held onto Ruby’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “It was the only home we had ever known, but it had to be done. We didn’t know what would become of Liam, and Ruby’s visions were scattered. He was too volatile. Too unknown.”

“And you’ve never heard from him again in all these years?” Emma asked, her hands holding onto Killian’s, pulling him back from the vivid and painful memories he’d been reliving. 

“Never,” Ruby said, the sound of tears clogging her voice even as she pushed through. “We didn’t even risk checking in. My magic can only do so much. I’ve dedicated it to the block, and if we made the usual inquiries…”

“Someone could find you and it would all be for nothing,” Emma said, filling in, sparing his cousin from having to speak more about it. 

“And in the end he still found me,” Killian said, his voice gruff with the intensity of all he felt. On the one hand, he had missed his brother terribly… but Killian was no fool. Years had passed since then, and every day that sickness would have fermented in Liam’s system more and more. Killian could only imagine what his brother was like now. After their last meeting, Killian was half convinced his brother’s intention is coming here was to take that earned alpha status once and for all.

The thought of that had always haunted him, but now things were so different. He had Emma to think of, and he had put her in such grave danger. She didn’t realize what she’d done in bonding herself to him, and if he ever thought it possible that their mating would shift the block… well it suffice it to say he never considered such a horrible thing could come from such a miracle. 

Part of Killian wanted to say that he would have never gone through with the mating given the trouble that was now en route, but that was a lie. Nothing in the world, not even such a peril as a bite-stricken Liam could have kept Killian from Emma. He just regretted that she hadn’t fully known it all before. He never imagined it would be like this, that the power of their love would override his cousin’s magic. Now they were all at risk. Emma, her friends, her family, and it was his fault. It was always his fault.

“Are we in immediate danger, Ruby?” Emma asked, surprising Killian and Ruby and Granny too. “I mean obviously he’s coming here, you’ve seen that. But do we have time?” 

“Days, maybe a week or two even? I see woods and forest, not highways or tarmac. But at the same time it doesn’t feel like wolf form? I can’t really make sense of it. I need to ask Elsa if she’s seen anything in her dreams. Her closeness to you makes it possible. Liam is a threat to her family, so her gift has likely been tracking him.”

“Elsa? As in my Elsa?” Emma asked, and Killian looked to his cousin, surprised that she’d make such a bold announcement so soon. He knew of course that Emma’s friend was at least a little touched with magic, but from the genuine smile that turned up on Ruby’s face he could see it must be more than that.

“Your friend is one of the most gifted witches the world has seen in a generation, and she has no idea. Her legacy is vibrant and beautiful, but she lost her mother and her grandmother too soon. I knew I was supposed to come and help her find her way eventually, but I saw it very differently before your mating. Very differently.” 

“A witch…” Emma mused aloud, her eyes fogging over for a moment before she shook her head and smiled. Her expression looked almost proud, and it touched Killian’s heart even through the panic of the moment. “Well whenever you tell her, I have to be there, and so does Anna.”

“That’s a given. And before you ask, yes, we can make ourselves comfortable for a bit. You two have some talking to do, and we’re all safe enough for now.”

“Thank you,” Emma said, before looking to Killian with hope in her eyes and he was helpless to do anything but follow her as she left the confines of his cabin and started moving through the woods he was starting to know so well. What he didn’t expect, however, was that Emma would head out of the forest groves and towards the clearings of the coast. In a few short minutes they found themselves at the Storybrooke beach, not the stretch where they’d had that first date, but a rockier more private cove Killian had never really noticed before. Still, while the place was calm and quiet, Killian couldn’t help but wonder why they’d come here.

“I’m assuming this extra sense of knowing things is the mating bond at play, but I could tell you were restless and that in the past the sea has calmed you.”

Despite the weight of the world that Killian was carrying on his shoulders he barked out something like a chuckle, and a good memory from long ago filtered through his mind, lighting up a bit of the darkness as it did. “My mother used to tease me for very few things when she was alive. It wasn’t in her nature to poke too much fun, and certainly not at her children, but when it came to my love for the water she couldn’t help herself. She always found it so funny that I took to the ocean the way I did when we were on the run. I’d spent my whole life in forests, but part of my heart seemed to belong to the sea. I couldn’t get enough of it in England.”

“Should I be a little jealous?” Emma asked, her eyes lighting up with a gentle humor as he glanced her way and he shook his head as he pulled her into his embrace, letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding as he did.

“Nothing the world over compares to you, Emma, so jealousy has no place between us.”

Killian only wished he could take that statement further. Just an hour ago he was thinking that there was nothing bad on the horizon at all. Now there was a fear and apprehension with his brother heading their way, and as much as he wanted to keep it from Emma and to protect her from those feelings he couldn’t. They were tied together now forever; their fates were one and so must their path be, no matter what was in store for them. Still he couldn’t help but feel like he had failed her, and so quickly in their union too.

“Oh no you don’t,” Emma said, tipping his face to meet her eyes, the bond between them no doubt telling her all the agony he felt. “You are not going to blame yourself for this, Killian.”

“But it’s my fault, Emma. Can’t you see that? If I hadn’t been so hell bent on ridding the world of my father none of this would have happened.” 

“Just because it was what you wanted, doesn’t mean you bear the blame. Liam was old enough to make his own choices, Killian, and he knew the risks. And that’s not just me trying to make you feel better, it’s the truth.” 

“And how do you know that for sure, love?” Killian asked, wishing her statement were true in spite of himself.

“Because I was with you, through everything you remembered. Ruby and Granny might have been telling me the story, but I could see it all and feel it too. It was beautiful, to see things as you see them, but it was terrible as well, and not just because of what happened to Liam, but because of what happened to you.” 

“To me?”

“The guilt you’ve carried has been eating you up inside, day in and day out. It’s been gnawing at you, much like the sickness must be doing to Liam, and making your life so hard and so lonely. You felt hopeless and totally alone, at least until…”

Emma blushed as she trailed off, but Killian brought his hand to cup her cheek as he filled in the rest of her thought. “Until I found you.” 

“Yes,” Emma whispered, her hand coming to cover his as she took a steadying breath. “And I feel the same in a way, Killian. I might not have suffered all that you have, but I was missing something too. I was wishing for something that would bring me hope and happiness all along without even noticing it, and it’s for that reason that I can’t let you worry anymore, at least not about us. I’m not backing out. I don’t have any regrets. I love you, Killian. I love you and I want you and I choose you.”

“Even with all the unknowns?”

“Even then,” Emma affirmed without a trace of doubt. “I don’t know what we do about your brother, Killian. I have to hope that somehow it’s not as awful as you and Ruby and Granny seem to fear. Maybe there’s hope still. Maybe he found a cure, or maybe he wants to now. People can change if they really want to. I believe that it can be done. But either way, I’m with you. If we have to run, so be it. If we have to fight, then tell me what to do, but at the end of the day I need you, I need us.”

“I’ll never understand how destiny thought I could ever deserve you,” he said pulling her to him so their lips were just an inch apart before he confessed the rest. “But God as my witness I will find a way to do so. I won’t fail you, Emma.”

“I know you won’t,” Emma whispered. “We’ll find our way, Killian, and we’ll make it through this. You’ll see.”

And truth be told, as remarkable as it was, Killian believed her. Despite the odds stacked against them, and despite the pain that was no doubt coming, Killian found he could still envision a future. He felt life could still turn out all right, and for better or worse he and Emma could pull through this. He only wished they’d had more time before hitting this first hurdle, but even so, he couldn’t regret any of this, not when he had such a remarkable woman by his side. 

“I think it’s definitely time we tell my family though. My parents, and Anna and Elsa,” Emma said after a while of staring out at the sea, trying to take in the serenity of the ocean and the love that flowed between them. “Who knows? My Dad might be a great asset in this. With his training he might be a real bad ass.” 

Killian laughed at Emma’s joke, knowing that she was truly worried for her family but that she needed to try and make this all a little lighter. He respected that about her, and he ran his thumb across her knuckles, nodding in agreement.

“I think you might be right, love. And now’s as good a time as any to see if you’re right.”

“Might be good to call Uncle Lance though, just in case. You haven’t met him yet but he’s big. Like _really_ big.”

“Lions usually are, love,” Killian said with a soft chuckle, and Emma looked into his eyes with an earnest and honest sense of sincerity. 

“Just so you know, when all of this is over, I fully expect you to keep telling me everything there is to know about shifters. I’ve still got a million questions, so don’t think you’ve gotten out of that.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Killian said with a smile, and with his promise, Emma whispered that she loved him again and pressed her lips to his, kissing him sweetly and helping him ground himself in the goodness his life still held. For whatever came here after, Killian would always be sure of Emma and the bond that they shared. Nothing and no one could change that, not even the deep dark torments of his past.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it. Chapter twelve came bearing some big reveals, but I think you all had realized them at this point. It was mostly important for Emma and Killian to have to face this moment. That being said, things aren’t slowing down any time soon. There’s so much to do still and so many pieces of the plot still circling in my brain. Liam is obviously coming, but we also have Elsa’s magic and a few other things I’ve planted the seeds for so far. I know some of you are eagerly trying to guess what will happen, and I love hearing what you all think and what you hope is coming. Full disclosure though, I do not have another chapter written of this story yet. My hope is that I can get a couple of chapters done over my very short school break, but I ask that you all be as patient with me as you can. If all goes according to plan, a new chapter will coming around New Year’s but if not, 2019 will hold more answers, more questions, and more CS fluff. Thanks again for reading, and hope you all have a great rest of your weekend!!_ **


	13. Chapter 13

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So after a long time away this chapter comes bringing some interesting new elements to the mix. I know that we have the big Liam confrontation still to come, but there was another important thing that needed to happen before then: Elsa and Anna needed to find out about magic. This chapter is bringing us to that moment, as well as throwing in some other elements as well. A lot of this you guys might have guessed at some of this, but I’m hoping you enjoy the layers and elements I’ve had tucked away in my mind since starting this story. As always thanks so much for reading and I am really looking forward to seeing what you all think!_**  

Life as Emma knew it was totally and completely different than it had been just weeks ago.

Before this summer started, and before she’d found the gift of a mate and learned some big secrets about how the world really worked, she’d lived a normal life. There had been some instances of strangeness, and certainly there had been struggles strewn into her story here in Storybrooke Maine, but on the whole she’d been just a regular girl who met each and every day with a certain set of definitive facts. She didn’t even ever think about them, they were just supposed to be given parts of life, and one of those fundamental truths was that magic wasn’t real. It was a figment of fiction, a childish dream, a beautiful, hopeful imagined force, but it wasn’t supposed to actually exist.

Yet now she knew better. Emma had witnessed first hand some of the varied ways magic manifested itself. She’d seen shifters and encountered Ruby’s visions. This morning she’d even witnessed a bit of spell casting by Killian’s cousin as well, but Emma had been told by Ruby that it was nothing compared to what she’d see in the future. This was ‘mild magic’ but the magic brought about by Emma’s oldest and dearest friend was supposedly far more miraculous. That was amazing to imagine, but at the same time it didn’t make things any less uneasy. She was currently walking up the road to Elsa’s house preparing to tell her she was a witch and that was crazy. There was nothing about that that was normal or expected, and as such Emma was just a tiny bit concerned.

“You’re going to do the talking, right?” Emma asked, checking with Ruby for the fifth time this morning about what was going to happen when they got to Anna and Elsa’s home. 

This reveal had been on Emma’s mind in some capacity since Ruby and Granny showed up in Storybrooke, but now they were on the precipice of the confrontation and Emma was more than a little nervous. This was a huge secret and also a very intimate one. It would explain so much about Elsa and about Anna and their family, and Emma imagined it would be a real awakening for her friend, but at first Elsa might resist. All these years people had been teasing Elsa about her dreams or lovingly pushing the thought that maybe she truly had a gift. Emma and Anna had always known Elsa was special, but now there was more information and more possibility. If Ruby’s assessment of Elsa’s gifts was right, there was a whole new world that was about to open up to Emma’s best friend, and Emma knew that while Elsa would eventually be grateful, she might very well be hesitant at first.

Understandably Elsa was not a great proponent of change. Losing their parents so young had impacted both Elsa and Anna in incalculable ways. For Anna it had made her want to live each moment to a fuller extent. She never let a day pass where she didn’t tell people what they meant to her. She ended every friendly hang out session with an ‘I love you,’ and a huge hug at the very least. Anna was continuously grateful and energized, but she also took risks. She always said that life was all in the way you lived it. She never wanted to be afraid, and so sometimes she took things to extremes.

Elsa was almost a polar opposite, and Emma knew it wasn’t merely because she was a more introverted person. So much of that tendency towards caution had come from being the eldest sister. She’d taken on the role as caregiver and as pseudo-parent, and though Emma’s family and the whole town had come together to help the girls when their parents passed away, Elsa never shied away from her responsibilities. She became Mom and Dad and sister, guide and best friend, teacher and peer. As a result, Elsa would do anything for Anna, but in the rest of her life she was guarded. She never expended too much unnecessary energy and never gave too much away. She sided with safety and certainty, and this big reveal would hardly feel like a sure thing.

“I’m doing the talking,” Ruby promised, her hand coming to Emma’s arm in a sign of comfort. “Well, at least until you get comfortable. And you will, Emma. I promise. It’s gonna be great. I can’t see everything, as you know, but I can sense how things will end and it’s going to be more than okay.” 

“I’d trust my cousin on this, love,” Killian said from Emma’s other side, squeezing her hand in a reassuring sign of connection as he did. “Ruby is never wrong about these things. If she’s confident enough to voice a vision, it will come to pass.”

“Damn right it will,” Ruby said with pride, and Emma was happy for this tiny fleeting moment. 

Killian’s family might have come because of a bad situation on the horizon (and according to Ruby’s estimates they were still some time away from any kind of confrontation) but they’d done their best to live and be themselves since then. Killian’s deciding to stand his ground and confront Liam for better or worse here in Storybrooke seemed to embolden Ruby and Granny. With a plan somewhat established, they eased into things and had even started to show some signs of hope. Ruby’s visions were still unsure in regards to Liam, but her instincts weren’t as harried and afraid as they had been before, and Emma was more than glad for that.

“Sorry. I don’t mean to second-guess your abilities,” Emma said, not wanting Ruby to feel that she didn’t respect all that her new friend was capable of. “It’s just kind of a lot. Today I have to go tell my best friend she’s got magical powers. Then I have to ask her if she’s seen the future lately because there’s danger looming in a town that never really tends to see it. It’s a little…”

“Overwhelming,” Killian said at the same time that Ruby filled in with her own “totally bizarre.”

“Yeah, both of those actually,” Emma agreed, barking out something like a laugh again and leaning into Killian, pulling a little extra strength from him as they walked up the rest of the steps to Elsa and Anna’s house. Before they could knock though, the door flew open and there was Anna looking out of breath, as if she’d been sprinting around the house for some time.

“Aha! I knew Elsa’s hunch would be right. She mentioned that there might be guests today off handedly when she woke up, and then she said we didn’t have to clean because it was just a thought. That obviously wasn’t going to happen. Elsa knows what Elsa knows, right? Only problem is this place is so big it’s hard for just two of us, and I can never figure out how to vacuum the walls right. But it’s fine because you’re here now!” 

Anna said all the words so quickly that Emma wondered if Killian and Ruby would need a translator. It was just like her friend to be going a hundred miles a minute. Her thoughts ran fast, and her tongue ran faster, that was what Elsa and Anna’s Grams had always said and she wasn’t wrong. But where others might have whiplash from the speed of that largely random monologue, Emma was totally comfortable with it. It was indication that things were as they always were here in her friends’ house, and though Emma was about to change that, she took it as a good sign that Anna immediately hugged her close in a welcoming gesture without even saying a traditional hello.

“I’m sorry, the walls?” Killian asked aloud, drawing Anna’s attention to him with the apt question. Emma watched as her friend’s eyes lit up, and she didn’t miss the way that Anna’s gaze flicked back between Emma and Killian a few times before she answered.

“Yeah. It’s like the one thing I’m not a complete disaster at,” Anna said, as if that was any kind of explanation, and Emma shared a look with Killian trying to convey that she would fill him in on Anna’s quirks and skill sets a little later. Meanwhile Ruby chuckled aloud, and Emma thought perhaps her gift made her privy to some of those images of Anna cleaning, which were, admittedly, always a riot.

“You’re never a disaster, Anna,” Elsa proclaimed from inside the house before she appeared at the doorway, looking much less windswept and out of breath than her sister. She also handled the presence of guests so differently, offering a smile and a more socially polite greeting to them all. “We were hoping to see you today, Emma. And you brought company! Hi Killian.”

“Good to see you, Elsa” Killian replied genuinely. Elsa’s smile grew at Killian’s honest enjoyment in seeing her and then her eyes moved to Ruby. Emma waited for a second to see if there would be any immediate recognition. Maybe Elsa had seen Ruby in a dream or something, but there was nothing past a mild friendliness there and Emma knew that for now Ruby was just any other person to her friend.

“Elsa, Anna, this is Killian’s cousin Ruby. She’s, uh, visiting?” Emma said, not meaning to have her inflection change so it sounded like a question, but Ruby went right ahead as if that introduction wasn’t weird and stilted at all. 

“It’s really great to meet you two. I feel like I already know you guys.”

“Oh score, he’s got family! And where there’s family there’s like a million embarrassing stories and deets about how he’s going to treat our girl,” Anna said, again seeming to forget herself. After a moment she had the good sense to look a little bashful. “Oh shoot, did I say that out loud?”

“Yup,” Killian and Ruby responded at once, the latter seeming to have a lot more fun with this than the former, but Emma knew Killian had a soft spot for Anna and for Elsa. She’d watched over the past few weeks as he got to know her friends, and he’d said more than once that since they were Emma’s chosen family so to would they be his.

“What my sister probably meant to say is that it’s nice to meet you too,” Elsa said graciously. “And won’t you come in? I wouldn’t have bored you with the details, but since Anna already shared, we have in fact cleaned the house today.” 

Everyone walked inside and Emma could almost imagine seeing this house for the first time again as Killian was (with Ruby it was doubtful, seeing as her gift had so much range and possibility). For Emma, this estate had always been one of the most gorgeous in Storybrooke. Anna and Elsa’s family had been some of the founding members of this town centuries ago, and they’d been old money from back in Europe well before that. At one time there’d even been a habit by some people of calling them the town royals, at least among their more jealous and less kind hearted neighbors, but that was before the tragic accident that took Anna and Elsa’s parents from them too soon. Still this house was a symbol of tradition and grace. It was old but still fresh and though it had gotten a little colder when they lost their parents, Elsa wouldn’t allow coldness to linger. She certainly could have, and Emma would have never faulted her friend for giving in to sadness, but for Anna, Elsa had always been strong. Part of that strength meant keeping this house alive and vibrant, and she’d managed to do that every day, no matter how hard it had been.

Looking around the ‘sun parlor’ (basically a fancy rich people word for sitting room with a full wall of glass windows), Emma noticed the subtle differences between their childhood version of this home and the one they were in now. Before, this place had been the epitome of prim and proper. It was still lovely, because it had been filled with the love of family, but Elsa’s mother had been meticulous in her desire to keep things as true to the original integrity of the old Victorian home as she could. Elsa, in comparison, had warmed things up. There were live plants strewn about because of Anna’s love of all things natural, and they were all blooming beautifully. There were also so many more pictures of their family and friends on the mantles and side tables. They were snapshots of happy memories, both long ago and also recent, but it never felt morbid or sad. It was a memorial and yet a living breathing tribute to the sisters now as well.

“This is a beautiful home you two have,” Killian said, showing his good manners and making Emma’s heart squeeze tightly. It was a simple compliment, but she knew both of her friends would take it as sincerely as it was meant.

“Thank you,” Elsa replied. “It’s a labor of love, but it’s always felt worth it to us.”

“You got that right,” Anna said sitting down after all of their guests were seated, and then, because she was hardly as patient as her sister, she got right down to the point. “So. What brings Killian’s mysterious cousin to our house? Emma’s got that look about her like she’s got to say something, so I’m betting it’s a doozy.”

Emma’s stomach flipped at Anna’s perceptiveness, though she should have known this would come. She was wondering what would be the best way to proceed. Emma and Ruby definitely needed to be here, as did Anna and Elsa, but though Emma would love the comfort of having Killian by her side in what could be a trying time, she wanted to make sure all parties were comfortable. This was a huge reveal to Elsa and to Anna, and though Emma knew that they loved Killian because she cared so much for him, she didn’t want anything to feel forced. As if he read her mind – whether through the mating link or through his own well-honed Emma radar – Killian squeezed her hand gently and brought it to his lips to press a gentle kiss. Then he announced his intention as their eyes still held.

“I think it might be best if I take a look around the gardens, maybe scope out this sea walk I’ve heard so much about. Would either of you mind?” Killian asked, finally turning to Emma’s friends, but they just smiled and nodded that it was fine, both of them clearly thrilled at his open affection for Emma. “I’ll be right outside should you need me, love.”

“Thank you,” Emma whispered to him before pressing a kiss to his lips and watching him slip out the door to the patio. Killian headed towards the gardens, a place where one could get lost for hours, but she was sure he wouldn’t get turned around. As a shifter, it was one of his many gifts to have that all too keen sense of direction.

“Okay that’s not fair,” Anna exclaimed, her head shaking and the braids she had in this morning following suit. “I mean _seriously_ that man is just crazy about you. I want one!”

Emma laughed at Anna’s outburst and so did Ruby, and the slight tension that had arisen felt like it dwindled considerably. Still Emma could see that her friend, though honest, was also doing this on purpose. It might be Elsa who was a once in a generation witch, but now that Emma knew of magic and of the magic that ran in this family, she was absolutely certain Anna had gifts of her own. Perhaps they were more hidden or subdued, but they were definitely there. Elsa had always been the one with dreams that were uncannily accurate, but Anna had a way of knowing people and situations just like this one. 

“Not to worry, Anna. You’ll definitely find someone,” Ruby said and though it could have been construed as a harmless comment, Anna’s eyebrows rose and her smile widened. 

“Oh my gosh, you see stuff too don’t you?!” Anna exclaimed, practically squealing. “I know you do! That’s the same face Elsa makes when she has a dream. Now you _have_ to tell us what the hell is going on!”

“You good with that, Emma?” Ruby asked and Emma nodded, moving to sit with Elsa and Anna on the couch as Ruby told them all that she knew. 

Though Emma had heard most of this already, it was another experience entirely to have this conversation with Elsa and Anna present. Ruby was giving a basic 101 run down of magic and the supernatural world. Since humanity itself was formed, so to had magic been living and breathing on this earth. Many people in the know considered magic to be another of the elements that people were more familiar with. It was an essence and an energy that always came from nature somehow, but it manifested in many ways. Sometimes it took the form of witches or clairvoyants, and other times it could be seen in other supernatural beings. Ruby hadn’t mentioned shifters specifically yet, focusing instead on what was truly pertinent to Elsa and Anna, but Emma felt completely compelled by what they discovered too. It was still so new and so amazing that conceiving all of this could be real was a challenge.

The element of magic, it turned out, was all around to those who know how to wield it. For witches and warlocks and other spell-casting peoples, magic was a gift mostly held by families that originated from different hubs of magical influence. Long ago there were places on earth where magic was far more present than others. Ruby listed a few off the cuff: portions of the Amazon, oases in the Sahara, islands off of current day Malaysia and more. As such, the people who came from those areas were exposed to a very rich natural spirit for millennia. That spirit was then internalized by more sensitive families, and then, even if they left, the gift of magical ability was transferred with them.

“My family was from Ireland originally,” Ruby explained, drawing a pendant that she had that didn’t look so dissimilar from the one of Killian’s that Emma had found. As she did so, a breeze swept through the room but it was contained, gentle, warm, and well… wonderful. It smelled sweet, like the fresh bloom of wild flowers, and as Emma looked at the light swirling in the room, she could see these sort of spiritual etchings dancing in the wind of feathers, leaves, and, as one might expect with the scent, petals. “It was just a tiny Celtic town to the south of the Isle, but according to the diaries that all of the women in my family kept, there was a spring there where magic flowed freely. It was their job to protect the spring, but eventually it dried up and so they moved here.”

“This is… it’s impossible. But it’s real,” Elsa said, her fingertips trying to trace some of Ruby’s magic as it flittered through the air. As she toyed with the magic in the air, her whole being was overcome with an undeniable excitement. There wasn’t any trace of the fear she expected. If anything Elsa looked totally free to believe in something amazing and all consuming. “Magic has been real along. Just like Grams always said. I thought she was teasing, or maybe giving us something beautiful to dream of. I never thought… but it’s always been here. I can feel it now.” 

“It has,” Ruby replied, her own joy at seeing Elsa experience this growing more and more by the second.

“You said the spring dried up?” Anna asked, continuing the trend that had emerged of her being the one to ask questions that all of them were thinking. “Did something happen?”

“No, it was just nature taking its course,” Ruby said, pulling back her magical display so the room was as it had been. “It was a couple hundred years ago, and then they came here, or rather, to America, hoping to find a new place to call home. The witches in my family bounced around a little bit before moving further out west. Magic loves forests and the untouched spaces of nature, and as the world has changed, so too have the places that magic likes best.” 

“Can wi- wi…” Elsa faltered over the words, still clearly grappling with the new information she was hearing about herself. “Can people who access magic turn into animals by any chance? Like maybe wolves?” 

“Let me guess, lots of wolf dreams have been happening since Killian came?” Ruby asked, feeling like she already knew the answer. 

“Yes,” Elsa hedged. “But they’ve been around a long time. Since that day in Boston…” Elsa looked to Emma and now, finally, Emma felt like she could jump in for a bit.

“The wolves from that night are more than I ever thought they were. They are not animals, but magical people who can transform their shape. They’re called shifters,” Emma explained. “Not all shifters are wolves, but that night when I was attacked it was a rogue wolf who came after me and another rogue wolf who saved me.” 

“You were attacked?!” Anna exclaimed, somehow more worried about that than the fact that Emma was telling her that people could turn into giant animals or that witchcraft was real. “And you knew, Elsa?”

“I’m sorry, Anna, I should have told you but…”

“But I made her promise not to,” Emma said, explaining the story as quickly as she could and filling in on how Elsa had been there. She’d had a dream that brought her to the city, but for a long long time they’d all just considered it this mental break. It couldn’t have been real, but now they knew it truly was. “But what I didn’t realize then is that the shifter was Killian.” 

“Holy shit, your Killian?!” Anna asked, completely losing herself in the reveal before looking to Ruby. “Killian’s a wolf? That’s so awesome! So are you a wolf too then? I thought you were a witch.”

“Guilty on both counts,” Ruby said with a grin. “It’s very rare, but witches and shifters can be mates and when they are you end up with hybrids like me.”

“Oh my God mates! That sounds so… hot!” Anna said, play fanning herself as she heard. Emma couldn’t help but let out a laugh at her friend’s antics, but she continued to search Anna’s demeanor to see if she was really okay with all she was finding out or if there was more to this. Anna seemed so completely on board, and Emma wondered how that could be.

“But you said the wolf that saved you, sorry, Killian, you said he was all black right? Like midnight. And the attacker was more tan?” 

“Yeah. Like a dull colored sand, why?” 

“The one I’ve been dreaming of is lighter than just a pure black,” Elsa said, her confusion clearly gnawing at her.

“Let me guess, dark gray coat, that gets darker at the paws.”

“Yes,” Elsa said, her desire to know who it was winning out. “You know him?”

“It’s Liam,” Ruby confessed, and then, realizing that neither Elsa nor Anna recognized the name, she filled them in. “Killian’s brother.”

“Oh my God, so Elsa is dreaming about Killian’s brother?” Anna asked, looking almost giddy. “Wait that’s a good thing right?” 

“It’s complicated,” Ruby said, deflating Anna somewhat, though Elsa seemed to already know that was the case. “And honestly, that part of all of this can wait a while longer. I think you guys will face enough today just hearing your story.” 

“So you know about us then,” Elsa asked without the inflection of a real question. “You’re going to tell us about our family?”

“There’s no need for that. They can tell you themselves.” 

Silence greeted Ruby’s statement, and it was one of the first times that Emma had ever seen Anna stunned into quiet like this. The pain in her friend’s eyes was mingled with a soul crushing hope, and Emma could understand it. Ruby hadn’t given her too many details, but from what she had said every old family of magic had a repository somewhere with stories and spells and all other kinds of things. It was passed down from generation to generation, and Emma assumed it would be like in the movies where there was a giant book written kind of like a diary.

“How?” Elsa asked, her voice coming out stronger than Emma would have ever imagined as she took Anna’s hand and squeezed it tight and then used her other hand to hold onto Emma.

“There’s a room in this house that no one knows about. There’s a hidden door. That’s where the answers are.”

“A hidden door?” Elsa asked, confused. “We don’t have anything like that. If we did we’d have found it by now.”

“One of you has,” Ruby said, looking to Anna with a soft smile. “You just haven’t remembered in a long time.”

At the words a spark of recollection appeared in Anna’s expression, and Emma knew her friend was working through the recesses of her mind trying to figure out exactly when that happened and where she’d found it. After a moment her eyes lit up and she jumped from the couch. 

“It’s out back in the green house. But there was nothing there. Just a bunch of old herbs and dried up plants…” 

“There’s a hatch door to a lower level somewhere. It won’t take long for you to find it. I can’t see what’s down there – there are blood protection spells meaning only your family can access that space, but there should be a box there. It’s blue and has your family crest. Inside there are jewels, crystals, and precious stones. They’ll tell the story if you two unlock them.”

“I’m sorry, so the stones are going to… talk to us?” Elsa asked. 

“You’ll see,” Ruby said, offering a smile as Anna jumped up. 

“We have to go,” Anna said, reaching back for Elsa’s hand. “We have to go right now.”

“All right, all right,” Elsa said, still not looking like she fully believed it. “Emma?” 

“I think it would be best if you two did this yourselves,” Emma said, trying to hold back tears as she came to stand up with her friends.

“But you’re our sister, too” Anna said, immediately agreeing with Elsa and Emma swallowed back a lump in her throat.

“Always have been and always will be. But this… it’s your legacy and it’s a part of you guys that I think deserves the utmost care. Plus we don’t know how this blood spell thing works yet. I might not be able to go in at all. But I’ll be right here if you need me. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” Anna and Elsa asked at the same time, and Emma nodded, extending her pinky to them both and twisting tightly when they extended theirs.

“Promise.” 

With that, Elsa and Anna headed out to the green house, leaving Ruby and Emma alone for pretty much the first time since Granny and Ruby arrived. It should have been a strange or awkward time, but Emma found it comfortable despite the circumstances. She and Ruby discussed a number of things about magic and about what her friends would find. They were going to be blessed today, not just with their story, but with their story told by their mother and their grandmother. Ruby might not be able to see the story, but she could feel those spirits being close. Ruby explained that it was possible to infuse sound and images into precious gems, and she had a few from her family that had always meant a lot to her. But at one point, after a bit of time discussing this new life changing moment for her friends, Killian caught Emma’s attention. He was outside and in wolf form along the tree line, looking back at the house, or more precisely at her.

“I’ve never seen Killian like this before, so happy and centered,” Ruby mused aloud, her eyes looking towards Killian as she smiled with pride and real joy. “Even when we were kids and his Mom was still here, he was always quiet and always just a little more reserved than me or the other pack pups.”

“I can’t imagine what it must have been like, growing up the way he and Liam did. The way _you_ did, in that pack run by their father. Was it hard when they left?” 

“Almost as hard as losing Liam,” Ruby confessed, her expression turning somber and remorseful. Emma wondered if Killian could hear them, but at this distance she thought it was probably doubtful. “But we have the future. I’m afraid to say anything for certain, but it doesn’t feel as menacing right now as it did before. I was panicked when I could sense Liam again, but I still see things. Good things. Things happening years down the way. I have to believe they’ll really happen. _You’re_ going to make them happen.”

“Me?” Emma asked, shocked that she would have any sort of role. “But I’m just a human.” 

“Maybe,” Ruby said, not sounding fully convinced, “But even if you’re human, Emma, you’re special. You bring out the best in Killian. You mean the world to Anna and Elsa. You have a light in you. It’s not magic per se, at least I don’t think, but it’s something, and I know it’s important. It might just be the most important thing any of us has to offer.”

Emma thanked Ruby quietly, flattered at the compliment, but unable to respond in any meaningful way because at that precise moment her phone began to ring. She’d been so unplugged for days that Emma was surprised she’d even brought it with her, but the tell tale sign of her mother’s ring tone told Emma that patience had finally run thin for Mary Margaret Nolan. Strangely that was of huge comfort to Emma, and before she so much as greeted her mother, she had a pretty good idea of where this conversation was going to go.

“Hi Mom,” Emma said, thinking about what the proper tactic was for this exchange.

In a regular situation she would apologize for being off the grid. It had been days since she spoke with anyone in her family, and that was not normal for them. But she wasn’t actually sorry for all that had happened the past few days, and Emma also knew that though her mother always meant well, she had a real knack for taking harmless statements and making them a little more innuendo packed than was strictly comfortable.

_“Oh Emma, honey, you know I love you, and God knows I love Anna and Elsa nearly as much, but would it be too much for you to call your parents when finally surfacing after days and days away? We miss you.”_

“I miss you too, Mom. And sorry about the delay. Things are kind of happening over here. It’s, uh, unexpected.”

_“Well surprise guests will do that to you.”_

“How did you know about that?” Emma asked, slightly afraid that her mother was going to rehash some truly crazy series of informants, but what she actually heard surprised her even more.

_“Easy, I’m having lunch with Granny right now.”_  
  


“You’re what?!” Emma asked at the same time Ruby said, “She’s what?!” Well, look at that, even a surprise for the all-seeing Ruby. For a second Emma wondered how she’d heard what her mother said on the phone, and then she remembered Ruby had shifter hearing. She was going to have to get used to that.

_“I know! It’s the wildest thing. We just happened to meet at the diner – she was questioning the integrity of the lasagna after ordering it, a good indicator of a person’s character as you know - and we got to talking.”_ Emma smiled at one of her mother’s strange marks of a person, but it wasn’t the first time she’d heard this bit about the lasagna. _“I can’t imagine how you must be feeling, Emma. First you find out your true love is a shifter and then you find out your best friends have a magical bloodline -,”_  

“Mom!” Emma yelled into the phone interrupting her. “You can’t go around saying things like that. Someone could hear you.”

_“Emma, I’m at home,”_ her mother said in a slightly chastising voice, surprising Emma yet again. _“Do you really think I’d be so careless? Besides, I can keep a secret you know.”_

If someone had said that to Emma even a month ago she would laugh in their face. Mary Margaret Nolan keeping a secret? Yeah right. It was not her style, but that assumption had been proved wrong. She’d kept mum about shifters for years, and in doing so she’d proven that it was possible for her to not give away a private confidence. “I thought you said you were having lunch at the diner.”

_“No, I said we_ met _at the diner. I ended up convincing her to come here. Because again, that lasagna is questionable at best. She’s a funny one though, won’t let me call her anything but Granny. But I like her.”_  

“You realize she’s a shifter too, right? She can hear you.”

_“She could hear me if she were human; she’s sitting right in front of me.”_

Emma heard Granny say hello in the background and at the same time Ruby came closer and said hello herself. This could have started a whole big conversation, since her mother was clearly curious about Killian’s cousin, but Emma redirected to get some better answers.

“So did you know about Anna and Elsa all this time too?” Emma asked, hating to think this might have been yet another secret between she and her parents. Before they died, Elsa and Anna’s mother and father were good friends of Emma’s parents. But it would be a little strange that they would tell them and not their children about their family legacy.

_“Oh no, honey, Granny told me. Gigi never confided in me about any of that, not that I’d ever blame her after the incident where I accidentally told you girls her real name,”_

Emma felt a giggle bubble up at that memory. Yes she remembered that day. It wasn’t every day you heard the name Gerda, and Anna and Elsa had gone bonkers over the big reveal. They’d been fixated on it for weeks, months even.

_“I’m sure Gigi had all sorts of plans for how she wanted Anna and Elsa to hear all of this,”_ Mary Margaret said, her voice sounding out with more than a touch of sadness for her old friend. _“But things happen that we can’t control. And I’m just glad that the girls are getting the chance to learn who they really are now. Granny just brought me up to speed. And it’s so amazing! I knew about shifters – your father told me that you know everything now so you know how that went – but magic… well it’s just so exciting, don’t you think?”_

“Yeah,” Emma said, letting out a steady breath. “Exciting would be a good word to describe the last few days.”

_“Exactly, and with so much going on and so much left to talk about, I think it’s only right that everyone come to the house for dinner. I have to meet Ruby, and I want to check in on Elsa and Anna, but most of all I want to make sure my new son-in-law knows what’s what.”_

“Mom,” Emma said with a blush growing over her cheeks before lowering her voice as quietly as she could while still being heard on the other end of the call. “We’re not married." 

_“Ha! Maybe not yet, but don’t think a wedding is not already in the works. This mating thing sounds lovely. Your Aunt Gwen told me a bit about it a few years back. It’s like this great big love that means more than any simple ceremony can ever express, but every princess deserves a wedding and you’re darn well going to have one.”_

Emma didn’t even have time to groan before Killian approached, stepping into view at the patio door with an intense look in his blue eyes. “I couldn’t agree more.” 

Well this was fun. Apparently he could hear her phone calls and from quite a bit of distance away. Emma was doing all she could to not die of embarrassment, but the only thing getting her through was the look on Killian’s face that said he truly did love her and was planning for forever together. It wasn’t like her mother had picked this idea out of nowhere. Clearly Killian felt the same about them getting married, even if they hadn’t gotten there yet. 

“Okay well can we table that talk for now, please? There’s more than enough to keep us busy in the meantime,” Emma begged, not wanting to state the obvious aloud – there should be no wedding being planned since Killian hadn’t exactly asked her to get married.

_“Absolutely, but we will see you all at seven. Pass on the invite to Anna and Elsa.”_

“Tonight?” Emma asked, wondering if it was a good idea. “I don’t know, Mom. They just found everything out, they might need some time -,”

“We don’t need time,” Anna said, drawing everyone’s attention to the doorway where she and Elsa were standing. The sisters were holding hands again, and it was clear there had been some tears shed as they went through their family’s things, but both of them still looked happy. Emma imagined there must be so much relief even though there was the sadness of looking to the past, and with a silent nod between her and Elsa, her friend conveyed that to her as Anna continued. “What we need is some really good chicken parm. I’m talking pasta for days, the good imported cheese your Mom gets in Boston, and that home made sauce even magic couldn’t replicate.”

Everyone laughed at that, and since Emma had automatically put the call on speakerphone when Anna and Elsa came out, her mother took the initiative and replied herself. She had all of those ingredients, and she would see to it that Anna and Elsa’s favorite meal was made and ready. With that, Emma hung up on the call, and she looked first to Killian, finding his eyes shining with so much love. She held onto that, and then looked quickly to Elsa, needing to know that her friend was all right.

“Are you sure this is okay? It’s a lot to reconcile and it’s all happening very fast.”

“Fast is the way things move these days,” Elsa said with a smile that was small but also true. She looked at Emma and at Killian, nodding whether she consciously knew it or not. “And so far that seems to be a good thing. We’re not different people because of what we know now. I’m no different than I was before." 

“No, you’re not,” Emma said gladly, watching Elsa exhale a ragged breath as Ruby chimed in.

“You’ve just got some cool new abilities,” Ruby said cheerily. “And now that you guys unlocked your family secrets I can see so much more, for you and for Anna.” 

“You too?” Emma asked, finding herself filled with excitement for her friend. For once Anna looked a little sheepish, something Emma had never noticed her friend experiencing before, but she acknowledged the unexpected surprise.

“Yup. Visions might not be my thing, but according to Grams messages and some of Mom’s too there’s a lot in store for me as well. But for now let’s put all of that on ice. I wasn’t kidding when I said I needed that chicken parm, because honey, it has been a day.”

Everyone could readily agree with that assessment, and in the interest of honoring her friends’ wishes, Emma held back on questions about what came next and what they had learned. Soon enough her friends would tell her. It was always just a matter of time before they shared everything with each other, and whenever that came Emma would be more than willing to listen and learn.

“How are you doing, love?” Killian asked a few moments later, when they’d all decided to head outside together to the beach walk. Elsa and Anna were talking with Ruby about summers in Storybrooke, and Emma watched at how a solid friendship was forming between them already, her heart filled with happiness as her family and Killian’s blended together.

“I’m good,” Emma said, looking to Killian and seeing his concern and affection, shining as brightly as the sun in the sky this lovely summer day. “Better with you here.”

“I feel I could say that in any moment,” Killian agreed, stopping their stroll and pulling her into his embrace. “Any instance is improved with you beside me.”

“Guess we better stick together then,” Emma teased and she delighted in the growl from Killian as his mouth claimed hers in a fierce and hungry kiss. It was impossible not to get swept away in it, her hands roaming, her body arching for closeness as she tasted him and reveled in the heat and charge between them. But before they could take things way too far given their setting, Killian pulled back and pressed his forehead to hers gently.

“Forever, Emma. That’s how long we’ll have each other.” 

“Forever,” she agreed.

With that, the two of them rejoined her friends and Ruby, finding themselves enjoying a weirdly normal afternoon in the midst of so much change and transformation. And though Emma was a bit preoccupied with the idea of dinner at her parents tonight, she knew, deep down, that whatever may come she would always have Killian, and the two of them together would always make it through. 

**_Post-Note: So there we have it. Truth be told I have so many thoughts and ideas about Elsa and Anna’s magical reveal. I would love to write a whole scene from their POV about that, adding the layers of magic I have imagined for this story and giving their experience with the big change in their lives. Unfortunately I don’t really have time to create that chapter, at least not yet. I am debating, however, adding some extra scenes and glimpses into this story when I have the whole thing done. That being said, I have only managed to get a couple of chapters written before my school year, so it’s looking like it’s definitely going to be summer before this whole story is told. As of right now I am looking to move to a monthly posting schedule. I have this chapter, one for February and one for March all written, and I am hoping I might find a bit of time in the next three months to craft together a chapter for April, God willing. Anyway, I would love to hear what you all think, and rest assured there will be some more CS moments in the chapter next time. There’s still a lot of stuff that has to happen, so we aren’t getting full blown fluff for a while, but I trust you guys will still like the story all the same. Thanks so much for reading and hope you have a great rest of your weekend!!_ **


	14. Chapter 14

**_A/N: Hey everyone! Oh my God it has literally felt like forever since I posted, and I took such a long break away from the story that I kind of forget where the heck we were. If you’re like me, read the last few chapters and you’ll remember in no time. If, however, you’re like some of my other readers who have been rereading because you are desperate for an update, well honey, we finally have one! In this chapter we are coming to the promised dinner from last chapter. I have been waiting a long time to include more tangible Snowing and CS scenes, because I love a story where Emma has her parents and then her parents get to meet and mess with Killian. Throw in the fact that we have Elsa and Anna, as well as Ruby and Granny and it’s truly a grand old time, at least in my book. This chapter is packing a lot of fluff, because I think we all need it quite honestly, but there’s a bit of a twist coming again. I know, I know this story is getting to be so twisty, but I think you guys will like where things are going and I can’t wait to see your responses! Anyway thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!_ **

Fear was a funny thing. 

For Emma there were a number of things in her life right now that justifiably sparked fear in her heart. The first and most obvious was the physical threat on the horizon. Killian’s brother was en route to Storybrooke and they didn’t know what he wanted. It was hard to imagine Liam was coming with good intentions, and as such, they all had the space to be afraid. Then there were other more mundane things that could cause her all kinds of anxiety, since Emma was, in fact, a worrier. These included things like whether Anna and Elsa would be okay with everything they’d learned today, or whether she and Killian would find their way to a more ‘normal’ life. She wanted that, but it just didn’t seem like that calm and serenity was coming any time soon and that was taxing to say the least. But somehow tonight Emma didn’t have the capacity to fixate on Liam’s potential wrath, or the future that fate was bringing her way. Instead, all she could focus on was the immediately impending chaos that would descend when her parents, her best friends, Killian, and his family were all under one roof.

“Maybe we should come up with a panic phrase,” Emma declared suddenly as they were on their way to the Nolan residence for dinner with Elsa, Anna, and Ruby in tow. “You know, in case we have to get out quick.”

“I’m sorry love, I’m unfamiliar with that term,” Killian responded, a touch of humor lacing his voice.

“You know, a panic phrase,” Emma said, giving a slight shrug of her shoulders as she explained herself. “It’s like the stranger danger term your parents give you as a kid so you know if you can trust a random adult or not. Ours was ‘operation mongoose’ but don’t ask me why because I have no idea where it came from.”

Looking at Killian, Emma could tell she wasn’t making sense. Her anxiety about this evening was causing her to blabber on about things with less coherency than she would like, but Killian remained patient and did his best to piece together her thoughts. “Uh, well in that case no, can’t say I’ve ever had one of these panic phrases before.”

“Well it’s simple really. It’s basically a safe word, so in this case if my parents get too crazy and we need to leave we have something to say as a signal that we got to get going.”

“Emma, I realize this is a big step, and I know your parents are… involved so to speak,” Killian said, totally underselling her parents’ investment in her life and her business. “But I assure you there won’t be any cause to leave. I might not know your parents well, but I do know they mean no harm.”

“ _Mean_ no harm and _do_ no harm are different things,” Emma muttered, and she could hear her resigned tone of defeat as she said the words aloud. Without even looking at Killian she knew he was on the verge of laughter, but instead of her mate’s sound of amusement filling the air, it was Anna who broke into giggles.

“Oh come on, Emma! It’s going to be fine. You two are already mated right? So what’s the worst that happens? Your Mom pulls out those terrible photos of us from middle school and your Dad threatens that he’ll kill Killian if he ever hurts you.”

“Do either of those possibilities sound fun to you?” Emma asked and Anna immediately grinned so Emma amended her statement. “If you were me, would you enjoy a night like that?”

“Probably not,” Anna agreed, “And my Mom definitely didn’t have the balls your Mom does or the blunt way of asking things, but come on, Emma. We all know Killian’s never going to hurt you so it’s a non-issue. Besides Ruby and Granny have the dirt on Killian so it’ll all be even in the end.”

“What have you told them, Red?” Killian asked his cousin and Ruby smiled like the cat that caught the canary. This made Emma lighten somewhat, because whatever Ruby had it had to be good. 

“Oh nothing much,” Ruby claimed coyly. “I’m still saving the best stories. Don’t want to run out of those too early.”

Killian groaned at his cousin’s words and because it was such a relatable outburst, Emma immediately took delight in it. She found herself laughing in spite of herself. Thank God she wasn’t in this alone. Knowing Killian had family who gave him grief too (even if it all came from a place of love) was a relief. No one would ever match her parents’ level, but at least she wasn’t in this alone. And by the way that Killian was watching her relax into her laughter Emma knew that Killian didn’t care about her finding out any of his embarrassing stories. His blue eyes told her everything in that moment, and the most important thing was that all he wanted was for her to be happy. With him she always found a way to be so, and it was only a love like this that could ever induce her into subjecting herself to this familial torture.

“Is it bad that I actually feel better knowing you’ve got stories too?” Emma asked and Killian shook his head as he pulled her in closer to his side. The feel of his body pressed against hers was hot but familiar. It made Emma feel safe even as she felt electrified, and the anxiety of before began to dissipate as contentedness took its place. 

“No, it’s not. Anything that makes you feel better is something I cherish, love.”

“God, I know it’s a miracle you guys found love and everything but sometimes its just so…” Ruby trailed off, but Elsa and Anna were quick to fill in.

“Sweet?” Elsa asked.

“Adorable?” Anna replied.

“I was going to say ‘extra’ actually. I mean come on. Who says stuff like that?”

Emma bit back more laughter as Elsa and Anna went beat for beat with Ruby about what love should be like and whether Killian’s words were romantic or over the top. But whatever assessment they came up with in the end, Emma wouldn’t really care. The only thing that mattered was how she felt about Killian, and every time he made confessions like that it soothed her. Killian enriched her life and made her braver than she’d ever been. She was confident and comfortable in the love they were building together, and she loved his sweet words, even the cheesy ones. 

“I dream of a day when they all find another amusement to preoccupy themselves,” Killian murmured to her, drawing Emma’s eyes back up to him. He had light in his eyes and she could tell he wasn’t taking their talk seriously either. “It might help if Elsa or Anna found someone to love too.”

“Oh God don’t let my mother hear you say that. You’ll be recruited for her matchmaking in a hot second.” 

“I can think of worse things to do than showing other people the way to love,” Killian said and Emma agreed with him.

“And what about Ruby? You don’t think she wants love?”

“She does,” Killian replied. “But my cousin is particular. It’s going to take quite the person to stack up to her expectations.” 

“I heard that!” Ruby said, though a human wouldn’t have been able to and both Emma and Killian laughed.

“It’s not a bad thing,” Killian emphasized. “If you’re going to love someone you better make sure they’re perfect for you.” 

“Aww, he thinks Emma’s perfect for him,” Anna said and finally Emma rolled her eyes.

“Okay enough. I mean seriously, we’re about to be with my parents for at least three hours. Can’t you give us any peace?”

Anna and Ruby agreed that they would and Emma shared a knowing look with Elsa. Her best friend never gave Emma any real problems about things like this. It wasn’t her way and Emma appreciated that, and she knew she could trust Elsa to keep the others in line. Still the teasing had done wonders to distract Emma from her worries about this evening, and unfortunately, as quiet descended on the group, they cropped up again.

“I know you have a lot of feelings about tonight, Emma, but I can hardly wait to finally see where you grew up.”

“Well the wait is almost over,” Emma said with a smile. Her house might not be nearly as palatial as Anna and Elsa’s but she did love it so. She’d had such a perfect childhood for so long, and it wasn’t until Neal had gotten sick that things took a turn. Even since then things had gotten better, and that house had always been a part of the good times in her life. “Think you can handle it?”

“I hardly think it’s the house that’s hell bent on bringing trouble, love,” Killian joked and Emma swallowed harshly despite knowing that he was only kidding. “Nothing to fear on that score though, Emma. There’s no force in this world that could keep me from loving you.”

“How do you always say the right thing?” Emma asked, as they stepped to the front door and Killian grinned back at her in a way that sent a bold shiver of delight through her whole being.

“It’s a gift.”

“Okay love birds, you’ve got about five more seconds before we have incoming,” Ruby stated, clearly having heard everything as they approached Emma’s parent’s door. “Three, two, one.” 

At the exact mark the door swung open, but Emma was surprised to see it was her Dad and not her Mom standing there. “Thank goodness you’re early. Your Mom might have said seven but she...”

“Never means it, I know,” Emma said, filling in for her Dad as she gave him a hug. “I was surprised she wasn’t pacing by the windows yet.”

“Granny’s been a good distraction. She keeps talking about you and Killian and how shifter happily ever afters work.” The comment was benign, but then Emma watched her father’s face pale as he looked to Elsa and Anna. “Uh, I mean, well -,”

“Don’t worry Mr. N, we know the deal,” Anna filled in merrily. “People turn into animals and then they fall in love with your best friends. We’ve got it.”

“Or sometimes your best friend _is_ the shifter,” Elsa offered nonchalantly, and Emma smiled, knowing that she hadn’t mentioned that to Elsa so her friend must have picked that up through her own magical intuition. “Like Uncle Lance.”

“Yup. Can’t wait to tell him you girls all know now. It’s gonna make the summer barbeque pretty interesting,” her father said as he led them all inside, shutting the door behind them. 

“Oh Lance already knows,” Emma’s mother announced cheerily as she walked in with a beatific smile. “I told Gwen a little while ago. I forgot one of the ingredients in her chocolate soufflé recipe and I filled her right in. God I love walkie talkies.” 

Elsa and Anna laughed as Ruby and Killian looked at Emma with confusion. Again, Emma was amused at how even Ruby seemed to be stumped. Apparently witchy visions didn’t involve her Mom’s somewhat childish antics. 

“Mom and Aunt Gwen talk all the time. They joke that they’re sisters separated at birth and as such they have all sorts of time to make up for. But it was a lot of calls. Like so many calls a day that Dad and Uncle Lance used to tease them that walkie talkies would be more efficient. Then for Christmas last year Neal and I had an idea – or really Neal did. I just funded it. He found these walkie talkies online that create their own frequency and that can cover super large distances. I think they’re for the military? Anyway, we got them for Mom and Aunt Gwen as a joke, but now they use them all the time. The gift backfired.”

“I’d use it right now if she and Lance weren’t having their date night,” Emma’s mother said, waving the walkie talkie that was clipped to her apron. “But there’s always next time. Anyway, thank you all for coming. You must be Ruby. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Knowing Granny it’s all bad,” Ruby said with a sly grin. 

“And all true,” Killian quipped, leading Ruby to playfully punch his arm.

“No she had only good things to say, about you and about Killian.”

“Where is she exactly?” Emma asked, knowing Granny was supposed to be here. 

“She’s on soufflé watch,” Mary Margaret announced, and this prompted a skeptical look between Killian and Ruby. “What? What’s so funny?”

“You said they were chocolate right?” Ruby said, biting back her laughter.

“Let’s just say Granny has very few weaknesses, but the main one is chocolate. I hope you’ve made extra since she’s very likely tricked you into trusting her with those treats.”

“I heard that!” Granny said, coming from the kitchen with her hands on her hips and an unamused look on her face. Her eyes were lit up with humor however, and then she admitted the truth. “And I’ll have you know I only had one, and I ran it by Mary Margaret first.”

“Wow, seems Storybrooke has had a positive influence on all of us,” Killian said easily and Emma felt herself warm at the way he spoke about her home.

“It has a way of doing that,” Emma’s mother said as her father came around to kiss her temple. “Now come on, dinner’s ready and I have just about a million questions.”

Taking a seat at the dining room table that Emma had spent nearly every important holiday gathered around, it was nice to see how natural all of this was. Everyone found their spots organically, and when Killian pulled out her chair like a gentleman, helping her into her seat, Emma was touched. She knew the gesture didn’t go unnoticed, but Emma avoided looking at any one else. Instead she looked to Killian, taking an extra boost of comfort from his subtle nod and upturned smile. 

“So…” her father finally said, drawing Emma and Killian’s attention back to the table. Her Dad only looked at them a moment before deferring to his wife. “Do you want to do the honors?”

“Don’t mind if I do,” her mom said happily. As Mary Margaret rose back up from her seat, Emma watched Ruby whisper to Anna. 

“What’s happening?”

“It’s like grace. Before every meal they say what they’re thankful for. Neal started it.” 

“He did indeed,” Emma’s mother said, and Emma watched as her mom’s eyes grew a bit misty. It certainly wasn’t getting any easier for her having Neal away at summer camp, and she could tell her mom missed her brother fiercely. “But we continue it even when he’s not here, and tonight we have so much to be thankful for.

“We have new friends and new family,” her mother said looking to Granny and to Ruby. “It has been a pleasure meeting you both and to welcome you into our home. I know there’s so much more to learn and to hear and Emma will tell you I never met a story I didn’t love.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Emma joked and everyone chuckled together. 

“But more than that, I can sense you two will be good for us. You’ve already brought so many good things, which leads us to our next grateful thing. We are grateful for Anna and Elsa and their new journey. It’s been a tough few years, but you girls,” Emma heard her Mom’s voice break, a sign of how much she loved her friends as if they were her own children. “You both have blossomed into such wonderful women. Your family would be proud. We are proud, and wherever this new magic may take you, we know it’ll be exactly where you need to be.” 

“Yeah it will,” Anna said, reaching her hand across the table to take Elsa’s in a sisterly sign of affection.

“We’re thankful that our children have their health. We’re thankful that Neal is so happy, that he’s making friends and expanding his mind. He’s being challenged and engaged and he’s finding out more and more about himself. His old scars have all but healed; his light continues to shine so bright. There’s nothing in the world he can’t accomplish.

“At the same time our Emma has found her happy too. It’s a new kind of happy. Beyond having purpose, it’s the happiness only available through love and hope and belief in something more. With Killian she has found her match, a match we very much approve of, not that you needed our approval. But rest assured, this doesn’t mean we can’t still have a little fun. Your father and I haven’t honed these interrogative skills for nothing.”

Emma didn’t know whether to groan aloud or duck her head in embarrassment, but when Killian’s hand squeezed hers tightly she looked at him instead and she saw his subtle smile from before had grown into a full blown grin.

“Whatever you guys have got, I can take it. Anything for Emma.”

“You sure about that?” Her Dad asked and Killian looked to him and nodded.

“Yes sir, I’m sure.”

A moment of comfortable silence elapsed where her Dad gave Killian his own silent show of approval and then Emma realized that her Mom was supposed to be talking. But when she looked over to the other end of the table her mother’s tears had fallen.

“I’m sorry, I know I know. It’s just…” 

“It’s just that life right now is good, and we have a lot to be thankful for.”

The words from her Dad were agreed to by everyone at the table and with their pseudo-prayer said, dinner was served. It was just as excellent as Emma expected. Her mother was actually a great cook, and the company was awesome in the end. It took a little getting used to that their dinner conversation would include things like shifters and spells and such, but Emma was delighted to find that her mother wasn’t as prodding and extensive as she expected. In fact, she only saved those extra exploratory questions for Emma and Killian, and Killian, luckily, managed to take on every one. By the end of the meal he seemed to have won her parents over even more, and Emma was so happy and carefree she had actually forgotten what brought them all together in the first place. Only after dessert was cleared away did Emma realize she needed to talk to her parents about Liam and the potential danger ahead, but her father beat her to the punch.

“We know already, Emma,” her Dad said quietly as she helped him clear the table. The two of them were back in the kitchen, away from the others who were conversing over coffee. “Granny told us about Liam, and then Killian called me while you were with Anna and Elsa.”

“He did?” Emma asked, completely surprised by the revelation and her Dad nodded. 

“He did. He said he was sorry to not come speak to me directly but he didn’t want to let you out of his sight. I agreed that that was for the best. In the mean time, I can’t think of anyone that’s better to protect you than Killian.”

“Really?” Emma asked, feeling a wave of surprise that her Dad would hand over the reigns of a job he’d taken on her whole life. She didn’t often need protecting, but her father had always been her greatest champion. For him to allow Killian to step into that role was huge.

“Really. And it’s not just because he’s stronger and faster than I will ever be, but because he loves you, more than life itself,” her Dad said, stunning Emma with his honesty and acceptance.

“He does,” Emma agreed, her heart filled with so much love in this moment. Love for her Dad and for Killian, two men who both cared so much for her and who had always shown her that she was theirs to protect and to embolden. “But did he explain it all Dad? We could be in real danger. I know Killian will do anything it takes if it comes to that, but -,”

“I want you to know that it’s all going to be okay, Emma,” her Dad said as he put a hand on her shoulder, something he’d done many times through the course of the years. “I’ve talked to Graham and to Tink. We have some elements put in place already for would-be hostile shifters. And I’ll call your Uncle Lance in the morning and get him and Gwen here ASAP. I thought about maybe sparing him the headache, but you know him. He’ll be livid if we leave him out of anything that could be considered a good story.”

Emma wanted to laugh at that because it was honestly funny. She could picture Uncle Lance now, bemoaning a fact that he missed a good fight and whining (but still in a loveable way) that he was left out. But this wasn’t some party that people weren’t getting invited to. This was a potentially dangerous and more than hostile situation.

“I never wanted any of this to happen. I never dreamed that we might be in danger, and I know Killian didn’t either.”

“There’s no need to explain, Emma. You love each other and you’re bonded. His danger is your danger and vice versa, but that also means your family is his family. No one has to go through this alone. We’re all stronger together, and I would never let anything break this family apart. This is a battle we can fight, and not all battles are like that.”

“I love you, Dad,” Emma said hugging him quickly and taking comfort in his firm embrace. She knew he was thinking back on Neal being sick and how helpless that moment was. Emma hoped it wouldn’t actually come to fighting Liam. Maybe this was all being blown out of proportion, but she knew her Dad was right. They had better chances of beating someone who wanted a physical fight than they did of an unknown disease. They’d been through hell before, and they could all do it again.

“And I love you, Emma,” he said, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head before stepping back. “But we should get back now. Your mother has missed you something fierce. Best to give her as much time as possible tonight so she doesn’t start stalking you tomorrow.”

With a shared laugh, Emma and her father headed back to the living room where everyone was seated. With one last kiss to her father’s cheek she took her spot by Killian on the couch. Immediately his hand found hers and she felt so at peace, and though she knew her parents eyes were watching her closely over the next hour of the party, Emma didn’t care. She knew they had their approval and best wishes, and that was perfect as far as she was concerned.

“You know, Ems, I don’t think you’ve given Killian a proper tour,” Anna said, the mischievousness of her intention seeping through in her tone.

“Well technically I haven’t given Ruby or Granny one either,” Emma quipped, expecting the subject to drop when she did, but it seemed not only Anna was in on this little attempt.

“Actually your Mother showed me around earlier,” Granny said with a wry smile.

“And I have the witchy all-seeing thing happening so I don’t really need tours,” Ruby said. Emma looked at them all, waiting to see if any of them would break, but they all stood strong, unyielding in their want to give Emma and Killian alone time. 

“Right, well we’re all still visiting. Killian can look around any time. It’s not like he’s going anywhere,” Emma insisted and it was her mother who interjected. 

“We know that, but still it would be rude not to give him the tour, honey. Go on – it won’t take you long and I’d hate to have to ask your father to do it.” 

“Hey! I give great tours,” her father insisted and though Emma agreed she hopped up immediately, not wanting to subject Killian to an undisclosed amount of time with her Dad if they didn’t have to. 

“Of course you do, Charming.”

“Quick, before they hurt themselves with the plotting on our behalf,” Emma whispered to Killian who chuckled aloud as he rose with her, following her out of the living room and towards the rest of the house.

“It’s crazy how one second they’re testing us and the next they’re trying to get us alone,” Killian mused as they walked through the study and then her parents’ library on the first floor. “I hardly know what to expect at any given moment.” 

“I wish I could say that will change, but with my family it probably won’t. I love them, but they just love to meddle. It’s in their blood.”

“Which technically means it’s in your blood too, love, yet I never seem to see you interfering in such ways.”

“Maybe I just haven’t had the chance yet,” Emma said, pulling Killian towards the stairs so they could see upstairs. The action made her heart flutter. She’d never actually had a guy up here before, and all through her teen years she’d thought about it. Other kids were sneaking away with high school sweethearts, but Emma felt like she could never even try. Her parents were vigilant with a capital V and because of that Emma always knew it was best to play things safe. “Who knows, maybe when Elsa or Anna find someone I’ll be just as involved.”

“Somehow I don’t doubt that, love,” Killian said with a grin. “So this room was yours then.”

“How could you tell?” Emma joked, what with the girlish white canopy over the bed and the pale yellow color on the walls. There were also all sorts of books, most of them about animals, and trophies from her days running track and cross country. 

“It feels like you here,” Killian said definitively. He moved forward, looking about on the tops of her dressers and tables. He gazed at every picture and item that she’d kept here. It was kind of a time capsule here, with the person she was at eighteen essentially frozen in place while still being surrounded by items from her younger days. But where she could have been embarrassed, she found she was totally comfortable with Killian seeing all of this.

“Did your room at home feel like you?” Emma asked, curious about his life abroad. She knew a lot about it, about the running and yet also how Killian felt safe there for so long. But she never asked for details like that, and she found herself now wondering what a snapshot into Killian’s youth would have looked like. 

“It did to an extent. But it never held much significance to me. The house was important. It was the place my mother made for us, but my room… well I haven’t thought of it in a long time.” 

“Sorry to bring up bad memories,” Emma whispered and Killian turned, approaching her and taking her hand in his.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Emma. The memories aren’t bad, not all of them. If anything you’re doing me a favor.” She looked into his eyes, searching for clarification. “You remind me that so much of my past was good, despite everything, and that as lost and broken as I’ve felt, I had everything I needed before. I have memories just as worth preserving as the ones worth forgetting.” 

Emma felt a surge of pride at Killian’s words, not just because she was proud of him and his growth since they’d met, but also because she was happy she was making a difference in his life. Killian deserved to have the best and to access the good that he’d seen without the pain of the bad that had taken much of it away. If she helped him to rejoice in what was in any way she was overjoyed, and as he took her more fully into his arms, his hands drawing gentle but thrilling that feeling only grew stronger.

“So I hate to ask, but I can’t seem to help myself. Did you ever… I mean did anyone ever…”

“The only guests in this room were my family and Anna and Elsa,” Emma said, understanding what his question was going to be. She couldn’t help but smile at his jealousy of a boy who never existed, and when he looked so relieved at her confession she laughed aloud. “Tragically this room never saw much action.” 

“Well we could change that, love,” Killian said, his eyes moving from hers down to her mouth. She could see the hunger there in his gaze, and as she watched him wet his own lips her heart fluttered and the gnawing sense of want low in her gut grew louder and louder. “We could pretend, just for a few moments, that our pasts aren’t what they were. We could pretend we’d met sooner, that we’d found each other all those years ago.”

“And let me guess, you’d have been the kind of boy who climbed up terraces to get the girl?” Emma asked, her voice going breathy as Killian’s hands moved across her body. She took a few steps towards the bed, and Killian immediately followed.

“If you were the lass up in the tower then yes, I’d have been exactly that kind of boy.”

Emma allowed herself to imagine what it would have been like. As a man Killian was gorgeous, and she knew as a teen he’d have stolen her breath away. The attraction they had now would still have been there, if just a little more awkward and bumbling. But it was a beautiful dream, to think of finding one’s soul mate so soon. She found herself craving that fantasy, and she pulled him down for a kiss to live it out if only for a moment. The two of them tumbled to the bed, but Emma noticed how quiet the action was, no doubt thanks to Killian’s shifter graces. It turned her on to no end, and she began to lose herself, forgetting where they were and why they were here. All she knew was she wanted Killian and she never wanted to let go. She wrapped herself around him, and lost all track of time. He always took her to this totally new place, and tonight was really no exception.

“I think we would have had a real problem if the fantasy were true, love,” Killian said when he finally pulled back from the delicious moment they were having. The words confused her and she blinked up at him only to find him smiling down at her thoughtfully, his fingers running through her hair as he gazed down at her. “I suspect I would have been here far too often. With an enticement like you up in this tower, nothing could have kept me away.”

“I’m sure my father would have loved that,” Emma joked and Killian grinned, his eyebrows wagging mischievously as he pulled her back up to a standing position and quickly straightened out the scene of the crime. He helped her pull her dress back to where it should be and then adjusted his shirt accordingly. 

“Speaking of, I believe your father’s patience is wearing thin. I can hear pacing downstairs. What do you say we put him out of his misery?”

“Good call,” Emma agreed, taking one last look at her room and then accepting Killian’s hand as they headed back to the hallway. “But this is not over.”

“No it most certainly is not,” Killian agreed, pressing one last kiss to her lips before they descended the stairs and returned to the rest of the group who all gave them knowing looks. Killian remained unfazed by them, but Emma could feel a blush creeping over her cheeks. Still, she took her seat again on the couch, unwilling to let the attention get to her.

“Did you two have a nice time?” her mother asked and Emma tried to respond but Killian took the reins for her.

“We did. You have a beautiful home, Mrs. Nolan, one that’s clearly housed a remarkable life for your children.”

“Well thank you, Killian,” her mother said, clearly touched by the compliment. “That’s very sweet. I’m sure you and Emma will do the same someday soon.”

Emma inhaled so sharply that she almost started choking on air, but her mother’s grand statement had been even more badly timed for her father, who was taking a sip of his night cap. He began coughing immediately, his eyes almost bugging out of his head at the comment, but where everyone else looked concerned, Emma’s mother was not. “Oh come on, David. I was just teasing. I know they’ll do things in their own time. No one’s rushing anyone.”

“Good,” her Dad said when he finally caught his breath. “But please, let’s keep all future ‘teasing’ to moments when I’m not drinking, shall we?” 

Everyone laughed and her mother agreed. “Sounds like a deal, Charming. Now why don’t you come sit down with me? I just convinced Ruby and Elsa and Anna that we should play some sort of game and I know how much you love charades. You can be on my team.”

Emma’s father smiled and moved across the room, but before he reached her mother a knock sounded at the door. Immediately the shifters went on red alert, and Emma guessed that Granny and Ruby had fallen into the same sense of comfort that Killian was prone to while in Storybrooke. It was hard to take shifters off guard, and with Ruby it should be even harder, but it had been done just now to none of their liking. Her Dad, however, didn’t seem worried in the slightest as he moved to the entryway. Only when he’d opened the door did she hear his inhale of breath and immediately Emma looked to see who it was, not believing her eyes when her gaze landed on the unannounced guest. She blinked a few times, stunned into silence and spell bound by the scene before her. There was no way. Like seriously, no way.

“Oh David,” the woman said, her voice filled with emotion and her big eyes filled with tears. “It’s really you. I found you. I finally found you.”

Instinctively, Emma’s mother stood up, moving to her Dad as the woman pushed forward and hugged him close and when she did, their new arrival was obscured from Emma’s vision. In that moment Emma told herself there was no chance that this could be who she thought it was. Her eyes had to be playing tricks on her, but when they pulled back Emma saw her again and she knew she wasn’t mistaken. While this woman had never been here in all her life, Emma had seen this woman before, in a photo on her Dad’s desk at the clinic. But though so many years had passed since that photograph was taken, this woman stood here truly untouched by time. Somehow a ghost from the past was here with them tonight, and Emma was unable to fathom how anything like this could possibly be happening.

“Emma, love, who is that?” Killian asked, his voice on edge and his hands on her in a protective hold. She looked back to him, sensing his panic and his dislike for this uncertainty, and she reached for him, still not knowing what to say. She turned back to the rest of the room, and she found that the others were also looking at her for an answer, but Emma felt like hers couldn’t possibly be right. Still she said it aloud, hearing how crazy it sounded, but knowing despite all reason that her guess was correct.

“I think… I think it’s my grandmother.”

**_Post-Note: So I’m guessing most of you are looking at the screen you’re reading this on thinking ‘uh, what did she just say?’ and honestly that makes a lot of sense. This is a pretty out of left field thing, but I’ve known since the beginning that David’s story and his family aren’t as cut and dry as they’ve seemed. Not only do they have hunter lore and that background, but there are other things clearly at play if his Mom can potentially be back here. For those of you who don’t recall, all we’ve heard of about Ruth was that she’s in a photo on David’s desk and that she reportedly died in childbirth. But not to worry, next chapter will address those questions of what the heck is happening, and you’ll see how this story line fits into other ones I have been weaving together throughout the story up to now. Anyway thanks so much for reading, and I really hope that you’ve enjoyed!_ **


	15. Chapter 15

**_A/N: Hey all! I am finally back with another chapter of Lost Souls, and after my last cliff-hanger I am sure you all have some questions in need of answers. It’s been so long you might have to go back and remind yourself of what happened, don’t worry I won’t judge. But hopefully I will be giving you some of those answers we are needing in this installment, though there are still lots of things yet to be fully explained. I also just want to warn you all this chapter is a difficult one. We don’t have a flashback per se, but there is talk of David’s past and one of the parts of his past is that his brother died when they were kids, as you will recall. This is obviously pretty sad subject area so if some of you want to skip and check in with me about what we’ve learned that’s totally fine. Just want to give you fair warning that there are some sadder moments here (even if there is still CS fluff!). Anyway excited to see what you all think and thanks so much for continuing with me on this ‘Lost Souls’ adventure!_ **

Despite the fact that Killian had closed himself off emotionally for years, he’d always considered himself an open-minded person. 

Growing up as a shifter in a human world left a person with a certain sense that more was possible. Magic had been a part of the lore of his life since he was born, and so too had strange happenings of fate. For Killian those twists and turns had mostly been bad, but then he found Emma and he thought his luck had certifiably turned. But in the past few days, things had been _interesting_ , for lack of a better word. Truly, Killian could not conceive of a time when there’d been more surprise or unexpected happenings, but right now, at Emma’s parents house, He was completely and totally stunned yet again. So stunned that he had to ask Emma to repeat herself. 

“I’m sorry, what did you say love?” 

“I said I think she’s my grandmother.”

There were roughly one billion other things Emma could have said that would make more sense to Killian in that moment, because truth be told there was no way that this woman, this young, maybe thirty year old woman, could be Emma’s grandparent. She was younger than David and Mary Margaret, easily closer to his and Emma’s age than either of them, but from the way the woman had flung herself into Emma’s father’s arms and was currently clinging to David, Killian knew she had to be someone who loved him. At the very least she was relieved to see the man, and then Emma’s father spoke, and the claim his mate had put before them all was proved true.

“Mom? But how… you’re…” David’s voice cracked, something Killian had never heard from the man before. Emma’s father was a collected and put together person, but right now he was clearly struggling to comprehended all that stood before him.

“Dead,” Mary Margaret finished in a whisper as she came to stand by her husband, and though Emma’s mother was usually the embodiment of kindness and enthusiastic greetings, she seemed shocked and somewhat aghast when their new guest pulled her into a hug too. 

“Oh David, look what a fine job you did. She’s beautiful. I always knew you’d have a lovely wife someday. A real soul mate, like you deserve. I used to dream of how it would be, ever since I knew that I was pregnant. I just thought I’d be there for all those other milestones too. You were just a baby, and now here you are, a man, a husband, a father.” 

For a few more moments everyone continued to look on with fascination and complete disbelief. It was as if all of them were frozen, and the only one who wasn’t beholden to this state of complete bewilderment was the newest arrival. David’s possible mother – Mrs. Nolan? Ruth? Killian didn’t know what to call her really – looked positively elated, and she was standing there taking everything in about the man she claimed was her son. While she did that, Killian moved his attention to Emma. Her green eyes were filled with wonder and she was spellbound by the sight of her parents and the woman claiming to be their kin. Then she shook her head, as if trying to clear her thoughts and her eyes found Killian’s. 

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Emma whispered, low enough that only he could hear her. “My father has a picture of her holding him when he was just born, and she looks the _exact_ same. But how could that happen? How can she be here and how can she look like this?”

“I don’t know, love,” Killian responded, pulling her closer to his side. “But we’ll figure it out together.”

“How is this possible?”

As David asked the question, Emma looked back to the doorway. Meanwhile, Killian looked over to Ruby for guidance. She should have seen something about this, right? At the very least her gift should give her some intuitive glimpses now. But when he glanced his cousin’s way she shook her head. She had nothing to offer and her face spoke to her disappointment and confusion at not being able to read the situation. This grew stranger and stranger by the second and that made Killian nervous. Maybe this woman wasn’t who she said she was. Maybe they had to be more cautious than the original shock to the system would allow.

“It’s okay, Killian,” Anna said, calmly from across the room. He had stiffened considerably without realizing it, and he was about to rise up, putting himself in the direct way between Emma and this stranger when Anna spoke. Killian, along with everyone else, looked to her quizzically. “She is who she says she is, right Els?”

“Yes,” Elsa agreed quickly. “But I don’t know how it’s possible.” 

“I can help with the particulars," the woman said, making it perfectly clear that she could hear everything going on inside despite their attempts to keep quiet. “But it’s a complicated story, one that merits a little more than a quick recount in the doorway.”

After silently exchanging a look that spoke to the easy connection of long time true loves, David and Mary Margaret let the woman inside. Killian watched the way Emma’s mother stood by her husband’s side as this familiar stranger entered their home. Mary Margaret was trying to protect David, and Killian could feel Emma’s want to do the same though she stayed rooted where she was. She squeezed Killian’s hand lightly, and he knew that she was staying put for his benefit. He would worry if Emma wasn’t right here beside him, and he was so grateful that Emma understood that about him. Too many bad things had happened in his life for him to trust easy, and despite everyone’s attempt at making him comfortable, he wasn’t going to find comfort, not until they knew everything and had absolutely checked out this woman’s story as the truth.

Killian’s eyes tracked their movements back into the living room closely, seeing the way David and Mary Margaret were still stiff and a bit unsteady. Meanwhile Emma’s grandmother was radiating joy, and then she turned to Emma and her eyes went wide again. In a split second she looked just as happy at seeing his mate as she had at seeing David, which made no sense. If Killian was understanding this correctly, David’s mother had died, or left as it were, when David was only an infant. She should have had no encounters with Emma on any level at any point. Yet the recognition in her gaze was instant, and as impossible as this whole situation was, this was an added layer of abnormality.

“Emma! Oh my goodness, look at you,” she said, rushing forward and only stopping when she was just about to touch Emma. She seemed to remember that the happiness of their meeting was not a given on both sides, and she kept herself from grasping for Emma even though her look of joy remained. “You’re exactly as I dreamed you would be, honey. So beautiful and all grown up now.”

“You’ve dreamed of me?” Emma asked, clearly shaken by the thought and the woman nodded even as she looked unsure of how to proceed.

“Why don’t I start at the beginning, yeah?" 

“That’s usually a good place to begin,” Killian stated, and he noticed the way this woman - supposedly Emma’s grandmother - smiled at him. She gazed upon him and Emma with the same satisfied look that Emma’s mother was prone to using, and he could sense her genuine delight at seeing them together. 

“Before you do though, maybe we should leave?” Elsa asked, not wanting to intrude. It was very telling that her good manners remained even in a time of upheaval, but though Killian knew she meant what she said, he could see Anna’s despair at the thought. Clearly the younger sister was incredibly intrigued and she had no want to leave the scene before them. “You all could use the privacy.”

“I think it’s probably best that you stay actually,” David said, coming to take a seat after seeing his mother had found a comfortable spot in a chair just beside him. “Whatever is happening here, it’s clearly not normal, and given the way things are right now, I think we should all be aware of everything out of the ordinary. Besides, we’re family, all of us.”  
  
The words packed a powerful punch for Killian and he had to wonder if they were the product of David’s true feelings or if he was simply overwhelmed by it all. It was one thing to say that Anna and Elsa were members of the family: these girls had grown up with Emma and been very close to the Nolan’s for years. But he and Ruby and Granny were far newer additions, and though Killian knew he would forever be a permanent fixture in Emma’s life as her mate, he was still honored to have that be recognized. When David nodded at Killian he knew that Emma’s father had meant what he said, and Killian’s slight feeling of discomfort shifted back to curiosity and protectiveness towards Emma. 

“Well, I guess I should start with the basics. My name is Ruth Nolan. I was born in a small town in Washington State, well outside of Seattle -,”

“When?” Anna interrupted, clearly thinking the same thing everyone else was – how had this woman not aged from the time she had David?

“The summer of 1950. But we’ll get to how that’s possible soon enough,” Ruth said offering a sad attempt at a smile as she pressed on. “The family I grew up in was…unique you could say. It was my parents and I and my older brother George. I had cousins as well, a big extended family on the whole, but beyond them I knew very little of the world and very few people. We stayed rather insulated in the woods where we lived because… well because…”

“Because they were hunters,” David filled in, saying the words his mother had been afraid to say in mixed company. “Everyone here knows about the shifter world. Actually wait, did you guys hear about hunters?”

The question was aimed to Elsa and Anna, and Killian could see the softness of a father’s love extended to Emma’s friends from David. It was clear that he saw them as extensions of his children too, and his ability to be mindful of them and where they were in knowing things spoke to his love for them.

“We did. Well we caught the basics anyway,” Elsa clarified. “Enough to know we want nothing to do with them.”

“Good,” David said sternly before looking back at his mother. “Because _we_ aren’t hunters and we never will be.”

“Oh thank God,” Ruth exclaimed, closing her eyes and looking relieved. “That life was all I ever knew growing up, and I didn’t see it as evil or wicked when I was young. When you’re raised on stories of danger and monsters in the dark, you don’t question it. You’re taught to trust your parents and to heed their counsel. So I listened to them and I carried their teachings, but it was still very abstract to me. I always thought of myself as an ordinary girl, even if we didn’t have an ordinary life, and then, when I was sixteen my parents were gone, killed by a clan they’d been hunting for a few months.”

Killian could sense the surprise that everyone was feeling, including Emma. The only one’s who weren’t taken aback by the words were David and Mary Margaret. Killian knew that would have changed eventually. After speaking with her father and learning the first pieces of her family’s legacy, she was bound to find out more. But time hadn’t been on their side. So many things had happened between now and then, and as Ruth proceeded, Killian knew she was going to bring far more with her. 

“Well actually, tormenting is a better word for what my family did to that pack. My father and his brothers were as merciless and they were clinical, with very few rules and absolutely no empathy at all. They were not above torture, and half of their joy came from stalking a party before the hunt. Women and children didn’t register as being any different. Shifters were shifters and they had to be eradicated.”

Killian’s anger at the very notion was difficult to contain. He had heard talk of hunters before, but it still filled him with rage to think that there were men and women out there in the world who lived solely to harm his kind. Didn’t they understand that shifters were just like everyone else? Having the ability to shift into an animal and some added bonuses of increased healing or faster reflexes and increased strength didn’t make him someone who lacked humanity. He was still a person, and he and his fellow shifters were worth more than brutal slaughter based solely on their gifts. True, there were good and bad shifters, just like there were people, but for the most part, all shifters wanted was to go about their lives and live in peace away from the dangers of the world.

“I didn’t understand that fierceness of feeling,” Ruth confessed, drawing Killian’s attention back to her story. “I could never seem to muster the hatred it took or the coldness one had to have to kill without feeling. Girls weren’t trained like boys were back then, not typically. We were more supporting figures –running house, creating supplies, helping raise the next generation of shifters - but when my parents died and George took over as the head of our family, he let me into the true world of hunters. He thought that the anger and rage he felt at my parent’s death would be mirrored in me. He thought if I knew the realities of the world in which we lived I’d come to hate shifters as much as he did. But he showed me too much without realizing that I myself had experience and a sense of what was right and what was wrong. I knew the world wasn’t really as he said it was because I saw the destruction he was causing first hand. No being deserved the kind of cruelty my brother saved for shifters and I knew all shifters couldn’t be monsters. It just wasn’t possible, and then, one day I met Robert and it all changed.”

“Who is Robert?” Mary Margaret asked and Ruth gave a soft, somber smile.

“Robert is David’s father.”

“My father? But who was he? What happened to him?” David asked, clearly dying to know. It was the first time that David had seemed unsure of a part of the story. “George said he was a fellow hunter from an old family, but I never believed that. If he were, then why wouldn’t he and his family be raising us? Why would he leave heirs to his family’s legacy?”

“Ha! A hunter? No, quite the opposite. Robert wasn’t a hunter, he was a shifter. A wolf to be exact.”

There would have been complete silence in the room at that wildly unexpected announcement if not for Ruby’s instinctual response of, “Oh. My. GOD! I knew you guys weren’t totally human!” The looks she drew from Ruth, David, and everyone else reminded Ruby that this was a moment that wasn’t strictly appropriate and she demurred. “Sorry, my bad.” 

“It’s quite alright, dear, and you’re correct…” Ruth said, looking to get his cousin’s name and showing a lot of patience when others might not have. 

“Ruby.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ruby. And as you’ve noted, my sons were not fully human. David and James were born hybrids, and as far as I could tell they were the first of their kind.”

“Wait, you had cubs with a shifter? So were you mated?” Emma asked, her voice curious even as it sounded a bit hoarse from the shock she was still feeling. The implications of her father being a hybrid shifter – if that was even possible – were astounding, and it would no doubt have a deep and real impact on Emma.

“We were,” Ruth said, a sad smile spreading on her face. “Humans and shifters aren’t usually mates as I am sure you know, but I found out later that we could be because of old hunter practice. When women are pregnant in hunter clans they drink shifter blood for strength. It’s believed that blood makes for stronger hunters, and the only way to kill shifters is with added strength.”

“Ew!” Anna exclaimed at the same time that Emma and Elsa winced. Killian had heard rumors of that ritual and it disgusted him to his core, but to find out it was real was galling. What a twisted way of living these hunters had. 

“Yes, it’s hardly a sound or logical choice. But that little bit of blood seemed enough to allow Robert and I to be fated mates. I don’t know the particulars, but I do know he was mine and I was his,” Ruth said, her eyes going glassy with the memories of her mate. Killian wondered where this Robert was, but he had a sense of foreboding that it wasn’t anywhere good before Ruth confided the truth. “But our time was over far too soon. We were going to leave, run away together and start a family in a place without the baggage of his clan or my family. But before we could, Robert was killed. Murdered by my brother.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Mary Margaret said, and Killian didn’t know if she meant it more for Ruth or for her husband, but both of them seemed to take comfort in her words and soothing touch.

“It was a long time ago, though to be fair, not so long ago to me. Five years give or take.”

“Which brings us to the ultimate question,” David said gruffly. “How is it possible that you’ve barely aged? So many years have gone by, but you’re still exactly the same.”

“When I lost your father I was devastated,” Ruth said, her breathing little shaky as she recounted the emotion. “It was the worst kind of pain I had ever known up to then, but I couldn’t even begin to show my sadness. I couldn’t grieve for risk of giving everything away. If I had, your Uncle would have known what we were to each other. I can’t even imagine what he would have done if he knew I mated a shifter. Sister or not it wouldn’t have mattered. I’d be the enemy because of who I loved. The only reason I’m alive now is because he never found out. But I couldn’t hide the truth forever.”

“Because you were pregnant,” Anna whispered and Ruth nodded.

“There’s no way to describe how I felt when I found out. At first I was elated. I always wanted children, and I loved you and your brother from the start, David. But then I was so sad, sad that your father would never get the chance to know you and that you boys would never know him. It was cruel and unspeakable, and then, to make matters worse, the fear set in. How would I ever explain that I was pregnant? My brother knew everyone in my life except for Robert. But even more than that there was a danger of how I could ever find a way to hide your true nature from everyone.”

“But I thought shifter children weren’t detectable,” Emma said, voicing a confusion a few of them shared. 

“They aren’t, not usually, but given that the babies were both were a mix of human and shifter I just couldn’t be sure. All I knew was I had to protect them. I thought about running, but I didn’t trust that I could go off the grid enough to elude my brother and that we’d ever be safe. So I made a decision. I told my brother I was going on a solo trek. I claimed that I wanted to be like the other hunters in our family so I would go for six months alone into the wilderness and identify another pack that was vulnerable. He agreed, but instead of finding other shifters I tracked down a male witch, supposedly the most powerful in a thousand miles. He went by the name of Gold.”

“Oh God no,” Granny said aloud and though no one else knew why she said it, Ruth agreed.

“Oh no is right. That man – that _monster_ \- told me that he would help me. He said he would block David and James’ true natures so they would never be discovered. I was so relieved that there might be an answer that I barely noted his warning: ‘magic always comes with a price.’”

“That’s bull shit!” Ruby said angrily. “Magic is freely given if a witch is good. There’s no price that comes with it.” 

“And so it is, at least it’s supposed to be, but with Gold there was a transaction required, and I didn’t know what it would be. I didn’t imagine it would be some huge sacrifice, and I had inherited money from my parents. I assumed it would be some sort of goods that he wanted, and I only found out after I had the boys what was actually expected of me. I was in the hospital, holding them both, thankful they were both well and healthy after fighting so hard to get them here. I had no one with me, so the nurses took some pictures. I thought they would just be snapshots – one moment of so many - but then he came. He came and he told me that it was time to pay, and it turned out the payment he had in mind was me.” 

“You?” Mary Margaret asked, her dismay ringing out clear as day.

“Me,” Ruth said grimly, and Killian could sense she wasn’t past the trauma such an exchange would have caused. “He came to the hospital and he told me that the spell he’d created had built in fail safes. He could undo the spell at any time, and doing so wouldn’t just expose the boys. This was a magic that had never been used so there was no telling what would happen. I was devastated. I begged him not to undo anything. I begged for your life David, your life and James’ and he said the only way he would leave things be was if I left right then and there.

“It broke my heart in every way to say good bye to you, but I clung to two little lights in my new sea of darkness – one, you both had each other. You would never be alone,” Ruth said, her voice breaking as she cried, no doubt for the son she had lost. Emma hadn’t been super detailed, but Killian knew that David’s brother had passed of a childhood illness, the same illness that her brother Neal had suffered from years back. As Ruth allowed herself to give in to some of her grief, David enveloped her in his arms, and Killian saw the tears Emma’s father let free at the same time. Still, Ruth pushed forward, adamant that her story must be told. “But more than that, I also believed you were free. Free of the Nolan burden. I used a totally different name. I left no contact for the hospital, and though I was terrified of what leaving you to the system would mean, I had to believe it was better than my brother.”

“But we still ended up with him,” David said, pushing through the emotion that clung to him.

“It was Gold. That heartless bastard. He decided to test his magic. He was as proud as he was terrible, and he wanted to prove to himself and to everyone that his magic would be smart enough to outwit one of the greatest hunting families in the Americas. He told your Uncle I’d been found and had given birth. And though I don’t know what else he offered as explanation, I do know Gold still believes that George had no idea.”

“So he took you. And then what happened?” Emma asked, trying to push her grandmother towards resolution so this pain and agony would subside.

“I was put under a sleeping curse. It froze me essentially, and while I was frozen Gold ran these magical tests, so to speak. He was consumed with the possibility of humans and shifters being together. He thought it could mean a whole new world order. And he didn’t like the idea of that world.”

“No, I can’t imagine he would have,” Granny said, reminding everyone that she had heard of the man in question before. “Anything that gets in the way of Gold and praise and power is something he’d detest.” 

“Exactly right,” Ruth said, the two women sharing a look that spoke to a mutual understanding. Meanwhile Killian was struck at the fact that these women were actually similar ages. It was crazy though that time had essentially stopped for one of them.

“So how did you get out then?” David inquired. “How did you escape him?”

“It was the strangest thing. I was asleep for decades, aware to some degree, but not really. Enough to know I was an occasional magical test subject but nothing more, and soon I was essentially forgotten, left in a room he had filled with other enchanted objects. Then one day I woke up. I woke up and all I knew was I had to get out. That was five years ago now.” 

“Five years?!” The questioned was asked aloud by multiple people in the room, but no doubt thought by all of them. Five years? Killian assumed that she’d awoken only recently. Honestly he thought maybe this was another effect of his and Emma’s mating. But five years ago?

“What happened five years ago?” Anna asked and Ruth shook her head, shrugging.

“I was honestly hoping you all might know. It wasn’t Gold. He’s still alive, and you can imagine very angry that I managed to slip away. But for whatever reason his magic doesn’t seem to have any more effect. I’m free of him and there’s no real reason I can guess as to why. So I assumed it must have something to do with you all.”

“I don’t know what it could have been,” Mary Margaret replied. “Five years ago we were in Boston. We were just praying and hoping Neal would be all right. It became our whole life, and then, by some miracle he got better.”

“All I know is I woke up on October eleventh. Does that date ring a bell for anyone?”

“The eleventh?” Emma asked, her eyes finding Elsa’s and Killian watched as the friends looked curious. 

“Wasn’t that the day I came to see you all?” Elsa asked and Emma and her parents nodded. 

“It was also the day Neal finally took a turn for the better,’ Mary Margaret said. “The first day of the end of his illness. The treatment he was on… we didn’t think it would work but the doctor’s called it a miracle.”

“Unless it wasn’t,” Emma whispered, low enough that Killian believed he was likely the only one to hear her. Then her voice grew louder as she started to fit the pieces of this mystery together. “What if it wasn’t the medicine that made Neal better? What if it was Elsa?”

“Me?” Elsa asked and Emma nodded.

“I left you two for a few minutes, remember? I went back to the alley to look for signs of the attack and when I came back you were passed out. You said you were just tired but what if you weren’t? What if something happened… something magical?”

“Neal was expecting me,” Elsa said, as if the memory was more foreign to her than Emma, but they all watched as she started to recall whatever part of the story she’d forgotten in the past. “And it was the strangest thing because I woke up in the morning and I knew I had to get to you guys. But usually when I feel like that my dreams are vivid. They tell me everything I need to know. But not that night. I just remembered going to the hospital. I took Neal’s hand and then he said it was time. I was so freaked out, I thought he meant it was time for him to go. He was so sick, but he was also so happy still. The next thing I knew I was warm. I was burning up with his hand in mind and the room… it was filled with light… I don’t.”

“Oh my God you reversed the block,” Ruby murmured aloud, her eyes glazed over in the way Killian knew meant she was having a vision of her own. No doubt she’d accessed Elsa’s memories and she was witnessing it all first hand. “I don’t know how – I didn’t even know witches could undo the spells of another – but you settled him. He was sick because his shifter soul was restless, soaking up all of his energy and life force because it was rejecting being split from the part of him that was human. To block their powers Gold separated the pieces and Elsa put them back again.”

“That must have been what woke me up!” Ruth exclaimed. “The deal was that my family would be blocked from recognition. Those words turned out to be so fatally important in the end. I meant to say that they would be safe, but clearly that wasn’t the case for James. I stole away some of Gold’s old journals filled with the notes about my case. James rejected the spell in the end. That was what took him from us. But when you shifted the block entirely, the deal was broken and Gold’s magical hold of me had to break, right?”

“Yes,” Ruby said. “Transactional magic is absolute, and once it’s broken it’s broken for good.”

The conversation from there was still involved, and there were more revelations and details pieced together. Ruby, Anna, and Elsa began to try and figure out how Elsa’s magic could be capable of overriding the magic of another. At the same time Emma’s parents continued to ask more questions about where Ruth had been for all of these years and about the logistics of tracking them down. It stood to reason that her ability to act would be substantially halted given the situation: she had been put to sleep decades ago, well before the internet or modern digital world. Everything she knew was different and she no longer had anyone she could consider a friend to help her. She had to start from basically nothing, her only saving grace being that Gold had no need for money. She’d taken enough originally to start a life for her and her sons, and she eventually used it to get away and to try and track down what had happened to them without notifying her brother. That turned out to be an incredibly complex task because David’s Uncle had done everything he could to keep them off the grid, and when James had died he moved David to a new hunter circle hundreds of miles away.

While all of this was happening, and Ruth was trying to track down her long lost family, the dreams had begun to crop up more and more. They were particularly noticeable in the first year since she’d woken up, and over the years the dreams decreased, not cropping up as much as usual. Most nights Ruth didn’t remember them the next morning, but the one’s she did remember always had Emma in them. In the beginning she didn’t know who Emma was. Ruth was confused and befuddled, but then, when she’d finally managed to track down David, who also had taken every care to not be so easily discovered, she saw a picture of their family. It was from the last inauguration for Mary Margaret as mayor, just a few months before, and immediately she knew that this was a sign. She believed it was residual magic from being tested on by Gold somehow at work, but Killian knew it wasn’t. These dreams involved Emma because Emma was special, and though not all of her abilities had been explained or fully articulated tonight, it had become very clear that she was more than she always imagined.

Despite everyone’s want to get to the answers tonight, Killian knew that would never happen so quickly, and eventually a time came when Killian had to put the good of his mate over her continued curiosity. Emma could have likely stayed for hours more, asking questions and trying to make sense of the huge changes that had just come hurtling at them, but Killian reminded her of how long of a day they had had. She’d risen early, worried about Elsa and Anna, gone on an emotional journey with her best friends and family, and then discovered all sorts of new parts about herself in a little more than twelve hours. That was too much for the mind to bear peacefully, and more answers could wait until tomorrow, but right now what his mate needed was rest and a bit of reprieve.

Luckily as they were gearing up to depart for the night it was decided that Ruby and Granny would stay with Elsa and Anna. Emma’s friends had the room at their house, and as much as Emma and her family had to deal with, Elsa and Anna truly had just as much to come to terms with. That process would no doubt be helped by being close to Ruby. And despite the fact that he loved Ruby and Granny, Killian was glad for the solitude. He needed to be alone with Emma now, to make sure she was truly okay, and to help her get through this moment of substantial upheaval.

“Do you think it’s always going to be like this?” Emma asked, when the front door was closed behind them, and they were back safely inside his cabin once again. She looked so beautiful across the room even though he could see that she was tired and uncertain. “Do you think there’s always going to be another big surprise coming down the pike? Or do you think we’ll ever be…”

“Normal?” Killian offered and Emma nodded as she exhaled a sigh, glad for his understanding. He closed the space between them and pulled Emma into his arms, feeling every bit a champion when she leaned into his embrace and held on just as tight as he did. “I doubt normal in the traditional sense will ever be a descriptor for us, love. But I also know that eventually this will all pass. We’ll find our version of normal, and it won’t always be like this. This was just one day. Tomorrow is another." 

“But even with tomorrow, there’s still more coming. Liam is heading here. Elsa and Anna have to essentially go to magic school with Ruby. My parents have to figure out where my grandmother fits in our lives. She’s closer to my age than she is to theirs, Killian, I mean that’s just crazy. How are we ever going to manage that? Then we still have to tell Neal everything because he’s off at camp completely clueless, but his souls are blended again. Because people can apparently have more than one and they can be meddled with. And meanwhile I…” 

Emma tried to find the words to explain her feelings and thought it was difficult Killian patiently waited for her to complete her own thought, not wanting to speak for her when this sentiment was so important. It was undoubtedly the biggest reveal of the night, that Emma and her father and brother had wolf shifter lineage, but it was something Emma had to come to terms with even more than he did. Yes it had tremendous impact on Killian, and he found that he was amazed, awed, and excited at the prospect of Emma being like him, but he didn’t want to project those feelings to her. Whatever Emma felt, it was her right to feel as such, but he could only hope that she was going to be okay with all of this.

“I always knew something was off. You know what it was like for me, I told you about how things were a few years back, but I truly believed it was just nightmares. I thought it was all in my head, and then you came into my life and I found out about shifters and everything and I assumed this was another part of my bond to you. I was fated to be yours and this was just that link manifesting. I never imagined that I was a shifter, just a human with a shifter mate, but it’s so obvious now. Those dreams had you in them, yes, but they also had me. Or my wolf I guess. I knew it deep down, but I could never quite accept it. All this time there was another part of me just waiting to get out, and it might not be as restless as Neal’s was, thank God, but it was never truly settled either, not until you got here.”

Killian pressed a kiss to Emma’s temple as she hugged him tight and he was so glad that he had been a soothing balm for her. God knew that her presence had revived him. He had never been so happy, and never truly known peace, but now he had that with his mate. She lit up his world and gave him an anchor and a home at last. To know that he’d eased any of her burden or calmed the anxieties of her mind was enough for him. He just knew that whatever may come he’d do whatever it took to keep being such a force for good in her life.

“And we know those dreams she was having totally had to do with me. I mean am I projecting something? Is my lack of soul cohesion making me some sort of beacon? I don’t know because I don’t know how any of this works and the reality is no one does! We don’t have any answers and that terrifies me, because all I want to know is that we’re going to be okay and we’ll get past this.”

The fervor of her words made Emma’s breathing irregular. She seemed winded, not from exertion but from the intensity of unknown that lurked all around them. There were tears in her eyes, and that mistiness tore at his heart, but while Emma was worried, Killian was calm, at least in one regard. This was a storm for sure, but like any other storm in life this would eventually pass. He knew that deep in his bones, but he wanted her to know it too, and he thought of how to say that to her as he reached out to brush a wayward strand of hair from her face. His fingertips brushed lightly against her ear and then his hand cupped her cheek. She leaned into the touch, her eyes closing briefly, and then she looked back at him and Killian could see she already knew the truth he was going to speak. She only needed to be reminded.

“We will absolutely get past this, Emma,” Killian vowed. “And I swear to you that I will keep you and your loved ones safe no matter what. There’s upset in our world right now, but not with us. We are constant. We are solid. There’s no debate or doubt when it comes to us. You are mine as I am yours and we will be more than okay. I promise.”

“I want to believe that so badly,” Emma whispered, the sound of unshed tears spilling into her soft tone. “I do believe you. I just… I don’t want to deal with this tonight, you know?”

“Aye, love, I do. So I have a proposal,” he said and Emma’s brows immediately rose as her eyes grew big. He could see shock and a bit of panic at his poor choice of words and so he backtracked. “Not that kind of proposal. Not yet. I was going to say we can pick up where we left off earlier.”

“You mean back in my room? When we were pretending?” Emma asked, her cheeks flushing a beautiful shade of pink as she recalled how they’d been back at the house just hours before. It felt like ages ago, but also like mere moments. Instantly they were both at that same level of wanting, and now they hadn’t any need to wait. Thank God for that, because Killian didn’t think he could take it. After a day like this he needed his mate, needed reminding of how right the world could be when they brought things back to the foundations of the two of them together. 

“None of it was fake or forged on my end, Emma. The story might not be entirely ours but everything that matters was real." 

“I know,” Emma agreed, holding him tighter and pulling him towards the bedroom. “And I want that again. Make me forget, just for tonight.”

“As you wish.”

And with that, Killian brought his mate back to their bed, intent on ending this trying day with the best kind of medicine either of them could acquire. They made love until exhaustion set in, losing count of all the peaks they climbed together, but his last thought as he slipped of to bed was surprisingly certain and assured: everything really was going to be okay, and somehow, someway they were going to get through this together.

……………………..

_I’d rather be running._

Despite the thought that had been plaguing him all night as he sat in the passenger seat of this eighteen-wheeler truck, Liam knew that right now he had to ignore his animal instincts. 

It wouldn’t be possible to do so for very long. Truth be told, Liam had maybe an hour or two tops before the gnawing in his mind that manifested as a wolf’s sharp whining sound would get too much to bear. When it did he’d have the driver stop and let him off and then he’d feel a weight lifting off his shoulders. He hated the confinement of the truck and the caged feeling of driving on the highway versus tracking in the woods. But he had to get to Killian sooner rather than later, and since he wasn’t shifting on this journey, he couldn’t very well run the whole way coast to coast.

As a compromise Liam was hitchhiking with forested stops in between. He could handle the road in five to six hour increments and then he had to stop. He found food, not for any enjoyment or satisfaction, but to keep his energy up. He needed to be as sharp as he could for what was coming, and he also needed to treat his animal delicately. Even if it made the trip that much longer he had to abide by it. Flying wasn’t an option. Short of tranquilizing himself with enough sedative for four horses there wasn’t a force that could keep his animal anywhere near calm on such a journey. And trains, though grounded and often surrounded by woods and hills weren’t really the same. It still felt too industrial and too man-made. Things of that nature irked his animal now, and since the bite had taken hold of him Liam had to let his wolf win nearly every fight. It was a struggle to stay concealed and in control, so he sacrificed ease and comfort in the hopes of a return down the road.

“You know I meant to say it earlier, but you don’t exactly look the hitchhiking type.”

The driver of the truck who had let him tag along had been good at not bothering him with questions the past few hours. He would have gotten off the truck if too much talking ensued, and right now he knew he had to shut this conversation down too. He had no interest in discussing how he’d gotten here or what kind of person lived this way. The truck driver had no idea of his life or his choices. He was trying to sketch his likeness but it couldn’t be done. All that would happen was Liam would be irritated and the man would be left wondering.

“That probably means you’re a runner. Only question is are you running from something or towards something?”

Liam tried to keep from snarling at the comment. He looked over to the man, and though he knew he sent a glare his way that would make any shifter cower, this human seemed unfazed. In fact, he broke out into a smile at Liam’s standoffishness. 

“Towards something. Definitely towards,” the man mused aloud. “I get a lot of runners but not so many with a place in mind. Kind of refreshing actually.”

“Glad I can be of service,” Liam growled out and now the man laughed.

“Ah so he speaks at last. I was wondering if you’d forgotten how. Still can’t believe I picked you up when all you said was ‘Chengwatana.’ Usually I ask a few more questions, but despite the big scary thing you got going here I can tell you ain’t got ill intent.”

Liam was relieved when the man stopped talking. He was hoping he was out of the woods with that, so to speak, but unfortunately a few seconds later he started up again, causing Liam to tense noticeably. 

“Now don’t go getting yourself all worked up. I ain’t asking any questions aside from one. We’re gonna hit the forest in an hour. It’s the middle of the night and you ain’t got shit with you. You equipped to handle this? Biggest state park in the state of Minnesota. There’s animals out there, and the elements ain’t always too friendly.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Liam said, looking at the man and hoping to impart that to him. The concern he saw there was well-meant, and Liam knew this man had done him a great service. He had helped a stranger for nothing in return and was making sure he’d be okay hereafter. That was a kind thing to do, but it had been a long time since kindness came naturally to Liam.

“Well all right then. Why don’t we go back to silence then? Seems you like it best that way.” 

And without any more conversation, their drive continued on as Liam watched outside the window at the country that was passing by him. A few more days of this and he’d be where he needed to be. He’d find Killian and he’d do what needed to be done.

**_Post-Note: Hey all. So there we have it – a pretty busy chapter with a lot of reveals happening. I will say that the next few chapters we kind of move from everyone just talking about stuff to more action and doing so to speak, but that being said, the train stops here. I have not actually written any more chapters, and since school is still in full swing, I might not have the chance to write anything for some time (though my hope is to post again in a month with a new installment). Not to worry though because I have so many plans still for this fic and there is much more to come in this crazy (but somehow still fluffy) story. Hope you guys all enjoyed and would love to hear what you thought. Thank you all so much for reading and for all of your support and I hope you have a great rest of your week!!_ **


	16. Chapter 16

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So we are back after the LONGEST time away I have ever had from fic writing since I started way back when. I know it was such a long break, and so many of you have reached out to see if I am still in this, but I never forgot this story. I just had to pass the hardest year of school ever to get back to my CS happy place! There is so much going on in this story right now, so many pieces that need tying together or resolution on, and in this chapter we are moving full steam ahead (but since it’s been a while you might want to go back and refresh on where we left off before). There’s finally a meeting that so many have you have been waiting for and there’s love, loss, and so many other emotions too… but I won’t spoil much more than that. You’ll just have to read and then let me know what you think! Anyway thank you all so much for continuing to follow along in this story with me. Hope you enjoy!_ **

“Okay, so I know that technically I can do more than make flowers grow, but I have to be honest… this is so freaking cool, I never want to stop!”

The excitement exuding from Anna this afternoon as she and Elsa worked on some magical ‘training’ with Ruby was undeniable. Emma couldn’t blame Anna for that elation either, not when she was watching her friend do something remarkable and almost unbelievable. The beautiful garden that had been here just a few hours ago was now totally over grown, with so many more flowers than there had been before. The colors of their petals were also now touched with an ethereal element. They seemed to glow, and to radiate this precious golden light from within. The veins of each leaf swirled in a pronounced and gorgeous way, and these plants were simply bursting with life and energy and magic.

Over the past three days Anna and Elsa had been doing their best to make progress in their ability to wield their family gift. This had been a fatiguing process, with Ruby having to start from very basic places. There were rules, it turned out, about how to cast spells and use magic safely. One had to remember all of these steps to make sure no one got hurt, and though at times Anna was a little hyper active or distractible, Emma had never seen her friend more studious and focused. She was determined to access her magic and do everything she could with it, and that determination was bringing her leaps and bounds in a very short time. In fact, Ruby was so confident in Anna’s ability to test her gifts and to remember to follow the laws of magic that she’d given her free time to just explore what she could do, thus this impromptu garden party of sorts.

“It’s amazing, Anna. How does it feel?” Emma asked, having a sense herself as she felt the warm and subtle kiss of the magic in the air around them. Emma felt rejuvenated and calmed all at once by this magical display, so she could only imagine what casting the spells that made this possible felt like.

“It feels like…” Anna closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and soaking in the joy around her, and when she opened her eyes they were filled with emotion and a thoughtful quality that spoke to real happiness. “It feels like getting to lick the spoon when Grams makes cookies, or the first beach day with Mom and Dad every summer.”

“That good?” Emma asked, less as a question and more as a statement of awe and true joy for her friend.

“That good,” Anna agreed, her smile growing as her eyes cast around at all she’d created over the past few hours. But eventually her gaze turned back to the house and some of that happiness dimmed. It wasn’t fully gone, but now there was a little bit of sadness in the midst of all this celebration. “I only wish that Elsa felt this way too.”

“She’ll get there,” Emma promised, though she didn’t have visions of the future to check that that was true. All she had was a thorough understanding of her other best friend, and faith that soon the pieces would fall as surely into place for Elsa as they had for her sister. “You two are never far apart for long.”

“And where we go you usually follow,” Anna joked, making Emma laugh even though this time that couldn’t be the case.

“Unless you know of some mystical waters or whatever the heck sparked magical people years ago, where I could get a gift like yours, I’m not sure that’ll be happening this time. I think the flowers only have one new overlord to answer to.”

“Well of course your magic won’t be the same,” Anna said, like this whole conversation was so totally obvious. “But being a shifter? I mean come on, that’s arguably the coolest magic of all. You’ll get to turn into a wolf for crying out loud!”

 

At the mention of her suppressed shifter status Emma’s heart jumped. That seemed to be a recurring thing since her grandmother had turned up and dropped the bomb of all bombs. Well honestly, maybe the biggest reveal had been the fact that her grandmother was even alive at all, but looking past the magic that was required for all of this to be real, and the heartbreak of the years that Ruth and her Dad had been apart, the reality that there was shifter blood running through Emma's veins was surreal.

Being a hybrid, even if her ability was currently blocked, changed so much about what Emma knew of herself. It was a blessing and a curse in so many ways. On the one hand Emma was glad to have some things make more sense. The white wolf in her dreams all those years ago and that feeling that not everything was as it should be now made sense, but at the same time there was no guarantee that Elsa could even remove the block in Emma’s spirit as she had for Neal. Currently Elsa was trying to access those memories with Ruby, but it was slow going. And even if Elsa could recreate the spell, Emma had to think about if that’s what she wanted. It would no doubt be dangerous, and no one actually knew what happened when human/shifter hybrids came of age. She would be the first one as far as they all knew and she was so out of touch with her animal Emma didn’t even realize it was there when she was awake. So how could she ever expect to be a good shifter? How could she hope to learn all that needed to be learned? What if in the end she wasn’t meant to be one? What if -

“Uh oh, and there you go again, over thinking things,” Anna said, bringing Emma’s attention back to the real world. Anna’s hand was now on her hip and she shook her head in an almost chastising way. “You’ve got to stop doing that, Ems. Elsa is going to figure this out, she’s going to find a way to safely lift the block, and then you are going to _finally_ be all you were meant to be.”

Emma didn’t want to argue with her friend, but suffice it to say she wasn’t as convinced. Anna made it sound so simple, but in Emma’s mind it wasn’t. What she had right now was brilliant. Her life was full and happy. She had her family and her friends, and she had a true love, her fated mate, a man who made her experience love in the most blissful of ways. She didn’t want to risk any of that, and she didn’t want to go off hoping for more when what she had right now was more than enough. No one should be this lucky, despite the continued unrest that waiting for Liam was bringing, and Emma didn’t want to jinx things by feeling entitled to being a shifter too.

“It’s like me and my magic, Emma. When we found out, I was excited but I was also really scared. I kept thinking that everyone was wrong. There had to be a mistake, because it wasn’t me who was special it was Elsa.”

“Anna,” Emma said, her earnestness showing through in her tone. “Elsa might be special but so are you. You deserve your magic just as much as she deserves hers.”

“I know that, Emma, I do, but even if I know that, there’s still that voice in my head that doesn’t want to hear it, and I bet it sounds a lot like the one you have telling you that you’re not ready to be or worthy of being a shifter.”

Anna came over and took Emma’s hand in hers in a sign of solidarity. She was right, after all. Those negative thoughts did seem to be something they shared, and though she was nervous, Emma craved the chance to overcome hers just as Anna had.

“So how did you get over it?” Emma asked and Anna laughed.

“I didn’t. It’s still there sometimes, but I just have to tell it to shut up. Fear doesn’t want you to hope for good things, Emma. It wants you to limit yourself and deprive yourself of things that could be great just because they also could be scary. You can either cave to it or you can overcome it, and not so deep down you know that. And you know how I know that you know? Because you, Emma Nolan, are one of the bravest people I have ever met.”

Emma’s throat tightened at the words, and she could feel her friend’s own emotion starting to get the better of her. Anna’s feelings freely flowed in the air around them just as they always did. She was not the kind of person to stifle her reactions. Instead, she spoke the truth as she saw at, blowing Emma away as she did.

“There’s no one else who faces a crisis like you, Emma. You stay steady, even when everyone else breaks. You did it when we were kids and small scale things happened, like when the Heller boys decided to start bullying Elsa, or when someone had to scale the McNealy’s fence to get our ball back.”

Emma barked out a laugh, thinking about old Mr. McNealy and how he used to scare them senseless as kids. Now they knew he was just a curmudgeonly old guy, but back then he seemed like a real monster.

“And you did it when everything was happening with Neal. You had to take on so much far too soon, and you did it unflinchingly for your brother and for your parents. Then, when we lost Grams, and then lost Mom and Dad so soon after, you were there for us too. Night and day, no matter what, you were our rock. As much as Elsa and I pulled ourselves together, you were right there with us, and you never questioned it. It’s always a given to you that you’ll help everyone you love and anyone you meet.”

“Well when you put it like that…” Emma said, attempting some humor even though her voice was thick with emotion. She was touched at Anna’s words, and it came to a head when her friend pulled her in for a hug. The tears pooling in her eyes fell at that point, quietly but undeniable, and she had to wipe them away as she pulled back. “Thanks, Anna. And just for the record, I don’t think I have that calm in the storm thing all to myself.” 

“I know. It was a great pep talk wasn’t it?” Anna asked, prompting more laughter between the friends that continued until some rustling came from the hedgerow and Elsa and Ruby appeared.

“Seems like you two are having fun,” Elsa said, her eyes softening immediately as she saw Emma and Anna. There was still stress there, but Emma could see that Elsa felt better being back in their company.

“Well there’s plenty to go around,” Anna joked, flicking her wrist and launching an ivy vine up into the air and having it rustle against Elsa’s braided hair. “Unless you guys still have work to do. It’s kind of been a lot for one day, don’t you think?”

“About that… we’ve got some good news and some not so good news,” Ruby announced, her hands waving along as she talked, a trait Emma knew she and Killian shared when they were catching other people up to speed. “The good news is that we were able to access Elsa’s memory of when she helped Neal.”

“So you saw the spell?” Emma asked, looking between Ruby and Elsa. A chill zipped through her at their faces, because despite the breakthrough, neither of them seemed super enthusiastic. 

“We did,” Ruby continued. “Turns out Elsa did the impossible – she literally removed Neal’s two souls from his body to blend them back together.”

“Removed them... wait, like killed him?” Emma asked, shocked, and Elsa looked so stricken as she quickly explained.

“I didn’t kill him. It was just a few seconds. It happened really quickly. He just went to sleep for a second, that’s all.”

“But _technically_ without a soul a person is dead,” Ruby supplied. “And if they’re not, we’re entering vampire territory.”

“Vampires?!” The question was yelled out not just by Emma, but Anna and Elsa as well, and Ruby winced in response. 

“Sorry, bad joke. Vampires aren’t actually a thing. But then again removing souls from a body wasn’t supposed to be a thing either. So at this point…” Her continued attempt at light heartedness petered off as Ruby shrugged.

“But you can do it,” Emma said, looking to Elsa and her friend nodded.

“Apparently I can. I had no idea what I was doing then, and I can’t find anything in my family’s archives. It’s a mystery.” 

“Would you even be able to do it again?” Anna asked and Emma fully expected Elsa to say that she couldn’t, but for the first time Elsa looked certain as she nodded.

“Yes. I can do it.”

“ _Maybe_ ,” Ruby stressed. “She can _maybe_ recreate a miracle a second time, but I have to be honest guys, this is not magic I know how to wield. It’s a real risk. Anything could go wrong. Your souls could react badly, they could not blend, they could reject any kind of intervention at all, and if they did…”

“If they did, I could die.”

There was no need to say anything else on the matter for a moment. The four of them allowed Emma’s observation to hang in the air, sinking in in a sickening way. Life and death situations were something Emma had faced before, but she’d never willingly put herself in a dangerous way. To do so now would either be incredibly foolish or impossibly brave, and Emma wasn’t sure where she stood yet on that. On the one hand, she could be taking a huge risk only to lose everything she now held so dearly. On the other, this could be the answer to that last missing piece of the puzzle that was her life. Plus it would help not only her, but Neal as well who was going to be facing his first shift just a few more years from now.

“Whatever you decide, Emma, there’s no need to rush,” Anna said, finally breaking the silence that had fallen as she touched Emma’s arm in a reassuring motion. “It’s not like Elsa is going anywhere. We’ve got time to see what you might want.”

“Exactly,” Ruby said with a firm nod. “This isn’t the kind of thing we should be too hasty about. Let’s just tackle one thing at a time. Liam will be arriving any day now. Let’s climb that mountain before staring down another.”

The four of them agreed this was a good place to leave things, and Emma was relieved. Crazy that the impending arrival of Killian’s unknowable brother was of relief to her now when for days it had been so anxiety inducing. But for some reason, that felt like a battle that could be won. For this moment she was part of a team, it was her and Killian and her friends and family. She felt like anything could be accomplished as long as they were together, and she genuinely had hope in her heart that things weren’t as hopeless with Liam as Killian believed. But trying to heal her block… well that would just be her and Elsa trying to do something they had no real clue how to do, and that was scary as hell.

“Ruby, what’s wrong?”

Elsa’s sudden question prompted Emma to look to her new friend, immediately feeling a pang of anxiety again. Ruby was overly alert, and Emma had seen that kind of posturing before from Killian when he thought she was in trouble.

“We’ve got company.”

“Liam?” Emma and Elsa asked at the same time and Ruby shook her head. 

“No. I think I’d sense if it were Liam. No I just heard something. In the woods back there.”

The three friends turned to follow Ruby’s gaze, but Emma was shocked when Ruby moved forward towards the sound. She told them to stay back and she’d figure it out, but just as she moved out of sight, Emma, Elsa, and Anna heard a throaty chuckle that came from the opposite direction. They jumped in surprise and whipped their attention over and then Emma and her friends sighed aloud in relief.

“Graham, was that you?” Emma asked, and their town Sherriff grinned.

“Maybe.”

“It was him,” Anna said with an eye roll. “Well I hope you’re happy. You scared five years off my life. Not cool Graham.”

“Ruby it’s okay you can come out!” Emma called. “It’s just Graham. He’s harmless.”

“Oh you wound me, Emma. I like to think I could do some…”

Whatever words Graham was going to say trailed away as his eyes looked past Emma and back to the tree line. Without even having to peer over, Emma knew what he was staring at, or rather who he was staring at. The only person in that direction was Ruby and from Graham’s expression, this was more than a strictly ‘she’s hot’ reaction. Emma flipped her gaze to her new friend and sure enough, Ruby looked just as struck silly as Graham did.

“Ooh, look it’s happening again!” Anna whispered whisper-yelled gleefully. “Love struck, the two of them. It’s like Emma and Killian 2.0. I bet you guys a month of diner lunches that they’re fated mates too." 

Both Emma and Elsa refused to take the bet, instead watching (with totally no chill and no attempt at giving Graham and Ruby privacy) as the two shifters moved toward each other. Emma wondered what it must be like for them, but she had some idea. Killian had detailed to her what it felt like to be confronted with one’s other half if you were a shifter. Everything shifted focus and all of a person’s senses were heightened and needy. It was an instant force of lust and want and adoration. It was really love at first sight, and for most shifters it was just understood. There was no need for small talk or getting to know each other. Nature chose your perfect match, and time would prove that to be true. 

Because she knew this, it didn’t surprise Emma when Graham took Ruby’s hand in his and when his other hand came to cup her cheek. They were so close, eyes flashing a wolf’s color and they looked just a split second away from forgetting themselves entirely and making out or doing more. Surprisingly though, words did come, and though Emma and Elsa and Anna were totally forgotten, Ruby did seem to have the sense to ask some critical questions.

“But how did I… there’s no trace of you in town. I should have known about this - known about you.”

“Oh trust me, babe, Tink is going to be hearing quite an earful from me about this.”

“Babe?” Emma whispered to Elsa and Anna, half shocked at the word choice and half uncomfortable. In all her years of knowing Graham he had never, _ever_ , called anyone anything like that before.

“Tink?” Ruby asked, and Emma was really curious now about what having a mate meant for Ruby. There was a chance she was so overwhelmed with Graham that she wasn’t able to tap into her gifts, but this seemed like a relatively straightforward vision. Also, Emma was like ninety five percent sure Tink had been mentioned more than once. 

“Girl, she is so gone for him,” Anna said gleefully. “Oh! We should make popcorn!”

“Uh no,” Emma and Elsa said at the same time before Elsa continued on. “If anything we should leave them be. It’s only a matter of time before they start going at it, and we don’t need to be anywhere near seeing that.” 

Emma laughed at Elsa’s claims as Anna feigned a sigh. Obviously she wasn’t interested in spying on the intimate moments of two new mates, but Anna really did love love, and Emma knew her friend was hoping for more cuteness before any impending sexy times. But whatever any of them were expecting, it likely wasn’t what happened next. One second Ruby and Graham looked poised to run off together, and the next Ruby’s features changed and her eyes went hazy. It only lasted a moment but she jumped when it was over and she looked to be in actual pain. Graham moved with her, and though Ruby was still alarmed, Emma could see the slightest bit of comfort come form Graham still being there. Still it wasn’t enough to fully calm her, and what Ruby declared next sent ice rushing through Emma’s veins.

“He’s here. Liam’s here, and he just found Killian.”

_Shit!_

………………………………..

At times like this it was difficult for Killian to know if pacing was a product of habit or an animalistic urge.

There was evidence enough to suggest it could be his animal. Wolves were known for patrolling when they were contained, agitated, or ready to fight, but as the morning light shifted to a mid-day warmth, Killian’s pacing felt like more than that. True, he felt a little held captive; the anxiety of what was coming was getting to him and there might indeed be reason to fight. But this motion right now, this back and forth route in front of his new Storybrooke home, wasn’t caused by his brother or an impending battle: it was caused by a desire so strong it was starting to control him.

As the days passed by, Killian’s love for Emma only grew. Despite the full moon being long gone by now, he felt this continuing clawing need to be near his mate. It was difficult for him to be away from her, and it was damn near impossible when there was a threat not too far off. In fact, the only thing keeping him sane right now was that she was protected and surrounded by other people who loved her. Ruby was a more than capable shifter who had made it very clear that she considered Emma family in the realest kind of way, and with her visions she should see any danger for Emma before it got here. They had been spotty as of late, with larger blind spots than she was used to, but both Killian and Ruby were certain that when the time for Liam’s arrival actually came, Ruby would know of it. That, coupled with Anna and Elsa’s new gifts, was enough to keep Killian from trailing Emma all afternoon and trying to protect her himself.

The fierceness of his need to see Emma safe was one of the strongest things he’d ever experienced, second only to his love for her, and carrying around such immensity of emotion made Killian eager to shift and to run and howl. He’d allowed himself the first two so far this morning already, but eventually he’d been called back to human form and to the house again. Connecting with his wolf right now just didn’t seem to hold all of the power that it once did for his peace of mind, and Killian was relatively certain he knew why. For underneath all of that protective instinct, and beyond the anticipation of seeing his brother again, there was something else clawing at Killian, something he wanted to do so badly but kept having to keep himself in check over.

Opening the small black box that held a symbol of his hopes for he and Emma, Killian looked down again at his grandmother’s ring, his eyes catching the way the precious gem sparkled in the light. It looked just the same as it always had, a classic and beautiful ornament, now fitted to Emma to perfection, and designed to show the world how tied up they were together. It was a testament to love, a symbol that, if she said yes, the two of them would be wed. And even though he knew that’s what Emma wanted, seeing as she’d already agreed to be his mate, it still made his heart sputter in his chest to think of asking her. He knew that he wanted that moment to be perfect. Emma deserved everything from flowers to candlelight. She deserved ambiance and the undeniable truth that he loved her more than anything. She deserved a story, one they could tell forever and look back at with pride. But even though he knew what should be done, it was killing Killian not to just do this now. He hated waiting. His patience was all but fried, and every day that he spent not working towards that forever with Emma hurt him more than he could say.

But here was where it all came back full circle. Because the reality was he couldn’t create that moment. He couldn’t give Emma those things when he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. All of them were anticipating the arrival of his brother and the showdown that would come, and until that was faced and dealt with Killian couldn’t do what he wanted most. It would be too selfish on his part, and he already had regrets about how things had gone with Emma already. Not their being together surely, for he could regret nothing about having Emma in his life and in his heart. But he wished that things could have been a little less harried. Emma was strong and determined. She would stand tall through whatever storm came their way, but he wished she didn’t have to. That essence of normalcy that she was craving? Truth was he craved it too. If they could just have a little bit of peace and quiet to enjoy all that they’d found it would be miraculous. But it seemed too much to ask the universe to have such a brilliant mate and a bit of time to truly enjoy his good fortune.

_You’re going to wear a patch in the grass, Killian._

He heard the words in his head and they were said with the loving chastisement that only his mother had ever truly been able to capture. He closed his eyes and stopped, inhaling the fresh air around him and breathing out again. It was rare for him to do this anymore, to hear his mother’s voice as he went about his life. He’d shut off the part that was open to her and her goodness so long ago. When he trained to confront his father, he stifled that old connection. He shut down the little voice inside his head that reminded him what was good and right. But since he’d found Emma and tried to separate himself from that old life of revenge, he was more and more susceptible to it again. That susceptibility was both beautiful and painful. On the one hand he swore he could hear his mom right now. He could picture her in his minds’ eye shaking her head at him with a smile at her lips. But he knew when he opened her eyes she wouldn’t be here. There would just be more waiting and more agonizing over what was next.

“Bloody hell, Liam, I wish you would just get here already and be done with it.” 

The words were gruff as he spoke them aloud, nearly yelling with the ferocity of his agitation. He kept his eyes closed and tried to center himself again, but before he could a voice by the tree line responded to him.

“Wish granted.”

Careful not to make any sudden movements, Killian pivoted to where he heard his brother’s voice and looked at him for the first time in so many years, seeing that it was in fact Liam there, and not just some figment of his imagination.

A few seconds passed where Killian allowed himself to take his brother in, and though he was surprised at how clean cut and together Liam still seemed to be, he didn’t let any of that show. If this reunion was going to be anything like last time then he was in for a hell of a fight, but there was a real need for Killian to control himself. Even on the night he was first infected, the bite had made it so Liam was out of control and unable to resist his baser urges. To counteract that, Killian had to be smart. It was the only way to handle this and to see that he, Emma, and the rest of their friends and family were okay. Still, looking at Liam now was like a stab to the heart, for though all this time had passed, he still looked as he always had, and Killian swore he saw a mix of sadness and also love in his brother’s eyes, despite everything.

“It’s been a long time, little brother,” Liam said, filling the space between them with words that were charged in a way Killian couldn’t understand. There was no anger there. No resentment. Just longing and a little bit of pain. “You look different.”

“I am different,” Killian replied. His muscles flexed slightly, and though he hoped to hide it from Liam, Killian watched as his brother tracked the movement. Liam didn’t reply in kind though, instead siding with continued conversation as he moved a bit closer.

“Ah yes. A mate’s love will do that, or at least that’s what they tell me.” 

Now Killian couldn’t help tensing up. He didn’t like it at all that his brother had mentioned Emma, even in the abstract. It was too close for comfort, but when Killian let out a low growl, Liam only laughed. It was a barked out sound, one that made it seem like Liam hadn’t had cause to laugh in a long time, but it calmed something inside of Killian. It wasn’t threatening. If anything, Liam seemed to be enjoying himself. That was unexpected, but it didn’t feel aggressive and that was something to be grateful for.

“Relax, brother. I didn’t come here for her.”

“Then why did you come?” Killian asked, wanting to believe Liam, but knowing that the bite would change any man and that it had already started to change Liam years ago. 

“So it’s like that then,” Liam sighed. “Straight to the point. No conversation after all this time? No soft landing?”

“Why bother putting it off? You’re here, and we both know why.”

“I’m not so sure we do,” Liam replied thoughtfully. “I’ve thought of this moment every day since that night. I thought of what I’d say when I saw you again, and damn if I can bring myself to say any of that now. It all seems… not enough.”

“Well why don’t we start with the basics. This control you’re displaying. Is that… permanent?”

“Much as I might like to say yes, I can’t do that. For all my flaws, lying is something I still can’t abide by.”

Killian’s stomach fell at the confession from his brother. It was confusing to say the least, because on the one hand Liam didn’t seem to be doing anything that would signal that he or his wolf wanted to fight. There was no display of dominance, no call to contest. To Killian that signaled that maybe Emma’s more wishful thinking was right. Perhaps Liam was here to make amends and to make things right, as crazy as that seemed, but confessing that he wasn’t actually in control scared Killian. He’d seen the flip switched in his brother before. It was terrible to behold and if Liam couldn’t stop it then it was only a matter of time before Killian bore witness to that beast again.

“So the sickness. You haven’t cured it?”

“No,” Liam replied, his acceptance of his condition heart wrenching to hear. “I am what I am now. A monster, a beast, an abomination: you can call me whatever you like, but the curse remains.”

Killian allowed that truth he already knew to soak in. Again he’d been hopeful, and again his hope was thwarted. Of course Liam was still burdened with this blackness. There was no escaping it, but still it killed Killian to hear it. Listening to his brother berating himself, calling himself a monster – a beast – it was terrible, and yet Killian couldn’t contradict him. He knew nothing of Liam anymore. He knew the man he had been, but what was to say that man truly remained? He appeared to be here, but appearances weren’t enough to build trust on. They couldn’t be, not when the stakes were so high.

“You never were good at covering your emotions, brother,” Liam said wistfully, his eyes studying Killian intently. “I can see it all practically jumping off of you. Love. Wariness. Sadness. Fear. Crazy you stayed hidden all these years. You’d think so much energy would be easier to track.” 

The mention of tracking put Killian on alert again. There was the reminder he needed that this wasn’t a one off. Liam wasn’t here for a casual visit. He’d been hunting for Killian for years and Killian had known it. He’d lived off the grid as much as he could. He never built a life, never had roots. Hell, he never had dreams of any kind for years and years to stay ahead of that search. His life had been hellish, and that hell was in no small part because there was always the threat of Liam just waiting to take him down.

“What can I say? Ruby’s a powerful witch.”

“Ah she always was. Little Red,” Liam said with another strange laugh. “Remember when we called her that as kids? God she hated that.” 

Killian was thrown by the tenderness Liam displayed for Ruby. This whole exchange was honestly giving him whiplash. One moment his brother was kind and trying to connect, the next he was poking Killian with the reminders of the threat he posed. It was confounding and confusing, and it made the wolf inside scratch at the surface, trying to fight this out instead of lingering in whatever strange game Liam was playing here. 

“Ruby isn’t the reason you came either. So let’s get on with it. Why are you here, Liam?” 

“I’m here because I have to be. We had to meet again. You made sure of it that night.”

“I spared you that night, Liam. I…” Killian trailed off before reiterating the thought, because honestly he wasn’t so sure that’s what he’d done. Had he spared Liam? Or had he just damned his brother to so many more years of this descent into madness?

“You made a choice, a choice that speaks to who you are, brother. You could have killed me, but you didn’t. You couldn’t. It could have all been over. You could have been free, but instead you chose another path. This path, and now we have to face it.” 

The ominous words hung in the field between them and Killian didn’t know what to say. Liam was right after all, at least in a way. He hadn’t been capable of killing Liam. There just wasn’t that option, and because of that there had been the risk and that sinking sensation that followed Killian all these years that they’d meet again. But while his brother was resigned and yet also strangely unreadable, Killian was resolute. Things wouldn’t end the same way twice. There were too many other people who needed protecting, and too much more to live for now than there had been years ago.

“I’m sorry, Killian. I’m sorry for that night, and for any night you’ve faced since that you worried about me. I’m more sorry than you can ever imagine. I would have done anything to spare you that.”

_Wait… what?_

“You’re sorry,” Killian repeated, his mind reeling from the truth he heard in Liam’s out of the blue words. “But you’ve come here to kill me.”

“So you keep suggesting,” Liam replied, his eyes taking on a little humor again. 

“And what are _you_ suggesting, Liam? I realize this is all some big game to you, but frankly I don’t want to play. I never did, so if you’ve come to fight me, fight me.” 

“You know I thought this would be different, our last time together,” Liam said, his voice a wistful whisper, as it sailed across the breeze to Killian’s ears. “I should have known, even if I hoped for something more. But let me cut to the chase. I came to -,”

The snap of a branch in the woods very close to them claimed both brothers’ attention, and when Killian saw it was Tink his feelings were mixed. There was relief, but also dread. He couldn’t exactly explain why, but the reason would show itself soon enough. 

“I caught a new scent in town and thought you might need backup,” Tink said, but her usual confidence was cowed in an instant when a fierce growl sounded out so loudly that it shook the ground around them.

Killian whipped his head back to look at his brother, but Liam was gone and all that remained was the beast in man’s clothing. His eyes were like coal, his face was snarled, his stance was poised for shifting. Liam heaved for breath, his anger rolling off of him, and just like that the nightmare Killian had been reliving for years was with him once more. Whatever soft hearted moment had just occurred was over. The talking was done, the dancing was finished, and now it was time to face this twisted fate once and for all...

**_Post-Note: Okay I know I know I left this on a cliffhanger and I am terrible! BUT I have some pretty great news – the next chapter of this story is already mostly written and I will be posting it sometime in the next week or so! I should probably space it out more since the rest of the chapters aren’t completed yet, but trust me – you will all want to see the conclusion of what happens between Killian and Liam. Anyway thank you all so much for your patience and your continued support. Hope you’re all doing well, and hope you’ll tune in next time!!_ **


	17. Chapter 17

**_A/N: Hey all! I am so glad to be back after just a week away this time, especially because I really want to get you all this resolution. I would have loved to have this chapter and the last one be just one installment, but I hit like 10,000 words and still had more to say so it just wasn’t meant to be. I hope you’ll forgive me once you read this part though, and I am so excited to see what you all think! Also, just in case it isn’t clear, there are three distinct POVs in this chapter (Killian, Liam, and Emma). Thanks as always for reading and hope you enjoy!_ **

Witnessing the form of any man be overcome by a monster was a soul rattling thing. It chilled the blood and froze the mind, paralyzing it with anxiety and fear. But to see one’s brother go through such a horrifying change was something else all together.

For a moment, Killian caved to that panic as he watched the way his brother’s eyes flashed a hellish black and how the tension in Liam’s limbs made the lines of his body horrible and gruesome. The snarl on his face shouldn’t have been possible. No expression should convey so much hate and malice, and the growl that emanated from Liam’s chest was simultaneously low and yet sharp and scratchy. It made Killian wince, as if Liam had scraped his claws down a chalkboard, but despite the survival instincts in Killian’s head that told him to run, he stayed strong. It only took a moment for him to collect himself, to remind his now skittish animal of all he had to fight for and how nothing, not even his worst nightmare made real, would deter him from that. Killian had to protect the people he loved, and more than anything he had to fight with all he had to see his mate and his true love protected for now and always.

In seconds Killian readied himself for battle, crouching low, with every intention of shifting. His wolf was nearly at the forefront of his mind, his body just a hair away from transforming, but just before he did the monster in front of him went from totally controlling his brother to essentially disappearing. Liam physically stumbled, his body bending over as he shook his head with tremendous force, and when he looked up again his real eyes stared back at Killian, the deep darkness from before now gone. Liam was nearly normal again, though clearly had used a large amount of energy to fight back. But how? And more importantly, why?

“It’s like I said, before. The monster remains. There’s no shaking it.”  
  
“But you’re trying to fight it,” Killian acknowledged and Liam nodded.

“Yes. I have tried everything I can to suppress it since that night. The night you spared me.”

“I might not know many details about what happened to you after our fight, brother, but I do know you stayed with the pack,” Killian bit out, his own resentment at that not hidden in the slightest. He’d thought it was a terrible idea then, and he still believed it to be so now. He had no idea how Liam would have ever rectified the want to suppress his inner demon with staying in that toxic place they once called home. “So it doesn’t add up. You fought darkness, but lingered in it too.” 

“That night…” Liam paused for a moment as he tried to find the words for how everything had gone down. “That night I was unhinged and unwell, but I wasn’t fully gone, not like you thought I was. That instinct to stay with the pack – it wasn’t all the bite talking. That had always been my plan, since the moment we set out to kill Brennan.”

“You never told me that,” Killian said, not believing it even if part of him wondered if it could be true. Had Liam always wanted to return to the pack? Maybe, but the thought, even in hindsight, was so abhorrent to Killian he couldn’t fully comprehend it.

“Of course I didn’t. You never would have supported that idea. You were of one mind. All you could focus on was finding justice for Mum, and I knew there would be no discussion on the subject. I had hoped after everything was done that maybe you’d see. Maybe killing our father would free you from all your hatred of the past. Maybe you’d feel as I did, that our life back there was more than evil and power and greed. There was still good in where we came from. It just had to be nurtured and fought for.”

“Sounds like bullshit,” Tink said, her words reminding both brothers that she was still here, something Killian had already forgotten.

“It’s true,” Liam reaffirmed, his aggravation growing, but his eyes remained a steady cerulean as he looked at Tink. “I always planned to rid the ugliness from our past, and from our family.”

“Oh sure, that’s possible,” Tink said with a dismissive wave of her hand, “Hell, I’d say it’s even likely, seeing as you’re related to Killian, who does everything he can to be a good guy. But that bite should have changed everything. If you _really_ wanted to make things better, you should have known you weren’t the man to do it. You were compromised, and you clearly still are.” 

“I did know I wasn’t the one to truly make things right,” Liam confessed. “And despite knowing I still tried anyway because I was selfish. I fooled myself into thinking I would be okay. When Killian left, the beast inside me calmed a hell of a lot. He never truly went away, but he was quieter, less agitated. I hovered above the monster, and I did what needed doing. I got rid of the old guard, all of the pack who supported Brennan -,”

“They all supported him, Liam. Every last one of them,” Killian spat out and Liam shook his head.

“No, not all of them. They didn’t support him; they endured him. The fear we felt wasn’t ours alone to shoulder. There were many others stuck in the same torturous cycles, hoping for escape without finding it. Mothers scared for their cubs, fathers who knew that defecting from the pack would put a mark on them and their families forever. Brennan was ruthless and he hated nothing more than disloyalty. Everyone was trapped, and just because they all didn’t show the bravery of our mother doesn’t mean they all deserved to be condemned.”

Killian remained quiet. He knew that at some level Liam was right. The cubs were absolutely without guilt, for none of them could choose the pack they were born to or the rules of their clan. And yes, Killian remembered that there was fear beyond his own little world. People got quiet around his father, and the women especially made sure never to linger too long in his presence. It was always a place filled with whispers and walking on eggshells. Still, Killian knew that even if the bite hadn’t come between them he never would have stayed. Some might say Killian wasn’t strong enough to face the past. They might think he lacked honor for not going and rebuilding what was broken, but Killian didn’t see it as his duty to fix what his father had created. He wanted no part of Brennan’s legacy, and if he’d been forced to face it he’d have disbanded the clan and told every single member that they’d be better off starting over somewhere without all the baggage and heartbreak.

“I know you think the pack should have dissolved, and there’s merit to that thinking, but what you failed to see was that as much pain as the pack brought, the pack was also family. For better or worse, it was all most of them ever knew, and breaking that bond is painful. It’s like leaving a part of yourself behind forever. You never felt that when we were kids, but I did, and I knew how much it hurt and how badly I wished it never happened. I didn’t want to take anything more from anyone, so I tried to heal the hurts instead.”

“And how did that work?” Killian asked skeptically.

“It was slow going, but there was steady progress. A few years in and we’d discharged all of the remaining dissenters. Brennan’s core backers were gone, and the members that remained began to believe that more might be possible for the first time in a long time. We set new rules, we cleansed the laws of the pack, and we started to build something everyone could be proud of.”

“Sounds like a fairy tale,” Tink joked and Liam winced. 

“Hardly. Much as I tried to deny it, I was still sick. I could play at being healed all I wanted, hell I even fooled myself into thinking I was still on solid ground. I told no one I was infected, and I lived for a long time like nothing was wrong. But it wasn’t that simple. I might have been caging my animal, but I was still feeding it every day. I made all of them rely on me. I amassed substantial power as alpha, both within our pack and outside it, even if it wasn’t through fear as Brennan had. I was in total command and that soothed the beast which lusted for control, but all it took was one moment to show me how wrong I was in thinking that I could ever overcome this.”

“What happened?”

“What always happens in pack life: an outsider came and challenged me, thinking he stood a chance to take what I’d,” Liam stalled, shaking his head and changing his wording purposefully. “What _we_ had been building.”

“That’s not so unusual,” Tink said, though her nose scrunched up slightly in a show of disgust. “Well not for wolves anyway. You’re all so abrasive, that just comes with the territory.” 

The joke fell flat though Killian knew in another situation he’d have laughed. Tink’s thoughts on other shifters were usually entertaining to him, but the look of regret in Liam’s eyes told Killian his brother’s dark deed had crossed a line. He could only imagine what that might have been like.

“A challenge is normal, yes, but there are customs now. We don’t fight to the death like the wolves of old. We fight until surrender or until one side can’t fight anymore. We aren’t supposed to see an attacker and think that the only way forward is draining the life from them. We aren’t supposed to welcome that kind of fight while vehemently resenting anyone for trying to stake a claim. Our animal shouldn’t crave cruelty or demand death.”

“But yours did.”

“Aye. Looking back it’s like someone else’s memory, but that fight… hell it was worse than ours ever had the chance to be. I was ruthless. I’d won the match ten times over, but the bite had me taunting and tormenting my opponent. I wouldn’t just have killed him. This was torture. This was blood sport…” Liam said, his eyes haunted and his shame written clear as day on his face. “It took every member of the pack to get me back from the depths of my demons, and even then they couldn’t fully stop me. I was possessed, consumed with this evil need. I was seconds away from finally killing him, but the ruckus of the pack distracted me, enough that I saw my reflection in the creek. My eyes were worse than black…”  
  
“They were shattered,” Killian said, knowing the way his father had looked when they fought him, and remembering how ungodly the sight was.

“They were on the edge, the fragments were forming. The last pieces of my soul were withering away far faster than I imagined, and only in seeing that could I find a way to stop. And the only way to stop was to leave, so I ran.”

“Wait, you left?” Killian asked, shocked that after everything Liam would have ever left the pack for any length of time.

“I had to. I was stricken with the wants of the sickness for days. I couldn’t shift back to human form, all I could do was run, trying to exhaust myself and keep myself from turning back and finishing the job. Finally I passed out from the lack of food and water and sleep, but even then, when the fog of it all lifted I knew I couldn’t return. I called my second in command, and I told him I was done. The beast in me was too much, and I had to save the little control I have left for something more important. I had to save it for you, Killian. I had to try and mend things between us the best I could after everything that’s happened. I’m only glad you’ve found your happiness when you did, so Ruby’s block could be lifted and I could get here in time. It’s been over a year and each day I searched in vain, knowing I was never really close and would likely never find you. So you see, you finding your mate isn’t just your miracle, but mine too.”

Killian allowed that to sink in, and finally he accepted that Liam was really trying to do the right thing. This wasn’t a trick or a game. It was a genuine attempt by his elder brother to make amends. That was more than Killian had ever dared to dream of, but in accepting this to be fact Killian also realized that his brother’s words all pointed to a sadness he could not comprehend. Liam wasn’t here to hurt him, but he was here to say goodbye, and that goodbye was going to be a final one.

“So you mean to tell me that you withstood the bite for years, rebuilt the pack, overcame the beast again and have been tirelessly tracking me in the hopes of saying you’re sorry?”

“You’ve colored the story in my favor by putting it that way, but yes. It will never be enough, but I am sorry, Killian. I’m sorry for all of it. I miscalculated with Brennan even though we’d trained so hard. He never should have bit me in the first place, but I fucked up and he did. Then I caved so quickly to the crazy impulses this sickness brings, only to put you in the most impossible position. I can never take back that night, but if I could I truly would. More than anything though I want you to know that I tried. I tried to be the man you still believed was in me when you spared my life. I tried to be a man you and Mum could be proud of. I tried as long as I could.” 

“And so now what, it’s just over? You’re giving up?” Tink asked, her own hard exterior defenses softening as she grappled with the self-sacrifice Liam was planning to make.

“There’s no other way. I can’t live with this beast without succumbing to it,” Liam confessed, his resigned manner making Killian’s heart ache even more. “I’m a threat to everyone I meet. It’s barely restrained. The monster keeps rising closer and closer to the surface. Seeing you right now is the work of so much time, brother, and it’s all I ever wanted, but the pain I feel at holding onto everything is almost blinding. Frankly it’s miraculous I’ve held on this long. Soon enough the dam will break, and when it does I’ll be gone, and you and the people you care about here will be in real danger. So I have to stop that from happening. I can’t become what our father was. I won’t.” 

“So you’ll die a hero then, a man who overcame to spare the rest of us. Because that’s what you’re saying. You’re saying you have to die. That you have to…” Killian couldn’t even form the rest of the terrible words, instead leaving the implication hanging in the air around them.

“It’s the only way.”

“I don’t believe that,” Killian said. “I might have bought that before. If you found me even a few months ago I would have been jaded enough to do so, but now… there’s too much good in the world for this to end like this Liam. There’s hope that lives here, hope like we’ve never known before, hope you deserve to feel.”

“Your mate, you love her,” Liam said and Killian nodded, now not distressed at Liam’s casual mention of Emma or at the thoughtful smile that formed on Liam’s face. “She’s your light and your hope, just like Mum used to say a mate should be, and I’m happy for you, brother, happier than you’ll ever know. I only wish I had the chance to meet the woman who could be so much to my favorite person.”

“ _Killian_!”

The call from Emma that sounded through the woods at this most opportune time caused Killian to move forward, soon enough she appeared at the tree line with Ruby, Elsa, and Anna, and when she did Killian could see her fierce want to be with him and to protect him. She didn’t realize that he didn’t need protection, but at least now Liam could see the light that he had guessed at previously. He could have one wish granted in the end.

As he was thinking that though, Liam surprised Killian by springing towards Emma and her friends, and Killian’s good thoughts evaporated at the perceived threat. Liam moved with lightening speed, charging in Emma’s direction and Killian matched his pace, acting on instinct until he’d come to stand right before his love, protecting her as best he could, but then he realized it wasn’t Emma Liam had in his sights, it was Elsa. The expression on Liam’s face was torn and in flux, his eyes flashed between blue and the brilliant color of a healthy wolf, but all of his attention was settled on Emma’s best friend. One moment he was joyous, the next confused, and concerned. His actions were strange and almost unknowable, but then Killian realized something: Elsa must truly matter to Liam. She must call to him, and intrigue him in a way that he couldn’t control himself. She must be…

……………

_My mate!_

The words repeating over and over in his head the moment Liam laid eyes on the fair-haired beauty before him were undeniable, and even stranger they were said in the tone of his wolf pre-sickness. The demons that had taken up residence in his mind the past few years were silent, and all there was to focus on was this impossibly beautiful woman.

For a few beats of his heart, Liam experienced a rush of yearning and rightness. For the first time in years he felt like he had a chance at being whole and at being more than okay again. Acting on instinct he moved toward this familiar stranger, pulled by something stronger than gravity to be closer in her orbit. He barely even took in the others in her presence. Ruby was there, and he spared her the same fleeting glance that he gave to the other two women. One was clearly Killian’s mate, as his brother had charged to stand in front of her in a show of protection, but Killian’s face wasn’t animated with anger. Instead he looked perplexed and then a small smile began to tug at his lips as understanding dawned on him. Liam didn’t have time to make heads or tails of that; all he wanted was to get to his angel – his mate.

“Liam, stop!” Ruby said fiercely, putting her body between him and the woman he wanted so badly and Liam felt a growl growing in his chest, but he ultimately halted in his tracks. He met his cousin’s eyes, which were slightly clouded in that familiar way that said she was here in this moment while also receiving one of the visions she’d been having since childhood. When it had passed Liam growled low again, not liking the distance from his new found other half, and though Ruby seemed more relaxed than a moment ago, her fear had shifted to annoyance very quickly. “Seriously, quit it or you’ll scare her.”

“Uh, isn’t that the point?” one of the other women whispered. Looking at her, Liam could see some similarities between this woman and his blue-eyed beauty. They must be related somehow, but Liam’s gaze only stayed with her a moment before returning to his impossible dream again. “He’s the bad guy, remember?”

“He’s not,” his mate said sternly, speaking for the first time in his presence. Her voice rang out with indescribable melody, and each word, each subtle intonation lapped at his very soul like a gentle wave on the shore. 

Her eyes didn’t demure in any way as he continued to stare her down, instead she met his gaze head on, and the emotion that he saw in those crystal blue pools nearly knocked him over. She was already fierce in her want to protect him and defend him despite not knowing him at all, and God he could just see how sweet and pure she was. Her hair was so light it could hardly be real, and though she’d tied it back in a tidy, elegant braid, Liam longed to see it set free. So many little dreams passed before his eyes – flashes of what he wanted with her, of what he wished could be. He never imagined anything like her before, he longed to reach out and touch her and to hold her close. She was sunlight in the midst of so much shadow, but he’d never deserve her, and he knew rationally that they could never be together, even if he’d never wanted anything more.

“I am though, love. And this… it can’t happen. I can’t be here,” Liam murmured. The realization was worse than anything he’d ever felt. He’d do all of life’s most terrible moments over again a million times to avoid this fate. He’d give anything to have things be different, but they weren’t. He was broken, and though he didn’t even know her name, Liam knew he’d never subject this angel to the burdens that he carried.

“You can,” his mate replied, her eyes holding so much softness even in the face of his brusque attempt at cold.

“Elsa?” The woman who clearly belonged with Killian looked for guidance and more clarification from his mate, and Liam rejoiced at hearing her name for the first time. _Elsa_ – so unique and uncommon, just like her.

“It’s all right, Emma. It’s going to be okay,” Elsa said before looking back to him and speaking directly to him again. “You’re going to be okay.”

“No, I’m not. It’s – God it’s a sick joke! I live long enough to find you, but I can’t have you.”

“Yes you can. I can help you,” Elsa said, her voice lilting with the same calm and warmth despite the fact that his own was edging towards full-blown despair.

“Help him?” Ruby asked, her face giving every hint that her visions weren’t serving her as well as she wanted right now. She couldn’t read the future that his mate seemed so certain of, but without even hearing the details, Liam felt himself start to believe this remarkable woman. He knew nothing of Elsa, but at the same time he knew everything, and if she believed then he would to. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I can heal him,” Elsa announced, totally and completely assured of herself.

“How?” Everyone except for Liam asked at the same time, and then Elsa smiled as she very clearly replied.

“Because I’m his mate.”

“MATE?!” the girl who looked like Elsa asked exuberantly. “Did you just say mate? Did my sister just say mate?!”

“Yes, Anna, I said mate,” Elsa said, her own happiness bubbling up into a tinkling laugh that sounded out like the chimes of a bell.

Liam’s chest filled with pride at her claiming him like this, and he knew he’d never felt such joy in his life. That she would feel all he felt for her was incredible, and that she could see past the darkness that he was… well it was the best thing that had ever happened in his life. It was only topped by the moment that his Elsa stepped forward, finally taking his hand in hers. At the contact he was overcome with elation in a way that defied description. All he knew was one moment he was a jumble of feelings and the next he was truly peaceful. For the first time in a long time all his monsters were at bay, and he felt anchored even as he reveled in this taste of true freedom. Then he watched as a swirl of light began to emanate from her. It was magic, raw, powerful light magic, and he felt it seep into him, warming him through and making him feel like more than he’d ever been, even before the bite.

“See what I mean?” Elsa whispered so quietly he was sure only he could here. “We can handle this. We’ll figure this out together.” 

“Together,” Liam mused as his hands pulled her closer so she was flush against his body. “Got to say I love the sound of that.”

And though they’d only just met, and their journey together was still as new as new could be, Liam felt euphoric when his mate moved upwards to press a kiss to his lips. As crazy as this was, and as sudden as the shift had been from all hope being lost to every dream coming true, Liam wouldn’t have it any other way. Lost in the love he already felt coursing through him for her, he allowed the weight of his world to slip away, and as long as he had Elsa by his side, he knew there were no more beasts and no more demons that could ever be successful in holding him down.

……………

“So this hasn’t gone exactly as expected,” Emma commented as the rest of them watched Elsa and Liam connecting closer to the middle of the field. They were caught up in a heated kiss, but what was truly awe-inspiring was the flow of magic all around them. You could see it and feel it all around them, and without even needing to be told of any set plans or remedies, Emma knew her friend was right when she said she’d be the one to heal Killian’s brother.

To be honest though, this was quite literally one of the last things Emma ever could have anticipated. Even if she had believed that there was a chance that Liam might still be savable, she couldn’t have ever expected that his savior would be Elsa or that her best friend would find the same kind of true love in an instant as Emma and Killian had. It was a truly remarkable thing, and as she watched Liam and Elsa’s embrace she felt her eyes grow misty. This was such a blessing for so many reasons, not the least of which was that Killian would have one of the most important people in his life back. Finally after so long so many of his old hurts could heal, and in the process Elsa would hopefully find her own happily ever after, which Emma knew she absolutely deserved.

“No, love. I think it’s safe to say this has gone completely off the rails.” 

“In a good way though,” Emma joked and Killian laughed, pressing a light kiss to her lips. 

“Aye, in the best way. My brother has returned, Elsa is confident that she can heal him, and it turns out ther are fated mates. Who would believe it?”

“Well while we’re on the subject of mates, the new sheriff is making my wolf act up. Could be nothing but -,”

Before Ruby could get the words out a growl sounded from the woods, and Emma looked over to see a giant wolf at the tree line. It was clear the wolf had been there for some time, and Emma had to assume this was Graham. Even though she’d been around shifters more and more the past few weeks, it was still an amazing thing to see. These animals were gorgeous and different and huge, and yet it was still totally Graham. Emma couldn’t explain it, there was just something about the way this wolf carried himself. Well that and the way that he was _not_ pleased with Ruby underselling their connection, which was admittedly hilarious. Still, there was so much happening here, Emma couldn’t help shaking her head in continued disbelief. 

“That doesn’t sound like ‘nothing,’” Anna said gleefully. “In fact, it sounds like this might just be my favorite day ever!”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally here for the surprise love fest,” Tink replied as she stuck her thumb out in Graham’s general direction, “Especially if it means seeing this guy find someone after years of telling me he never would. You owe me a hundred bucks by the way, Humbert.”

Graham’s wolf made what was probably the animal equivalent of an amused snort, which caused everyone to laugh, except for Ruby who rolled her eyes in feigned annoyance. 

“Oh what, like it’s hard to be fated for me?” Her words were barely out of her mouth and Graham had shifted back, holding her close and making her gasp as he leaned in to reassure her.

“Easiest thing I’ve ever done, babe. Count on that.” The words, corny as they sounded to Emma, made Ruby swoon, which in turn seemed to set off Elsa and Liam and even she and Killian.

“Okay, cool it cowboy. It’s been like ten minutes and there are other people present,” Tink said, sternly reminding the couples that now was not the time or place. “Like I was saying, this absolutely beats a battle to the death. But I gotta ask… are we actually out of the woods here? Is Liam safe to be around or to even have in town for that matter?”

“He’s safe,” Elsa and Ruby said at the same time and Emma felt the last of Killian’s tension leave him as he exhaled at their assurances.

“So it’s over then? That’s it?” Emma asked, her whole attitude brightening at the thought that this great daunting doom that had hung over them so long was finally through. Now she and Killian could get on with the whole settling in and building a life together thing, something that she was definitely ready for. And more than that, Liam not being a threat meant all of them were safe now. Her family could stop worrying, and her friends could rest easy. In short, this was a spectacular turn of events.

“Well I wouldn’t say it’s over,” Anna acknowledged with a wave of her hand. “It seems to me that it’s really only beginning. Plus if you think we’re ending this and I don’t get a fated match too then you’re crazy. I’ll be patient, but I will be finding true love, you hear me?” 

It was impossible not to laugh at Anna’s words, and Emma tucked herself into Killian as she did, loving the rumble of his laughter as it moved against her at Anna’s antics. Closing her eyes for a brief moment Emma allowed herself to just take this all in. The sun was shining, the breeze was gentle as it moved through the glen, and the air around them crackled with that sense of rightness that Emma usually only felt when she and Killian were alone and trying to forget the world. That she could feel this with everyone was a gift, and Emma knew this was a turning point; it just had to be.

“Well, I think there’s really only one question left to ask,” Tink said with a look of pure amusement on her face. “Who’s telling the Nolans?”

“Not it!” Emma, Anna, and Elsa all chimed at the same time, but before they could debate amongst themselves who would deliver the updates to her parents, her mother’s voice interrupted over the static of the radio that no one had noticed until just now.

_“Hey, I heard that! Oh shoot I forgot to say over. I heard that, over.”_

Tink looked shocked and Emma knew that this wasn’t some elaborate prank. Tink was genuinely unaware that Mary Margaret had been listening in. They were all astounded, well all of them except Graham who immediately looked embarrassed. He motioned to the radio he’d been wearing and finally seemed to notice it had been set to on this whole time, even when he’d been in wolf form.

“That’s my bad. I gave her the extra radio at the station yesterday. Figured it would be the best way to keep them in the loop. I didn’t realize it was on all this time.”

“Was it really though?” Emma asked, knowing her mother could fully hear her now. “I don’t know how likely it is that Mom could hear everything happening today and keep quiet. First you and Ruby, then Elsa and Liam. It would have been an awful lot of temptation…”

_“Emma!”_ Her Mom said with a tone of censure, but then there was mumbling in the background and she heard her mother sigh. _“Okay fine, I wanted to say things but your father reminded me that if I did Graham would probably shut off the feed, and I just couldn’t risk it.”_

“I may not know your parents well, but that sounds about right,” Ruby said with a smirk. “And five bucks says Granny’s in on this too.”

“No one’s dumb enough to take that bet,” Killian joked and sure enough Granny’s voice came through the feed confirming that she was there and enjoying all the updates as well.

_“Oh I’m here, and I have all sorts of questions for this man who thinks he’s good enough for my Ruby Lee.”_

“Oh Jesus,” Ruby said with the first show of embarrassment she’d had today. She grabbed the walkie talkie from Graham and finally put this all to bed.

“All right you three, show’s over. You’ve had your fun. Granny, I will see you tomorrow,” Ruby said, before backtracking after looking back at Graham whose eyes were on her and filled with both heat and a quizzical question asking if she’d really be up for company tomorrow. “Scratch that, I’ll see you soon…ish. You want references, you got them sitting right next to you. I’m sure Mary Margaret and David are all too happy to fill you in on all things Graham.”

Anna then took the reciever from Ruby and gave her own message to Emma’s parents. “And don’t worry, I was only playing earlier. I’ll be over to fill you in on everything you missed. All I ask is that you make one of your awesome blueberry pies. I don’t have a man yet, so I could at least get some damn dessert." 

Emma bit back another laugh at how quickly her mother agreed to that proposition, and over the next few minutes the group disbanded, with the new mates going to find alone time as Anna and Tink headed towards her parents house. For Emma and Killian though, there was so much to be said and so much to discuss, but Emma knew that they wouldn’t get into the details tonight. No, she didn’t see much in the way of talking happening tonight at all, not when the relief she felt was so distinctly mirrored in her mate’s eyes, and not when the lifting of the Liam burden had left space only for love and hope and happiness.

“Picture it, love,” Killian said as he brought her into the house, locking the door behind them and then pulling her into his arms so there was no space left between them. “A whole night just you and me and some good old fashioned peace and quiet.”

“Well I don’t know about quiet…” Emma teased as her hand trailed down his chest, her voice dropping a bit lower and the huskiness of her want for him sounding out undeniably in her tone. “I kind of like when we get all worked up.”

Killian’s growl gave away how much he loved that too, and the next thing she knew he was sweeping her up and bringing them to the bedroom. Whether it was shifter speed or just Emma’s own infatuated state any time Killian put his hands on her she didn’t know, but it felt like one second her feet were on the ground and the next she was pinned against the door in their bedroom as Killian gazed at her with lust and love and longing.

“Allow me to be more clear,” Killian murmured his mouth whispering the words against her skin between kisses as he moved from his lips to her jaw, down her neck and lower. “Tonight it’s just you and me and the love between us. Nothing – and I do mean nothing – is getting between me and my mate tonight.”

Killian murmured the words as he practically ripped the clothing from her body, and Emma was mindless to do anything but claw away the clothes he still had on too. She went from teasing to needy in the blink of an eye, and from the hungry, predatory gaze Killian sent her way, Emma knew the night before them would be anything but fast. No, Killian had other plans, and if the already delicious torment of his hands and his mouth were anything to go by, Emma was going to be more than satisfied in every way.

“Every day I wonder if I’ll be used to this yet,” Killian rasped against her skin as he brought her to the bed, trailing his wicked mouth along the bared flesh of her neck. He nipped lightly at one of the mating marks he’d left on her and Emma jumped, her body so hot and ready and wanting though they’d barely even begun. “I wonder if your beauty will stop taking my breath away, or if I’ll feel anything but awe here in your presence. Will my heart stop feeling fit to burst? Will my need ever calm or wane away?” 

“And the verdict?” Emma asked as one of his hands moved up her thigh as his lips moved down to her breasts, his touches moving between gentle and demanding, riling her up so effortlessly.

“It’s a waste of wondering, love. For there will never come a day when I don’t crave you. I need you, Emma, more than anything the world over, and I love you in ways I can’t possibly put in words.”

“So show me,” Emma begged, her voice a breathy moan as Killian’s lips turned up in a sinfully sexy smirk. 

“That’s exactly what I plan to do.”

Emma was so torn in this moment. Mindless with pleasure and crescendoing desire, she wanted to close her eyes and revel in all of his ministrations. His fingers came to touch her most intimate skin, and the brush of his thumb on her clit as his teeth nipped the sensitive part of her breast pulled more moans from within her. But if she looked away from him now, Emma would deny herself the pleasure of seeing the man she was made for looking both fantastically wild and totally in control. Killian was so damn attractive. He always had her thinking the dirtiest things and craving something more, no matter the time of day, but seeing him like this, totally assured and completely in command of her body had her arching to be closer to him. He was magnificent right now – and if someone were to tell her there was a world outside of this bed right now she’d hardly believe them. She was so caught up in this moment, so strung out sensation, all she could do was feel and want and beg for more.

“ _Killian_ ,” she pleaded, words failing her, and then he growled with satisfaction against her skin.

The hum of his territorial action pushed Emma’s already aching need towards the edge of release. Then the anticipation pushed her still closer as he moved down her body, his lips tasting every part of her until his mouth came to feast on her, tormenting her into marvelous madness. She shattered so quickly, but her mate wasn’t anywhere near satisfied. He pulled her climax from her only to tease her more, building her up and taking another. He seemed hell bent on a third but Emma was brazen now and desperate for more. She pulled him back up to her, and when he thrust inside, filling her completely she felt nothing but satisfaction and the most ethereal sense of completion.

There was no telling how long they were locked together like this. Both of them were consumed with the other, chasing release and saying with words and with actions everything they felt. This was more than love; it was destiny while somehow also being a choice. No matter what the mating call had said, Emma knew that their love transcended all of that. Nature was strong, but somehow this was stronger, and the pull of wanting never seemed to fade between them.

“You’re mine,” Emma whispered, when they were both spent and exhausted, as she placed another kiss to the place just above his heart. She must have said it a thousand times tonight, but each time it was both a claiming and a prayer. She was so happy to have this and to have Killian, and there was no denying that he felt the same. 

“And you’re mine, Emma. For far longer than forever.” 

With those beautiful promises in mind, Emma lay there, wrapped up in her mate thinking about how sure this thing between them was. And as she drifted off to sleep, it was almost hard to discern reality from fantasy, because life, right here in this moment, was better than any dream. Because this life was real and it was hers and it was filled with endless, glorious, wonderful possibility.

**_Post-Note: So some of you (okay probably all of you) must have seen this coming. I would never be able to write something so painful as losing Liam or Killian having to kill his brother. I always knew ever since the start that Liam and Elsa would be mates, and I knew that the only way to heal Liam would require magic. There’s much more to come in terms of the bite and how Elsa will help Liam, so rest assured that will be covered. And there’s also quite a few more chapters left to go. My plan is to have 22 chapters and then potentially an additional epilogue, and trust me when I tell you there is plenty more story yet, and all of our twists and turns are not quite over. Anyway thanks so much to all of you for all your love and support. It might be few weeks or so until I get to publish my next chapter because I am doing a lot of traveling now that school is out, but I promise it’s coming! Thanks again and hope you all have a great weekend!_ **


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